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November 3, 2024 - 7:30pm
The modern American bureaucratic state revealed itself in all its absurd glory last week, not through some grand policy initiative or sweeping regulation, but through the tale of a squirrel known as “P’Nut.” In an era of endless crises — migrant surges, shrinking police forces, rising urban crime, housing shortages — New York state marshalled its considerable resources toward a singular mission: dispatching 10 agents to conduct an extensive raid targeting a rescue animal with a social media following.
The resulting spectacle would be comedic if it weren’t so emblematic of institutional decay. Here was a state agency deploying a small army of officials to spend five hours searching a private residence, right down to the plumbing fixtures, all to seize a seven-year-old squirrel living peacefully in upstate New York. The agents even found time to interrogate the immigration status of the owner’s German wife, while preventing the care of other rescue animals on the property.
The deeper story here isn’t about P’nut, who was euthanised after allegedly biting an officer wearing protective gear. It’s about how a single complaint could activate such a disproportionate display of state power. That someone would weaponise state power against a rescue animal reveals how easily regulatory systems can be manipulated for personal vendettas.
A Connecticut native who moved to Pine City to establish an animal sanctuary, Mark Longo funded his rescue work through his pornographic “SquirrelDaddy” OnlyFans account while building a following of millions around his rehabilitated squirrel. When P’nut’s mother was killed by a car seven years ago, Longo took in the orphaned kit, eventually discovering the animal lacked survival instincts for release. Rather than abandoning the creature, he provided a home and — amid his pornographic exploits — inadvertently created a social media star.
The incident has produced some strange political bedfellows. Elon Musk’s social media platform erupted with tributes while MAGA activists declared only Trump could prevent future squirrel seizures. Meanwhile, Democratic California Congressman Ro Khanna and Republican New York State Senator Thomas O’Mara found themselves unlikely allies in condemning the raid. “On its face, this was an absurd abuse of government power to issue a search warrant, enter this man’s home, ask about his wife’s immigration status, and kill their squirrel pet of 7 years,” Khanna posted on X. O’Mara was even more pointed: “Everything else our government looks the other way on as far as illegal immigrants but then come down on someone harboring a squirrel.”
The bureaucratic gymnastics are dizzying. The Department of Environmental Conservation claims they acted on complaints about a raccoon named Fred, yet Longo contends this was merely a pretext to seize P’nut. Adding insult to injury, authorities didn’t even directly inform Longo of P’nut’s death — he learned about it through local media reports.
P’nut’s tale resonates because it lays bare the machinery of state power in its most unvarnished form. When government agencies expend more energy hunting social media squirrels than addressing systemic societal issues that lead to completely senseless murders like that of New York homeless activist Ryan Carson, they expose the hollowness at the heart of modern bureaucracy. That a single complaint could trigger such an overwhelming response suggests a system operating on autopilot, disconnected from any meaningful sense of proportion or public good.
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SubscribeFirst they came for the squirrels, but I did not speak out, because I was not a squirrel. Then they came for the marmots, but I did not speak out, because I was not a marmot. Then they came for the agoutis, but I did not speak out, because I was not an agouti. Then they came for me…and there was no one left to squeak for me.
Squeak when you are squoken to.
Even weirder is that P’nut was killed, because after biting an officer—no skin was broken—they had to test him for rabies. Rabies!!!??? P’nut lived indoors all his life. Did his companions give him rabies? Were they frothing at the mouth when they lunged for the officers’ throats.Why weren’t they euthanized so their brains could be tested? Poor P’nut, another victim of profound stupidity.
Do not forget the Holy Rabbit of Antioch who ripped out a soldiers throat and caused bold Sir Robin to soil his armour.
I think that it was a were rabbit, and was killed my The holy hand granade, after sev
I’m truly at a loss for words.
This is how we change the world.
Justice for P’nut!
I wonder how long before the censorship industrial complex is censoring those very words.
The government will be releasing statements like:
P’nut bit an officer of the state, he could have progressed to squirrel extremism. He was probably a far right squirrel with toxic masculinity issues from being exposed to only fans. The states response was therefore entirely proportionate and should not be questioned.
What world do we live in. I can’t believe this is a real story. I hope there is justice for P’nut, and the poor guy that had his house raided.
Ten officers for one squirrel? Did they have reports it was armed and dangerous?
Maybe they thought they were dealing with a nutjob?
Brilliant 🙂 keep them coming.
Right wing hippy below, is the funniest so far I think.
It’s all looking like a grey area. Does the US Government still look for reds under the bed?
Why has this gone viral? Because it is both comedic and tragic with minuscule impact to our daily lives but with enormous implications. We all enjoy the humor but see the pathos. This is the fumbling bureaucracy of the deep state. Take note. Vote Trump.
“When government agencies expend more energy hunting social media squirrels than addressing systemic societal issues”
But this is the point people like Bateman will never understand. Once the machine is in place, it will ALWAYS produce outcomes of this kind. It always had and it always will.
Because power corrupts. That is why decentralised systems that rely on individual autonomy and sovereignty are more stable, because the power is diffuse.
That is why the right is better than the left – because whereas the left always wants a ‘better’ state, the right wants a ‘smaller’ state.
suggests a system operating on autopilot, disconnected from any meaningful sense of proportion or public good.
As is the EPA. The battle for clean air and water was largely won long ago. So what do 15,000 employees do with a $9B budget? (To start with, you declare by fiat that carbon is a pollutant.)
The authorities also seized and killed Fred the raccoon.
During the Vietnam War, there was a famous incident in which a Vietnamese village was destroyed in a hunt for VietCong. The operative phrase was “We had to destroy the village to save it”. That’s what’s going on here – an overwhelming force deployed against a guy who was saving animals.
There was no problem with Mark Longo saving P’nut the squirrel and Fred the raccoon, among the hundreds of animals he saved on the farm. The problem was bringing wildlife into his house as pets. Dogs have to be vaccinated against rabies but his raccoon wasn’t.
Once again, you failed to ascertain the facts. Longo apparently had permits to operate a wildlife sanctuary, he was allegedly awaiting one final approval. Surely the correct reasonable approach is for the state EPA to simply send an investigator to take down the facts, not burst in wiith a warrant and ransack the house.
Mark Longo didn’t have a permit to keep wildlife. He said he was going to apply for a permit but he never did. I don’t know why the New York DEC decided to do what they did, but they were following the law. Mark Longo wasn’t.
f*****g insanity
WTF. Really…