Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov takes part in one of his favourite pastimes: riding. Credit: IGOR SASIN/AFP via Getty Images
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One of the things loser Bolsheviks did to console themselves as they hid out in exile was to perpetuate the myth that Stalin was a dull mediocrity. Trotsky was particularly scathing about Stalin’s record as a theorist. Whatever gets you through the night, I suppose — until there are no more nights, because you’ve got an ice pick in your brain.
Still, despite the fact that Stalin was a) obviously clever and b) highly successful as far as evil despots go, the idea that he was some kind of grey nonentity persisted for decades. And I think that we still have a habit of belittling tyrants and authoritarians. It makes us feel better whenever they run circles around us at some geopolitical game or other, which is quite often these days.
Take Putin, for instance. When he was first elected, a lot of coverage focused on this bland, faceless nonentity, an ex-KGB officer of middling rank leading a decrepit ex-superpower. They kept that up for a while, then switched to mocking him for posing shirtless. Next thing you know, he’s annexed the Crimea. Similarly, Gaddafi was barely coherent, yet he was pretty good at charming Blair and Mandelson — and might still be up waving his golden gun about if we hadn’t gone and dropped a pile of bombs on Libya.
Being a dictator is a difficult job, then, and those who succeed at it should not be underestimated. There is more going on behind those dead eyes than we think, even when they seem unhinged, weird or boring. Yet there is perhaps one exception, a dictator so profoundly mediocre that it would be difficult to underestimate him: Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, the leader of the ex-Soviet republic of Turkmenistan. Recently turned 63, he is a man without qualities, and even, it seems, a bit dim. However, 13 years into his reign he remains firmly in power. So how has he achieved this feat, and what can we learn from it?
Berdymukhamedov came to power in 2007, after his corpulent, megalomaniacal predecessor, Saparmurat Niyazov, dropped dead of a heart attack. Niyazov, a.k.a Turkmenbashi (“father of all Turkmen”) had become famous due to his extravagant personality cult. He literally renamed the month of January after himself, and renamed bread after his mother, while also authoring a truly atrocious “holy book” that he called The Ruhnama, or “book of the soul”.
That level of totalitarian excess is quite rare, and so it seemed that the Turkmen were due a break. Surely it was time for a normal dictator, less given to erecting gold statues of himself that rotated to face the sun?
At first Berdymukhamedov was very dull. A former dentist who had risen to the position of deputy prime minister, he was made interim president when Niyazov went to his eternal reward. This was in defiance of the constitution — the job should have gone to the speaker of parliament — so perhaps some powerful forces thought he would prove to be malleable. And Berdymukhamedov was cautious at first, making only vague statements about change, while adding that the country would walk rather than run.
Definitely a bit dull, then, and perhaps in more ways than one. Months later, I interviewed some Turkmen emigres in Moscow, and one of them said this to me:
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SubscribeHe doesn’t sound stupid to me. Rather bright, if dull. I doubt there’s such a thing as a stupid dentist, its a difficult qualification to attain. And he’s still running his country. He may be unpleasant – though less than many dictators that we have seen recently. But also sort of fun, if you must have a dictator, a singing one is better than one that machine guns his relatives
This summer I had planned to travel the Stan’s before the pandemia.
I didn’t include Turkmenistan in my plans, because visa are complicated and expensive.
Now this hilarious music videos are giving me some ideas.
To answer the article question: I don’t know if he is the worst, but he looks like he is enjoying life
beautiful horse.
Several commenters have reacted to this as if it were a fluff piece for how charmingly simple and fun Berdymukhamedov is.. I think the article needed at least a couple grim realities about life under the oppression of his regime.
Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov – crazy name, crazy guy
I was struck by the ending of his first name which reminded me of Sourav Ganguly, the Indian cricketer. I would say, there is an Indian tie-up somewhere.
For a dictator he sounds fairly benign.
You didn’t give any details about the repression people are having to live with, and as you state emigres are almost always critical of the countries they have left.
Different styles of government suit different places and cultures. None are perfect. Ours certainly isn’t but it suits us better than any other. Maybe a dull dictator suits Turkmenistan.
Intelligence is overrated. There are a lot of intelligent people in this country – or, at least, people who believe themselves to be intelligent – who continually do very stupid things.
Better to be cunning I find.
With barely a glance at the headline and the accompanying image of a guy on a horse, four paragraphs into this article I was still convinced it was about our friend in the Oval Office. Having disabused myself , I was amused that substituting Trump for Berdymukhamedov would not be overly incongruous. (Looking again, I can now see that, at a glance, the horseman’s headgear must have appeared to me like a wierd toupé!
I don’t believe that Trump can sing, I doubt he even knows what singing is for. I do not think he can ride a horse either, I bet he does not understand them. And mostly he does not seem to enjoy anything at all, except humiliating people with scorn. I may lack imagination, but I do not see how this is very enjoyable even when you are really good at it. That may explain his bad temper and his tanTrumps.