Gone are the days when Joe Biden could campaign from inside his basement for months on end under the pretence of Covid safety. Now, the octogenarian is taking to the campaign trail with all the gusto of what you’d expect from an 81-year-old. Last night, the President appeared on Seth Meyer’s Late Night to talk about his rival, saying that “he’s as old as I am” (actually the difference is four years, but close enough), “but can’t remember his wife’s name”.

Unfortunately, stringing together more than six sentences in a row proved too difficult for the President, who lost his train of thought shortly after. Can anyone make sense of these remarks? “They told us we couldn’t get ’em done ’cause things were so divided and, but I think everything’s everything we’ve gotten done. He’s just a friendly state he wants to do away with, he gets elected and I really think his views on where to take America are older than… anyway.” …What?