After Tuesday’s outburst, came the silence. (Rosie Duffield)
![](https://unherd.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Rosie_Duffield_UnHerd-100x100.jpg)
Domestic abuse is about control and power and silencing someone. It can take many forms. A text. A glance. A threat disguised as a promise. The idea is to manipulate you; to paralyse you.
I have lived through an abusive relationship and have spoken about it in Parliament. I was reminded of making that speech earlier this week — the daily trauma that inspired it, how hard it was to make and, afterwards, the overwhelming support of my colleagues. That was the Labour Party I joined.
On Tuesday, when two of those colleagues traded that sympathy for aggression, shouting down women in the Chamber, it felt like a very different Labour Party. I was defending the need to protect vulnerable women in single-sex spaces, and had just criticised Scotland’s Gender Reform Bill, when Ben Bradshaw yelled his disapproval at me. Sitting nearby, Lloyd Russell-Moyle went puce — perhaps less surprising — and started to heckle every woman who spoke of their similar concerns. Later, when Miriam Cates, a Conservative MP and friend, spoke of her concerns around safeguarding, he accused her of being a bigot before crossing over to the Tory side of the Chamber to sit on the side benches, very close to her, staring as if to intimidate her.
“I recognise that I failed to control [my] passion”, was how he later “apologised”. In other words, he had done nothing wrong. It wasn’t his fault; it was ours for daring to disagree with him. “Look what you made me do,” as my ex-partner would say when I had caused him to explode — perhaps by doing or wearing something he didn’t entirely like or voicing an opinion he didn’t want to hear.
After Tuesday’s outburst, came the silence. Not from Russell-Moyle, but from Keir Starmer’s office. It’s a cycle I’ve come to know well. First, speak up in defence of women’s sex-based rights. And then, face the consequences. Alone.
The only message I’ve had from the Party since the debate was from the Deputy Whips’ office yesterday — I was chastised for not attending a routine Statutory Instruments Committee sitting because… I was busy being shouted down by two Labour MPs and completely forgot. To be fair, Emily Thornberry, shadow Attorney General, did come out and say that the debate wasn’t “Labour’s finest hour”, before clarifying that this was because it distracted from “the most vulnerable in society, who are trans people”. Keir, meanwhile, said nothing. It was as if I didn’t exist — but, then, perhaps the Leader’s Office wishes I didn’t.
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SubscribeWhen liking a tweet produces death threats and a torrent of abuse, I am not sure that transgender people are the most vulnerable in society.
No, that was silly. More vulnerable than children, old people and those with disabilities?
It’s almost as though they think that, because they are ladies, or standing up for ‘ladies’, they are free to indulge the worst tropes of toxic masculinity.
Trans people may be ‘the most vulnerable people in society’, but there are vanishingly few of them.
Thornberry, Moyle and all the other metropolitan class leftists are just using them as a weapon in their endless war on Labour’s traditional base. It’s a useful distraction from their abject failure to develop policies to reform the housing market or deal with immigration or do anything that would help working people but alienate the public sector professionals they now exist to serve.
Spot on. And the conservatives are happy if Labour obsesses about silly nonsense if it loses them votes.
I’d also argue that particular assertion needs more than a little supporting evidence. Or are we going to forget about the homeless, seriously ill, etc.?
Yes. There is more wrong with the U.K. than culture war issues.
Trans people are NOT “the most vulnerable people in society” no matter how many people claim they are.
Labour clearly has a women problem. Women have never risen as high in the party as Tory women have with three Conservative PMs and trans ideology has not captured the Party as extensively as it has Labour. But a lot of Labour women have a Tory problem. They would prefer to stick with abusive Labour than admit that the current Conservative Party that pushes so many “progressive” ideas does actually represent their perceived interests more than the abusive Labour Party.
That said it is refreshing to have a Labour woman MP proclaim a friendship for Miriam Cates, a Tory MP that many in Labour might consider to be anathema.
(Amended with acknowledgements to Richard Craven, David B and Jonathan Andrew)
“They would prefer to stick with abusive Labour than admit that the current Conservative Party that pushes so many “progressive” ideas does not actually represent their perceived interests more than the abusive Labour Party.”
I think you may need to delete the “not”.
The Conservatives have had three female PMs as it happens. One didn’t last very long, and is thus easily overlooked.
Three women, a Hindu, no shortage of minorities at senior levels and I’m pretty Kemi B is the darling of the grassroots
I thought this was going to be a (….) walk into a bar joke for a minute! BTW ‘Pretty Kemi B’ is a darling isn’t she.
“Not sitting on the front bench, however, is a single MP who believes that biological sex can’t be erased at the stroke of a pen.”
This is not true. Every single adult on this planet with an IQ above about 90 believes that biological sex can’t be erased at the stroke of a pen. What these people actually say in public is of course a different matter.
Yes. It is interesting to note that parliament has decreed that man can legally become a woman under certain conditions, which is clearly contrary to good sense. Yet the idea that Ruanda can be legally proclaimed a safe country by parliament for migrants/alleged refugees is regarded in leftist circles as legally impermissible despite the fact that it is at least arguable that it is so.
Thank you, Rosie, for courageously and persistently speaking up for women.
Labour IS a male chauvinist party dominated by trade unions who traditionally persist with senior attitudes.
Women are given a problematic status within British socialist politics, from Labour’s inherent difficulties in electing a female leader (Harriet Harman was once snuck in quietly then rapidly taken out) to their protest wing, the Socialist Workers Party, having almost been destroyed by a sexual abuse scandal on the part of senior figures assaulting young female recruits.
Now they mirror the social problem of radical left-wing gay men bullying women – often lesbian but sometimes on the soft Left – who try to stand up for women’s rights in the face of the new gender orthodoxy which is inherently focused on men’s rights.
The “Lefty Woke Bros” have grabbed this opportunity to practice their previously hidden misogyny with both hands, while simultaneously burnishing their virtue and standing amongst their peers.
An extraordinary letter. I believe many of us on the right of politics are utterly disillusioned with the Tories but there seems to be a class distinction here. The Tories have failed to enact policies we would like (and repeal some we don’t) but I’m not sure there is any sign of a Tory MP verbally abusing a woman for not believing in magic.
I’m sure there are outcasts from the Tory cool gang yet the venom Rosie has experienced is beyond passion and rivalry.
God help us, I can’t stand the thought of our failed Government staying in power, and, yeah, the other lot should get a chance but they worry me.
I do wish these people would stop using the silly term, ‘lived experience’. If it has not been lived it has not been experienced. My ‘lived experience’ trumps your paltry ‘experience’. Take that you bounder!
It is of course not just one’s lived experience that is being called into action but one’s lived experience as a woman or a person of colour or a gay so that instead of your narrow personal experience that counts for naught you must bow to the value of their experience that supposedly represents the massed ranks of all women, persons of colour, gays or whatever grouping that your middle-aged miserable white male experience could not possibly conceive of.
Spot on
Defence and the economy are the most important issues for any country. It was the industrial working class living next to targets who suffered the worst bombing in WW2. The East End of London was destroyed whereas the affluent West London areas were almost uncathed. It was the development of electronic control and then computer controlled systems from the mid 1960s which reduced un and semi skilled jobs.
Since Callaghan, Labour has not had a leader who has attempted to understand the World and made sure the working class have the educatiop and skill to enter well paid and secure employment.
Labour has become dominated by the trade union leaders from the public sector. Discussions on Transgender issues benefit the public sector unions because it increases the number of civil servants who provide advice on this issue.
Labour will support any issue if it increases public sector employment or those who vote for it and against any which causes a reduction. Labour is a liability for blue collar manual workers, especially skilled, in the private sector.
Labour has a history. It champions a particular ‘oppressed group’ until another more ‘worthy’ oppressed group comes along.
It must be rewarding to have the warmth of the Labour Party wrapped around you and devastating to have that warmth snatched away.
I think that’s the truth of it. Some second wave feminists talk as if the Labour Party should be their party – it’s not, and it shouldn’t be. Its concerns should be far broader. Also, things have moved on, including feminism itself. The third wave does not have the same concerns as the second wave and it is less hung up on the trans issue.
For the record, I don’t think the Labour Party should be expending all its energy on the trans issue either. It needs to be a grown up party focussing on big issues – not an extension of student politics.
“less hung up on the trans issue.”
Did you even read the article?
The ‘trans issue’ is the abuse, medicalisation and sterilisation of vulnerable children, it is the removal of women’s rights, the eradication of their right to define themselves as woman or have ANY space or service where men are not allowed.
This isnt about ‘waves’ of feminism, it is about an abusive, porn driven mens rights movement.
Cripes
trans are the least vulnerable in society. end of story. the stats prove it, their access to political support proves it, the funding mermaids etc get proves it and the fact that the police will actually attend a misgendering incident proves it beyond any shadow of a doubt. emily thornberry is an imbecile, kier starmer isnt far behind. Rosie, however, isnt a progressive, she’s conservative with a small ‘c’.
Well written. Rosie.
There are few MPs I have any respect for, you have become one of them purely because of your refusal to bend the knee and betray your own conscience (i.e. not because of your background, your sex, your politics or any other checkbox).
I may disagree with you on most policy decisions, but I can’t doubt your convictions or your courage.
Thank you Rosie for your refusal to be silenced. I will always be grateful for your bravery in speaking out.
Society is becoming increasingly misogynistic. Perhaps the fact that women are now 60% of UG intake is a little too challenging. Irrespective, the sisterhood is experiecing an upwwell of misandry. Of course rhe complete destruction of structured relationships between the sexes would suit the left very well. Meanwhile, no woman who cares for her outcomes should vote labour.
Actually I think that most men and most women like the opposite sex well enough – even if they find them a little frustrating. It is small groups of people (cards on table, I think that radical feminists started it) who are deliberately stirring things up every chance they get.
Action and reaction are equal and opposite.
We’ve had several decades of misandry from feminists.
What did they think was going to happen?
“There is no politics without an enemy.” Doesn’t matter who: toffs, TERFs, men, oppressors, misgenderers, commies, Jews, capitalists.
And I say that women are just not cut out for the enemy game. When a woman has a problem with another woman it’s “I am never talking to her again.”
Un bel di, vedremo… But not yet, Butterfly.
It is so depressing to read evidence of woke bigotry and common sense phobia in Parliament. Makes you realise what we can expect under a Labour Government.
Yes, you bigots are going to be very unhappy!
Duffield is right about gender but she was wrong about Corbyn, who was not an anti-semite. It seems that the anti-Corbyn wing of the party are worse than useless on the gender issue in any case.
I sympathise but do wish that what is irrationality was not constantly confused with anti-female.
Why don’t you join Roary Stuart and Alastair Campbell? I’m willing to bet they will be generating a new party, designed for the world we live in today.
Useful idiot, nearly woken up, give her 5 years.
The Labour leadership undoubtedly has a problem, which is that it has been captured by a ridiculous ideology promulgated by a tiny number of activists. The leadership is unable to counter this without appearing heartless and cruel, which is a measure of how weak and intellectually bankrupt they are, and the depths to which our emotion-driven politics has sunk. I don’t think it’s true that
Most of them do, but have to play along with the lie because nobody wants to bell the cat and say the obvious, if saying it leaves a small group of self publicists in floods of fake tears.
Even so, there is no need to conflate that issue with that of your own victimhood. Obviously, if you can prove that there is a “woman problem” – that the issues are all part and parcel of “The Patriarchy”, or somesuch – then you can get more people to support your cause. OK, that’s what politicians do. But Starmer’s problems with intellectual honesty are different from being knocked about by your partner. Pretending they are closely related is an aspect of the blurry emotionality and shroud-waving that got us here in the first place.
But enough about the radical feminists 🙂
Identitarianism, the only extant ideology in Labours rotten kitbag, is not promulgated by a tiny minority. It, and its trans cult offshoot, are all the fruits of the twisted Equality Acts and are therefore promulgated by the State and State laws, hence its viral spread . Believed in by tiny numbers maybe, but followed by mass herds of cowardly progressives in our vast broken greedy Third World State sector, the Empty Heads in Westminster & its even more cynical pathetic ESG boardroom zealots in the City.
Any risk assessment has to take into account both the seriousness of the danger and its likelihood. Radfems focus on the seriousness of the worst case scenario – rape in a gender neutral toilet, say. But how likely is this to happen, and how frequently? How extensive is the risk.
In France a lot of toilets are shared, with women walking past the urinal to get to the cubicle. Not to my taste, but is it a huge danger?
Mens toilets and changing rooms are shared between heterosexual and gay men. They are used both by adult men and boys. This puts the boys in a potentially vulnerable position. Doubtless there have been incidents over the years, but how many, and how serious? In any case, nobody is making it an issue. Should we have separate facilities for gay men? Or are we to believe that only heterosexual men are capable of predation?
Could some of these issues be resolved by simple design changes? Gender neutral toilets, once you get used to them, seem to be easily accepted by most people.
The Unherd trans obsession continues. And they even found a Labour MP to join in the pile on.
Grotesque.
I have to agree for once. It is getting a little bit mental in here.
I’m sorry your transition didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.
Conservative wit at its finest!!!
I’ve seen domestic abuse up close. It involved punches, kicks, public humiliation and death threats. It wasn’t glances and texts, and it certainly wasn’t not having a parliamentary debate go your way. The Labour Party is not your husband, and it is not abusing you if it doesn’t automatically kowtow to your beliefs. Conflict and disagreement is central to politics and the parliamentary system. It’s not a game of happy families.
I think crossing the floor of The House to stare down and shout down Ms Duffield is definitely an intimidatory act, and really, should liking a common sense tweet that the vast majority of people would agree with result in thousands of death threats? By their silence Keir Starmer and the rest of the gang are cowardly bystanders, the sort that may have turned away from the rail trucks going to the extermination camps. Am I being hyperbolic? Perhaps, but I don’t think so. A principle is a principle, and not something that should be dropped because the oppressing entity has the loudest voice.
That Russell-Moye is simply a bully who rants when people are stating biological facts. The deeper that individuals are embroiled in this crackpot ideology, the louder they screech!
Oh please!
That’s how it starts. Be blase about this at your peril.
A classic case of a man speaking on behalf of a woman who has experienced something awful first hand. You couldn’t have made Rosie’s case better if you tried!
An entry in the victimhood Olympics that is slightly above average.
I give it a 6 out of 10.
It must be galling, having played the victim for so long, to suddenly find yourself portrayed as the oppressor. Leapfrogged, in effect, by the patriarchal oppressor tricked out in a frock.
Indeed it must.
The sisterhood will have to up its game.