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November 3, 2024 - 7:30pm
The modern American bureaucratic state revealed itself in all its absurd glory last week, not through some grand policy initiative or sweeping regulation, but through the tale of a squirrel known as “P’Nut.” In an era of endless crises — migrant surges, shrinking police forces, rising urban crime, housing shortages — New York state marshalled its considerable resources toward a singular mission: dispatching 10 agents to conduct an extensive raid targeting a rescue animal with a social media following.
The resulting spectacle would be comedic if it weren’t so emblematic of institutional decay. Here was a state agency deploying a small army of officials to spend five hours searching a private residence, right down to the plumbing fixtures, all to seize a seven-year-old squirrel living peacefully in upstate New York. The agents even found time to interrogate the immigration status of the owner’s German wife, while preventing the care of other rescue animals on the property.
The deeper story here isn’t about P’nut, who was euthanised after allegedly biting an officer wearing protective gear. It’s about how a single complaint could activate such a disproportionate display of state power. That someone would weaponise state power against a rescue animal reveals how easily regulatory systems can be manipulated for personal vendettas.
A Connecticut native who moved to Pine City to establish an animal sanctuary, Mark Longo funded his rescue work through his pornographic “SquirrelDaddy” OnlyFans account while building a following of millions around his rehabilitated squirrel. When P’nut’s mother was killed by a car seven years ago, Longo took in the orphaned kit, eventually discovering the animal lacked survival instincts for release. Rather than abandoning the creature, he provided a home and — amid his pornographic exploits — inadvertently created a social media star.
The incident has produced some strange political bedfellows. Elon Musk’s social media platform erupted with tributes while MAGA activists declared only Trump could prevent future squirrel seizures. Meanwhile, Democratic California Congressman Ro Khanna and Republican New York State Senator Thomas O’Mara found themselves unlikely allies in condemning the raid. “On its face, this was an absurd abuse of government power to issue a search warrant, enter this man’s home, ask about his wife’s immigration status, and kill their squirrel pet of 7 years,” Khanna posted on X. O’Mara was even more pointed: “Everything else our government looks the other way on as far as illegal immigrants but then come down on someone harboring a squirrel.”
The bureaucratic gymnastics are dizzying. The Department of Environmental Conservation claims they acted on complaints about a raccoon named Fred, yet Longo contends this was merely a pretext to seize P’nut. Adding insult to injury, authorities didn’t even directly inform Longo of P’nut’s death — he learned about it through local media reports.
P’nut’s tale resonates because it lays bare the machinery of state power in its most unvarnished form. When government agencies expend more energy hunting social media squirrels than addressing systemic societal issues that lead to completely senseless murders like that of New York homeless activist Ryan Carson, they expose the hollowness at the heart of modern bureaucracy. That a single complaint could trigger such an overwhelming response suggests a system operating on autopilot, disconnected from any meaningful sense of proportion or public good.
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Subscribef*****g insanity
I’m truly at a loss for words.
Not having heard the government’s side of the story, I’m a little skeptical of Mark Longo’s account. By telling a harrowing story of how 10 state officials came and harassed him and his wife for 5 hours, he now has nationwide free advertising for his Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, X and OnlyFans (his “kinky” site where he goes by SquirrelDaddy) sites, where he has millions of followers.
I don’t know the whole story, of course, but I doubt Mark Longo’s account gives a fair picture of what happened. Why would the government send 10 agents to spend 5 hours “trashing” his house? I can’t think why. I can see why they would want to investigate a raccoon living with humans, and see and seize the squirrel too.
An animal can have rabies and be infectious without showing symptoms. Rabies did not spread to that area of New York — the Southern Tier — until the 1990s. Now it has become endemic and is increasing. The government would like to control the spread, and in that area it is mainly in raccoons, but squirrels as well. The only way to test an animal for rabies is to kill it and examine brain tissue. Humans exposed to rabies need to take shots immediately, as if they wait until symptoms appear, they will surely die.
With my skepticism, I don’t mean to say that the government doesn’t bungle things. They do. Justice Neil Gorsuch and his former law clerk published a book recently called Over Ruled that collects stories from around the country and over the years where the government was overzealous in its rules and enforcement of them. But those stories are clearly very much the exception, not the rule.
This P’nut story may indeed be one of overkill by the government. Even if not, there are problems with administrative agencies going overboard. But what is the solution? Too aggressive and they end up with stories like this one. Too lenient and people around the country start thinking they should keep rabies-susceptible squirrels (basically, rats with better tails) as pets too. It’s hard, like Goldilocks, to get it just right.
We need BBC Verify on the job. They’ll soon get to the truth
Sure thing but whose truth?
Where’s Packham when he’s needed
I think you need to get a grip. Big government is not there to save you.
I’m just skeptical of social media performers when they tell stories like this. I’d like to read an account of what happened by a real reporter who talked to both sides and asked questions instead of just credulously reporting what Mark Longo said.
Rabies is a real problem. It doesn’t help when social media performers adopt a squirrel and a raccoon into their home and perhaps inspire others among their millions of followers to do the same. It is a dangerous practice that I think is rightfully against the law.
That said, it does sound like government overkill. I just wish Oliver Bateman’s story was not overkill as well.
I realize you’re just playing contrarian here but I think you’re tilting a little too far the other way. I heard Gorsuch talk about the magician that had to jump through years of hoops for his rabbit.
This type of enforcement is unnecessary if the animal is not putting the public directly at risk. The idea that others could be “inspired” to take in their own squirrels is not something that any government needs to be wasting their time on. It’s an invitation for arbitrary enforcement and pointless expenditure of resources.
I’m not trying to play contrarian. The rabbit story in Neil Gorsuch’s book is a case of a pointless regulation. A disaster preparedness plan for a pet is silly. Enforcing the law about keeping wildlife as pets is not pointless or silly.
Rabies used to not be a problem in that area of New York until the 1990s. Now it is a problem and people bringing raccoons and squirrels into their homes is a danger to public safety. Things like that spread the disease. Every state has laws against it.
If there really were 10 armed officers who came in a convoy and ransacked Mark Longo’s house for 5 hours, refusing to let them use the toilet or take care of their outside animals, those officers should be punished.
But seizing illegally kept wild animals and testing them for rabies should not be punished. That is the officers’ job. A man who is using his illegal pet squirrel as an advertisement for his OnlyFans site should know he is liable to have his squirrel removed.
This sort of behaviour is all in a day’s work here in the UK. During Foot and Mouth, over TB, and other alleged animal epidemics many pets and domestic animals were seized in just such a brutal manner and “euthanised” with zero skill or empathy. F&M was used to silence uppity farmers over the fuel crisis and other serious causes of unrest in the countryside. Modelled by Blair’s man Fergusson, it proved a useful exercise in the efficacy of mathematical modelling, bullying and lies as a means of population control.
Why do you think they have commanded you to register your chickens on pain of a £3,000 fine should you disobey?
Government officials do tend to go overboard. But foot and mouth disease is a big, big problem. So is rabies. The last thing we need is a guy on social media promoting the idea that it’s fun to keep unvaccinated wild animals as pets inside your home.
Thankfully we don’t have rabies in the uk but, with the state of our border control, I doubt it’s for much longer.
Already seeing diseases which we had irradicated decades ago starting to reapper thanks to the influx of “irregular” visitors.
Not sure why the down vote.
If people are coming inito this country from placces where diseases such as poliol, smallpox, measles, etc have not been irradicated through ongoing vaccination programs as yet (it’s a staggeringly huge job and this isn’t blaming the illegal immigrants in the sense that they’re likely unaware of their potential risk) then the resistance which has been built up over decades will be diluted.
At minimum, every single illegal immigrant (I’m assuming, hopefully, every legal immigrant is required to be fully protected against the various diseases we had eradicated) should be immediately inoculated before even beng allowed to progress from capture.
Rabies is not prevalent in the US – I looked it up. You do know that dogs can get rabies too? These officials could be knocking on lots of doors soon.
Rabies used to be rare in the Southern Tier of New York but since the 1990s it has become endemic, spread mainly through wild animals. Dogs do get rabies too, which is why states where rabies is a problem have strict dog vaccination programs. New York requires dogs to be vaccinated and has laws against keeping wild animals as pets to stop rabies from spreading.
An epidemic of rabies would cause a lot of animals to be killed and more frequent vaccinations. It’s in everyone’s interest for people like Mark Longo to stop treating a reasonable law as a joke. Better to try to stamp out rabies than to encourage its spread.
A wildlife biologist weighed in on X and stated that squirrels do not carry rabies. Further, the usual procedure is to quarantine the animal to see if it has rabies, not murder it. Don’t know why you are so sympathetic to these bureaucratic thugs. It’s a typical story.
A raccoon shared the house too, and they are the reservoir species that keeps rabies endemic in the region, ready to flare up if not controlled. The squirrel bit one of the agents. That’s why they tested both of the animals. If you quarantine the animal, and it shows symptoms later, it may be too late for the people who are exposed. There is no treatment for rabies, only a vaccine. The vaccine has to start quickly.
I don’t know what happened that day, but I am skeptical of Mark Longo’s story that a team of 10 armed agents just raided and ransacked his house for 5 hours and took away his two animals to wantonly kill them. If that is what happened, I think Mark Longo should file a lawsuit to challenge that behavior. I look forward to seeing the evidence that comes out.
This is how we change the world.
Justice for P’nut!
I wonder how long before the censorship industrial complex is censoring those very words.
The government will be releasing statements like:
P’nut bit an officer of the state, he could have progressed to squirrel extremism. He was probably a far right squirrel with toxic masculinity issues from being exposed to only fans. The states response was therefore entirely proportionate and should not be questioned.
What world do we live in. I can’t believe this is a real story. I hope there is justice for P’nut, and the poor guy that had his house raided.
Ten officers for one squirrel? Did they have reports it was armed and dangerous?
Maybe they thought they were dealing with a nutjob?
Brilliant 🙂 keep them coming.
Right wing hippy below, is the funniest so far I think.
It’s all looking like a grey area. Does the US Government still look for reds under the bed?
I can’t believe this is a real story either. It seems so unlikely to have happened. And we only have one man’s word that it did. A man who has every incentive to lie.
Even weirder is that P’nut was killed, because after biting an officer—no skin was broken—they had to test him for rabies. Rabies!!!??? P’nut lived indoors all his life. Did his companions give him rabies? Were they frothing at the mouth when they lunged for the officers’ throats.Why weren’t they euthanized so their brains could be tested? Poor P’nut, another victim of profound stupidity.
P’nut didn’t live indoors all his life. He spent lots of his time outdoors, even sleeping out there often. So did Fred the raccoon. Mark Longo and his wife just moved from a normal house in Connecticut to their farm in New York in April. I don’t think we are hearing the whole story.
My cats sleep outside often. A lot of dogs sleep outside too.
Most states require dogs to get a rabies vaccination. Cats are not as much of a problem, but they should be vaccinated too. Some states require it.
Rabies is a real problem in New York now, just starting in the last 30 years. Raccoons are a big part of the problem since they are wild but interact with humans. Squirrels as well.
The last thing we need is people like Mark Longo showing their millions of viewers that it’s fun to keep wildlife as pets.
P’nut was let out briefly, but he was attacked by other squirrels and was being stalked by cats. They decided to keep him indoors for his safety.
You must have read a different account than I did. In one report I read Mark Longo said P’nut spent about half his time outdoors. He also said that when he was young they released him to their backyard and he had trouble so they kept him inside, as you mentioned. But that was 7 years ago, long before they moved to their farm in April of this year.
Do not forget the Holy Rabbit of Antioch who ripped out a soldiers throat and caused bold Sir Robin to soil his armour.
I think that it was a were rabbit, and was killed my The holy hand granade, after sev
On the DEC’s own website it states that squirrels do not carry rabies.
First they came for the squirrels, but I did not speak out, because I was not a squirrel. Then they came for the marmots, but I did not speak out, because I was not a marmot. Then they came for the agoutis, but I did not speak out, because I was not an agouti. Then they came for me…and there was no one left to squeak for me.
Squeak when you are squoken to.
Why has this gone viral? Because it is both comedic and tragic with minuscule impact to our daily lives but with enormous implications. We all enjoy the humor but see the pathos. This is the fumbling bureaucracy of the deep state. Take note. Vote Trump.
The authorities also seized and killed Fred the raccoon.
“When government agencies expend more energy hunting social media squirrels than addressing systemic societal issues”
But this is the point people like Bateman will never understand. Once the machine is in place, it will ALWAYS produce outcomes of this kind. It always had and it always will.
Because power corrupts. That is why decentralised systems that rely on individual autonomy and sovereignty are more stable, because the power is diffuse.
That is why the right is better than the left – because whereas the left always wants a ‘better’ state, the right wants a ‘smaller’ state.
suggests a system operating on autopilot, disconnected from any meaningful sense of proportion or public good.
As is the EPA. The battle for clean air and water was largely won long ago. So what do 15,000 employees do with a $9B budget? (To start with, you declare by fiat that carbon is a pollutant.)
During the Vietnam War, there was a famous incident in which a Vietnamese village was destroyed in a hunt for VietCong. The operative phrase was “We had to destroy the village to save it”. That’s what’s going on here – an overwhelming force deployed against a guy who was saving animals.
There was no problem with Mark Longo saving P’nut the squirrel and Fred the raccoon, among the hundreds of animals he saved on the farm. The problem was bringing wildlife into his house as pets. Dogs have to be vaccinated against rabies but his raccoon wasn’t.
Once again, you failed to ascertain the facts. Longo apparently had permits to operate a wildlife sanctuary, he was allegedly awaiting one final approval. Surely the correct reasonable approach is for the state EPA to simply send an investigator to take down the facts, not burst in wiith a warrant and ransack the house.
Mark Longo didn’t have a permit to keep wildlife. He said he was going to apply for a permit but he never did. I don’t know why the New York DEC decided to do what they did, but they were following the law. Mark Longo wasn’t.
I don’t care what they say I think it’s great that the most timid and compliant reader of this paper uses the handle Carlos Danger
WTF. Really…
Squirrels should not be kept as pets. Raccoons should not be kept as pets. They are wildlife, wild animals. They have not been domesticated and they are dirty, diseased, unpredictable and just, well, wild.
Don’t let videos of a squirrel behaving well convince you otherwise. Those videos are staged. It’s hard to tell what the animal is really like and the conditions in which it is kept. But wild animals do not make pets. There’s plenty of evidence to show that. It’s why we have dogs, and not wolves instead.
The law in New York against keeping wildlife as pets is a good one. Most states have one. Some states don’t , but they don’t need to. People are generally smart enough to not let a wild animal loose in their house. It does not work out well.
It may be that the New York DEC has agents who abuse their power. Maybe this “raid” on Mark Longo’s house was wrong. Maybe the judge who signed the warrant was fooled or foolish. Maybe there was no reason to test the two animals for rabies.
We may find out more. Until we do, I will withhold judgment. I don’t think Mark Longo is telling us the whole story, yet everyone credulously believes an incredible story without doing any investigation beyond listening to what he says. Like this article by Oliver Bateman. Not a hint of skepticism or questioning of even dubious facts.
The government hasn’t contradicted Mark Longo’s story, perhaps because in a case like this they are constrained in what they can say. But Mark Longo is not constrained. If he had any hard evidence to support his statements, he could produce it.
Documents that show he had applied to be a wildlife rehabilitator. Emails, letters, or other evidence that he was trying to resolve the problem with the DEC. Photos that show his house had been trashed.
In my long career as a lawyer, I’ve learned not to lean too much on unsupported testimony. It’s just too unreliable, especially when people have a motive to lie. Like Jean Carroll with Donald Trump. I think Mark Longo’s story is too much like hers. Too bad to be true.
But I may be wrong. Maybe “squirreldaddy” with his OnlyFans account and millions of viewers on social media, is not in this, at least partially, for the money.