May 16, 2024 - 7:00pm

→ Vatican to hold press conference on aliens

Catholicism is a broad church, and it appears the Vatican is now embracing lifeforms from beyond Earth. A notice uploaded to the Holy See’s website announces that cardinals will tomorrow hold a press conference discussing how to discern between “apparitions and other supernatural phenomena”.

What would Pope Francis think? Well, one of the speakers in Friday’s alien powwow is Cardinal Victor Manuel FernĂĄndez, a close associate of the Pontifex. This will be the first time the Vatican has held an official event discussing extraterrestrial affairs since 1978, and attendees are set to hear how the Catholic Church is planning for future supernatural encounters. Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised, though. A full decade ago, the Pope generously said that he’d baptise Martians if they asked, clarifying that he meant “green men, with a long nose and big ears, like children draw”. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Galactic Spirit?

→ Campus censorship machine comes back to bite progressives

Fancy that. Columbia University’s speech restrictions, which were ramped up after 2020 in the name of diversity, equity and inclusion, are now being used to silence Left-wing protesters.

Efforts to quash “hateful” and “far-Right” speech have bewilderingly led to crackdowns on “ideas that are not inherently hateful” — including the “from the river to the sea” chant — according to a new Vox piece which urges progressives to reclaim the value of free speech. “Protecting radical dissent requires tolerating Right-wing speech,” the author begrudgingly acknowledges.

In years past, Vox has repeatedly scoffed at the idea that the free speech rights of conservatives are under attack on campus, a popular argument during the Trump years. But as the Left falls victim to campus censorship, the issue is now suddenly all too real. Maybe free speech has a future after all. 

→ Who dropped their cocaine on Capitol Hill?

In a story that should normally rank alongside bears defecating in the woods, a bag of cocaine has been found around the Capitol in Washington DC.

Yet the media has leapt on the incident, with Fox News airing a breaking news alert which breathlessly announced the development. It was left to programme anchor Jesse Waters to quickly clarify that the drugs had been found at the Capitol police headquarters — which are several blocks away from the Capitol building. Of course, this didn’t stop him from alluding to Hunter Biden’s recent visit to Congress to suggest that the President’s son may have been to blame.

Hunter was also the subject of suspicion when cocaine was found at the White House last year. Given the hard-partying reputation of Congressional and White House staffers — and even, apparently, some members of Congress — the accusations against Hunter Biden are perhaps unfair. Political workers taking drugs — whatever next?