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Why Harry couldn’t be a hero The prince has followed in his mother's footsteps


January 11, 2023   7 mins

Prince Harry has finally taken up the role he was always destined to fill. If Diana was, as Tony Blair dubbed her, the Princess of Hearts, Harry is her true heir: the Prince of Lolcows.

A “lolcow”, for those who don’t know, is a derogatory, very online term for someone who gains notoriety via attention-seeking behaviour, combined with imperviousness to criticism and lack of self-awareness. And 28 years ago, in 1995, in an emerging world of 24-hour news cycles and ever-hungrier tabloids, Harry’s mother became the first true lolcow. She also set the bar for media oversharing, in the notorious Martin Bashir interview that tipped her from remote, paparazzi-hounded royal to press-courting celebrity megastar. Here, Diana coyly dropped bombshell after bombshell of juicy gossip for the media, interspersed with soft-voiced woe about how awful it was that the media wanted to know everything about her.

In Spare, Harry has followed decisively in her footsteps, producing more than 400 pages of such painfully needy oversharing that every page of airport-novel prose cries out for a hug. And it does so while conveying a queasy sense of squinting through the curtains at some sordid domestic scene. Reading it left me bemused at how the people around this clearly unhappy man could have encouraged him – or at least not stopped him – over-sharing to quite such a degree.

But why do it? Why subject yourself to the hostility and humiliation that anyone could predict would follow these revelations? To a significant extent, the opportunity to lolcow himself in this way is not of Harry’s choosing. Rather, the larger context is the fact that this outdoorsy, obviously basically well-meaning-but-emotionally-mixed-up midwit was not born a prince in (as a wag observed on Twitter) an age where he could perish heroically in some ill-advised charge against Prussian cavalry. Rather, he had a prominent role thrust upon him, unasked, from birth, in an age that has made commodifying ourselves a centrepiece of culture and commerce alike.

I expected to feel exasperation and perhaps distaste reading what has by now been exhaustively trailed in every newspaper as a bombshell tell-all memoir of the notoriously private Royal Family. But I was surprised to find myself feeling deeply sorry for the Duke of Sussex. And if Spare has this unexpected effect, it’s less because it reveals him – as he presents himself – to be the innocent victim of persecutory tabloids and conniving courtiers. Rather, it’s in demonstrating just how ill-equipped he is, by temperament, to navigate the impossible choices with which fate has afflicted him.

In the decades since Diana’s death, ever greater swathes of the human soul have been redirected from human relationships to commercial exploitation. Celebrity culture is perhaps the most well-established and pervasive of such dynamics. It commodifies two other core features of our emotional landscapes, redirecting them from intimacy to profit: the social roles of gossip, and of self-disclosure. As our daily lives grow ever more atomised, we depend more and more on synthetic gossip about celebrities we don’t really know to fill the gaps in our personal “village” and provide fodder for its water-cooler conversations.

If gossip helps to oil the wheels of conversation, so too does self-disclosure. When we share something personal in a conversation, it invites an answering disclosure from the other. Over time, such disclosures create trust and intimacy. And the power of modern celebrity status comes from just such self-disclosures, but delivered asymmetrically: instead of forming part of an interpersonal exchange, the “celebrity” feeds gobbets of gossip to the publicity machine, in exchange for validation, money, or other opportunities.

Even within my modest platform, I’m conscious of this dynamic. Nothing elicits positive feedback in a column like a juicy personal anecdote. And there is always the temptation to go ever further, spilling more and more of yourself out for consumption by strangers until the result — in some quarters — becomes a kind of pornography of the self.

I can only guess at what relentless press scrutiny — which Harry calls the “fishbowl” — would feel like for someone accustomed to it at such immense scale, since childhood. Or, indeed, how such an individual might feel about the fact that its hunger was partly responsible for his own mother’s death. But if Spare depicts being endlessly “papped” as a living nightmare, it’s also in the nature of Faustian bargains, as Darran Anderson noted yesterday, to offer power as well as a horrible price. It is, after all, a function of Harry’s public profile that anyone cares about his childhood or inner life at all. And if Harry laments the way media scrutiny ruins relationship after relationship for him, he doesn’t seem able to imagine simply opting out altogether. It’s not beyond the wit of man to imagine disappearing altogether; wildly famous celebrities sometimes succeed in doing so. Instead, though, Spare recounts him rejecting an offered position as Governor-General of Bermuda, which he interprets as a plot by Camilla to get him out of the way. Well, yes, but doesn’t he want to be out of the way?

But it really doesn’t seem to just be Harry who wants to be both private, and yet also public. As Spare convincingly (if perhaps unintentionally) reveals, the entire Crown is in hock to the same bargain. At one point Harry recounts being berated by his father for taking legal action against the press, because (as Harry reports a courtier putting it) “one has to have a relationship with the press”. If Spare is to be believed, Charles tells him repeatedly just to ignore the tabloids — while playing the press like a fiddle, sometimes at the expense of his own sons, via carefully-managed leaks.

Harry’s explanation of his father’s behaviour in turn sheds light on his own tragic path to lolcow-dom. After a youth “deprived of love”, Harry speculates, Charles is “dangerously, compulsively drawn” to the “elixir” offered by the media. If Spare is at all accurate, this could apply just as well to Harry. But perhaps what damns Harry, unlike his father, to a tragic fate as lolcow is simply that he’s not very good at managing the balance between disclosure and self-protection, probably because he’s simply not cold-blooded enough. A lolcow is, in essence, someone who isn’t very good at playing the game of calculated self-disclosure; that’s Harry, to a T.

He clearly understands how avid the machine is for anything relatable. In one genuinely poignant passage, he recounts reaching for his father’s hand at the Balmoral gates, after Diana’s death, and how that gesture set off a barrage of clicking cameras: the media machine capturing an intimate moment, so it could be sold to the public. “I’d given them exactly what they wanted,” he says. “Emotion. Drama. Pain.”

But giving the public its fix of emotion, drama and pain shades over into lolcow behaviour at the point where sharing becomes a toxic cycle. In Harry’s description, at the gates of Balmoral, the cameras were weapons: “They fired and fired and fired.” And yet some go back for more nonetheless. For intimate self-disclosure to strangers rarely produces just empathy. While you may get a measure of this (and Harry has plenty of supporters) you’ll also get objectification, mockery, and further demands for personal details. Then, still needy, and still craving love and validation, those with lolcow tendencies will respond by further disclosure, thus provoking ever more objectification and so on.

My sense of the Duke of Sussex is that, unlike more cold-blooded and self-disciplined operators, he has spent his life since that moment in Balmoral reaching out again and again for a metaphorical hand-hold, only to receive in return another barrage of photography. So he’s given in, and attempted what he calls “honesty” — which is to say, flinging every personal detail into the maw of the machine at once, presumably in the hope that this will finally make the great mass of strangers like him.

Without ever leaving the same studiedly bland, tabloid-register prose, the book lurches between accounts of travel and action, grotesquely over-personal revelations, including about family members who doubtless never consented to be thus exposed, and strangely platitudinous passages of introspection. The cumulative impression is of someone who put his own personality into storage, and bought a replacement one in IKEA.

What beggars belief is the sheer level of neediness implied by such a wince-inducing level of self-exposure. But it’s hardly difficult to grasp why he should be so needy: his mother’s death haunts almost every page of Spare. He describes Diana as “light”, and reminisces about “Her devastating smile, her vulnerable eyes, her childlike love of movies and music and clothes and sweets – and us. Oh, how she loved us.”

But one twist in this heartbreak is never acknowledged. For if Harry describes the boys at his prep school as “abandoned children”, and we may infer that he considers himself abandoned, by her death, he doesn’t acknowledge that — regardless of how much she loved him — in truth his mother abandoned him before she died. “My mother legendarily said there were three people in her marriage,” he writes. “But her maths was off. She left Willy and me out of the equation.” And indeed she did, divorcing Charles and leaving her two sons behind with him, while she jetted off to beach resorts.

Unable to tip his mother off her pedestal, though, Harry recounts a youth spent seeking maternal warmth wherever it might be scrounged. Spare is full of what a therapist later tells him are “surrogate mums”: school matrons, Tiggy Legge-Bourke, and Teej, an older friend. Meanwhile the sainted Diana can do no wrong.

Perhaps, then, we shouldn’t berate him for vulnerabilities and cognitive dissonances he has, to such a great extent, inherited from her. For Spare also reveals just how far Harry is his mother’s son. He has inherited her fear of the dark, he says, “along with her nose, her blue eyes, her love of people, her hatred of smugness and fakery and all things posh”. But he seems to have followed her footsteps in more ambivalent ways, too. Spare is already as much of a voyeuristic sensation as she was. And it’s not much of a stretch to imagine Diana rationalising her own prioritisation of personal feeling over tradition and obligation much as Harry does, as part of “living in truth”.

Harry talks about fearing “a repeat of history, another untimely death like the one that had rocked this family to its core 23 years earlier”. The clear implication is that he is afraid Meghan might die in a car crash just like his mother. But my sense is that if anyone is in danger, it is Harry. For if he has inherited Diana’s nose, we may infer from Spare that he has also inherited her cocktail of vulnerability, emotional reasoning, and (shall we say) below-average analytic capacity that, combined with unasked-for levels of public scrutiny, has sealed his fate as Prince Lolcow.

Spare left me feeling genuine compassion for Harry, mingled with a queasy sense of shame for this tawdry era. Another time and culture might have afforded a man such as he an honourable life of leadership, even heroism. Instead, the 21st century has turned him into a broken reciter of Hallmark-tier therapy platitudes, hell-bent on strip-mining what’s left of public affection for him in fruitless pursuit of the empathy he clearly craves.

Arise, then, Prince Lolcow. For your own sake, please buy a few thousand acres somewhere remote, and devote yourself to something healthy and practical such as cattle farming. If you don’t, the media machine whose empathy you so self-destructively crave will continue farming you. And eventually it will grow tired of you, and torture you to death.


Mary Harrington is a contributing editor at UnHerd.

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Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago

Mary could well be right on of these aspects, but Harry definitely does not have any cattle farmer characteristics whatsoever; hard-working, practical, down-to-earth men as a rule. You might as well say, if only Harry was a different person altogether.

People say and assert all sorts of things about themselves, I want more privacy, I just want to live quietly in peace, I want to save the world, etc etc, but that is just blather when your actions create the opposite of what you said. Perhaps Jung’s the Shadow is to blame, or perhaps it’s just the communication age we are living through where far too much attention is given to words, what is said or written, and not enough to what is actually done.

As for what Harry can do, I don’t know, but despite what he says he likes attention, he seems to enjoy celebrity status and the lifestyle that goes with it, a cattle farmer he is not.

tom j
tom j
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

I don’t know Claire, he spent 10 years in the army, that’s got to be a pretty hard-working, practical, down-to-earth place.

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

By his birthright he was hardly a normal soldier!

Jeanie K
Jeanie K
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

The army was his “substitute Mummy”. there to tell him what to do and how to think.
It saved him having to try to think for himself. When he tried such thinking, he had to resort to drugs and mushrooms.

Jeff Butcher
Jeff Butcher
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeanie K

I’m glad he took mushrooms – to be honest I think all newly elected MPs should be required to take them before assuming office.

alistair pope
alistair pope
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeanie K

Jeanie,
The less you know about something, the more certain you are in your impressions. I served for 20+ years in a different army to your fantasy one: I was rarely told ‘what to do’, but was usually told what needed to be done – then left to my own devices to figure out the ‘How’.
I always thought for myself – and so did my soldiers.
I suggest you sign up for a few years as after initial training you will have to think for yourself all the time – and often with huge responsibilities.

Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago
Reply to  alistair pope

I upticked you.

Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago
Reply to  alistair pope

I upticked you.

Jeff Butcher
Jeff Butcher
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeanie K

I’m glad he took mushrooms – to be honest I think all newly elected MPs should be required to take them before assuming office.

alistair pope
alistair pope
1 year ago
Reply to  Jeanie K

Jeanie,
The less you know about something, the more certain you are in your impressions. I served for 20+ years in a different army to your fantasy one: I was rarely told ‘what to do’, but was usually told what needed to be done – then left to my own devices to figure out the ‘How’.
I always thought for myself – and so did my soldiers.
I suggest you sign up for a few years as after initial training you will have to think for yourself all the time – and often with huge responsibilities.

AL Crowe
AL Crowe
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

There’s a lot of competing claims about his time in the army, and at the very least was certainly given so many allowances beyond ordinary soldiers, such as being able to waltz off base for “urgent business” when mandatory drug tests were being conducted.
We’ll probably never have proof that he was mostly sat around being guarded whilst ordinary soldiers did the majority of the work, but considering how easily aggrieved he is about the pettiest of things, there’s every reason to think that he’d have thrown a fit over being expected to follow anything close to the standard work routine in the forces.

Last edited 1 year ago by AL Crowe
Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

I agree Tom, but where Harry is concerned there seems to be a disconnect between his soldier persona and the Harry we are presented with now. It’s a mystery.

Last edited 1 year ago by Claire D
Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

By his birthright he was hardly a normal soldier!

Jeanie K
Jeanie K
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

The army was his “substitute Mummy”. there to tell him what to do and how to think.
It saved him having to try to think for himself. When he tried such thinking, he had to resort to drugs and mushrooms.

AL Crowe
AL Crowe
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

There’s a lot of competing claims about his time in the army, and at the very least was certainly given so many allowances beyond ordinary soldiers, such as being able to waltz off base for “urgent business” when mandatory drug tests were being conducted.
We’ll probably never have proof that he was mostly sat around being guarded whilst ordinary soldiers did the majority of the work, but considering how easily aggrieved he is about the pettiest of things, there’s every reason to think that he’d have thrown a fit over being expected to follow anything close to the standard work routine in the forces.

Last edited 1 year ago by AL Crowe
Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago
Reply to  tom j

I agree Tom, but where Harry is concerned there seems to be a disconnect between his soldier persona and the Harry we are presented with now. It’s a mystery.

Last edited 1 year ago by Claire D
Harry Bo
Harry Bo
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

There’s a lot of rumours suggesting he was a fairly useless soldier.

Mark M Breza
Mark M Breza
1 year ago
Reply to  Harry Bo

By heaven, methinks it were an easy leap,
To pluck bright honour from the pale-faced moon,
Or dive into the bottom of the deep,
Where fathom-line could never touch the ground,
And pluck up drowned honour by the locks.
(Hotspur, Act 1 Scene 3)

Mark M Breza
Mark M Breza
1 year ago
Reply to  Harry Bo

By heaven, methinks it were an easy leap,
To pluck bright honour from the pale-faced moon,
Or dive into the bottom of the deep,
Where fathom-line could never touch the ground,
And pluck up drowned honour by the locks.
(Hotspur, Act 1 Scene 3)

Andrew Horsman
Andrew Horsman
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Well, I suppose he could take up cattle farming but also start reading Unherd, to maintain some balance.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist it.

Cathy Carron
Cathy Carron
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Harry’s not his own man – behind the curtain is his enabler wife, Meghan and his woke psychiatrist..

Elizabeth Fairburn
Elizabeth Fairburn
1 year ago
Reply to  Cathy Carron

& an actress who knows how to play the media and her husband!

Elizabeth Fairburn
Elizabeth Fairburn
1 year ago
Reply to  Cathy Carron

& an actress who knows how to play the media and her husband!

Paula G
Paula G
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Mary forgets where Harold is situated, in California, where Meghan and everyone else is steeped in their own realities.

There is a Ca. state representative trying to make it a crime for any non-white to be criticized, because this would support white privilege.

Meghan knows that this belief system is where her toast is buttered. Crazy rises to the top and everyone applauds. Harold would be praised and receive his treats, by fitting into all of this nonsense.

tom j
tom j
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

I don’t know Claire, he spent 10 years in the army, that’s got to be a pretty hard-working, practical, down-to-earth place.

Harry Bo
Harry Bo
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

There’s a lot of rumours suggesting he was a fairly useless soldier.

Andrew Horsman
Andrew Horsman
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Well, I suppose he could take up cattle farming but also start reading Unherd, to maintain some balance.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist it.

Cathy Carron
Cathy Carron
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Harry’s not his own man – behind the curtain is his enabler wife, Meghan and his woke psychiatrist..

Paula G
Paula G
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Mary forgets where Harold is situated, in California, where Meghan and everyone else is steeped in their own realities.

There is a Ca. state representative trying to make it a crime for any non-white to be criticized, because this would support white privilege.

Meghan knows that this belief system is where her toast is buttered. Crazy rises to the top and everyone applauds. Harold would be praised and receive his treats, by fitting into all of this nonsense.

Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago

Mary could well be right on of these aspects, but Harry definitely does not have any cattle farmer characteristics whatsoever; hard-working, practical, down-to-earth men as a rule. You might as well say, if only Harry was a different person altogether.

People say and assert all sorts of things about themselves, I want more privacy, I just want to live quietly in peace, I want to save the world, etc etc, but that is just blather when your actions create the opposite of what you said. Perhaps Jung’s the Shadow is to blame, or perhaps it’s just the communication age we are living through where far too much attention is given to words, what is said or written, and not enough to what is actually done.

As for what Harry can do, I don’t know, but despite what he says he likes attention, he seems to enjoy celebrity status and the lifestyle that goes with it, a cattle farmer he is not.

Steve Jolly
Steve Jolly
1 year ago

Another great article from Mary. Poor Harry. Some people are well-suited to our paradoxically hyper-social yet hyper-individualistic world of social media and endlessly multiplied yet superficial connections and some, alas, are not. At this point, it’s obvious to anyone paying attention that the spare prince is being used, just as Mary suggests, as a cash cow for paparazzi, book publishers, tabloids, gossip mongers, etc., a bone to be chewed and gnawed until all the marrow has been sucked out and then, when the value is gone and nobody is biting, unceremoniously discarded and forgotten. Rich and privileged though he may be, I still feel sorry for the man. He seems woefully unsuited to the role he was expected to fill, at least as it currently exists. As someone who has found the modern world mostly intolerable since I was old enough to understand what was going on in it, I can sympathize with Harry. I, however, was fortunate to be born an unimportant nobody from lower middle class stock rather than a British royal. Thus, my relative lack of success, my sometimes antisocial tendencies, and my inclination towards privacy had little potential to impact anyone or anything of national, regional, or even local importance. However, I can well imagine the disaster my combination of stubborn willfulness and lack of ambition would have inflicted on some old money family had I been inadvertently switched at birth and subjected to the level of expectation that comes with such status. Some are all the richer for their poverty, and vice versa. If he’s reading this, Harry should take up Mary’s suggestion and trade that mountain of royal wealth for a modest hillock somewhere far from any major media market and at least two hours drive from the nearest international airport.

Ian Barton
Ian Barton
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Nice response. Happiness is most easily found (for me at least) in not having to meet other people’s expectations.
I fear that this feeble individual has swapped one of set of discomforting expectations for another.

Last edited 1 year ago by Ian Barton
Matthew Q
Matthew Q
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Thank you for this. It made my day.

Anna Bramwell
Anna Bramwell
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Etcetera meaning his wife, who orchestrated all this from the start.

Jane Awdry
Jane Awdry
1 year ago
Reply to  Anna Bramwell

There can’t be much doubt about this. She has led every public conversation he’s had since they met, and encouraged him in every way to emote powerfully in the best tradition of US therapy-speak.
Poor Harry. He found his surrogate mother in Meghan, ready to hear him, hold him and to help him ‘speak his truth’. But being a royal wasn’t the glamorous affair she had hoped it would be. Most Brits know that it’s always been a hard slog of dutifully opening factories & digging holes for significant trees in outlying counties, as well as enduring the permanent lens of the paps, especially when they’re not ‘on duty’. It was never a round of parties & hanging out with celebrities. I can’t help thinking that surely Harry must have warned her of what to expect? Maybe she thought she could change things from within.
In any case, I hope for his sake that she’s in this for the long term. He would be utterly lost if she left him.

Diane Theobald
Diane Theobald
1 year ago
Reply to  Jane Awdry

“I can’t help thinking that surely Harry must have warned her of what to expect? Maybe she thought she could change things from within.
In any case, I hope for his sake that she’s in this for the long term. He would be utterly lost if she left him.”

He did, she did, she isn’t, she will, he will.

stephen archer
stephen archer
1 year ago
Reply to  Jane Awdry

He is already utterly lost and will continue to be so for as long as he is tied to her. If and when she leaves him he will have no choice but to try to rediscover who he is, if it’s not too late.

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago
Reply to  Jane Awdry

if you read tom bowers book you will find her motivation. the RF bent over backwards to prepare her and grant her concessions that Catherine wasn’t offered. She’s an utter fraud who hid her family from her husband because she was ashamed of them and couldn’t let her story be contradicted; remember in the engagement interview…’we are the family she never had’. her sister was maligned at the time for her criticism of meghan but has been shown to be right.

Diane Theobald
Diane Theobald
1 year ago
Reply to  Jane Awdry

“I can’t help thinking that surely Harry must have warned her of what to expect? Maybe she thought she could change things from within.
In any case, I hope for his sake that she’s in this for the long term. He would be utterly lost if she left him.”

He did, she did, she isn’t, she will, he will.

stephen archer
stephen archer
1 year ago
Reply to  Jane Awdry

He is already utterly lost and will continue to be so for as long as he is tied to her. If and when she leaves him he will have no choice but to try to rediscover who he is, if it’s not too late.

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago
Reply to  Jane Awdry

if you read tom bowers book you will find her motivation. the RF bent over backwards to prepare her and grant her concessions that Catherine wasn’t offered. She’s an utter fraud who hid her family from her husband because she was ashamed of them and couldn’t let her story be contradicted; remember in the engagement interview…’we are the family she never had’. her sister was maligned at the time for her criticism of meghan but has been shown to be right.

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  Anna Bramwell

She is definately pulling the strings, but he cannot see that he is being used.

Steve Jolly
Steve Jolly
1 year ago
Reply to  Anna Bramwell

I’d say his wife is, at the very least, not helping his situation. She strikes me as a thoroughly modern woman, filled with woke liberal dogma that runs contrary to the principles of royalty and traditional nobility in general. Notions of doing one’s duty, honorable behavior, adherence to tradition, deference to one’s elders, reverence of history, and so forth run altogether contrary to modern wokeism, and this is the true source, I suspect, of much of the friction between Meghan and the royal family. That said, Harry married her for a reason, perhaps as part of his rebellion against expectation. She is doubtless driving much of the conflict these days, but Harry surely allows it and seems to support his wife over his family in most things, which, if he weren’t a royal, would probably make him pretty sympathetic and generate very little controversy. There are plenty of people who marry against the wishes of their family, and, at least in America, the default position is that one should support one’s spouse against familial criticism. It’s a particularly bad sign if a guy doesn’t back his lady against his parents/siblings. Royals have different rules though, and Harry surely resents it. He isn’t the first. I’m reminded of the situation with Edward VIII and Wallace Simpson. It was easier to shuffle a problematic royal into anonymity in the age before smartphones and Facebook.

Last edited 1 year ago by Steve Jolly
Andrew Dovey
Andrew Dovey
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Imagine how fabulously rich some people could become if they could convince him to upset people who would kill him.

Andrew Dovey
Andrew Dovey
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Imagine how fabulously rich some people could become if they could convince him to upset people who would kill him.

Jane Awdry
Jane Awdry
1 year ago
Reply to  Anna Bramwell

There can’t be much doubt about this. She has led every public conversation he’s had since they met, and encouraged him in every way to emote powerfully in the best tradition of US therapy-speak.
Poor Harry. He found his surrogate mother in Meghan, ready to hear him, hold him and to help him ‘speak his truth’. But being a royal wasn’t the glamorous affair she had hoped it would be. Most Brits know that it’s always been a hard slog of dutifully opening factories & digging holes for significant trees in outlying counties, as well as enduring the permanent lens of the paps, especially when they’re not ‘on duty’. It was never a round of parties & hanging out with celebrities. I can’t help thinking that surely Harry must have warned her of what to expect? Maybe she thought she could change things from within.
In any case, I hope for his sake that she’s in this for the long term. He would be utterly lost if she left him.

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  Anna Bramwell

She is definately pulling the strings, but he cannot see that he is being used.

Steve Jolly
Steve Jolly
1 year ago
Reply to  Anna Bramwell

I’d say his wife is, at the very least, not helping his situation. She strikes me as a thoroughly modern woman, filled with woke liberal dogma that runs contrary to the principles of royalty and traditional nobility in general. Notions of doing one’s duty, honorable behavior, adherence to tradition, deference to one’s elders, reverence of history, and so forth run altogether contrary to modern wokeism, and this is the true source, I suspect, of much of the friction between Meghan and the royal family. That said, Harry married her for a reason, perhaps as part of his rebellion against expectation. She is doubtless driving much of the conflict these days, but Harry surely allows it and seems to support his wife over his family in most things, which, if he weren’t a royal, would probably make him pretty sympathetic and generate very little controversy. There are plenty of people who marry against the wishes of their family, and, at least in America, the default position is that one should support one’s spouse against familial criticism. It’s a particularly bad sign if a guy doesn’t back his lady against his parents/siblings. Royals have different rules though, and Harry surely resents it. He isn’t the first. I’m reminded of the situation with Edward VIII and Wallace Simpson. It was easier to shuffle a problematic royal into anonymity in the age before smartphones and Facebook.

Last edited 1 year ago by Steve Jolly
Jeff Butcher
Jeff Butcher
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

He could buy a ranch in NZ or somewhere if they’d have him but I don’t think he or his wife want that.
I think they like being in the Oprah circle in America ‘making a difference’ as they see it. All that hogwash.

Hilary Easton
Hilary Easton
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Great post, Steve, I think you are my spiritual brother. Wealth and fame, whether inherited or earned, are not worth the candle.

Nick Wade
Nick Wade
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

“ Thus, my relative lack of success, my sometimes antisocial tendencies, and my inclination towards privacy had little potential to impact anyone or anything of national, regional, or even local importance.”

Thank you. I loved this line. I think we can all see a little bit of ourselves in that. Success is relative. You currently have 107 upvotes!

Ian Barton
Ian Barton
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Nice response. Happiness is most easily found (for me at least) in not having to meet other people’s expectations.
I fear that this feeble individual has swapped one of set of discomforting expectations for another.

Last edited 1 year ago by Ian Barton
Matthew Q
Matthew Q
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Thank you for this. It made my day.

Anna Bramwell
Anna Bramwell
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Etcetera meaning his wife, who orchestrated all this from the start.

Jeff Butcher
Jeff Butcher
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

He could buy a ranch in NZ or somewhere if they’d have him but I don’t think he or his wife want that.
I think they like being in the Oprah circle in America ‘making a difference’ as they see it. All that hogwash.

Hilary Easton
Hilary Easton
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

Great post, Steve, I think you are my spiritual brother. Wealth and fame, whether inherited or earned, are not worth the candle.

Nick Wade
Nick Wade
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Jolly

“ Thus, my relative lack of success, my sometimes antisocial tendencies, and my inclination towards privacy had little potential to impact anyone or anything of national, regional, or even local importance.”

Thank you. I loved this line. I think we can all see a little bit of ourselves in that. Success is relative. You currently have 107 upvotes!

Steve Jolly
Steve Jolly
1 year ago

Another great article from Mary. Poor Harry. Some people are well-suited to our paradoxically hyper-social yet hyper-individualistic world of social media and endlessly multiplied yet superficial connections and some, alas, are not. At this point, it’s obvious to anyone paying attention that the spare prince is being used, just as Mary suggests, as a cash cow for paparazzi, book publishers, tabloids, gossip mongers, etc., a bone to be chewed and gnawed until all the marrow has been sucked out and then, when the value is gone and nobody is biting, unceremoniously discarded and forgotten. Rich and privileged though he may be, I still feel sorry for the man. He seems woefully unsuited to the role he was expected to fill, at least as it currently exists. As someone who has found the modern world mostly intolerable since I was old enough to understand what was going on in it, I can sympathize with Harry. I, however, was fortunate to be born an unimportant nobody from lower middle class stock rather than a British royal. Thus, my relative lack of success, my sometimes antisocial tendencies, and my inclination towards privacy had little potential to impact anyone or anything of national, regional, or even local importance. However, I can well imagine the disaster my combination of stubborn willfulness and lack of ambition would have inflicted on some old money family had I been inadvertently switched at birth and subjected to the level of expectation that comes with such status. Some are all the richer for their poverty, and vice versa. If he’s reading this, Harry should take up Mary’s suggestion and trade that mountain of royal wealth for a modest hillock somewhere far from any major media market and at least two hours drive from the nearest international airport.

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

Outstanding. This is the sort of subject that Mary Harrington does uniquely well. She comes up with such original and definitive phrases like “painfully needy oversharing” and “strip-mining public affection”. And she’s read this wretched book so we don’t have to !
Quite correct to turn the spotlight back on ourselves and our participation in creating this “tawdry era”.
But I still have no sympathy for the Sussexes and their appalling behaviour and hypocrisy.

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

Outstanding. This is the sort of subject that Mary Harrington does uniquely well. She comes up with such original and definitive phrases like “painfully needy oversharing” and “strip-mining public affection”. And she’s read this wretched book so we don’t have to !
Quite correct to turn the spotlight back on ourselves and our participation in creating this “tawdry era”.
But I still have no sympathy for the Sussexes and their appalling behaviour and hypocrisy.

Gavin Thomas
Gavin Thomas
1 year ago

Apparently, Harry didn’t kill 25 Taliban. He captured them and then spent hours whinging and moaning about his life – and the captives shot themselves.

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  Gavin Thomas

Wonderful, gave me a smile.

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago
Reply to  Gavin Thomas

Fell off my bar stool

Stoater D
Stoater D
1 year ago
Reply to  Gavin Thomas

Very good.
But he hadn’t met Megan at that point.

Cathy Carron
Cathy Carron
1 year ago
Reply to  Stoater D

Which is why he actually did something instead of just whinged…

Cathy Carron
Cathy Carron
1 year ago
Reply to  Stoater D

Which is why he actually did something instead of just whinged…

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  Gavin Thomas

Wonderful, gave me a smile.

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago
Reply to  Gavin Thomas

Fell off my bar stool

Stoater D
Stoater D
1 year ago
Reply to  Gavin Thomas

Very good.
But he hadn’t met Megan at that point.

Gavin Thomas
Gavin Thomas
1 year ago

Apparently, Harry didn’t kill 25 Taliban. He captured them and then spent hours whinging and moaning about his life – and the captives shot themselves.

Richard Abbot
Richard Abbot
1 year ago

He’s just a bit thick, innit?

rob drummond
rob drummond
1 year ago
Reply to  Richard Abbot

No. Hes a lot thick!

rob drummond
rob drummond
1 year ago
Reply to  Richard Abbot

No. Hes a lot thick!

Richard Abbot
Richard Abbot
1 year ago

He’s just a bit thick, innit?

Peter Johnson
Peter Johnson
1 year ago

I have have always had sympathy for Harry and William – but particularly Harry. I think he could have retired to the Shetland Islands to raise sheep and train the local militia or something – but he decided to marry an actress from the US. I just think she is a terrible match for Harry – which is not to say she is a bad person at all. I feel like they will continue to strive for celebrity while their appeal fades. The reality is that he has cut himself off from the one career he could have had – the military – and other than that he doesn’t appear to have any marketable skills.

Ben Jones
Ben Jones
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

I love the idea of the Shetland Island having a militia. Harry could fly over these hardy, kilted warriors, making machine-gun noises over the PA system fitted to his helicopter.

Doug Pingel
Doug Pingel
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

Harry didn’t decide to marry Meghan – it was the other way round and probably, IMHO, in a cold and calculating manner.

Anthony Michaels
Anthony Michaels
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

She seems like a terrible person actually. Perhaps average for a C list Hollywood actress.

Ben Jones
Ben Jones
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

I love the idea of the Shetland Island having a militia. Harry could fly over these hardy, kilted warriors, making machine-gun noises over the PA system fitted to his helicopter.

Doug Pingel
Doug Pingel
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

Harry didn’t decide to marry Meghan – it was the other way round and probably, IMHO, in a cold and calculating manner.

Anthony Michaels
Anthony Michaels
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

She seems like a terrible person actually. Perhaps average for a C list Hollywood actress.

Peter Johnson
Peter Johnson
1 year ago

I have have always had sympathy for Harry and William – but particularly Harry. I think he could have retired to the Shetland Islands to raise sheep and train the local militia or something – but he decided to marry an actress from the US. I just think she is a terrible match for Harry – which is not to say she is a bad person at all. I feel like they will continue to strive for celebrity while their appeal fades. The reality is that he has cut himself off from the one career he could have had – the military – and other than that he doesn’t appear to have any marketable skills.

David McKee
David McKee
1 year ago

A comparison with Camilla is instructive.
She emerged from Diana’s death, almost universally seen as the Wicked Witch of the West. She did not complain, she did not run away. She kept her head down and just got on with it. It took her twenty years of hard graft and a _lot_ of knocks, but she’s turned it around. She’s now queen, and most people are happy about that.
It’s not just his dimness (none of the family is particularly bright), nor is it a fractured childhood and adolescence (Prince Philip had it much worse). it comes down to character. As in, lack of.
Prince Philip would have been appalled.

David McKee
David McKee
1 year ago

A comparison with Camilla is instructive.
She emerged from Diana’s death, almost universally seen as the Wicked Witch of the West. She did not complain, she did not run away. She kept her head down and just got on with it. It took her twenty years of hard graft and a _lot_ of knocks, but she’s turned it around. She’s now queen, and most people are happy about that.
It’s not just his dimness (none of the family is particularly bright), nor is it a fractured childhood and adolescence (Prince Philip had it much worse). it comes down to character. As in, lack of.
Prince Philip would have been appalled.

Paddy Taylor
Paddy Taylor
1 year ago

Harry should be stripped of the Sussex title and re-dubbed Knave of Hearts.

Or, given his propensity for seeking revenge, maybe he should be demoted from the dukedom to become ‘The Count of Montecito’ – though that might be a typo

Last edited 1 year ago by Paddy Taylor
Steve Murray
Steve Murray
1 year ago
Reply to  Paddy Taylor

Maybe a downgrade to the Duke of Scunthorpe?

Nicky Samengo-Turner
Nicky Samengo-Turner
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Murray

annoyingly there already is a Duke of Kent and Earl of Surrey, Marquess of Hertford, heow abeout Le Marquis de Bourgeois?

Jason Nicholson
Jason Nicholson
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Murray

Ay up, I’m from Sunny Scunny; please don’t hurt my sensitive feelings.
For what it’s worth (nothing) I think Harry has been suffering for years from PTSD. He has had plenty of trauma. His public over sharing is symptomatic, fanned by modern social media platforms and celebrity culture.

Alphonse Pfarti
Alphonse Pfarti
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Murray

Count Scunthorpe?

Last edited 1 year ago by Alphonse Pfarti
Alphonse Pfarti
Alphonse Pfarti
1 year ago

Seeing as I was far from first on this and now can’t edit, I shall revise to the Scout of Cun’thorpe.

Alphonse Pfarti
Alphonse Pfarti
1 year ago

Seeing as I was far from first on this and now can’t edit, I shall revise to the Scout of Cun’thorpe.

Nicky Samengo-Turner
Nicky Samengo-Turner
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Murray

annoyingly there already is a Duke of Kent and Earl of Surrey, Marquess of Hertford, heow abeout Le Marquis de Bourgeois?

Jason Nicholson
Jason Nicholson
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Murray

Ay up, I’m from Sunny Scunny; please don’t hurt my sensitive feelings.
For what it’s worth (nothing) I think Harry has been suffering for years from PTSD. He has had plenty of trauma. His public over sharing is symptomatic, fanned by modern social media platforms and celebrity culture.

Alphonse Pfarti
Alphonse Pfarti
1 year ago
Reply to  Steve Murray

Count Scunthorpe?

Last edited 1 year ago by Alphonse Pfarti
rob drummond
rob drummond
1 year ago
Reply to  Paddy Taylor

Or a combination: The Count of Scunthorpe!

I would like to think Parliament (who has the sole authority) would vote to scrap the titles – but could we stand yet another docuseries and book about that?

Steve Murray
Steve Murray
1 year ago
Reply to  Paddy Taylor

Maybe a downgrade to the Duke of Scunthorpe?

rob drummond
rob drummond
1 year ago
Reply to  Paddy Taylor

Or a combination: The Count of Scunthorpe!

I would like to think Parliament (who has the sole authority) would vote to scrap the titles – but could we stand yet another docuseries and book about that?

Paddy Taylor
Paddy Taylor
1 year ago

Harry should be stripped of the Sussex title and re-dubbed Knave of Hearts.

Or, given his propensity for seeking revenge, maybe he should be demoted from the dukedom to become ‘The Count of Montecito’ – though that might be a typo

Last edited 1 year ago by Paddy Taylor
J Bryant
J Bryant
1 year ago

A very perceptive and sympathetic analysis of Harry. My sense is it might be a bit too sympathetic but, as always, I admire the author’s insight and writing.
Mary Harrington wrote that “Reading it left me bemused at how the people around this clearly unhappy man could have encouraged him – or at least not stopped him – over-sharing to quite such a degree”
Here’s a little tidbit I received in my daily email from The Spectator that at least partly answers that question, imo: “Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, was published today. It has become the fastest-selling non-fiction book ever, recording 400,000 sales, according to its publisher.”

Jeff Cunningham
Jeff Cunningham
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

I read that paragraph (“Reading it left me bemused…”) to my wife and she said, “Why? Because they’re making all kinds of money off him.”

AL Crowe
AL Crowe
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

Harry doesn’t seem to realise that those currently interviewing him, inviting him to do comedy sketches, etc, aren’t laughing with him, they are laughing at him.
He’s also not got the analytic or social skills to realise that he’s provided an entire book’s worth of reasons for his suddenly silent wife to use to limit his access to his children in the event of a divorce, and might even lead to him being forced out of America when (and I do think it is a when not an if) they split.
What judge is going to think a man who constantly takes drugs, suffers from severe paranoia and seems to struggle to grasp reality at points is someone suitable to be unsupervised around children? How many would dismiss Megan if she decided to claim he had violent rages and was a danger to her and their children after he has already laid such strong foundations for doubting his mental stability?

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago
Reply to  AL Crowe

It is frightening to know

you are right. When
and not if
..she dumps him like a wet rag
..she will gut him like a fish. Charles will have to foot the bill and Harry will be the next royal disgrace looking after a mob of corgis.
When I thinks about the amount of genuine family abuse that takes place day in and day out in not so privileged circles
..actually
.domestic abuse also takes place in posh families

I have to muster all the empathy I can find to feel sorry for Harry.
i actually find none.

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago
Reply to  AL Crowe

It is frightening to know

you are right. When
and not if
..she dumps him like a wet rag
..she will gut him like a fish. Charles will have to foot the bill and Harry will be the next royal disgrace looking after a mob of corgis.
When I thinks about the amount of genuine family abuse that takes place day in and day out in not so privileged circles
..actually
.domestic abuse also takes place in posh families

I have to muster all the empathy I can find to feel sorry for Harry.
i actually find none.

William Murphy
William Murphy
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

As per the classic advice to journalists – follow the money. I am reminded of the first week of January 2000. I had been working in Detroit modifying software for the heavily predicted Y2K disaster. On the table outside our local Borders’ bookshop there was a huge pile of books being remaindered for 15 cents or so. All were full of detailed advice for surviving the electronic meltdown. Is “Spare” going to be similarly remaindered in a few weeks?

Terry M
Terry M
1 year ago
Reply to  William Murphy

We can hope.

Terry M
Terry M
1 year ago
Reply to  William Murphy

We can hope.

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

Surely that should have read as ‘fiction’.No accounting for the general public,should think the charity shops etc will be overloaded with copies soon.

Jeff Cunningham
Jeff Cunningham
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

I read that paragraph (“Reading it left me bemused…”) to my wife and she said, “Why? Because they’re making all kinds of money off him.”

AL Crowe
AL Crowe
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

Harry doesn’t seem to realise that those currently interviewing him, inviting him to do comedy sketches, etc, aren’t laughing with him, they are laughing at him.
He’s also not got the analytic or social skills to realise that he’s provided an entire book’s worth of reasons for his suddenly silent wife to use to limit his access to his children in the event of a divorce, and might even lead to him being forced out of America when (and I do think it is a when not an if) they split.
What judge is going to think a man who constantly takes drugs, suffers from severe paranoia and seems to struggle to grasp reality at points is someone suitable to be unsupervised around children? How many would dismiss Megan if she decided to claim he had violent rages and was a danger to her and their children after he has already laid such strong foundations for doubting his mental stability?

William Murphy
William Murphy
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

As per the classic advice to journalists – follow the money. I am reminded of the first week of January 2000. I had been working in Detroit modifying software for the heavily predicted Y2K disaster. On the table outside our local Borders’ bookshop there was a huge pile of books being remaindered for 15 cents or so. All were full of detailed advice for surviving the electronic meltdown. Is “Spare” going to be similarly remaindered in a few weeks?

Lynda Ovens
Lynda Ovens
1 year ago
Reply to  J Bryant

Surely that should have read as ‘fiction’.No accounting for the general public,should think the charity shops etc will be overloaded with copies soon.

J Bryant
J Bryant
1 year ago

A very perceptive and sympathetic analysis of Harry. My sense is it might be a bit too sympathetic but, as always, I admire the author’s insight and writing.
Mary Harrington wrote that “Reading it left me bemused at how the people around this clearly unhappy man could have encouraged him – or at least not stopped him – over-sharing to quite such a degree”
Here’s a little tidbit I received in my daily email from The Spectator that at least partly answers that question, imo: “Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, was published today. It has become the fastest-selling non-fiction book ever, recording 400,000 sales, according to its publisher.”

James Kirk
James Kirk
1 year ago

His mother was a silly cow and then he married one. He is a cash cow and I doubt the current bovine would relish farming cattle somewhere remote forever illuminated by the telescopic sights of the Taleban.

James Kirk
James Kirk
1 year ago

His mother was a silly cow and then he married one. He is a cash cow and I doubt the current bovine would relish farming cattle somewhere remote forever illuminated by the telescopic sights of the Taleban.

Bronwen Saunders
Bronwen Saunders
1 year ago

I agree that Harry now cuts a sad figure. He seems to think that the therapeutic gain, for him, of telling “his truth” justifies whatever pain he is now inflicting on others. But true growth will come only when he learns to look critically at his mother – without loving her any the less – and realizes that he is himself deeply flawed. Only then can there be forgiveness and reconciliation. Unfortunately, his wife and therapist have encouraged him to do something which makes such a breakthrough all but impossible and dooms him to a life of being perpetually on the defensive, which is indeed very sad.

Frank McCusker
Frank McCusker
1 year ago

“A pity beyond all telling is hid at the heart of love.”

Frank McCusker
Frank McCusker
1 year ago

“A pity beyond all telling is hid at the heart of love.”

Bronwen Saunders
Bronwen Saunders
1 year ago

I agree that Harry now cuts a sad figure. He seems to think that the therapeutic gain, for him, of telling “his truth” justifies whatever pain he is now inflicting on others. But true growth will come only when he learns to look critically at his mother – without loving her any the less – and realizes that he is himself deeply flawed. Only then can there be forgiveness and reconciliation. Unfortunately, his wife and therapist have encouraged him to do something which makes such a breakthrough all but impossible and dooms him to a life of being perpetually on the defensive, which is indeed very sad.

AC Harper
AC Harper
1 year ago

The Epicureans had a motto: “Live unknown” λΏΞΔ ÎČÎčώσας
So Mary Harrington’s counsel that Harry, formerly known as Prince, should retreat from overly public life is sound. But celebrity, even with added victimhood, is addictive…. and when you are wed to a professional celebrity almost impossible to pull off without separation.

Last edited 1 year ago by AC Harper
Nicholas Coulson
Nicholas Coulson
1 year ago
Reply to  AC Harper

“Vivre heureux, c’est vivre cachĂ©”

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago

Pour vivre heureux
..vivons cachés

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago

Pour vivre heureux
..vivons cachés

Nicholas Coulson
Nicholas Coulson
1 year ago
Reply to  AC Harper

“Vivre heureux, c’est vivre cachĂ©”

AC Harper
AC Harper
1 year ago

The Epicureans had a motto: “Live unknown” λΏΞΔ ÎČÎčώσας
So Mary Harrington’s counsel that Harry, formerly known as Prince, should retreat from overly public life is sound. But celebrity, even with added victimhood, is addictive…. and when you are wed to a professional celebrity almost impossible to pull off without separation.

Last edited 1 year ago by AC Harper
Sam Brown
Sam Brown
1 year ago

Who will rid us of this meddlesome Prince?

Sam Brown
Sam Brown
1 year ago

Who will rid us of this meddlesome Prince?

Emmanuel MARTIN
Emmanuel MARTIN
1 year ago

So much ink about a traitor to the Crown

rob drummond
rob drummond
1 year ago

Traitor to Crown and Country

John Ramsden
John Ramsden
1 year ago

Several UK bookshops are deliberately and hilariously showing copies of his pot boiler on special display next to copies of tomes such as “Traitors in English history” and suchlike.

Last edited 1 year ago by John Ramsden
rob drummond
rob drummond
1 year ago

Traitor to Crown and Country

John Ramsden
John Ramsden
1 year ago

Several UK bookshops are deliberately and hilariously showing copies of his pot boiler on special display next to copies of tomes such as “Traitors in English history” and suchlike.

Last edited 1 year ago by John Ramsden
Emmanuel MARTIN
Emmanuel MARTIN
1 year ago

So much ink about a traitor to the Crown

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago

Haven’t we heard enough about Harry?
Surely there a more important things to rant about?

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

Yes. But the article also encourages us to look at our own collusion in creating this monstrosity. If we had ignored the Sussexes, perhaps we might be left in peace (though I doubt it). But too many people seem interested and there is simply too much media space in need of filling.
So feel free to move the ranting on to all the “camp followers” who fan the flames of this media circus !

Last edited 1 year ago by Peter B
CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter B

Far too many people have far too much time on their hands.

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

Quite. Including us commenting here of course !

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter B

Yes, and my excuse is I am in the Waiting For Death Cohort (WFDC) which carries with it certain privileges.

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago

LOL

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago

LOL

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter B

Yes, and my excuse is I am in the Waiting For Death Cohort (WFDC) which carries with it certain privileges.

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

Quite. Including us commenting here of course !

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter B

Far too many people have far too much time on their hands.

Nicky Samengo-Turner
Nicky Samengo-Turner
1 year ago

It all started on a shoot morning in Norfolk a few years back: Harry came down to shoot breakfast in his dressing gown: When his host said ” Better get up and get changed” Harry announced that ‘ she’ would not let him go out shooting”…. I heard about it that evening as I was staying with the uncle of the host in question….

Peter Johnson
Peter Johnson
1 year ago

Well he isn’t the first man to have his hunting/ car racing / gun owning habits nixed by a new wife.

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

You forgot to mention some other accessories

Bruno Lucy
Bruno Lucy
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

You forgot to mention some other accessories

Dominic A
Dominic A
1 year ago

I think you meant, ‘She’, as in She Who Must Be Obeyed.

John Ramsden
John Ramsden
1 year ago

If “she” was that sensitive about the rights of pheasants and rabbits etc, I wonder how she feels about him mowing down non-white people by the score (if his exploits are to be believed).

Last edited 1 year ago by John Ramsden
Peter Johnson
Peter Johnson
1 year ago

Well he isn’t the first man to have his hunting/ car racing / gun owning habits nixed by a new wife.

Dominic A
Dominic A
1 year ago

I think you meant, ‘She’, as in She Who Must Be Obeyed.

John Ramsden
John Ramsden
1 year ago

If “she” was that sensitive about the rights of pheasants and rabbits etc, I wonder how she feels about him mowing down non-white people by the score (if his exploits are to be believed).

Last edited 1 year ago by John Ramsden
Frank McCusker
Frank McCusker
1 year ago

Of course, albeit this balanced, and nicely-written, article is very far from a rant – and if Harry’s dirty linen is the beginning of the end for the monarchy as currently constituted, then there may be wider constitutional ramifications.

Peter Johnson
Peter Johnson
1 year ago

It is a nice break from griping about medical treatment of trans kids.

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

Agreed, but we NEED more on such other subjects as:-

The wretched Greeks are about to pinch the Elgin Marbles.

Corruption in the EU is endemic (Greeks involved
.again!).

What’s going on in Israel, is Netanyahu about to ‘nuke’ Iran, and what if anything are Palestinians up to.

Also some news from ‘down under’ would be interesting, particularly after their simply dreadful Covid performance!

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Johnson

Agreed, but we NEED more on such other subjects as:-

The wretched Greeks are about to pinch the Elgin Marbles.

Corruption in the EU is endemic (Greeks involved
.again!).

What’s going on in Israel, is Netanyahu about to ‘nuke’ Iran, and what if anything are Palestinians up to.

Also some news from ‘down under’ would be interesting, particularly after their simply dreadful Covid performance!

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

Yes. But the article also encourages us to look at our own collusion in creating this monstrosity. If we had ignored the Sussexes, perhaps we might be left in peace (though I doubt it). But too many people seem interested and there is simply too much media space in need of filling.
So feel free to move the ranting on to all the “camp followers” who fan the flames of this media circus !

Last edited 1 year ago by Peter B
Nicky Samengo-Turner
Nicky Samengo-Turner
1 year ago

It all started on a shoot morning in Norfolk a few years back: Harry came down to shoot breakfast in his dressing gown: When his host said ” Better get up and get changed” Harry announced that ‘ she’ would not let him go out shooting”…. I heard about it that evening as I was staying with the uncle of the host in question….

Frank McCusker
Frank McCusker
1 year ago

Of course, albeit this balanced, and nicely-written, article is very far from a rant – and if Harry’s dirty linen is the beginning of the end for the monarchy as currently constituted, then there may be wider constitutional ramifications.

Peter Johnson
Peter Johnson
1 year ago

It is a nice break from griping about medical treatment of trans kids.

CHARLES STANHOPE
CHARLES STANHOPE
1 year ago

Haven’t we heard enough about Harry?
Surely there a more important things to rant about?

Dougie Undersub
Dougie Undersub
1 year ago

An insightful piece by Mary, although the absence of any mention of Me-again means it is missing a dimension.
I find it telling that there was only one member of M’s family at their wedding and she seems now to have similarly separated H from his family. This will not end well.
Furthermore, Harold seems unable to grasp that, had he been born John Doe from Nowheresville, Minnesota, no-one would be interested in his life story, least of all Netflix. The institution he rails against is funding his Beverly Hills lifestyle.

Dougie Undersub
Dougie Undersub
1 year ago

An insightful piece by Mary, although the absence of any mention of Me-again means it is missing a dimension.
I find it telling that there was only one member of M’s family at their wedding and she seems now to have similarly separated H from his family. This will not end well.
Furthermore, Harold seems unable to grasp that, had he been born John Doe from Nowheresville, Minnesota, no-one would be interested in his life story, least of all Netflix. The institution he rails against is funding his Beverly Hills lifestyle.

mike otter
mike otter
1 year ago

I recall getting a lot of stick from the types that went along with Blairs “Princess of Hearts” because we had young kids under 11 at the time and thought it very wrong and also weird that Di was off clubbing and hanging around with the likes of Al Fayed, George Michael and Elton John with young kids at home. Harry clearly shares some of her issues – none too bright and easily led, plus he needs to learn “Drugs Are Bad” OK? Didn’t do Reg Dwight or Georgios Panayiotis(?) any good and i have heard the same about his mum through the West Heath alumni gossip mill.

mike otter
mike otter
1 year ago

I recall getting a lot of stick from the types that went along with Blairs “Princess of Hearts” because we had young kids under 11 at the time and thought it very wrong and also weird that Di was off clubbing and hanging around with the likes of Al Fayed, George Michael and Elton John with young kids at home. Harry clearly shares some of her issues – none too bright and easily led, plus he needs to learn “Drugs Are Bad” OK? Didn’t do Reg Dwight or Georgios Panayiotis(?) any good and i have heard the same about his mum through the West Heath alumni gossip mill.

Linda Hutchinson
Linda Hutchinson
1 year ago

I’ve really had enough of the Ginger Whinger; can we now stop?

Linda Hutchinson
Linda Hutchinson
1 year ago

I’ve really had enough of the Ginger Whinger; can we now stop?

Lucy Browne
Lucy Browne
1 year ago

This is the most perceptive piece I’ve read on the matter. Incisive and interesting writing from Mary as always.

Lucy Browne
Lucy Browne
1 year ago

This is the most perceptive piece I’ve read on the matter. Incisive and interesting writing from Mary as always.

Ben Shipley
Ben Shipley
1 year ago

Harry reads like a suicide, cutting his ties to everything that bound him to the living, before casting himself off into the ether. A desperately unhappy man.

Ben Shipley
Ben Shipley
1 year ago

Harry reads like a suicide, cutting his ties to everything that bound him to the living, before casting himself off into the ether. A desperately unhappy man.

Harry Bo
Harry Bo
1 year ago

‘(shall we say) below-average analytic capacity’

So, like his mum, thick as mince.

Harry Bo
Harry Bo
1 year ago

‘(shall we say) below-average analytic capacity’

So, like his mum, thick as mince.

Michelle Johnston
Michelle Johnston
1 year ago

This subject is unavoidable if you connect yourself in any way to media.
I switched on my smart TV in NZ to watch Yellowstone about a family that raises cattle in Montana and want to be left alone to do so and to my horror the preview channel came on and I am listening to Harry and the strange case of the beard.
In a microsecond it was obvious he has been schooled, whether he knows it or not, to mine exactly the same narrative as his mother. To offer the most unimportant issue imaginable as a dreadful example of bullying and subjugation. Anyone who has been in the forces will know, it was a very simple point – the beard that is.
He is not Diana. Her concerns about Camilla were entirely right.
Megan has therefore come along and tried to provide a narrative that matches that level of trauma for her husband. That she is Bi-Racial. To be honest when my late mother showed me photographs of Megan I assumed she was Latin possibly of Spanish heritage and thought nothing of it.
This Strawmanning of her heritage is so obviously contrived and if it wasn’t, would they not take all the loot and buy a farm in Montana and live happily ever after? Oddly enough much of the Royal Family are able to achieve that in Rural Gloucestershire because they genuinely want privacy when they are not cutting tape and digging holes. Mary is right but how this has worked is Megan has lit the flame under Harry of ‘double binding’ so he operates just as his mother did. If you were in Cirencester in the 90s Diana would look around to make sure she was being seen, Catherine has never played that game. I am channeling my mother on this but I believe Catherine has come in for criticism, criticism which feels entirely contrived given how she has behaved for decades now.

Last edited 1 year ago by Michelle Johnston
Michelle Johnston
Michelle Johnston
1 year ago

This subject is unavoidable if you connect yourself in any way to media.
I switched on my smart TV in NZ to watch Yellowstone about a family that raises cattle in Montana and want to be left alone to do so and to my horror the preview channel came on and I am listening to Harry and the strange case of the beard.
In a microsecond it was obvious he has been schooled, whether he knows it or not, to mine exactly the same narrative as his mother. To offer the most unimportant issue imaginable as a dreadful example of bullying and subjugation. Anyone who has been in the forces will know, it was a very simple point – the beard that is.
He is not Diana. Her concerns about Camilla were entirely right.
Megan has therefore come along and tried to provide a narrative that matches that level of trauma for her husband. That she is Bi-Racial. To be honest when my late mother showed me photographs of Megan I assumed she was Latin possibly of Spanish heritage and thought nothing of it.
This Strawmanning of her heritage is so obviously contrived and if it wasn’t, would they not take all the loot and buy a farm in Montana and live happily ever after? Oddly enough much of the Royal Family are able to achieve that in Rural Gloucestershire because they genuinely want privacy when they are not cutting tape and digging holes. Mary is right but how this has worked is Megan has lit the flame under Harry of ‘double binding’ so he operates just as his mother did. If you were in Cirencester in the 90s Diana would look around to make sure she was being seen, Catherine has never played that game. I am channeling my mother on this but I believe Catherine has come in for criticism, criticism which feels entirely contrived given how she has behaved for decades now.

Last edited 1 year ago by Michelle Johnston
John Solomon
John Solomon
1 year ago

I sometimes wonder if Harry’s aim is to outdo uncle Andrew in jaw-droppingly inept TV interviews.

John Solomon
John Solomon
1 year ago

I sometimes wonder if Harry’s aim is to outdo uncle Andrew in jaw-droppingly inept TV interviews.

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago

interesting take, however you completely leave out the dominating wife/mother who’s brought out his worst instincts and is manipulating them to her own ends. at the beginning of megxit he had wanted them to go to africa but anyone could see meghan would have none of that; had he married chelsy davey he might have had peace and contentment but his wife is an agent of destruction. also, his father who was obviously wracked with guilt and spoiled him rotten and still; even after all this, has invited them to the coronation. i too worry that he will not be able to cope if the marriage breaks down.

Last edited 1 year ago by Kat L
pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago
Reply to  Kat L

Quite. “Harry told Stephen Colbert: “The way that I look at it now, I was obsessed. I was specifically looking for stories about my wife so that I could educate myself on the opinions that were happening, and things that were being said, so that I could try to fix it.
“Now, for me, I have weaned myself off that, because I was slightly addicted to it. And now I have a digital diet. And as much I worry about what I put in my mouth, I worry about what I put through my eyes as well.
“And my life is so much better for it.”
(Express). And why on earth is the media obsessed with the trivialities? It did look like that (=H modifying his story according to what the responses are even before the ‘escape’), everything to glorify her. Why all this furore? The glee of ‘even them’ (Royals)!? And his whining about structure and diaries and restrictions – even a most modest schoolteacher has her schedule to keep and expectations on how to behave or where to go and with whom to party.

Jacquie Watson
Jacquie Watson
1 year ago
Reply to  Kat L

It is an interesting take. But, since when is harry the self appointed therapist for every member of his family, as he profers up diagnosis and advice but doesn’t take his own medicine.What qualifies him to give this advice and comment – being a complete psychotic? He still expects the benefits of the job that he no longer wants, I thought he quit, yet here he is knee deep in its citicism. Leave give up the title and go away and do a real bit of work mate, that will make a man of you. I don’t feel sorry for the man, he EXPECTS and DEMANDS all the attention while whining about how it treats him. He went to the US to leave it didn’t he?? Yet ever since day 1 has done nothing else but deliberately TALK to his torturers and share intimate details of his life and that of his Family (in his opinion though). He’s got a very bad case of Stockholm syndrome. And a mighty bad attitude.

pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago
Reply to  Kat L

Quite. “Harry told Stephen Colbert: “The way that I look at it now, I was obsessed. I was specifically looking for stories about my wife so that I could educate myself on the opinions that were happening, and things that were being said, so that I could try to fix it.
“Now, for me, I have weaned myself off that, because I was slightly addicted to it. And now I have a digital diet. And as much I worry about what I put in my mouth, I worry about what I put through my eyes as well.
“And my life is so much better for it.”
(Express). And why on earth is the media obsessed with the trivialities? It did look like that (=H modifying his story according to what the responses are even before the ‘escape’), everything to glorify her. Why all this furore? The glee of ‘even them’ (Royals)!? And his whining about structure and diaries and restrictions – even a most modest schoolteacher has her schedule to keep and expectations on how to behave or where to go and with whom to party.

Jacquie Watson
Jacquie Watson
1 year ago
Reply to  Kat L

It is an interesting take. But, since when is harry the self appointed therapist for every member of his family, as he profers up diagnosis and advice but doesn’t take his own medicine.What qualifies him to give this advice and comment – being a complete psychotic? He still expects the benefits of the job that he no longer wants, I thought he quit, yet here he is knee deep in its citicism. Leave give up the title and go away and do a real bit of work mate, that will make a man of you. I don’t feel sorry for the man, he EXPECTS and DEMANDS all the attention while whining about how it treats him. He went to the US to leave it didn’t he?? Yet ever since day 1 has done nothing else but deliberately TALK to his torturers and share intimate details of his life and that of his Family (in his opinion though). He’s got a very bad case of Stockholm syndrome. And a mighty bad attitude.

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago

interesting take, however you completely leave out the dominating wife/mother who’s brought out his worst instincts and is manipulating them to her own ends. at the beginning of megxit he had wanted them to go to africa but anyone could see meghan would have none of that; had he married chelsy davey he might have had peace and contentment but his wife is an agent of destruction. also, his father who was obviously wracked with guilt and spoiled him rotten and still; even after all this, has invited them to the coronation. i too worry that he will not be able to cope if the marriage breaks down.

Last edited 1 year ago by Kat L
E. L. Herndon
E. L. Herndon
1 year ago

A pity, having lost his mother at a tender age, the Spare was not fostered out to the Princess Royal. I suspect his life might have been more satisfying and direct with her resolutely dutiful existence before him. Self-rusticatiion, a custom sanctified by antiquity, might still save him, and couldn’t harm the sprogs. But I doubt the Mrs. would be on board.

E. L. Herndon
E. L. Herndon
1 year ago

A pity, having lost his mother at a tender age, the Spare was not fostered out to the Princess Royal. I suspect his life might have been more satisfying and direct with her resolutely dutiful existence before him. Self-rusticatiion, a custom sanctified by antiquity, might still save him, and couldn’t harm the sprogs. But I doubt the Mrs. would be on board.

Alix Nathan
Alix Nathan
1 year ago

Excellent piece as ever from Mary Harrington.

Alix Nathan
Alix Nathan
1 year ago

Excellent piece as ever from Mary Harrington.

Diane Theobald
Diane Theobald
1 year ago

“The cumulative impression is of someone who put his own personality into storage, and bought a replacement one in IKEA.”

An amusing analogy. I’d wager, though that if Harry had had better psychological help to manage his emotions and the trauma of the harrowing death of his mother, as well as to subsequently grow a stronger and more resilient sense of self – even liking himself a little more – he might have developed that personality. Sadly he has entered into a Faustian pact with the modern social media and hyper- individualism whereby he has taken ownership of a flat-pack bargain basement one.

Mary’s final comment though caused an unpleasant and unwelcome thought to come to mind: the death of a tortured soul by his own hand. No more welcome than this; the fate that befell his mother, promulgated by his own fears, vulnerabilities and lack of self- awareness.

Diane Theobald
Diane Theobald
1 year ago

“The cumulative impression is of someone who put his own personality into storage, and bought a replacement one in IKEA.”

An amusing analogy. I’d wager, though that if Harry had had better psychological help to manage his emotions and the trauma of the harrowing death of his mother, as well as to subsequently grow a stronger and more resilient sense of self – even liking himself a little more – he might have developed that personality. Sadly he has entered into a Faustian pact with the modern social media and hyper- individualism whereby he has taken ownership of a flat-pack bargain basement one.

Mary’s final comment though caused an unpleasant and unwelcome thought to come to mind: the death of a tortured soul by his own hand. No more welcome than this; the fate that befell his mother, promulgated by his own fears, vulnerabilities and lack of self- awareness.

Ethniciodo Rodenydo
Ethniciodo Rodenydo
1 year ago

I blame the father whoever he is

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago

well actually both their fathers spoiled them rotten. she treated her own father abominably don’t forget. harry doesn’t look like hewitt he looks exactly like a ginger Charles at that age.

Kat L
Kat L
1 year ago

well actually both their fathers spoiled them rotten. she treated her own father abominably don’t forget. harry doesn’t look like hewitt he looks exactly like a ginger Charles at that age.

Ethniciodo Rodenydo
Ethniciodo Rodenydo
1 year ago

I blame the father whoever he is

Lesley van Reenen
Lesley van Reenen
1 year ago

Brilliant article and nuances teased out and captured so well by Mary. I really don’t think I can stomach reading this, even though the ghostwriter JR Boehringer is masterful. I have read Open and Shoe Dog. Not this one.

Lesley van Reenen
Lesley van Reenen
1 year ago

Brilliant article and nuances teased out and captured so well by Mary. I really don’t think I can stomach reading this, even though the ghostwriter JR Boehringer is masterful. I have read Open and Shoe Dog. Not this one.

Michael Friedman
Michael Friedman
1 year ago

A brilliant piece

Michael Friedman
Michael Friedman
1 year ago

A brilliant piece

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

One interesting new fact I learnt from this was that Harry had been offered a “job” as the Governor General of Bermuda.
I can tolerate the royal family. But I don’t see we have to put up with this sort of nonsense in the twenty first century. If this is a real job, it needs to be advertised and open to competition and not handed out to some random who may or may not be suited to such a role (with the suitability never to be tested or better alternatives considered).
The royal family are going to have to stop indulging in this sort of stuff if they expect to survive the twenty first century.

Peter B
Peter B
1 year ago

One interesting new fact I learnt from this was that Harry had been offered a “job” as the Governor General of Bermuda.
I can tolerate the royal family. But I don’t see we have to put up with this sort of nonsense in the twenty first century. If this is a real job, it needs to be advertised and open to competition and not handed out to some random who may or may not be suited to such a role (with the suitability never to be tested or better alternatives considered).
The royal family are going to have to stop indulging in this sort of stuff if they expect to survive the twenty first century.

Don Holden
Don Holden
1 year ago

Some advice for Harry from an old East Ender, “ Don’t be a **** all your life – have a day off !

Don Holden
Don Holden
1 year ago

Some advice for Harry from an old East Ender, “ Don’t be a **** all your life – have a day off !

Ted Ditchburn
Ted Ditchburn
1 year ago

I just see an easily manipulated person being manipulated by a manipulative person.
Meghan has created her own truth, ie a bunch of lies, about how Britain is a racist place, full of racists as an excuse to get her golden goose off to America to start laying golden eggs for her right at the moment when the Crown fictional series has deepened American interest in the British royal family.
She doesn’t car about Britain or what Brits who actually welcomed her to the country with very open arms think.
Everything is calibrated to feeding the American TV and Print market as it is where the big money is.
She’s just a new age Rupert Murdoch, and he’s as dim as a 10 watt lightbulb.

Ted Ditchburn
Ted Ditchburn
1 year ago

I just see an easily manipulated person being manipulated by a manipulative person.
Meghan has created her own truth, ie a bunch of lies, about how Britain is a racist place, full of racists as an excuse to get her golden goose off to America to start laying golden eggs for her right at the moment when the Crown fictional series has deepened American interest in the British royal family.
She doesn’t car about Britain or what Brits who actually welcomed her to the country with very open arms think.
Everything is calibrated to feeding the American TV and Print market as it is where the big money is.
She’s just a new age Rupert Murdoch, and he’s as dim as a 10 watt lightbulb.

Denise Ward
Denise Ward
1 year ago

I would say, having witnessed the sheer brutality of upper class blood sports many times (the Beaufort fox hunt, close to the royal family), that maybe Harry’s experience of being trained to shoot a stag then having his face pushed into its slit stomach (a blooding), reveals how his particular background mitigates against emotional cohesion and stunts empathy. He relates this incident in the book without any shade of recognition of the horror that many people reading the account will feel. As a young man he also accompanied the ‘terrier men’ of the hunt, they are the men who commit the most brutal acts on foxes to facilitate the chase. Being in the army and killing people would follow on, as is tradition with our upper classes who send their male offspring to public schools that distort their personalities and atrophy their emotions. He does not seem naturally equipped to really break out of his background and maybe cannot connote his pain other than in an apparently self indulgent narrative ghosted by others.

Stoater D
Stoater D
1 year ago
Reply to  Denise Ward

So you are a hunt sabouteur ?
Do you protest against Halal and Kosher slaughter ?
I guess not.

Denise Ward
Denise Ward
1 year ago
Reply to  Stoater D

In fact I support organisations that do.

Denise Ward
Denise Ward
1 year ago
Reply to  Stoater D

In fact I support organisations that do.

Stoater D
Stoater D
1 year ago
Reply to  Denise Ward

So you are a hunt sabouteur ?
Do you protest against Halal and Kosher slaughter ?
I guess not.

Denise Ward
Denise Ward
1 year ago

I would say, having witnessed the sheer brutality of upper class blood sports many times (the Beaufort fox hunt, close to the royal family), that maybe Harry’s experience of being trained to shoot a stag then having his face pushed into its slit stomach (a blooding), reveals how his particular background mitigates against emotional cohesion and stunts empathy. He relates this incident in the book without any shade of recognition of the horror that many people reading the account will feel. As a young man he also accompanied the ‘terrier men’ of the hunt, they are the men who commit the most brutal acts on foxes to facilitate the chase. Being in the army and killing people would follow on, as is tradition with our upper classes who send their male offspring to public schools that distort their personalities and atrophy their emotions. He does not seem naturally equipped to really break out of his background and maybe cannot connote his pain other than in an apparently self indulgent narrative ghosted by others.

David Ryan
David Ryan
1 year ago

We need to stop obsessing about this guy and his wife. Unherd has had three articles on him in the last three days – a couple too many in my opinion. There are more important things going on in the world.

David Ryan
David Ryan
1 year ago

We need to stop obsessing about this guy and his wife. Unherd has had three articles on him in the last three days – a couple too many in my opinion. There are more important things going on in the world.

Peter Lucey
Peter Lucey
1 year ago

Deleted

Last edited 1 year ago by Peter Lucey
Peter Lucey
Peter Lucey
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Lucey

Sorry about removing my own comment. It was a reference to Peter Cook’s Greta Garbo sketch – on reflection it was’nt appropriate. Maybe Harry is more unhappy than a publicity hound. His book is sad but he, and his brother of course, have suffered.

pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Lucey

Well, not so sure about the ‘of course’. For me, the “If Spare is at all accurate, …” stood out of the article. After all, it’s Harry’s ‘truth’ – his interpretation of what happened, up to declaring what other people must have felt (in his view, and of course explanations on why M is blameless). Who saw red mist and who came for a battle. The rest is the ‘twisted words’ of his (mostly by British media). It’s stunning how many people have felt the need to publicly protest – even the tailor to the little girls’ dresses (and even there, we get to know from him that actually all the dresses needed to be fitted, not only Kate’s daughter’s one!). And of course he meant well by mentioning the kill count, which has been twisted again and therefore caused harm to him&Co. He really seems to see people, all people, as chess pawns to be mentioned carelessly without any thought of the consequenses. For if not him, then someone of the team must have been aware of it.
Edited to add after the original remark being removed: “the not so sure about the ‘of course’.” was about everyone of course feeling sorry for H.

Last edited 1 year ago by pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago

Having been at the receiving end of ‘a truth’ by a person, nowhere near the league of princes, though, the pattern of the behaviour is baffling: a start with a distorted interpretation followed by more and more words modified to ‘prove’ the person is, was and will be right and noble and above others in every respect. Who cares that the facts of real life differ from the modified ones. Is there a ‘label’ to the pattern? – probably.

Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago

Narcissism I think, a self absorbtion so profound they cannot see beyond it, often as a result of an inherited tendency + trauma in childhood. I’m not an expert but I’m guessing that minus the trauma what you get is simply a rather more selfish person than usual.

pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Could be. In our case the person was a sociopath – but of course most people who knew that are polite and won’t say anything before the person filters in your circle/group/workspace – after all, a man could change, at least theoretically? and who would risk being accused of libel? Especially as they are extremely impressive until they don’t get what they want. So, only afterwards you hear – he was like that before, and more than once.
Can’t say anything about the motives of the Prince, of course, without my ‘lived experience’ of the circumstances.

pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago
Reply to  Claire D

Could be. In our case the person was a sociopath – but of course most people who knew that are polite and won’t say anything before the person filters in your circle/group/workspace – after all, a man could change, at least theoretically? and who would risk being accused of libel? Especially as they are extremely impressive until they don’t get what they want. So, only afterwards you hear – he was like that before, and more than once.
Can’t say anything about the motives of the Prince, of course, without my ‘lived experience’ of the circumstances.

Claire D
Claire D
1 year ago

Narcissism I think, a self absorbtion so profound they cannot see beyond it, often as a result of an inherited tendency + trauma in childhood. I’m not an expert but I’m guessing that minus the trauma what you get is simply a rather more selfish person than usual.

pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago

Having been at the receiving end of ‘a truth’ by a person, nowhere near the league of princes, though, the pattern of the behaviour is baffling: a start with a distorted interpretation followed by more and more words modified to ‘prove’ the person is, was and will be right and noble and above others in every respect. Who cares that the facts of real life differ from the modified ones. Is there a ‘label’ to the pattern? – probably.

Peter Lucey
Peter Lucey
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Lucey

Sorry about removing my own comment. It was a reference to Peter Cook’s Greta Garbo sketch – on reflection it was’nt appropriate. Maybe Harry is more unhappy than a publicity hound. His book is sad but he, and his brother of course, have suffered.

pessimist extremus
pessimist extremus
1 year ago
Reply to  Peter Lucey

Well, not so sure about the ‘of course’. For me, the “If Spare is at all accurate, …” stood out of the article. After all, it’s Harry’s ‘truth’ – his interpretation of what happened, up to declaring what other people must have felt (in his view, and of course explanations on why M is blameless). Who saw red mist and who came for a battle. The rest is the ‘twisted words’ of his (mostly by British media). It’s stunning how many people have felt the need to publicly protest – even the tailor to the little girls’ dresses (and even there, we get to know from him that actually all the dresses needed to be fitted, not only Kate’s daughter’s one!). And of course he meant well by mentioning the kill count, which has been twisted again and therefore caused harm to him&Co. He really seems to see people, all people, as chess pawns to be mentioned carelessly without any thought of the consequenses. For if not him, then someone of the team must have been aware of it.
Edited to add after the original remark being removed: “the not so sure about the ‘of course’.” was about everyone of course feeling sorry for H.

Last edited 1 year ago by pessimist extremus
Peter Lucey
Peter Lucey
1 year ago

Deleted

Last edited 1 year ago by Peter Lucey
Alan Hinkley
Alan Hinkley
1 year ago

Mary’s essay is timely for me. In recent days,Harry’s relentless, unstoppable confessions, with their craving for understanding on his own terms, have strongly reminded me of Princess Diana, his mother, when she was on the French Riviera with Dodi Fayed, courting the media and trying to escape the paparazzi at the same time. This brought home to me the possibility/likelihood that Harry has now come to the same emotional place and that he is therefore in danger. I felt Diana had a death wish in her days on the French Riviera. I hope someone is keeping Harry safe. His conduct shows his difficulty in doing that for himself.

LCarey Rowland
LCarey Rowland
1 year ago

I was relieved to see that you did manage to express compassion for Harry, delicate soul that he is.
Harry’s great grandfather, George VI, was also a spare. But his fateful placement in the scheme of things landed him in close partnership with Churchill during the most perilous period of English history.
It is likely that Harry’s odd-man-out position in the royal pecking order will afford him, eventually, a quite unique mantle in the future of our planet.
I could see Harry calming down in a few years, maturing, making peace with his lot in the world, which is, when you get right down to it, not a bad way for a young man to enter into civilization. I could see Harry accepting the mantle of responsibility for boosting actual progress in the realm of environmental protection and green conservation.
Harry’s military experience will lend credibility to his youthfully-budding leadership.
From a firm foothold in Lesotho or some similar outback, Harry could change the world, if he is willing to put his mind to it.
But you have to admit that the tragic dismissal of Diana–and her tragic end–is no small scourge for a young man to endure before getting his feet planted firmly on the ground.
If Shakespeare were alive today, he would write a play about Harry. On the other hand, Harry may have already written it. Spare may just need some dramatic stratford-on-Avon-type tweaking to render his unique dilemma as metamorphosed into a classic of English literature and drama!
Out, damned spot! came the cry from a Paris tunnel. Alas, poor Windsors, we knew them well. . . too well.

Phillip Arundel
Phillip Arundel
1 year ago

Man, that was painfull to read – first it is about Harry, and that is a subject I find repulsive the way it has sucked the information out of the ‘News’ by filling it with him and his wife in a world where almost no one knows what is going on because this dross has taken over.

But then pages of Cod-Psycology about a celebrity – I mean, if you want to write clumsy and obvious bits psychoanalyzing it is just going to be silly. Batting a few low hanging fruit around – it is pretty bad. But I read it grimly as it was Mary having written it, and she can have some good bits to read – but this? No.