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July 20, 2024 - 1:00pm
On Thursday the bereaved mother of Jay Slater, the teenager whose disappearance in Tenerife made headlines across the world, updated the fundraising appeal launched to bring him home. When the grim news arrived, the focus of the crowdfunder turned from happy homecoming to a final goodbye; the boy’s mother Debbie Duncan urged people to continue donating and sharing to give her son “the send-off he deserves”. To date, the amount raised from well-wishers tops £66,000.
Grief is a disorientating and cruel process, particularly for those forced to endure it under public scrutiny, and as such Duncan’s actions are entirely understandable. More perplexing, though, is why so many members of the public continue to give large sums, despite the total far exceeding ordinary repatriation and funeral costs.
In this, the “Get Jay Slater Home” donors are not alone: a crowdfunder set up for the families of the victims in the immediate aftermath of the deadly shooting at the Trump rally in Pennsylvania initially sought to raise $1 million. But, galvanised by a national sense of shock and anger, not to mention good ol’ American patriotism, as of Friday $6 million had poured in. However, as with so many of these crowdfunders, it is unclear exactly how the fund will be administered or what the practical benefits will be.
The urge to “do something” in response to moving national stories might be well-intentioned, but it can be counterproductive. In 1966, when news of the Aberfan disaster broke, visitors flocked to the Welsh village to help, severely hampering the rescue and clear-up operation in the process. More than three decades afterwards, residents of the town of Soham — home to murdered schoolgirls Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman — pleaded in the national press for an end to the day trips from “well-wishers” who wanted to sign the condolences book at the parish church and leave gifts. There were so many coaches arriving in the small Cambridgeshire town that local roads became gridlocked.
In the most charitable light, such emotional outpourings can be seen as a healthy desire to show solidarity with strangers. A more cynical reading might place such gestures as a form of parasitical, and ultimately selfish, grief tourism.
Today, as consumers who are both pulled apart and drawn together by technology, the knee-jerk reaction to high-profile tragedies is to start crowdfunders and give money. Whereas most of us living in towns and cities are accustomed to walk past beggars in the street, when the request is digitised we dip into our online wallets quickly enough. It seems online culture has simultaneously stripped the shame from begging and increased our propensity to give to any good cause that heaves into view. There is now little stigma to either demanding or donating money, nor to tapping into the need for connection.
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More disturbing to me is why such stories galvanise such large audiences in the first place. This country in general has a very odd and cynical preoccupation with tragedies involving ordinary people and, as far as I can tell, it is largely a British phenomenon.
I am not sure what the cause is but if I had to suspect I would look at the grip the tabloid media had on the UK for near enough a century – still does, just less so. Brits have a very tabloid mindset when it comes to these sorts of tragedies, there is very little sympathy for the victim, very little respect for those grieving and a whole lot of gossiping, conspiracy mongering and conclusion leaps. My reaction to such tragedies is a tut followed by “such a shame”, but it seems for a considerable number of people it instantly turns into entertainment, like some Netflix crime-drama.
Britain was a ‘nation of shopkeepers’ but now it’s a nation of gossiping weirdos.
All your observations while true, are common to human nature everywhere. “Gossiping weirdos” are the baseline. I offer you the church busybody as a prime example.
Gotta say, I didn’t understand your comment. In what way are gossips (basically everybody) and church-busybodies (people who raise money for the poor children of the Upper Volta, a charity with no upper limit as a target), connected to a GoFundMe account for a single individual that has long overshot its target and with no possible (good) use for the additional money in sight? It seems to me you’ve tethered together three groups (gossiping weirdos, church-busybodies and GoFundMe parasites) for no other reason than you look down on all of them.
Chilblain didn’t mention GoFundMe parasites. I think he was simply observing human nature!
My reaction is “Oh dear, how sad never mind” particularly when the deceased “angel” entertained himself when he was alive by attacking other youths with a machete.
No doubt the excess funds will go to a worthy cause!!
My impression also is this seems to be more of a British thing.
What has he ever done to deserve a big send-off, and why must we all pay for it?
The “big send-off” is for the living and does nothing for the dead.
Without disrespect to him nor his family, he has become a “hero” in the eyes of the tabloids. A pox on Murdoch(s).
You haven’t got to pay for it, nobody is making you
Ooh! Knockout remark. I am impressed.
Always nice when someone raises a sensible but unfashionable objection.
I have always thought it weird that people parachute out of planes, cycle across France or even pour buckets of water over their heads ‘for charity’. Why not, I don’t know, do something useful like work overtime and donate your extra wages to your cause? Or maybe mow an old lady’s lawn or carry her shopping home ‘for charity’. Why do people always choose to do something either fun or utterly pointless, like shaving your head, when raising money for charity?
If they did what you are suggesting few people would know and there’d be little virtue involved. Virtue can be a remarkable emotion for a certain people. Don’t get it myself, but there you go.
Agreed. Better to sponsor someone doing something charitable rather than self-indulgently running, walking or biking. Cut out the middle man.
It the “awareness” charities that get me, raising money to raise awareness. I worked with a guy who dyed his hair pink to raise awareness for cancer… he raised a tenner and I pointed out it’s because everyone has heard of cancer.
Surely you realise that they’re “raising awareness”?
Looks like we need a fund to teach Ms Bartosch, and such sub-editors as are still employed by UhHerd, the tenses of the verb “to heave.”
Also, I’m not sure what the connection is between “grief tourists” who visit Soham and wherever and people who donate online from home.
Some rules [legislation] relating to Go Fund Mes as required, including a minimum of two people (not related to the person(s) for whom the money is being raised) to administer the fund, e.g., to see that in the case of a funeral or the repatriation of a body the funeral or repatriation expenses are paid as the donors would have wished. After the expenses have been paid, any funding left over should be returned to the donors.
If someone gives to a cause like this which has clearly raised enough funds for its intended purpose, people should not be prevented from donating should they choose to. There’s a bit of the “cavaet emptor” here.
Back in the day, when neighbors and friends offered to pray for others needs, they meant it. And then they also attended to real world needs.
When we had real communities versus digital, you walked over to bring a covered dish so no one had to cook, took the laundry to the laundromat for them, sat down over a cup of coffee in silence if that was needed – because you knew your neighbors, you knew their needs
I think good hearted people are reacting to that impulse, to be of help, but other than throwing money at a situation, don’t know how. Do something good in your own community and offer it up in memory of this young man and his family.
Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord and may Your Perpetual Light shine upon him.
I’m all for contributing towards the legal costs of ordinary folk whom rich individuals/company’s etc are trying to intimidate or silence or fire.
I do fear that a need to be ‘part of’ something that’s in the news can lead to some errors of judgement. Leaving soft toys and cards at the scene of a tragedy is fair enough & understandable, I guess, but, when donating becomes a national craze, episodes such as the Major Tom fiasco follow.