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This woman is too hot but also not hot enough. (Barbie/IMDB)
Exactly how old is Barbie, anyway? I speak not of Barbie the product — though her birth in 1959 is a fascinating story — but Barbie the person, the character, the entity who exists in undying hot pink perpetuity, in another dimension, “Barbie World”.
Whatever age she’s permanently frozen at, she’s quite the achiever. A by-no-means complete list of her professions includes doctor, lifeguard, news anchor. She’s been both ballerina and ballet teacher. She’s served in every branch of the US military and as a cashier at various fast-food franchises. She’s even run for president — four times.
So, she’s young enough to work the menial jobs we associate with teenagers, but old enough to hold the country’s highest office (for which eligibility begins at 35). Barbie’s age is like her identity, then: infinitely malleable, and entirely dependent on how she’s accessorised. Nor is she constrained by class or education. When it comes to the milestones of adult life, she achieves some of them with ease (a Dream House), while lingering permanently on the threshold of others (marriage, children).
The only thing that doesn’t change is her silhouette. The classic Barbie always looks exactly the same: wasp waist, lifted heels, improbably huge plastic breasts.
But what’s most interesting about Barbie is how, in being unconstrained — not just by age, class, or education, but by adult trappings like marriage and children — she embodies the paradoxes of an entire generation of women. Like Barbie, the Archetypal Millennial is both wildly accomplished yet developmentally trapped in perpetual adolescence: she dates less, marries later, and has fewer children, if she has them at all. Like Barbie, she lives in a world where women eclipse men on so many fronts that the latter become an afterthought, their comparative underachievement something between a punchline and a national crisis. And like Barbie, she is expected to be not just hot, but hot in perpetuity, in a way that previous generations were not — if only because the means to achieve it were not yet widely accessible.
Millennial women’s entry into middle age has run in parallel to a veritable revolution in the business of appearance management — one characterised by low-cost Botox, ten-step skincare regimens, and those Instagram photo filters that make you look not just ageless but eerily smooth, something between a Pixar cartoon and a baby. Two things are true: that the past decade has given birth to a highly visible movement advocating body positivity and acceptance, and also, that the aspirations of women throughout Western society suggest that none of them actually believe in it. With enough time, effort and money, it is now possible for a committed woman to be hot virtually indefinitely; it is also increasingly understood that ambitious women probably should make this commitment, investing in their own faces for the same reasons that they pay into a pension.
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SubscribeWait, in the author’s telling, men are supposed to be “retaliating” against women who “out-achieve” them (whatever that means; better grades in school I suppose?) by telling women that their “true value to society is youth and fertility”?
But haven’t we men always “said” this (at least in no small part) through our actions? Long before this (hazy) notion of women “out-achieving men” appeared. Or to put it another way: what qualities in a woman are more desirable to a man than youth and fertility? And does this arrangement not benefit society as a whole?
And, if it is supposed to be “mythological” that women’s sex appeal greatly diminishes after the age of, say, 25, well, a “myth” implies that it has existed for a long time–so, long before any claim emerged that women are “out-achieving men”. And so this “myth” can hardly be considered a male “retaliation” to a recent development between the sexes. Doesn’t it have a longstanding basis in reality? Or am I blinded by my own male chauvinism?
I’d say you have effectively destroyed the author’s narrative.
She also says women can stay hot forever. This is ridiculously untrue of both women and men. Most human beings never achieve it in the first place.
I’m not sure she says that.(That she says women can stay hot forever) This is, however, one of the messages of modern marketing. “Buy our products. You will stay young (hot) forever.” The message pervades the culture, which is superficial anyways and appeals to people with superficial values.
Isn’t this what Brave New World was, though? Stay young till you die… and then you die.
In The Dancer Upstairs (directed by John Malkovich) the wife of Javier Bardem spends a lot of time thinking about what kind of nose she should have…
Have you seen what has been populating TV advertising?
I thought the message of modern marketing was even if you are ugly, obese and old you are still hot and should flaunt it.
Do you mean only “ugly. obese and old women”, or men as well?
Do you mean only “ugly. obese and old women”, or men as well?
Have you seen what has been populating TV advertising?
I thought the message of modern marketing was even if you are ugly, obese and old you are still hot and should flaunt it.
“Hot” as in deserving of men’s ogling? F*ck that!
As if that’s the only privilege enjoyed by attractive women.
As if that’s the only privilege enjoyed by attractive women.
Speaking of hot, I was in transit in a manilla mall two weeks ago. I was pondering a photo of one of my dead simmental cows my son sent me a pic. My beautiful fillipina wife and my monster 14 son marched me into a small shop staffed by a young handsome morrocan jew and a bevy of very pushy fillipino girls..they applied an ointment under my eyesore bags and told me how much younger it made me look (I’m 58 haha)..with my mind on my dead rotting cow, my impatience was growing quick…dad buy it..it’s so good. Argh yeah whatever..how much for this little tube? Usd $950.00! Can’t wait to get back to me cattle tbh..
I’m not sure she says that.(That she says women can stay hot forever) This is, however, one of the messages of modern marketing. “Buy our products. You will stay young (hot) forever.” The message pervades the culture, which is superficial anyways and appeals to people with superficial values.
Isn’t this what Brave New World was, though? Stay young till you die… and then you die.
In The Dancer Upstairs (directed by John Malkovich) the wife of Javier Bardem spends a lot of time thinking about what kind of nose she should have…
“Hot” as in deserving of men’s ogling? F*ck that!
Speaking of hot, I was in transit in a manilla mall two weeks ago. I was pondering a photo of one of my dead simmental cows my son sent me a pic. My beautiful fillipina wife and my monster 14 son marched me into a small shop staffed by a young handsome morrocan jew and a bevy of very pushy fillipino girls..they applied an ointment under my eyesore bags and told me how much younger it made me look (I’m 58 haha)..with my mind on my dead rotting cow, my impatience was growing quick…dad buy it..it’s so good. Argh yeah whatever..how much for this little tube? Usd $950.00! Can’t wait to get back to me cattle tbh..
I’d say you have effectively destroyed the author’s narrative.
She also says women can stay hot forever. This is ridiculously untrue of both women and men. Most human beings never achieve it in the first place.
Wait, in the author’s telling, men are supposed to be “retaliating” against women who “out-achieve” them (whatever that means; better grades in school I suppose?) by telling women that their “true value to society is youth and fertility”?
But haven’t we men always “said” this (at least in no small part) through our actions? Long before this (hazy) notion of women “out-achieving men” appeared. Or to put it another way: what qualities in a woman are more desirable to a man than youth and fertility? And does this arrangement not benefit society as a whole?
And, if it is supposed to be “mythological” that women’s sex appeal greatly diminishes after the age of, say, 25, well, a “myth” implies that it has existed for a long time–so, long before any claim emerged that women are “out-achieving men”. And so this “myth” can hardly be considered a male “retaliation” to a recent development between the sexes. Doesn’t it have a longstanding basis in reality? Or am I blinded by my own male chauvinism?
It seems women never entirely stop playing with dolls. Inventing lives as avatars for themselves, agonising over their decisions, endlessly musing over narcissistic froth.
Under achieving men, meanwhile, are keeping the lights on, roads working and providing them with the technology to agonise more publicly.
A ludicrous overstatement but this drivel just irritated me this morning.
Not ludicrous at all – it had the same effect on me. I’d have to be bound and clamped with eyes pried open like Alex Delarge to sit through this confection; the Pepto-Bismol pink alone is ironically nausea-inducing. As it is I’m irked that I bothered to read this article taking it seriously. “Fight Club” for girls, my *ss (although after this thing bombs there may be those who will intone: “Her name was Margot Robbie”).
Bravo! Indeed nausea inducing drivel. What the author doesn’t understand about men is that “achievement” is defined as providing for a wife and family. Women who are “out achieving them” are thus worthless beyond a Tinder date. Whatever the female author says, women have expiration dates because there’s always a fresh crop of younger, more fertile ladies for men of acceptable means and status. They ultimately find that this mirage of “achievement” is fleeting and hollow for women and men alike. The difference is that men can always find a younger model to impregnate. That’ll be blamed on the “patriarchy”.
There’s something creepy about that comment, John.
John “Crotcheau”‘s comment is not only creepy but vomit-inducing.
Thanks for the laugh, Danielle!
Thanks for the laugh, Danielle!
John “Crotcheau”‘s comment is not only creepy but vomit-inducing.
There’s something creepy about that comment, John.
Many of us heterosexual women never played with dolls or had any interest in them.
Many of us heterosexual women don’t give a toss about being “hot” either. Hot as in defined by the porn industry I suppose…
Many of us heterosexual women don’t give a toss about being “hot” either. Hot as in defined by the porn industry I suppose…
You can’t win…
Not ludicrous at all – it had the same effect on me. I’d have to be bound and clamped with eyes pried open like Alex Delarge to sit through this confection; the Pepto-Bismol pink alone is ironically nausea-inducing. As it is I’m irked that I bothered to read this article taking it seriously. “Fight Club” for girls, my *ss (although after this thing bombs there may be those who will intone: “Her name was Margot Robbie”).
Bravo! Indeed nausea inducing drivel. What the author doesn’t understand about men is that “achievement” is defined as providing for a wife and family. Women who are “out achieving them” are thus worthless beyond a Tinder date. Whatever the female author says, women have expiration dates because there’s always a fresh crop of younger, more fertile ladies for men of acceptable means and status. They ultimately find that this mirage of “achievement” is fleeting and hollow for women and men alike. The difference is that men can always find a younger model to impregnate. That’ll be blamed on the “patriarchy”.
Many of us heterosexual women never played with dolls or had any interest in them.
You can’t win…
It seems women never entirely stop playing with dolls. Inventing lives as avatars for themselves, agonising over their decisions, endlessly musing over narcissistic froth.
Under achieving men, meanwhile, are keeping the lights on, roads working and providing them with the technology to agonise more publicly.
A ludicrous overstatement but this drivel just irritated me this morning.
“Barbie” (the movie) is indeed a meta-narrative established by the now-completely dominant Matriarchal Hierarchy that seems to be screaming at the sky in despair: A world “made” by and for women and in which women have it all. And yet it’s still some auto-generated b*tchy man’s fault that the woman’s appearance is being judged by other (maybe younger) women and that she’s still not happy with her life.
In real life, I’ve found that men are commonly an afterthought when it comes to the glaring spotlight that women shine on each other’s blemishes.
“he negging came, of course, from a bunch of internet Kens: men who, figuratively speaking, clearly have naught but a modest plastic bulge where their manhood should be.”
One day man will be able to write a sentence about woman like this
Do you mean transwomen?
Perhaps the more pertinent question is whether it’s a question of ability or a question of desire to write such a sentence…which returns to the point of my post above. 🙂
Do you mean transwomen?
Perhaps the more pertinent question is whether it’s a question of ability or a question of desire to write such a sentence…which returns to the point of my post above. 🙂
Spot on. And though we may be sceptical about this, almost all of them claim they dress not for men, but for themselves.
I think not. I’d say for men and other women.
Agreement!
I would say it is to attract attention from men (often for validation more than anything serious) along with status and belonging amongst women. Women’s clothes tend to communicate either a sexual display (through emphasis of body parts) status through price, and group membership through style. The last is often done negatively. Items are avoided which are associated with women of lower social status (even if they were ok last year).
there is a shift of emphasis from sexuality to status as women age – assuming they have the means.
Perhaps more a shift from sexuality to intelligence and intellect. Not being hormone driven does leave one more time for other things.
You’re being optimistic Clare. Cod spirituality perhaps. But we were talking about display rather than substance.
You’re being optimistic Clare. Cod spirituality perhaps. But we were talking about display rather than substance.
Perhaps more a shift from sexuality to intelligence and intellect. Not being hormone driven does leave one more time for other things.
Claire, I’d say first for their reflection in the mirror…
Ah yes, Danielle, so very true………….
“The best slave does not need to be beaten
she beats herself,
not with a leather whip or a blackjack or billyclub,
but with the fine whip of her own tongue
and the subtle beating of her mind against her mind.
For who can hate her half so well
as she hates herself?
And who can match the finesse of her self- abuse?
Years of training are required for this
Twenty years of subtle self- indulgence, self- denial
until the subject thinks herself a queen,
and yet a beggar, both at the same time.
She must doubt herself
in everything but love.
She must never go out of the house unless veiled in paint
she must wear tight shoes
so she always remembers her bondage.
She must feel lost as a dog without her master
She must refer all moral questions to her mirror………..”
Part of a poem by Erica Jong called
‘Alceltis on the poetry Circuit’.
Ah yes, Danielle, so very true………….
“The best slave does not need to be beaten
she beats herself,
not with a leather whip or a blackjack or billyclub,
but with the fine whip of her own tongue
and the subtle beating of her mind against her mind.
For who can hate her half so well
as she hates herself?
And who can match the finesse of her self- abuse?
Years of training are required for this
Twenty years of subtle self- indulgence, self- denial
until the subject thinks herself a queen,
and yet a beggar, both at the same time.
She must doubt herself
in everything but love.
She must never go out of the house unless veiled in paint
she must wear tight shoes
so she always remembers her bondage.
She must feel lost as a dog without her master
She must refer all moral questions to her mirror………..”
Part of a poem by Erica Jong called
‘Alceltis on the poetry Circuit’.
Agreement!
I would say it is to attract attention from men (often for validation more than anything serious) along with status and belonging amongst women. Women’s clothes tend to communicate either a sexual display (through emphasis of body parts) status through price, and group membership through style. The last is often done negatively. Items are avoided which are associated with women of lower social status (even if they were ok last year).
there is a shift of emphasis from sexuality to status as women age – assuming they have the means.
Claire, I’d say first for their reflection in the mirror…
I think not. I’d say for men and other women.
Wild night is calling
And all the girls walk by
Dressed up for each other
And the boys do the boogie-woogie
On the corner of the street And the people, passin’ by
Stare in wild wonder
“he negging came, of course, from a bunch of internet Kens: men who, figuratively speaking, clearly have naught but a modest plastic bulge where their manhood should be.”
One day man will be able to write a sentence about woman like this
Spot on. And though we may be sceptical about this, almost all of them claim they dress not for men, but for themselves.
Wild night is calling
And all the girls walk by
Dressed up for each other
And the boys do the boogie-woogie
On the corner of the street And the people, passin’ by
Stare in wild wonder
“Barbie” (the movie) is indeed a meta-narrative established by the now-completely dominant Matriarchal Hierarchy that seems to be screaming at the sky in despair: A world “made” by and for women and in which women have it all. And yet it’s still some auto-generated b*tchy man’s fault that the woman’s appearance is being judged by other (maybe younger) women and that she’s still not happy with her life.
In real life, I’ve found that men are commonly an afterthought when it comes to the glaring spotlight that women shine on each other’s blemishes.
Does anyone recognise the world Ms Rosenfield describes, where female doctors, lawyers, scientists, polticians, chief executives are facing some overwhelming social pressure from men to keep young and beautiful if they are to regarded as having any worth?
I suppose as women in the professions and business are spreading rapidy and in some cases, as the author recognises, surpassing men in numbers, it gets harder for feminists to maintain the fiction of the “Patriarcy” all us men supposedly secretly belong to, where we conspire to exclude women from good jobs. Well paid feminist grievance mongers need to find a new axe to grind, and here we have it: women in top jobs lack worth because the insidious “Patriarcy” has made it so their accomplishments are unrecognised unless they maintain youth and beauty.
Aside from the desperate, grievance mongering, feminist fiddle faddle, there is a distinct hint of narcissism in the piece. Curious about the author I viewed some interviews she has done. At 41 she hasn’t got a wrinkle on her face and her eyebrows are resolutely stationary. In fact she seems to bear striking similarities to the youth chasing, trying to be hot woman she suggests is common among female professionals, but is in fact as real as Barbie World. In the real world professional women just get up every morning and get on with their jobs. If they are good at them they are valued and respected: no Botox required.
I work with a lady who regularly gets fillers and Botox injections. She comes in covered in bruises and I question her everytime if she has taken a beating. It’s really not a good look and if not growing old gracefully means looking like a DV victim, I’d rather stick to my wrinkles and laughter lines. I also think Madonna looks weird and is a poor advertisement for fighting aging.
Madonna is a contradiction. She doesn’t seem to be living up to what she seemed to always tout……..be strong and free. Instead she is a slave to fashion.
I think perhaps we all bought into the “Madonna as feminist icon” myth.
Indeed, a material girl if I may be so bold.
I think perhaps we all bought into the “Madonna as feminist icon” myth.
Indeed, a material girl if I may be so bold.
I have an acquaintance who suffered an adverse reaction to a neck lift. She told me she almost died but would do it again because look at her neck.
Madonna is a contradiction. She doesn’t seem to be living up to what she seemed to always tout……..be strong and free. Instead she is a slave to fashion.
I have an acquaintance who suffered an adverse reaction to a neck lift. She told me she almost died but would do it again because look at her neck.
I read one of her earlier articles about essentially anti-ageing and having no idea who this woman was so I watched a couple of her U Tube offerings. Her preoccupation with self, appearance, and ageing oozes out of the screen. It infiltrates her overthinking the movie. You can see her thinking she is both clever and attractive as if this was a new script for women. For her, it’s her grown-up toy to be able to have some work done and then parade it. That she communicates a self regarding image means in the end she is not very clever.
Great women have always been effortless in combining style, mind and attractiveness, the latter of which is more interesting to men as opposed to adolescent (…ability) I will not use the word she uses. That itself lacks any class. I can imagine her being one of those tiresome people who go to a restaurant and make a video of the waiter decanting the wine.
Yes, actually I do. It is yet another iteration of the culture of blame that his taken deep root. I bear little to no responsibility for who I am or what I do or why. It is my parent’s poor parenting. It is my genetic make up. It’s a disease, not choices. It is unrealized white privilege. It is toxic masculinity. It is triggering hate speech. I was born in the wrong body. I was born the wrong skin color. I was born the wrong gender. It is the government’s failure to protect me from the consequences of my choices. And now this: I am subject to the objectification of all men everywhere who want me to be something impossible for anyone to be. It is everyone’s fault, but not mine.
Well said.
I work with a lady who regularly gets fillers and Botox injections. She comes in covered in bruises and I question her everytime if she has taken a beating. It’s really not a good look and if not growing old gracefully means looking like a DV victim, I’d rather stick to my wrinkles and laughter lines. I also think Madonna looks weird and is a poor advertisement for fighting aging.
I read one of her earlier articles about essentially anti-ageing and having no idea who this woman was so I watched a couple of her U Tube offerings. Her preoccupation with self, appearance, and ageing oozes out of the screen. It infiltrates her overthinking the movie. You can see her thinking she is both clever and attractive as if this was a new script for women. For her, it’s her grown-up toy to be able to have some work done and then parade it. That she communicates a self regarding image means in the end she is not very clever.
Great women have always been effortless in combining style, mind and attractiveness, the latter of which is more interesting to men as opposed to adolescent (…ability) I will not use the word she uses. That itself lacks any class. I can imagine her being one of those tiresome people who go to a restaurant and make a video of the waiter decanting the wine.
Yes, actually I do. It is yet another iteration of the culture of blame that his taken deep root. I bear little to no responsibility for who I am or what I do or why. It is my parent’s poor parenting. It is my genetic make up. It’s a disease, not choices. It is unrealized white privilege. It is toxic masculinity. It is triggering hate speech. I was born in the wrong body. I was born the wrong skin color. I was born the wrong gender. It is the government’s failure to protect me from the consequences of my choices. And now this: I am subject to the objectification of all men everywhere who want me to be something impossible for anyone to be. It is everyone’s fault, but not mine.
Well said.
Does anyone recognise the world Ms Rosenfield describes, where female doctors, lawyers, scientists, polticians, chief executives are facing some overwhelming social pressure from men to keep young and beautiful if they are to regarded as having any worth?
I suppose as women in the professions and business are spreading rapidy and in some cases, as the author recognises, surpassing men in numbers, it gets harder for feminists to maintain the fiction of the “Patriarcy” all us men supposedly secretly belong to, where we conspire to exclude women from good jobs. Well paid feminist grievance mongers need to find a new axe to grind, and here we have it: women in top jobs lack worth because the insidious “Patriarcy” has made it so their accomplishments are unrecognised unless they maintain youth and beauty.
Aside from the desperate, grievance mongering, feminist fiddle faddle, there is a distinct hint of narcissism in the piece. Curious about the author I viewed some interviews she has done. At 41 she hasn’t got a wrinkle on her face and her eyebrows are resolutely stationary. In fact she seems to bear striking similarities to the youth chasing, trying to be hot woman she suggests is common among female professionals, but is in fact as real as Barbie World. In the real world professional women just get up every morning and get on with their jobs. If they are good at them they are valued and respected: no Botox required.
Interesting article, and the only time I have engaged with this current Barbie discussion.
But just like with Barbie dolls when we were kids, I’m on the outside, looking in. I don’t relate, I just don’t get the relationship to the entire phenomenon.
I never had a Barbie: Barbie appalled me. I had a Jem: a rockstar who had male backing singers (The Misfits). I played with my sister’s tired old Sindy doll for whom my lovely Nana had knitted tiny clothes – even a handbag with a sequin button. And I thought my She-Ra doll was FANTASTIC.
But the way other girls obsessed on Barbie – that was another world. It still is. As a 41 year old millennial, she has zero relevance to how I see myself or how I think about female empowerment.
Perhaps it’s because I was never really the one that men would run towards like bees to a honey pot, but I don’t really get any of this “oh no, I’m no longer f*able!” rhetoric. If you were never really f*able, then getting older becomes a hell of a lot easier.
Hitting my 40s has been a massive liberation. I just don’t have the energy to be obsessing about fighting to be taken seriously in the office alongside the men, or about how women are still trying to smash the glass ceiling, or about whether the patriarchy is still a thing, or about how the country where I live (Austria) is at least a generation behind the rest of the western world when it comes to gender roles and how frustrating that is for women sometimes…or about how women are often their own worst enemies.
I can’t be bothered with any of it any more. I have my business, I do my thing, I get stuff done, I make my decisions and accept the consequences.
All of my female millennial friends are the same. We are no longer have the revolutionary zeal we once had; we know what we like, what we want, how to filter out the BS from our lives. And we realise that there are some things and some attitudes that are going to need longer to change. But we’ve done our bit. And that’s OK. Over to Gen Z.
A friend is dating an Austrian woman in her 40s. She describes Austria as very sexist compared to, say, Scandinavia or the UK. However, she did mention Austria is a bastion of progressive feminism compared to Italy. I know I shouldn’t be surprised.
It is backwards. The men my age have attitudes like my dad. There is a reason I’ve ended up with a Luxembourger…northern Europeans are at the same stage of development on that front.
I hated dating Austrian guys. The ones I dated were all very different in terms of their personalities, but were all the same in one respect: their attitude to relationships was “I, man, say ‘jump!’ You, woman, say ‘how high?'” My God, it was tiresome.
The younger ones don’t seem to be much better. I was at a networking event the other week and talked to a very charming, very driven young man in charge of quite an exciting new startup. I was happy to talk about his business idea, give feedback and also suggested how I could help with my services. He emailed me back the next day, saying it was nice to meet me – and would I be so kind to do X, Y and Z for him (free of charge and out of the goodness of my own heart).
Buddy, I was being friendly and trying to grow my business. I am NOT your secretary. Again, this is something that ALL my female friends in Austria have a story about.
A friend is a corporate lawyer in Florence. She says she is always asked to make coffee when she walks into a meeting room with Italians. I just checked my calendar. It’s 2023.
That is about the size of it, yes. Although I have to say: in those situations, so many women just want to please and not rock the boat. The only way it will change is if we start saying “no”. It’s tough and also risky…but if you carry on acting like the secretary – don’t be surprised if you still get treated like one.
I think you’re the one that’s backwards, What’s wrong with gender roles? Women are more miserable and weaker now in feminist “empowerment”. Enslaving themselves to a career. Waiting so long to have childen it’s a geriatric pregnancy.
It is right a man should expect their partner to do things for them, just as they would do things for their woman. Austrian men are good men.
Women have made an incredible misplay, tricked into pursing soulless careers by business elites and politicians trying to lower their wages and bump up the gdp numbers. Women now are barely able to even defend their identity.
Our grandfathers fought and sacrificed for their families, the current man questions even paying for a date with a woman.
Oh goodness, I never met anyone from the 1800s before! Enchantée!
I’m sure there’s a museum somewhere that would love to have you as an exhibit.
I take that as a compliment, the 1800s was a golden age. An age where men were men, where we built the modern world and we where didn’t obsess about what’s in our pants.
I take that as a compliment, the 1800s was a golden age. An age where men were men, where we built the modern world and we where didn’t obsess about what’s in our pants.
Sam, you’re embarrassing, buddy. It’s one thing to advocate gender roles in private relationships at home. It’s another to suggest subordinate roles for professional women. As an American, I have lived in the Netherlands and France, and travelled extensively on business in Germany, Austria, and Italy. Traditional gender roles in the workplace are tiresome and self-emasculating. Women love strong men who allow them to flourish and realize their potential as equals using their own feminine powers. They are drawn like flies to the flame. You, Sam, not so much. Maybe that’s your problem.
“Realize their potential as equals?”
I think its you who consider women inferior.
I think women should become empowered mothers rather than corporate slaves.
“Flies to the flame” Exactly, you are the flame, corporations consume these women.
You’re telling them what you think they’d like to hear rather than what would actually be fulfilling.
“Realize their potential as equals?”
I think its you who consider women inferior.
I think women should become empowered mothers rather than corporate slaves.
“Flies to the flame” Exactly, you are the flame, corporations consume these women.
You’re telling them what you think they’d like to hear rather than what would actually be fulfilling.
Oh goodness, I never met anyone from the 1800s before! Enchantée!
I’m sure there’s a museum somewhere that would love to have you as an exhibit.
Sam, you’re embarrassing, buddy. It’s one thing to advocate gender roles in private relationships at home. It’s another to suggest subordinate roles for professional women. As an American, I have lived in the Netherlands and France, and travelled extensively on business in Germany, Austria, and Italy. Traditional gender roles in the workplace are tiresome and self-emasculating. Women love strong men who allow them to flourish and realize their potential as equals using their own feminine powers. They are drawn like flies to the flame. You, Sam, not so much. Maybe that’s your problem.
I think you’re the one that’s backwards, What’s wrong with gender roles? Women are more miserable and weaker now in feminist “empowerment”. Enslaving themselves to a career. Waiting so long to have childen it’s a geriatric pregnancy.
It is right a man should expect their partner to do things for them, just as they would do things for their woman. Austrian men are good men.
Women have made an incredible misplay, tricked into pursing soulless careers by business elites and politicians trying to lower their wages and bump up the gdp numbers. Women now are barely able to even defend their identity.
Our grandfathers fought and sacrificed for their families, the current man questions even paying for a date with a woman.
How do you know she is asked to make the coffee because she is a woman? I was in the navy, and on board the ship it was the responsibility of the junior most person to make coffee, for a time. Is she the newest person in the office?
Really? I mean…. really? It happened every time. They asked nobody else. She’s a highly-qualified lawyer in her forties.
This is (deliberately) a contentious reply. You used the word ‘asked’ about making the coffee. In that case, she could say ‘no, make your own coffee.’
My own experience is that it is is more likely that someone instructed her to make the coffee ; and in that case she can still say ‘make your own coffee – and make me one while you are about it.’
It is now a long time since I was so junior that I was asked/told to make the coffee. The simple solution, I found, was to make the brew so poisonous that no-one ever asked again. Even now, with my own staff, if I say “would anyone like a coffee?” the response is usually “NO – I’ll make it.”
A pinch or two of salt is a sure fire way to ruin a cup of joe.
A pinch or two of salt is a sure fire way to ruin a cup of joe.
This is (deliberately) a contentious reply. You used the word ‘asked’ about making the coffee. In that case, she could say ‘no, make your own coffee.’
My own experience is that it is is more likely that someone instructed her to make the coffee ; and in that case she can still say ‘make your own coffee – and make me one while you are about it.’
It is now a long time since I was so junior that I was asked/told to make the coffee. The simple solution, I found, was to make the brew so poisonous that no-one ever asked again. Even now, with my own staff, if I say “would anyone like a coffee?” the response is usually “NO – I’ll make it.”
Because it didn’t happen in the military. In the real world the rules are different.
With respect, in the real world ( I agree with your implied point about the military) the most junior makes the coffee. Of course, there is then a lot of contention about precisely who is the most junior.
BS! The “girl” makes the coffee. Join the real world.
BS! The “girl” makes the coffee. Join the real world.
With respect, in the real world ( I agree with your implied point about the military) the most junior makes the coffee. Of course, there is then a lot of contention about precisely who is the most junior.
Really? I mean…. really? It happened every time. They asked nobody else. She’s a highly-qualified lawyer in her forties.
Because it didn’t happen in the military. In the real world the rules are different.
That is about the size of it, yes. Although I have to say: in those situations, so many women just want to please and not rock the boat. The only way it will change is if we start saying “no”. It’s tough and also risky…but if you carry on acting like the secretary – don’t be surprised if you still get treated like one.
How do you know she is asked to make the coffee because she is a woman? I was in the navy, and on board the ship it was the responsibility of the junior most person to make coffee, for a time. Is she the newest person in the office?
They just want to annexe the Sudetenland and invade Poland…
Wow, well done. Perfect historical analogy. My German friends claimed “he” was crazy, a Bavarian. Bavarians claimed “he” was Austrian. In fact, Hitler was a failed Austrian artist before WWI gas attacks infected his character.
Wow, well done. Perfect historical analogy. My German friends claimed “he” was crazy, a Bavarian. Bavarians claimed “he” was Austrian. In fact, Hitler was a failed Austrian artist before WWI gas attacks infected his character.
A friend is a corporate lawyer in Florence. She says she is always asked to make coffee when she walks into a meeting room with Italians. I just checked my calendar. It’s 2023.
They just want to annexe the Sudetenland and invade Poland…
Having been born, raised and lived in the UK for 30 years my experience was that it’s as sexist as anywhere else.
British men love their women. It’s you hateful feminists who slander them.
You don’t know if I’m a feminist or not, so that’s a total projection. I went to live in London when I just turned 17 like a lamb to slaughter. My experience with men was as a very naive girl up from the country, who now has some very painful tales to tell.
You don’t know if I’m a feminist or not, so that’s a total projection. I went to live in London when I just turned 17 like a lamb to slaughter. My experience with men was as a very naive girl up from the country, who now has some very painful tales to tell.
British men love their women. It’s you hateful feminists who slander them.
It is backwards. The men my age have attitudes like my dad. There is a reason I’ve ended up with a Luxembourger…northern Europeans are at the same stage of development on that front.
I hated dating Austrian guys. The ones I dated were all very different in terms of their personalities, but were all the same in one respect: their attitude to relationships was “I, man, say ‘jump!’ You, woman, say ‘how high?'” My God, it was tiresome.
The younger ones don’t seem to be much better. I was at a networking event the other week and talked to a very charming, very driven young man in charge of quite an exciting new startup. I was happy to talk about his business idea, give feedback and also suggested how I could help with my services. He emailed me back the next day, saying it was nice to meet me – and would I be so kind to do X, Y and Z for him (free of charge and out of the goodness of my own heart).
Buddy, I was being friendly and trying to grow my business. I am NOT your secretary. Again, this is something that ALL my female friends in Austria have a story about.
Having been born, raised and lived in the UK for 30 years my experience was that it’s as sexist as anywhere else.
Jem! Truly Outrageous, woah, Jem! Had female backing singers. I had a Robin doll and wanted the whole lot. The Misfits weren’t male backing singers, they were a rival (and obviously evil and cheating!) band with lead singer Pizazz! (The exclamation marks are very important). Jem had pink hair and played guitar, Robin had red hair and there was another band member with blue hair. They got their musical powers through something called Synergy. Pizazz! had wild green hair and her band kind of looked like a female version of Kiss!
And YES She-Ra, Princess of Power was another favorite. Even more anatomically remarkable than Barbie, she was the female twin sister of He-Man, being Adam and Aurora until they raised their swords aloft, and by the power of Grayskull!, became He-Man and She-Ra and transformed their pet companions into superhero animals that came along to fight with them. She-Ra was clearly an adult woman, she had a very feminine figure and an adult female’s voice which commanded respect. In She-Ra’s world most of the lead characters were female (although she had a male sidekick, Robin, who wasn’t played as a weakling or inept because he was a man, but as sidekick who happened to be a man).
Shout out to Cheetara in Thundercats for also being great female character.
Actually, now I come to think about it even the Care Bears and My Little Pony had a little moxie. My Little Pony still does, but falls prey to that annoying trait where the writers write as much for an adult audience (The Bronies) as for the ostensible one.
FWIW worth, I had Barbies too, and was even a member of the Barbie fan club. I’ll get me coat.
I had ‘Toxic Masculinity’ Action Man. My favourites were the German storm-trooper and Australian jungle-fighter (who came with a machete and a flamethrower). He was great.
Then, in the 80s, Action Man ended up with a colourful makeover – he looked like ‘Zoolander’ and his mates. He had a day-glo surfboard.
He was rubbish.
All downhill from there, really. I suspect I know which version She-Ra would rather go on a date with!
I remember taking my sons round Hamley’s and seeing action man in an orange jump suit – he looked like a contestant on ‘I’m a celebrity’.
The b*stards managed to castrate the poor git even though he never had any balls to begin with.
A Trump action doll, lol!
A Trump action doll, lol!
I remember taking my sons round Hamley’s and seeing action man in an orange jump suit – he looked like a contestant on ‘I’m a celebrity’.
The b*stards managed to castrate the poor git even though he never had any balls to begin with.
Thanks! That false bit about the Misfits being Jem’s male backing singers and not the rival band was really bothering me!
I had ‘Toxic Masculinity’ Action Man. My favourites were the German storm-trooper and Australian jungle-fighter (who came with a machete and a flamethrower). He was great.
Then, in the 80s, Action Man ended up with a colourful makeover – he looked like ‘Zoolander’ and his mates. He had a day-glo surfboard.
He was rubbish.
All downhill from there, really. I suspect I know which version She-Ra would rather go on a date with!
Thanks! That false bit about the Misfits being Jem’s male backing singers and not the rival band was really bothering me!
For all the reasons you describe above, you are very attractive indeed, Katharine! Being a f@#kable Barbie comes with many strings attached and most of these women are loonies, with mental and emotional issues that make good men run for the hills after the first date.
With all due respect, Warren, you offer too much credit. The 40-something f@#kable Barbie doesn’t care about second dates. They’ve lived their lives on one-night stands and extend that one night at a time. Good luck with competing with an infinite supply of young, fertile ladies on the prowl for high-quality men — assuming that’s even part of the criteria.
With all due respect, Warren, you offer too much credit. The 40-something f@#kable Barbie doesn’t care about second dates. They’ve lived their lives on one-night stands and extend that one night at a time. Good luck with competing with an infinite supply of young, fertile ladies on the prowl for high-quality men — assuming that’s even part of the criteria.
I have always thought that never being a sex object must make it easier to age. Speaking as one, I stuggle to not be bothered by ageing. It’s difficult, and I’m rather ashamed about being bothered by it; which doesn’t help the whole process. Being a sex object has power in a man’s world and power is addictive, so part of aging is going through the withdrawal of the loss of power, and grief over loss.
A friend is dating an Austrian woman in her 40s. She describes Austria as very sexist compared to, say, Scandinavia or the UK. However, she did mention Austria is a bastion of progressive feminism compared to Italy. I know I shouldn’t be surprised.
Jem! Truly Outrageous, woah, Jem! Had female backing singers. I had a Robin doll and wanted the whole lot. The Misfits weren’t male backing singers, they were a rival (and obviously evil and cheating!) band with lead singer Pizazz! (The exclamation marks are very important). Jem had pink hair and played guitar, Robin had red hair and there was another band member with blue hair. They got their musical powers through something called Synergy. Pizazz! had wild green hair and her band kind of looked like a female version of Kiss!
And YES She-Ra, Princess of Power was another favorite. Even more anatomically remarkable than Barbie, she was the female twin sister of He-Man, being Adam and Aurora until they raised their swords aloft, and by the power of Grayskull!, became He-Man and She-Ra and transformed their pet companions into superhero animals that came along to fight with them. She-Ra was clearly an adult woman, she had a very feminine figure and an adult female’s voice which commanded respect. In She-Ra’s world most of the lead characters were female (although she had a male sidekick, Robin, who wasn’t played as a weakling or inept because he was a man, but as sidekick who happened to be a man).
Shout out to Cheetara in Thundercats for also being great female character.
Actually, now I come to think about it even the Care Bears and My Little Pony had a little moxie. My Little Pony still does, but falls prey to that annoying trait where the writers write as much for an adult audience (The Bronies) as for the ostensible one.
FWIW worth, I had Barbies too, and was even a member of the Barbie fan club. I’ll get me coat.
For all the reasons you describe above, you are very attractive indeed, Katharine! Being a f@#kable Barbie comes with many strings attached and most of these women are loonies, with mental and emotional issues that make good men run for the hills after the first date.
I have always thought that never being a sex object must make it easier to age. Speaking as one, I stuggle to not be bothered by ageing. It’s difficult, and I’m rather ashamed about being bothered by it; which doesn’t help the whole process. Being a sex object has power in a man’s world and power is addictive, so part of aging is going through the withdrawal of the loss of power, and grief over loss.
Interesting article, and the only time I have engaged with this current Barbie discussion.
But just like with Barbie dolls when we were kids, I’m on the outside, looking in. I don’t relate, I just don’t get the relationship to the entire phenomenon.
I never had a Barbie: Barbie appalled me. I had a Jem: a rockstar who had male backing singers (The Misfits). I played with my sister’s tired old Sindy doll for whom my lovely Nana had knitted tiny clothes – even a handbag with a sequin button. And I thought my She-Ra doll was FANTASTIC.
But the way other girls obsessed on Barbie – that was another world. It still is. As a 41 year old millennial, she has zero relevance to how I see myself or how I think about female empowerment.
Perhaps it’s because I was never really the one that men would run towards like bees to a honey pot, but I don’t really get any of this “oh no, I’m no longer f*able!” rhetoric. If you were never really f*able, then getting older becomes a hell of a lot easier.
Hitting my 40s has been a massive liberation. I just don’t have the energy to be obsessing about fighting to be taken seriously in the office alongside the men, or about how women are still trying to smash the glass ceiling, or about whether the patriarchy is still a thing, or about how the country where I live (Austria) is at least a generation behind the rest of the western world when it comes to gender roles and how frustrating that is for women sometimes…or about how women are often their own worst enemies.
I can’t be bothered with any of it any more. I have my business, I do my thing, I get stuff done, I make my decisions and accept the consequences.
All of my female millennial friends are the same. We are no longer have the revolutionary zeal we once had; we know what we like, what we want, how to filter out the BS from our lives. And we realise that there are some things and some attitudes that are going to need longer to change. But we’ve done our bit. And that’s OK. Over to Gen Z.
It’s just a doll. Don’t overthink it.
Agreed, I’m reminded of the phrase “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process”Get a life 🙂 Barbie is just a doll
I am planning on writing a 15,000 word piece on GI Joe dolls and their relationship the book of Exodus.
Yeah really!!!
Agreed, I’m reminded of the phrase “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process”Get a life 🙂 Barbie is just a doll
I am planning on writing a 15,000 word piece on GI Joe dolls and their relationship the book of Exodus.
Yeah really!!!
It’s just a doll. Don’t overthink it.
“Is it possible to dodge the social obligation of remaining Fuckable Literally Forever, yet also remain seen, in a world where women of a certain age have a way of becoming invisible?”
Yep. It’s called growing the eff up.
I wonder in what contexts the author fears “becoming invisible.” On Instagram? At singles’ bars? If you’re doing something useful or fun in the world, with decent people, you’re not “invisible” unless you intentionally sit in the back and say, “Pretend I’m not here.”
I would say social media (but potentially a friend or work group too). I signed up to Instagram a few years ago, to keep somewhat in touch with people without having to read their Facebook rants about politics. Much of Instagram appears to be heavily filtered images of people interspersed with adverts on how I need this or that eyebrow, lip, body, cellulite, hair, workout, clothing, home interior, home exterior product. Again, all heavily edited and filtered. Usually for the body products the advert is accompanied with a ‘I can’t believe she is 40!’ kind of line. It reminds me of when I was younger and might grab a copy of Cosmo in a waiting room, makes you instantly feel horrible about the way you look.
If you use the search function on Instagram it pops up with a bunch of pictures, mostly women looking hot (in just two weeks of drinking our product, you too can look like this!) or pets (mostly cats).
Why do I still use it now and then. Cat videos. Yes, I am part of the problem.
I like cat videos, too. My daughters text me videos of their cats.
I like cat videos, too. My daughters text me videos of their cats.
I would say social media (but potentially a friend or work group too). I signed up to Instagram a few years ago, to keep somewhat in touch with people without having to read their Facebook rants about politics. Much of Instagram appears to be heavily filtered images of people interspersed with adverts on how I need this or that eyebrow, lip, body, cellulite, hair, workout, clothing, home interior, home exterior product. Again, all heavily edited and filtered. Usually for the body products the advert is accompanied with a ‘I can’t believe she is 40!’ kind of line. It reminds me of when I was younger and might grab a copy of Cosmo in a waiting room, makes you instantly feel horrible about the way you look.
If you use the search function on Instagram it pops up with a bunch of pictures, mostly women looking hot (in just two weeks of drinking our product, you too can look like this!) or pets (mostly cats).
Why do I still use it now and then. Cat videos. Yes, I am part of the problem.
Yup. And in my experience the women who are obsessed with remaining Fuckable Literally Forever (or is it with remaining the centre of attention forever) do so at the cost of ever being sufficiently lovable to attract anyone worthwhile.
I wonder in what contexts the author fears “becoming invisible.” On Instagram? At singles’ bars? If you’re doing something useful or fun in the world, with decent people, you’re not “invisible” unless you intentionally sit in the back and say, “Pretend I’m not here.”
Yup. And in my experience the women who are obsessed with remaining Fuckable Literally Forever (or is it with remaining the centre of attention forever) do so at the cost of ever being sufficiently lovable to attract anyone worthwhile.
“Is it possible to dodge the social obligation of remaining Fuckable Literally Forever, yet also remain seen, in a world where women of a certain age have a way of becoming invisible?”
Yep. It’s called growing the eff up.
“it is now possible for a committed woman to be hot virtually indefinitely”
Nope. The wall is merciless. It can’t be beaten.
Men are so gleeful about this, as if it is the only immutable power they have over women. In age of sperm donors and willful single parenthood, it isn’t. From a romantic perspective, men are still desirable to many women, but they’re no longer required. Sorry.
On every metric available, children of single parents have worse outcomes than children with two. So a great result all round.
I really have to wonder about those metrics you speak of. There are so many variables, like better to have one loving parent than two dysfuntional ones, for instance.
Exceptions don’t disprove the rule. In general the more parents you have the better.
10? 20? 100? Surely two’s enough?
More of the ones that can give unconditional love,perhaps.
10? 20? 100? Surely two’s enough?
More of the ones that can give unconditional love,perhaps.
Exceptions don’t disprove the rule. In general the more parents you have the better.
I really have to wonder about those metrics you speak of. There are so many variables, like better to have one loving parent than two dysfuntional ones, for instance.
It is cruel to tell women they will be beautiful forever, and that they don’t need a man. We all need family. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain these botox women are going through.
I don’t think women are being told they don’t need a man, or that having a man is the only kind of family there is. I think woman have found out, by themselves, that they have choices in life other than creating the nuclear family.
I don’t think women are being told they don’t need a man, or that having a man is the only kind of family there is. I think woman have found out, by themselves, that they have choices in life other than creating the nuclear family.
This is not a good thing. You can use technology to attempt to fill the void, but the void nonetheless remains
Women become old, men become distinguished.
Says I all!
Says I all!
On every metric available, children of single parents have worse outcomes than children with two. So a great result all round.
It is cruel to tell women they will be beautiful forever, and that they don’t need a man. We all need family. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain these botox women are going through.
This is not a good thing. You can use technology to attempt to fill the void, but the void nonetheless remains
Women become old, men become distinguished.
Men hit a wall as well.
Men are so gleeful about this, as if it is the only immutable power they have over women. In age of sperm donors and willful single parenthood, it isn’t. From a romantic perspective, men are still desirable to many women, but they’re no longer required. Sorry.
Men hit a wall as well.
“it is now possible for a committed woman to be hot virtually indefinitely”
Nope. The wall is merciless. It can’t be beaten.
“With enough time, effort and money, it is now possible for a committed woman to be hot virtually indefinitely”
Remind me, how’s that working out for Madonna ? (Snigger, snigger)
Madonna has looked like a plastinated corpse for at least the last decade. I suppose she’s happy with it.
She looks like a boiled egg!…
She looks like a boiled egg!…
Something is seriously wrong with her face.
She has michaeljackson-ed herself, I would say….
She has michaeljackson-ed herself, I would say….
The snigger gave your comment a nasty flavor.
Madonna has looked like a plastinated corpse for at least the last decade. I suppose she’s happy with it.
Something is seriously wrong with her face.
The snigger gave your comment a nasty flavor.
“With enough time, effort and money, it is now possible for a committed woman to be hot virtually indefinitely”
Remind me, how’s that working out for Madonna ? (Snigger, snigger)
“the sense that her true value to society is in her youthful good looks and fertility”
Irrespective of everything else in this article, it confuses me when “fertility” is brought up in a culture of intentional sterility. I had five children at 33 – Margot Robbie’s age – and went on to have another five. I’m very involved in real life: Scout leader, camp staff, choir director, environmental educator. As I go around with my natural hair color, face, and body, people sometimes say, “You look nice,” but mostly they’re glad I’m there – reliable, punctual, trained – to do my (unpaid) job.
Bravo, Cynthia! You are the only woman in this thread that I can obviously describe as truly “accomplished”.
You don’t know anything about the other women do you? There are many ways to be accomplished other than having ten children.
Sounds like you’re jealous
My dear Sam, anyone can breed not everyone can parent.
My dear Sam, anyone can breed not everyone can parent.
Sounds like you’re jealous
People do all sorts of different things in their lives.
You don’t know anything about the other women do you? There are many ways to be accomplished other than having ten children.
People do all sorts of different things in their lives.
Yikes 10 chidren!!
Keeps me off the streets and out of the bars.
I should hope so, what with your “respectable” functions…
I should hope so, what with your “respectable” functions…
You mean “horrors”!
Keeps me off the streets and out of the bars.
You mean “horrors”!
“Irrespective of everything else in this article, it confuses me when “fertility” is brought up in a culture of intentional sterility.”
This annoys me, too. Not just this article, but hundreds like it from both sexes. Just what exactly do these people think they’re signalling? Do they even know why they’re doing it?
PS – 10 children? Wonderful.
Having 10 children is wonderful? Try being pregnant for 90 months (and that’s just for starters…) and come back to tell us about it! Didn’t think so…
If I wanted your unsolicited opinion before congratulating a fellow commenter, I would have asked for it.
It’s a comment section, Derek, free speech. Your comments are fair game.
It’s a comment section, Derek, free speech. Your comments are fair game.
If I wanted your unsolicited opinion before congratulating a fellow commenter, I would have asked for it.
What if everyone in the world had 10 children? Would that be so “wonderful?” There would be a long line in the post office.
I like them. Two adult sons and two daughters and two of the daughters’ friends and one friend’s mom turned up after dinner last night, and we all had some wine and a good time.
It’s just weird that writers mention “fertility” when neither the men nor the women are interested in having children. Intentional infertility is the expectation.
Having 10 children is wonderful? Try being pregnant for 90 months (and that’s just for starters…) and come back to tell us about it! Didn’t think so…
What if everyone in the world had 10 children? Would that be so “wonderful?” There would be a long line in the post office.
I like them. Two adult sons and two daughters and two of the daughters’ friends and one friend’s mom turned up after dinner last night, and we all had some wine and a good time.
It’s just weird that writers mention “fertility” when neither the men nor the women are interested in having children. Intentional infertility is the expectation.
Bravo, Cynthia! You are the only woman in this thread that I can obviously describe as truly “accomplished”.
Yikes 10 chidren!!
“Irrespective of everything else in this article, it confuses me when “fertility” is brought up in a culture of intentional sterility.”
This annoys me, too. Not just this article, but hundreds like it from both sexes. Just what exactly do these people think they’re signalling? Do they even know why they’re doing it?
PS – 10 children? Wonderful.
“the sense that her true value to society is in her youthful good looks and fertility”
Irrespective of everything else in this article, it confuses me when “fertility” is brought up in a culture of intentional sterility. I had five children at 33 – Margot Robbie’s age – and went on to have another five. I’m very involved in real life: Scout leader, camp staff, choir director, environmental educator. As I go around with my natural hair color, face, and body, people sometimes say, “You look nice,” but mostly they’re glad I’m there – reliable, punctual, trained – to do my (unpaid) job.
I usually enjoy Kat’s writing but this one felt a bit… off. I’m actually planning on seeing ‘Barbie’ as I was intrigued by the reviews, and my wife thinks it’s funny that I’d sit through it (I am, unambiguously, a special effects / car chases / escapism type of moviegoer). I’m more interested in the narrative from a ‘Shrek’ POV (that film is sheer genius in effortlessly catering to children and adults at the same time) than expecting some sort of meta-narrative on femininity (and Kat doesn’t mention Ken – whose role is apparently central to the plot).
And, lastly, I’m 53. Please don’t mention ‘Fight Club’ and ‘Barbie’ in the same sentence. Just don’t. Ha ha ha!
52 here and I agree with you. This was an also-ran after a series of sharp, entertaining articles by Rosenfield. I expect she’ll return to top form after reminding us that no one can produce an unbroken string of hits.
I think it would be fun because it’s silly.
52 here and I agree with you. This was an also-ran after a series of sharp, entertaining articles by Rosenfield. I expect she’ll return to top form after reminding us that no one can produce an unbroken string of hits.
I think it would be fun because it’s silly.
I usually enjoy Kat’s writing but this one felt a bit… off. I’m actually planning on seeing ‘Barbie’ as I was intrigued by the reviews, and my wife thinks it’s funny that I’d sit through it (I am, unambiguously, a special effects / car chases / escapism type of moviegoer). I’m more interested in the narrative from a ‘Shrek’ POV (that film is sheer genius in effortlessly catering to children and adults at the same time) than expecting some sort of meta-narrative on femininity (and Kat doesn’t mention Ken – whose role is apparently central to the plot).
And, lastly, I’m 53. Please don’t mention ‘Fight Club’ and ‘Barbie’ in the same sentence. Just don’t. Ha ha ha!
“Speaking as a man” plasticated women of indeterminate age are not hot, there is an air of desperation about it which is not desirable. The fully filled look is more funny and unsettling than anything and makes me wonder where the comics have gone.
Eventually they end up in “uncanny valley”
Eventually they end up in “uncanny valley”
“Speaking as a man” plasticated women of indeterminate age are not hot, there is an air of desperation about it which is not desirable. The fully filled look is more funny and unsettling than anything and makes me wonder where the comics have gone.
Ascend, shine and sink, is our fate, at best. You can postpone the last but then you postpone life’s final lesson which is to teach us humility. Winning or loosing , in the end it is all an experience. Enjoy the journey.
Where did you hear that life’s journey is to teach humility? You may have your own authority figure but it doesn’t necessarily apply to the rest of us.
It’s my experience. But some of us are very stubborn Clare. No problem.
You didn’t say it was just your experience, Steven, you said this is the way it is “our fate”. You proselytized as an authority and that is a problem, for me.
Wait until you lie on your death bed, fluids oozing out of a diverse set of openings, a care worker spinning you around every few hours, so that 50% of your bed sores can r&r a little and enjoy your sense of accomplishment without even the slightest bit of humility…
Wait until you lie on your death bed, fluids oozing out of a diverse set of openings, a care worker spinning you around every few hours, so that 50% of your bed sores can r&r a little and enjoy your sense of accomplishment without even the slightest bit of humility…
You didn’t say it was just your experience, Steven, you said this is the way it is “our fate”. You proselytized as an authority and that is a problem, for me.
It’s my experience. But some of us are very stubborn Clare. No problem.
Where did you hear that life’s journey is to teach humility? You may have your own authority figure but it doesn’t necessarily apply to the rest of us.
Ascend, shine and sink, is our fate, at best. You can postpone the last but then you postpone life’s final lesson which is to teach us humility. Winning or loosing , in the end it is all an experience. Enjoy the journey.
I was walking around the the area near Harrods a couple of weeks ago, it was a glorious summer’s day.the area was full of beautiful young women everywhere but also sitting outside nearly every cafe and restaurant were women in their thirties and forties who all looked very affluent, but nearly every single one had deformed their faces with the “trout pout”.They looked like another species. Whatever the resentment is that the feminists have,in the end nature wins out.Life just isn’t fair.Who knew?
I was walking around the the area near Harrods a couple of weeks ago, it was a glorious summer’s day.the area was full of beautiful young women everywhere but also sitting outside nearly every cafe and restaurant were women in their thirties and forties who all looked very affluent, but nearly every single one had deformed their faces with the “trout pout”.They looked like another species. Whatever the resentment is that the feminists have,in the end nature wins out.Life just isn’t fair.Who knew?
I’ve never understood how so much serious attention can be given to a child’s toy. Feminists just can’t leave it alone. My own daughters played with Barbie dolls and loved them. They had fun and were not harmed before they outgrew them. The writer’s effort here is astonishing. Never was so much done for so trivial a subject. (I couldn’t read all of it.)
It is her job and she is good at it. Her target audience is neither you nor me but I get your point.
It is her job and she is good at it. Her target audience is neither you nor me but I get your point.
I’ve never understood how so much serious attention can be given to a child’s toy. Feminists just can’t leave it alone. My own daughters played with Barbie dolls and loved them. They had fun and were not harmed before they outgrew them. The writer’s effort here is astonishing. Never was so much done for so trivial a subject. (I couldn’t read all of it.)
The thing I’ve found missing from articles I’ve read on the film – this one included – is any recognition that this millennial /Barbie world of Botox, plastic surgery, obsession with appearance, instagram, infantilism and middle aged teenagers – is entirely a creation of female culture.
To such an extent, in fact, that feminists now feel obliged not only to reclaim Barbie, but to reclaim the Bimbo as a feminist icon or mode of being. Imagine if you’d said to a 70s feminist that “all women really want is to be vacuous (if successful) bimbos”.
The thing I’ve found missing from articles I’ve read on the film – this one included – is any recognition that this millennial /Barbie world of Botox, plastic surgery, obsession with appearance, instagram, infantilism and middle aged teenagers – is entirely a creation of female culture.
To such an extent, in fact, that feminists now feel obliged not only to reclaim Barbie, but to reclaim the Bimbo as a feminist icon or mode of being. Imagine if you’d said to a 70s feminist that “all women really want is to be vacuous (if successful) bimbos”.
Don’t forget to buy the ‘Barbie the Movie Collectible Doll, Margot Robbie As Barbie In Gold Disco Jumpsuit’ – a snip at 50 dollars!
or the Barbie the Movie Collectible Doll, President Barbie In Pink And Gold Dress – a snip at 50 dollars!
or the Barbie the Movie Fashion Pack With three Iconic Film Outfits And Accessories – a snip at 50 dollars!
Smash the Patriarchy!
Don’t forget to buy the ‘Barbie the Movie Collectible Doll, Margot Robbie As Barbie In Gold Disco Jumpsuit’ – a snip at 50 dollars!
or the Barbie the Movie Collectible Doll, President Barbie In Pink And Gold Dress – a snip at 50 dollars!
or the Barbie the Movie Fashion Pack With three Iconic Film Outfits And Accessories – a snip at 50 dollars!
Smash the Patriarchy!
I would watch a Barbie fight club movie.
It wouldn’t work. The Barbie’s would inevitably talk about it – at length, and to anybody who would listen
It wouldn’t work. The Barbie’s would inevitably talk about it – at length, and to anybody who would listen
I would watch a Barbie fight club movie.
Rosenfield is generally one of the best social commentators in the industry but on this topic I just don’t know what to make of it. She is both objectively physically attractive and intellectually at the top of her game. What’s not to love so why all the premature against ? (To say nothing of the likelihood that even when she becomes actually “old” she will still probably look like a million bucks and of course still sport the formidable mind… Perhaps someone with real concerns along these lines should have been given the assignment)
Perhaps she pitched the idea herself.
Perhaps she pitched the idea herself.
Rosenfield is generally one of the best social commentators in the industry but on this topic I just don’t know what to make of it. She is both objectively physically attractive and intellectually at the top of her game. What’s not to love so why all the premature against ? (To say nothing of the likelihood that even when she becomes actually “old” she will still probably look like a million bucks and of course still sport the formidable mind… Perhaps someone with real concerns along these lines should have been given the assignment)
Kat, you obviously haven’t asked heterosexual men. The “Wall” is very real, not something mythological forged out of revenge. It’s an evolutionary fact that men of all socioeconomic status are drawn to young, fertile women. Ignoring or debating this biological reality sets your female followers up for disappointment or disillusionment once it’s too late to land a high-quality mate and start a family. That may not be the right path for you, or some other women, but for many motherhood and matriarchy is the only path to true fulfillment in life.
They’re attracted even more to wealthy women who may be able to financially support them.
Liar.
Most men don’t even care if the girl they’re dating is homeless and in debt.
Not from my personal experience.
Have you been involved with people in debt and who are homeless. ?
Good grief Sam, there you go again making sweeping generalizations. But, yes, some men don’t care much about anything as long as she’s willing.
Not from my personal experience.
Have you been involved with people in debt and who are homeless. ?
Good grief Sam, there you go again making sweeping generalizations. But, yes, some men don’t care much about anything as long as she’s willing.
Not according to academic research. Women are far more attracted to wealthy and powerful men than the reverse.
Liar.
Most men don’t even care if the girl they’re dating is homeless and in debt.
Not according to academic research. Women are far more attracted to wealthy and powerful men than the reverse.
I think that’s true and the most importan thing is that it’s a choice. There was a time when women didn’t have a choice. They had to get married and breed or not survive.
Clare
It all depends. When I was younger, thinner and married it seemed to be all about attractiveness and being a challenge because I was married.
After my husband’s death six years ago, there were four very unwelcome “suitors” after my money and property. I promptly got them out of my life since I am happy with my life now and don’t want anyone interfering with any aspect of it. My husband was my perfect match and true love. No one can ever replace him, especially an ancient golddigger.
Because women are finally making financial gains, men who are not well off financially may be in the same position as women have been in throughout history.
“Do I marry the exciting bad boy who’ll break my heart or do I settle down with the boring, loving, stable supportive guy?” So many of my friends got into that situation and made the wrong choice. They married the bad boy and ended up poor and divorced.
And one final thought – if women have financial freedom, will they have multiple attractive husbands as Doris Duke had?
Thank you for sharing your life experience Paula. I’m glad that everything worked out for you. In your comment you referred to the difficult choice women had to make when they married, as if that was the only choice. Having never married I would say that it is also a viable choice,
It’s much better now for women and men that there aren’t the social or financial pressures to be married. I didn’t have to marry, but I’d found my soul mate and things were better for me that way. Marital status is now a personal choice, rather a social or financial necessity which it’s what it always should have been.
Men should be happy about these developments. It makes better marriages when people marry because they want to do so, not because of social pressures.
It’s refreshing to read your comments and get the POV of someone who never married on these matters. Please keep posting.
Thank you, I will. You too.
Yes and this ‘choice’ has led to plunging fertility in virtually ever advanced economy with the inevitable consequences of demographic collapse. Nice for the generations that reaped the benefits perhaps. But we’re not leaving much of a cultural heritage to subsequent generations except a shrug and a less than reassuring “you’ll figure it out”.
I don’t know the answer to any of this to be clear. I’m merely pointing out that the bill is in the post.
Thank you, I will. You too.
Yes and this ‘choice’ has led to plunging fertility in virtually ever advanced economy with the inevitable consequences of demographic collapse. Nice for the generations that reaped the benefits perhaps. But we’re not leaving much of a cultural heritage to subsequent generations except a shrug and a less than reassuring “you’ll figure it out”.
I don’t know the answer to any of this to be clear. I’m merely pointing out that the bill is in the post.
Marriage is no longer the only choice for women, or men for that matter. Neither is having children. And it makes for individuals freer to pursue their own defined-by-them life achievements/goals/dreams, you name it, rather than those imposed by a still very much patriarchal gender-coded society.
Agreed. Everyone should be happier, especially the children who have parents who actually had them because they wanted them, not because “that’s what everyone is supposed to do.”
And guys, it does help you as well. You can pursue a healthy life/work balance rather than being on the “breadwinner” treadmill. People can follow their own goals, whether it’s as an executive, a tradesperson, a scientist, an artist, a stay at home parent, or whatever is suitable. This is much better for everyone, women and men.
Thank you Danielle for your cogent post.
And having parents who really love each other and got married for the right reasons, I think we would all agree is very important.
I don’t actually know much about Barbie but I assume she never married or had children, right?
And having parents who really love each other and got married for the right reasons, I think we would all agree is very important.
I don’t actually know much about Barbie but I assume she never married or had children, right?
Agreed. Everyone should be happier, especially the children who have parents who actually had them because they wanted them, not because “that’s what everyone is supposed to do.”
And guys, it does help you as well. You can pursue a healthy life/work balance rather than being on the “breadwinner” treadmill. People can follow their own goals, whether it’s as an executive, a tradesperson, a scientist, an artist, a stay at home parent, or whatever is suitable. This is much better for everyone, women and men.
Thank you Danielle for your cogent post.
It’s much better now for women and men that there aren’t the social or financial pressures to be married. I didn’t have to marry, but I’d found my soul mate and things were better for me that way. Marital status is now a personal choice, rather a social or financial necessity which it’s what it always should have been.
Men should be happy about these developments. It makes better marriages when people marry because they want to do so, not because of social pressures.
It’s refreshing to read your comments and get the POV of someone who never married on these matters. Please keep posting.
Marriage is no longer the only choice for women, or men for that matter. Neither is having children. And it makes for individuals freer to pursue their own defined-by-them life achievements/goals/dreams, you name it, rather than those imposed by a still very much patriarchal gender-coded society.
Thank you for sharing your life experience Paula. I’m glad that everything worked out for you. In your comment you referred to the difficult choice women had to make when they married, as if that was the only choice. Having never married I would say that it is also a viable choice,
Clare
It all depends. When I was younger, thinner and married it seemed to be all about attractiveness and being a challenge because I was married.
After my husband’s death six years ago, there were four very unwelcome “suitors” after my money and property. I promptly got them out of my life since I am happy with my life now and don’t want anyone interfering with any aspect of it. My husband was my perfect match and true love. No one can ever replace him, especially an ancient golddigger.
Because women are finally making financial gains, men who are not well off financially may be in the same position as women have been in throughout history.
“Do I marry the exciting bad boy who’ll break my heart or do I settle down with the boring, loving, stable supportive guy?” So many of my friends got into that situation and made the wrong choice. They married the bad boy and ended up poor and divorced.
And one final thought – if women have financial freedom, will they have multiple attractive husbands as Doris Duke had?
They’re attracted even more to wealthy women who may be able to financially support them.
I think that’s true and the most importan thing is that it’s a choice. There was a time when women didn’t have a choice. They had to get married and breed or not survive.
Kat, you obviously haven’t asked heterosexual men. The “Wall” is very real, not something mythological forged out of revenge. It’s an evolutionary fact that men of all socioeconomic status are drawn to young, fertile women. Ignoring or debating this biological reality sets your female followers up for disappointment or disillusionment once it’s too late to land a high-quality mate and start a family. That may not be the right path for you, or some other women, but for many motherhood and matriarchy is the only path to true fulfillment in life.
Barbie is a descendant of Lilli, a good time girl launched in a strip cartoon in Bild-Zeitung in Hamburg in 1952. Apparently the artist drew her to fill up some blank space in the newspaper and never imagined her having a long term future. But popular demand kept her in the newspaper and encouraged a Lilli doll spinoff targeting her adult male readers – not little girls.
https://time.com/3731483/barbie-history/
In 2003, I visited the wonderful toy museum in Prague. Toys portray cultural, architectural, agricultural, military and technological history. The Prague museum had plenty of toy animals, soldiers, trains, etc.. But it also had a display of hundreds of Barbies in a dazzling array of costumes – including a one-off prototype of a Hapsburg era Barbie in long fur coat and fur hat. Sadly this never made it to mass production. And they had Barbie’s disreputable Hamburg ancestor. The 1950s Lilli was definitely an adult product for the adult male market.
Barbie is a descendant of Lilli, a good time girl launched in a strip cartoon in Bild-Zeitung in Hamburg in 1952. Apparently the artist drew her to fill up some blank space in the newspaper and never imagined her having a long term future. But popular demand kept her in the newspaper and encouraged a Lilli doll spinoff targeting her adult male readers – not little girls.
https://time.com/3731483/barbie-history/
In 2003, I visited the wonderful toy museum in Prague. Toys portray cultural, architectural, agricultural, military and technological history. The Prague museum had plenty of toy animals, soldiers, trains, etc.. But it also had a display of hundreds of Barbies in a dazzling array of costumes – including a one-off prototype of a Hapsburg era Barbie in long fur coat and fur hat. Sadly this never made it to mass production. And they had Barbie’s disreputable Hamburg ancestor. The 1950s Lilli was definitely an adult product for the adult male market.
It definitely seems like this essay could have been improved by, you know, actually watching the film it references repeatedly before publication!!
It definitely seems like this essay could have been improved by, you know, actually watching the film it references repeatedly before publication!!
I always thought women were more interested in how to get into STEM subjects than dolls.
Good point. Dolls are not very interested in how to get into STEM subjects.
That is, unless they’re talking about STEM being a “modest plastic bulge where their manhood should be.”
That is, unless they’re talking about STEM being a “modest plastic bulge where their manhood should be.”
We’re interested in a lot of things along with STEM. Art, music, literature, etc. as well as science.
I’m going to have to google STEM.
Good point. Dolls are not very interested in how to get into STEM subjects.
We’re interested in a lot of things along with STEM. Art, music, literature, etc. as well as science.
I’m going to have to google STEM.
I always thought women were more interested in how to get into STEM subjects than dolls.
“The negging came, of course, from a bunch of internet Kens: men who, figuratively speaking, clearly have naught but a modest plastic bulge where their manhood should be.”
Surely, there is some offense I can take to this. Internet, help me out?
Fine essay.
It was a very funny line.I thought it was her best description.
Very funny indeed, but bound to hurt the sensitive egos of some of our male counterparts…
Very funny indeed, but bound to hurt the sensitive egos of some of our male counterparts…
It was a very funny line.I thought it was her best description.
“The negging came, of course, from a bunch of internet Kens: men who, figuratively speaking, clearly have naught but a modest plastic bulge where their manhood should be.”
Surely, there is some offense I can take to this. Internet, help me out?
Fine essay.
What’s that Freud quote: ‘There’s only one question is psychiatry: ‘What do women want?”
They don’t know what they want but they sure can whine and b***h eternally about not having it. The good news is that most of this is confined to the rich white liberal wimin who, really, have no purpose at all other than to voice their discontent. Most women, even in the West, still know perfectly well who they are and what they want. Tho the feminists have been trying hard for decades to destroy that normalcy it yet survives.
BTW, yes, Robbie is too old. Barbie is 18 forever.
What’s that Freud quote: ‘There’s only one question is psychiatry: ‘What do women want?”
They don’t know what they want but they sure can whine and b***h eternally about not having it. The good news is that most of this is confined to the rich white liberal wimin who, really, have no purpose at all other than to voice their discontent. Most women, even in the West, still know perfectly well who they are and what they want. Tho the feminists have been trying hard for decades to destroy that normalcy it yet survives.
BTW, yes, Robbie is too old. Barbie is 18 forever.
Wow, they let Barbie be played by an actual woman! Hooray!
There’s a very obvious trans-Barbie in the movie, too. No trans-Ken though.
Next time around Barbie will be a transwoman. Actually, it’s rather surprising she wasn’t one this time. It’s certainly a rather camp character with no genitals.
Next time around Barbie will be a transwoman. Actually, it’s rather surprising she wasn’t one this time. It’s certainly a rather camp character with no genitals.
There’s a very obvious trans-Barbie in the movie, too. No trans-Ken though.
Wow, they let Barbie be played by an actual woman! Hooray!
This article is pure drivel – and its not what I subscribe to Unherd for. No more please!
You can choose not to read it, Nikki. I think the commenters have gotten quite a bit of mileage out of it.
I normally like this particular writer so I gave it a go, and wished I hadn’t wasted my time. C’est la vie.
I normally like this particular writer so I gave it a go, and wished I hadn’t wasted my time. C’est la vie.
You can choose not to read it, Nikki. I think the commenters have gotten quite a bit of mileage out of it.
This article is pure drivel – and its not what I subscribe to Unherd for. No more please!
There are some interesting questions here, but another piece could explore the impact and status of Barbie for young girls. By all accounts the movie ignores that aspect, which is a shame, considering all the myriad disssolving influences for girls today.
Very good point.
Very good point.
There are some interesting questions here, but another piece could explore the impact and status of Barbie for young girls. By all accounts the movie ignores that aspect, which is a shame, considering all the myriad disssolving influences for girls today.
You’re a woman now in your 40’s, you’ve achieved nothing of note, you have no profession, no professional qualifications, what looks you have are fading, and all you have left is self obsession. And, if you’re a feminist, all your disappointments are the fault of ‘men’. But, on the bright side, you can inflict them on the readers of UnHerd.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
You’re a woman now in your 40’s, you’ve achieved nothing of note, you have no profession, no professional qualifications, what looks you have are fading, and all you have left is self obsession. And, if you’re a feminist, all your disappointments are the fault of ‘men’. But, on the bright side, you can inflict them on the readers of UnHerd.
Feminists nowadays seem to hate the idea that there can be very feminine women who are subversive, such as Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, Modesty Blaise, Lilli (the original Barbie before Ruth Handler removed the brain) etc etc.
How did that happen?
Feminists nowadays seem to hate the idea that there can be very feminine women who are subversive, such as Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, Modesty Blaise, Lilli (the original Barbie before Ruth Handler removed the brain) etc etc.
How did that happen?
I’m actually off to see this movie with my wife and her parents today. My wife asked if I had any plans for today and I made the ages-old mistake of saying that I didn’t.
I saw it with my kids yesterday. It’s as subtle as a brick to the head, isn’t it? I actually had high hopes for this one.
It was a study in contemporary narcissistic neuroticism. My wife and her parents enjoyed the film immensely while I was left wondering how the hell does an almost 50-year old man end up watching a film about a children’s toy. Could be a cultural thing. My wife’s family are American and I’m British. Barbie wasn’t all that much of a cultural icon to me growing up.
It was a study in contemporary narcissistic neuroticism. My wife and her parents enjoyed the film immensely while I was left wondering how the hell does an almost 50-year old man end up watching a film about a children’s toy. Could be a cultural thing. My wife’s family are American and I’m British. Barbie wasn’t all that much of a cultural icon to me growing up.
Funny!
I saw it with my kids yesterday. It’s as subtle as a brick to the head, isn’t it? I actually had high hopes for this one.
Funny!
I’m actually off to see this movie with my wife and her parents today. My wife asked if I had any plans for today and I made the ages-old mistake of saying that I didn’t.
Haven’t seen the film yet, but from what I can gather:
And yet in the film, Barbieland seems to presented not as a parody of what our world has become – but as a kind of mirror reflection. Meanwhile, in the real world outside Barbieland, it’s still end to end patriarchy.
Hardly surprising. As I noted above, Barbie’s plastic German ancestor Lilli was aimed at the local adult males, not little girls.
Exactly, and it’s still the old white farts in power.
Not currently in the U.K.
Who will have you know that white males are “under attack”.
That’s quite the ageist and racist remark.
Not if you look at politics in the US.
Not if you look at politics in the US.
Not currently in the U.K.
Who will have you know that white males are “under attack”.
That’s quite the ageist and racist remark.
Hardly surprising. As I noted above, Barbie’s plastic German ancestor Lilli was aimed at the local adult males, not little girls.
Exactly, and it’s still the old white farts in power.
Haven’t seen the film yet, but from what I can gather:
And yet in the film, Barbieland seems to presented not as a parody of what our world has become – but as a kind of mirror reflection. Meanwhile, in the real world outside Barbieland, it’s still end to end patriarchy.
I’m reminded here how lucky I am to be born a man and to not have to obsess over mind-numbing existential corporate questions like being asked to make the coffee. My wife, on the other hand, has always “made the coffee”, even in the last 5 years, when she literally earned and was paid more than the other four souls doing her job put together. She has always understood that there is a man’s world, a woman’s world, and HER world. And yes, she has always been gracious enough to let the rest of us live in it. And drink her godawful coffee.
Well done, sir. As long as your wife is happy you’re a successful man. Others may not agree agree with your or your wife’s values, but they’re irrelevant. To each their own. Live and let live. Hats off to you!
And her.
And her.
yes, Ben,you are lucky to have been born a man for many different reasons.
Everyone has their own cross to bear. The idea that we’re lucky to be this or that is nonsense, narcissistic and solipsistic frankly.
It goes without saying that we all have own cross to bear, however, some of us are born with more of an advantage than others, that’s for sure. I was born white and that’s an advantage.
“Advantage” in what context? Many people born into power and privilege are completely miserable. It doesn’t come without a cost, even if you did nothing to earn it. Seeing the world through the lens of privilege is reductive nonsense. Why would you waste your time with such garbage when your civilisation gave you Aristotle?
As for being “white”, do you mean an advantage in white majority countries? It is not an advantage to be born Han Chinese in China? Or Japanese in Japan? Or Indian in India?
“Advantage” in what context? Many people born into power and privilege are completely miserable. It doesn’t come without a cost, even if you did nothing to earn it. Seeing the world through the lens of privilege is reductive nonsense. Why would you waste your time with such garbage when your civilisation gave you Aristotle?
As for being “white”, do you mean an advantage in white majority countries? It is not an advantage to be born Han Chinese in China? Or Japanese in Japan? Or Indian in India?
It goes without saying that we all have own cross to bear, however, some of us are born with more of an advantage than others, that’s for sure. I was born white and that’s an advantage.
Everyone has their own cross to bear. The idea that we’re lucky to be this or that is nonsense, narcissistic and solipsistic frankly.
Ben
I hope her coworkers appreciated her for her cooperative professionalism and gave her the positive recognition she appears to deserve.
Where does your wife work? I’ve worked with some fairly “toxic” male dominated environments over my 17 years in the workforce and have never seen a woman treated this way. As a grad I used to take turns with my ‘pod mates’ to make the tea and coffee, one of which was a woman. Just my experience.
Well done, sir. As long as your wife is happy you’re a successful man. Others may not agree agree with your or your wife’s values, but they’re irrelevant. To each their own. Live and let live. Hats off to you!
yes, Ben,you are lucky to have been born a man for many different reasons.
Ben
I hope her coworkers appreciated her for her cooperative professionalism and gave her the positive recognition she appears to deserve.
Where does your wife work? I’ve worked with some fairly “toxic” male dominated environments over my 17 years in the workforce and have never seen a woman treated this way. As a grad I used to take turns with my ‘pod mates’ to make the tea and coffee, one of which was a woman. Just my experience.
I’m reminded here how lucky I am to be born a man and to not have to obsess over mind-numbing existential corporate questions like being asked to make the coffee. My wife, on the other hand, has always “made the coffee”, even in the last 5 years, when she literally earned and was paid more than the other four souls doing her job put together. She has always understood that there is a man’s world, a woman’s world, and HER world. And yes, she has always been gracious enough to let the rest of us live in it. And drink her godawful coffee.
Kat Rosenfield is always insightful, but do I think Barbie tends to act as a sort of Rorschach test onto which we project our collective cultural anxieties, whatever those may be (the contradictions of millennial femininity, as here; the transformation of feminism into bio-libertarianism, as in Mary Harrington’s recent Substack: https://reactionaryfeminist.substack.com/p/barbies-beauty-standards).
In fairness, most of these pieces seem to be meditations on the film as much as the Barbie doll itself, and I can’t speak to that, not having seen it. However, I think that if we move beyond what Barbie has come to symbolise for feminists of all shades and stripes, her role in girls’ lives is much more straightforward: she’s a doll – nothing less and nothing more. As a doll, she gets incorporated into whatever games we’re playing, whatever those may be, and she gets transformed in the process.
Do some girls exclusively play dress up with Barbie? Sure, but for my own part, I had a ‘fight club’ Barbie (technically ‘winking Barbie’, she looked like she had a perpetual black eye). I also had a Barbie SWAT team that frequently had to rescue Ken from perilous James Bond-type situations – although that was in part because I only had one Ken, so he was always getting kidnapped.
It’s worth noting that boys’ toys often have proportions that are equally unrealistic to Barbie (this is discussed at length in the book ‘The Adonis Complex’) but haven’t been subject to the decades of agonised dissection that Barbie has. Anyway, for an alternative perspective, you can read my defence of Barbie here: https://silentbutdeadly.substack.com/p/barbie-and-me
Kat Rosenfield is always insightful, but do I think Barbie tends to act as a sort of Rorschach test onto which we project our collective cultural anxieties, whatever those may be (the contradictions of millennial femininity, as here; the transformation of feminism into bio-libertarianism, as in Mary Harrington’s recent Substack: https://reactionaryfeminist.substack.com/p/barbies-beauty-standards).
In fairness, most of these pieces seem to be meditations on the film as much as the Barbie doll itself, and I can’t speak to that, not having seen it. However, I think that if we move beyond what Barbie has come to symbolise for feminists of all shades and stripes, her role in girls’ lives is much more straightforward: she’s a doll – nothing less and nothing more. As a doll, she gets incorporated into whatever games we’re playing, whatever those may be, and she gets transformed in the process.
Do some girls exclusively play dress up with Barbie? Sure, but for my own part, I had a ‘fight club’ Barbie (technically ‘winking Barbie’, she looked like she had a perpetual black eye). I also had a Barbie SWAT team that frequently had to rescue Ken from perilous James Bond-type situations – although that was in part because I only had one Ken, so he was always getting kidnapped.
It’s worth noting that boys’ toys often have proportions that are equally unrealistic to Barbie (this is discussed at length in the book ‘The Adonis Complex’) but haven’t been subject to the decades of agonised dissection that Barbie has. Anyway, for an alternative perspective, you can read my defence of Barbie here: https://silentbutdeadly.substack.com/p/barbie-and-me
Not all girls play with dolls by a long shot. I, for one, never had any interest in them and could never understand the Barbie thing. She was asthetically unappealing to me so her enormous, commercial success was always a mystery. Then, as now, I’m also mystified when I hear that, apparently, all little girls dream of a white wedding. I should add that I’m a straight, biological woman.
Same here – I preferred my toy cars and garage.
Same here – I preferred my toy cars and garage.
Not all girls play with dolls by a long shot. I, for one, never had any interest in them and could never understand the Barbie thing. She was asthetically unappealing to me so her enormous, commercial success was always a mystery. Then, as now, I’m also mystified when I hear that, apparently, all little girls dream of a white wedding. I should add that I’m a straight, biological woman.
“in a world where women are out-achieving men…” – wait, isn’t this supposed to be a male-dominated society?
“in a world where women are out-achieving men…” – wait, isn’t this supposed to be a male-dominated society?
Women always had at least equal power. Then they decided to pursue equal power, and lost it.
Women always had at least equal power. Then they decided to pursue equal power, and lost it.
What does a women want? To intellectualize a grouse, it seems, in certain over-educated quarters. But what’s the grouse, then? Beats the hell out of me, ‘over-achiever’ that she evidently now is. Perhaps ‘the dying of her cultural relevance’, whatever that means. But there’s always something. I think we ought to draw the line, though, at dolls having an existential crisis. ( And while we’re on the subject: can we ban the word existential for at least a dozen generations? Every problem is existential these days. And nothing is essential. )
What does a women want? To intellectualize a grouse, it seems, in certain over-educated quarters. But what’s the grouse, then? Beats the hell out of me, ‘over-achiever’ that she evidently now is. Perhaps ‘the dying of her cultural relevance’, whatever that means. But there’s always something. I think we ought to draw the line, though, at dolls having an existential crisis. ( And while we’re on the subject: can we ban the word existential for at least a dozen generations? Every problem is existential these days. And nothing is essential. )
So brilliant. I love this writer.
Really? Why?
Really? Why?
So brilliant. I love this writer.