Give it Rashford till the end of the season (David Ramos/Getty Images)
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When he played football, Gary Neville was often compared to a rat. He was never beautiful, not in his callow face, and certainly not on the pitch; no one made that claim for him. In 600 appearances for Manchester United and Sir Alex Ferguson, the right-back won everything, while demonstrating every rat-like quality there is along the way.
Neville was cunning, compact, obscurely dirty, always twitchily bothered by something, and vicious in small ways. And he was, like rats everywhere, derided. Neville, said Carlos Tevez, was a “sock-sucker”; less an enforcer of his manager’s wishes than a dogsbody, not a loyalist but a sycophant. Nobody, chuckled Jamie Carragher, wanted to grow up and be Gary Neville. His fellow players mocked him for travelling to away games with his own bowl, spoon, and box of Weetabix. The cereal, he touchingly remembered, “became my thing”.
A lack of imagination, doggedness, and blind loyalty are not bad qualities for a footballer to have. Neville might not “possess the natural talent of some of his team mates”, said his manager, but that just made him work harder. In an industry which rewards over-conditioning and astronaut dullness, Neville was both. In his playing days you could rely on Gary to be at home tucked up in bed every Friday night by 9pm. He retired widely regarded as the greatest English right-back of his generation, and widely despised outside of red Manchester.
Now the rat has found a sinking ship. In January Neville joined the Labour Party. By the turn of the year, he had already clashed with Edwina Currie on Good Morning Britain over Universal Credit, said many angry things about Brexit, and tweeted scathingly about Boris Johnson — essential requisites for a political career in England.
A few weeks ago Neville joined Keir Starmer for a dinner at Manchester’s fancy Vermillion restaurant. More than 700 people attended, which was the largest turnout for a Labour fundraiser in over a decade. He is being touted as a future MP, or Manchester Mayor. The prospect is being taken seriously in the city, where Neville owns a football club, businesses and a university. A Labour source told the press: “He’ll be a fantastic high-profile spokesperson for the party.”
They are probably right. To understand why, you have to consider the public transformation he enjoyed in the last decade. After he retired, Neville joined Sky Sports as a pundit. Football punditry was a lazy towel-slapping, jowly blokes club back then, where the standard of analysis barely hovered above that offered by the drunkest bar-propper in your local.
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Subscribe“Football — and this is the new standard view — is not entertainment, but a way of twisting social dials, of changing things for the better.”
We now live in a world where celebrities in Hollywood who live in amazing luxury, fly in private jets and are surrounded by 24/7 security think they are in some way qualified to tell the plebs what to think.
The same is now true of footballers that earn more in a week than fans earn in five years and who have never had a ‘normal’ job and live lives that are beyond the wildest dreams of the plebs. But once again they feel qualified to tell the plebs what they should be thinking.
Instead of premiership footballers telling fans what to think and flying flags for BLM, LGBTQ+ and now Ukraine how about these footballers give up just 10% of their insane wages and put all that money towards building sports centres for young kids of all skin colours, genders, ethnicity, religion, etc. This would help get the kids away from their screens, encourage them to meet and mix with others from different backgrounds, and get fit in the process. It would make a real difference.
Or maybe it is just cheaper and easier to just pontificate and virtue signal from the luxury of your Cheshire mansion or super-yacht.
I am sure Mr Neville is a nice guy, and hopefully his heart is in the right place, but I think some people, are getting a little fed up of the other Gary telling us all what to think.
If a Sky Sports pundit was attempting to build a career in the Tories, they would be crucified by the media and on social media, and certainly wouldn’t be left in place for the big games by Sky. Neville is well meaning but football is a savage industry which swoops up small kids with potential at a very young age, dangles a dream in front of them, and then spits most of them out by their late teens, doing tremendous damage in many cases. Not to mention its long history of widespread child abuse, which in contrast to that of the Catholic Church, has not been used to undermine it. No other industry is allowed to behave in that way. Neville has very little to say about any of that.
That comparison underplays the covering up of paedophilia in the Catholic Church over centuries.
Children’s activities will always attract paedophiles – but few will systematically protect these appalling rapists as thoroughly as the Catholic Church organisation has always done.
The Catholic Church deserves all the criticism it gets for this “defensive capability”.
The only thing exceptional about pedophilia in the Catholic Church is the extreme focus on it by the media and the political class. They have no such interest in the pedophilia rampant in the gay community, from whom they get votes and not competition.
I suspect that this increased focus is largely driven by the historical “claim to moral authority” made by religious bodies, which makes the execution of these hateful crimes by priests/vicars seem even more egregious.
Wow, that was one of the most scathing articles I’ve ever read. Neville seems to have induced some of his own negative characteristics in the usually reasonable Will Lloyd.
Great piece of writing, though. Heaven help Neville if he’s ever elected to office. That’ll set Will Lloyd’s teeth on edge.
I can only assume that the author is a Liverpool fan … who like me struggles to come to terms with just how good Neville is as a football pundit.
I don’t know, Lloyd seems to me to be building up quite a track record on the scathing-yet-insightful front. More like this!
Will undermines his whole argument with that last question. Asked whether a woman can have a p e n i s, Gary will answer immediately, and scornfully, “no,” and a world of pain for Labour will go away as it’s polling gurus watch his 2 million Twitter followers (football fans) heartily endorse him.
He could, like Corbyn, be very successful by just being himself.
That said, I still hate him. One of my favourite memories is of Shaun Goater skinning him to score in an unexpected 3-1 Derby win, for my beloved City, at Maine Road. That, and his obvious distress at being there for the glorious Agueroo moment at the Etihad.
‘traumatised by marginalia’ is a wonderful phrase and I would pay good money to hear Jamie Carragher say it
… ain’t gonna happen 🙂
Neville is a Champagne Socialist just like Boris Johnson.The article using Andy Gray as an example of a lazy pre-Neville soccer analyst is a mistake.However sexist Gray was he was also the best UK soccer analyst of his era and a major reason why Sky Sports was able to build up a big audience.
Neville and Carragher are better than the current BBC MOTD analysts which is not that different to have achieved
He seems perfectly fitted for the zeitgeist: authoritarian, small-minded, puritanical. I’m sure the woke borg will enjoy suborning him and using him for their nefarious purposes.
They’ve already done it.
This is a great read. Gary Neville complained yesterday about the players at his former club not working hard enough and in particular being too egotistical. He would know.
I am a United fan and liked, neigh even admired him as a player, but his current level of hubris is off the scale.
I will watch his potential political career with interest and suspect that he finds out very quickly that power and responsibility in a proper job like being an MP or mayor is way more difficult than motivating your team mates or mouthing off on twitter.
Addendum:
I would also add that Neville has been complaining bitterly about the Man United ownership. That would be the same owners for whom he played under for 6 years and earnt around £15 million in wages alone. I don’t remember him complaining about them at the time.
All of Neville’s political action is rooted in the fight against the Super League. Also, what is the author of the article mocking Neville about? For standing against those boring pundits and raising the voice when arguing with them? Is he being mocked for unherding the world of punditry?