John Bercow, amateur tennis player (Photo credit should read TOLGA AKMEN/AFP via Getty Images)
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Last year I had the pleasure of reading John Bercow’s memoirs, the appropriately titled Unspeakable. It is, to be fair to the former House of Commons Speaker, a remarkable book, if only for the things it revealed about him; his vindictiveness, his spite, his preening vanity and his curious tendency to tell the truth only when left with no other option. Indeed, so ghastly was his self-portrait that it left me wondering: how long until he tries to force his way back?
Suffice it to say, then, that Bercow’s brief re-emergence into public view this week hardly came as a surprise. It all started on Sunday, when he told the Observer that he had joined the Labour Party. The story made the newspaper’s front page, even though his transfer of allegiance was hardly a surprise. Personally, I had expected it to happen 14 years ago, in June 2007.
That was when the news broke that a Conservative MP had been so enamoured and enthused by the prospect of Gordon Brown’s move from Number 11 to Number 10 Downing Street that he had chosen to cross the floor of the House.
The minute I heard the news I assumed it must be the then MP for Buckingham, John Bercow — a man who had already adopted the most ingratiating manner imaginable whenever he spoke across the Commons floor from the government of Tony Blair. He oozed and schmoozed and exuded a pseudo-charm devoid of wit and without much discernible purpose.
On that occasion, however, the Conservative MP who crossed the floor was Quentin Davies. John Bercow had missed his chance. Or so it seemed.
Why would a former member of the Monday Club give it all up to join a beleaguered Labour Party? The most plausible reason is, as so often, a personal one.
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SubscribeAh, this made me laugh. What a ridiculous man Bercow is, though I’m slightly surprised he didn’t mention his Bronze Swimming Certificate and that he passed his Cycling Proficiency Test on only his second attempt.
You forgot to mention his position of Chairman, for life, of the John Bercow appreciation society. Membership, one.
Brilliant! Sharon it’s comments like this that make me really really hope you change your mind about leaving UnHerd.
And his exhaustive acting career: Time Bandits, Willow, The Hobbit, Snow White et al.
“But only John Bercow, in the full flight of his seriousness, would imagine that what the Lords needs is an amateur tennis coach.”
Your pen is mightier than the sword and I love it!
That sentence will keep me smiling all day….
Ludo, i read that twice myself.
😉
No-one does a skilful and funny takedown better than Douglas Murray and this was as ever, a joy to read.
I wish we had someone of his calibre here in South Africa, but it would be wasted – like shooting fish in a barrel, despite the rich pickings.
I don’t understand why there is so much mockery of Bercow qualifying as a tennis coach. That is an astonishing achievement for a man who can’t see over the net.
You are a very bad man 🙂
Indeed. He’s perfectly able to see through the holes in the net.
Thank you, Mr Murray, for yet again putting into eloquent words the feelings of your readers.
Love the acid wit of this piece!
I hope John Bercow reads this!
He won’t! A) too scared b) he will never knowingly consider anything critical of himself.
How can this counry sink so that have both John Bercow and the Duke of Sussex at the ssme time?
“several times his own height”. Love it. Now that’s what I call social climbing!
Another great line of Douglas’s. If you want to see just when and how hyperbole can deal a needed blow, this is it.
“several times his height” XD
JB – The poor man’s Warwick Davies
He should have his own quiz show. Oh dear .. been there, done that
Excellent. So funny and so true. Thank you
Labour’s acceptance of this odious little creep shows that they have lost interest forever in appealing to the traditional voter base which remains their only hope of ever getting elected again.
He did propose the lynching of a black man ( Nelson Mandella) so he’s got more common with Labour than say, well, Nelson Mandella.
Like a modern day Jeffrey Archer without the charm – or the talent.
The book made my skin crawl, which is very rare. He is even more otiose and self- regarding than the authors of “The Third Man” (The autobiography, not Graham Greene’s book) and Mein Kampf. Small wonder he was still singing “Hang Nelson Mandella” in his 20s. He is a sign of the times – is there no standard anymore? He still wants to be something he’s not, and has learned no lessons whatever from his life.
Most entertaining – a very ‘small’ man indeed!
Love Bercow. Stood up for Parliamentary democracy. What a vituperative disingenuous piece of nonsense from Murray.
John Bercow is tedious like so many politicians, just as this rather silly article is.
Bet your fun
HUGE fun!!!!
Agreed.Personal attacks on a fine upstanding man like my mate John are unnecessary 🙂