Conservative American outlets may have been too quick to churn out headlines claiming a young Jewish woman had been “stabbed in the eye” at a Yale protest.

The student, according to her own account in The Free Press, had a headache and felt pressure where a Palestinian flag had hit her eye, but was otherwise “okay”. Nonetheless, the student went to the hospital at the recommendation of an EMT, where she reflected on her mother’s experience of having rocks thrown at her while living in Iran for being Jewish.

The whole affair is less evocative of the plight of Iranian Jews than it is of another recent Ivy League kerfuffle, in which multiple Columbia protesters were hospitalised following an alleged chemical attack. In reality, it was a foul prank involving a fart spray called “Liquid Ass”. Martyrs, all.