Haven’t you heard? Prostitution is empowering. Liberated super-vixen and self-described feminist Lily Phillips, 23, has declared she is to embark on the sticky Sisyphean task of bedding 1,000 men in one day. Other OnlyFans “models” — a tellingly bashful euphemism — have tried to drive engagement in an arms race of headline-grabbing stunts. One woman claimed to have slept with, and destroyed the marriage of, Tommy Fury; another, camgirl Bonnie Blue, boasted of taking the virginities of scores of freshers in a matter of hours. “Parents should be thanking me,” she told the Daily Mail.
The latter story sent ripples through my friendship group; we were horrified by Blue’s ragebait provocations that all men should cheat unless their girlfriends are “treating them every day”. Blue, a former escort, has made millions filming encounters with married men for her OnlyFans, and her star rose when she turned on the disgruntled girlfriends of her punters, whom she called, flatly, “lazy”. It is for these statements, calculated not to arouse men but to annoy women, that she is famous.
Elsewhere in the dystopian sex-positivity scene we read a viral account of Twitter-famous “whorelord” Aella’s birthday party — a factory-style line-up of 42 strangers rewarded for their participation in an orgy with a physical badge of honour (it reads “I went to Aella’s birthday gangbang and all I got was this crappy sticker”). In order to keep these scores of presumably deeply weird men entertained, a group of “fluffers… were strewn about, lying on fuckbenches”; after seeing to the birthday girl, the blokes could “continue banging” the fluffers.
Great. What’s wrong with that? Don’t you know it’s illiberal to object to the fact that many women, from privileged artists (Lily Allen, Kate Nash) to normal if naive teenaged girls, have so deeply drunk the kool-aid of neoliberal feminism that it is somehow empowering, rather than the most degrading thing imaginable, to be sold in any capacity to men? Or to recoil from the bleak spectacle of a methodical orgy in which anonymous pervs can waddle over to a woman sat on a bench whose only function is to fuck them?
It takes little consideration to see that these latest additions to the ancient and undying canon of prostitute-lore — from Mary Magdalene to Fantine to Pretty Woman — are yet more slanted apparitions, this time not icons of feminist victory but promotional material for feet pics. Internet virality and atrophying feminism have collided — and the result is more of the same.
Because of just how hot being a sex worker is right now, we’re obsessed with reading about it. The pseudonymous Eve Smith’s How Was It For You?, released this summer, is a bracingly matter-of-fact account of a prostitute’s progress; in it, we are told that the only “type of man” who does not visit brothels are those who “buy you half a shandy on a date at the pub and expect to get into your knickers”. We are laughing at this man not because he sees sex as transactional, but because he is not willing to pay enough for it. How desolate. Elsewhere, Smith brushes away critics’ horror by saying her colleagues are merely “grinding to buy food, to pay rent, to support our kids”; “we can’t rely on men,” she writes, though by definition she has chosen by her own account to do precisely that. The great target of her ire is not the clients who endanger her so much that she must hide weapons “around my dungeon”, or the difficult childhood which sets the scene for her entry into brothel-work, but the “liberal, middle-class white woman with a moralistic agenda”, the radical feminists who pity her. This is understandable; their concern undermines her entire way of life, and so must be infuriating.
‘ “buy you half a shandy on a date at the pub and expect to get into your knickers”. We are laughing at this man not because he sees sex as transactional, but because he is not willing to pay enough for it.’
Doesn’t this demonstrate that it’s the wpman that sees sex as transactional? The shandy-buying man clearly doesn’t realise it is a transaction, otherwise he’d make a more realistic offer, and the female clearly defines the potential of the male by what he is prepared to pay.
Reminds me of the Oscar Wilde story.
Wilde was seated next to an elegant lady at a dinner party. The conversation became animated and contesting, and Wilde asked the women if she would go to bed with him for one million pounds.
The woman was flustered, but upon consideration said Yes, she probably would.
Wilde then asked if she would go to bed with him for five shillings.
The woman exclaimed indignantly, “Of course not! What kind of woman do you think I am?”
Wilde replied: “We’ve already established that, madam. Now we’re just haggling over the price.”
Social media has supercharged Ancient Rome…. there’s nothing new under the sun.
I was thinking the same thing – this really is last-days-of-Rome stuff.
The term “feminism” seems to be morphing online. It is now used, both for and against, in a way that older generations simply don’t recognise. What it now seems to mean is “I (as a woman) can do whatever I like, and F you”. Where “you” is ostensibly “the patriarchy” but in reality means any social control or moral opinion whatever.
So being a feminist means having a high body count, doing OF, getting plastic surgery, objectifying yourself on instagram, chasing money by any means etc. If your aim is to liberate, then I guess you can’t complain about how the liberated then behave – but some of the original feminists must be turning in their graves.
I’m not quite sure what this means. Surely the central fact of prostitution is that consent can be bought (and sold). That might be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t make it a lie. The author states this and then doesn’t seem to go anywhere with it.
I would suggest there may more growth in the prostitution sector as real world relationships get further out of reach for most.
If you’re interested in a TV series about prostitution that is neither moralistic nor naively idealistic (yes, I’m looking at you “Pretty Woman”), I strongly recommend “The Deuce” starring Maggie Gyllenhaal. She should have received an Oscar for that performance.
Oscars are for film performances, probably why she didn’t win
A little aside on “pretty woman”: the original script was about women turning to prostitution in the city because asset strippers had destroyed the industries in their home towns. A serious idea turned into fairy tale twaddle for its audience.
Though the murder rate in the U.K. is extremely low in any case, and especially low for women, so this really isn’t the shock, horror it appears to be. And what other profession would you expect to be higher?
I too struggle with the idea that Prostitution is the most dangerous ‘profession’, even in its own terms. Your post made me look into it.
Now. without in any way making light of the proposed statistic, murder being a crime without equal, there are around 28 prostitutes murdered a year in the UK.
By comparison there are around 50 deaths a year in the construction industry as well as over 60,000 non-fatal injuries
However, if we are to go further and borrow the spirit and tendency of the original polemical point then, equally, the Drug Trade could be included in the mortality statistics as an allied ‘profession’.
Current mortality in the Drug Dealing Profession, on both sides of the exchange, currently stands at around 4500 souls a year in the UK. Excluding accidental overdoses HMG estimates over 700 ‘homicides’ a year are linked to that particular ‘profession’.
Almost 30 times more Drug Dealers are murdered every year than Prostitutes.
But how many drug dealers are women? And what proportion of drug dealers murdered are women?
One imagines its a low percentage (though I confess I don’t know). Women being more vulnerable to physical violence from their desperate male clients.
Shock horror! You empower a section of the community and they do what they choose regardless of what you expected or wanted.
Guys: Now YOU can be Solomon and bed 1,000 women!
Ladies: Now YOUR face can launch a 1,000 ships toward mortal peril!
True, 999 potential partners for life-long love will go without, but hey….
Before I go on I am firmly against prostitution. However, the link to prostitution being the mot dangerous profession is behind a pay wall. Also the blurb says that the study is specifically eliding on-work and non-work related homicides of prostitutes so I’m not sure this is the best argument for the case.
So might include drug overdoses etc
She sure knows how to dress. Everything covered and still appearing naked.
These thoughts have been echoed in wider conservative and even some feminist circles. Nothing new here.
The young woman who 100 sexual partners in a day looked broken afterwards, an emotional mess. She talked about not wanting to let people down. When asked how she felt, she couldn’t identify the feeling and cried; I suspect she felt violated. She is now going for 1000 in 24 hours. Her team thought it was great fun and a very successful event telling men who felt they hadn’t performed well they could have another go. In another interview, she didn’t really seem to understand how AIDS transmitted. It all seemed very sad.
Could I just say that prostitution is an occupation, not a profession.