In any culture, taboos require careful handling. There is something inside a taboo that demands respect and punishes transgressions. A new Netflix documentary provides a fascinating case of a filmmaker attempting to navigate the taboos that have grown up around gender â that gender identity is innate, that it would be wrong to think of trans communities as in any way âcult-likeâ â while reporting on an online dating cult.Â
Escaping Twin Flames dives into a strange, closed world helmed by Jeff and Shaleia Ayan â surely two of the least charismatic cult leaders ever to draw a following. The Twin Flames Universe cult promised to unite members with their âtwin flamesâ, or soulmates. In the process, the Ayans ensnared members in a multi-level marketing scheme, selling thousands of dollarsâ worth of âcoaching sessionsâ and encouraging members to engage in risky and sometimes illegal acts to achieve âharmonious unionâ with their ultimate partners.Â
When twin flames proved hard to come by, the Ayans shifted course. Faced with a shortage of âDivine Masculineâ energies, they pressured female members of the cult to change their names and pronouns and pursue gender transition. At least two cult members subsequently underwent âtop surgeryâ as part of their transformation, while other members resisted this top-down redefinition.
The filmmakers bend over backwards to disavow any parallels between gender transition within Twin Flames Universe and gender transition generally. In doing so, they interview a transgender scholar, Cassius Adair, who suggests that some of these women may have come to an authentic self-realisation that they were trans, and close the documentary with a disclaimer that âtrans people of all ages are leading joyous, full, normal lives, and transition-related care helps make that possibleâ, and that fewer than 1% of people regret their decision to transition. At one point, Adair says:Â
But â despite the filmmakersâ protestations â the documentary itself presents uncomfortable parallels with gender transition outside Twin Flames Universe. The testimonials of cult members questioning and embracing their new transgender identifications sound all too familiar to those of us steeped in online trans communities. In a short video posted to Instagram, for example, cult member âRayâ describes the experience of coming out as transgender: âI urge you guys to really choose to be your authentic self, because I found when I was doing that and claiming my masculinity to its fullest, that’s when my twin flame came into my life.âÂ
Others speak of âthe truth of who you areâ. The language of authenticity â and the encouragement to keep forging ahead with transition â is indistinguishable from the language employed in online trans spaces. There are the same wild vacillations from affirmation to rejection when one fails to follow the script. In the film, Jeff Ayan hammers on the need to âaccept that you are truly a man insideâ, advice online trans communities regularly dole out to members of wavering faith.Â
âI definitely had a lot of âblocksâ,â one member says, reflecting on her initial reluctance to transition. But in Twin Flames Universe, âblocksâ are something one has a responsibility to overcome. In trans communities, these doubts and reservations go by a different name â internalised transphobia, for one â but, beneath the branding, itâs hard to tell the two processes apart. Â
In another segment, the estranged mother of a cult member describes her childâs simultaneous slide into Twin Flames Universe and trans identification â a slide that began with her child disappearing into online spaces. She describes a process of radicalisation that will sound familiar to many parents of trans-identified children and young adults, who likewise disappeared online and reemerged speaking a strange new language that often strikes parents as scripted.Â
One also gets the sense that the appeal to unhappy seekers carries over from one community to the other. âFolks, it will be OK. Go for what you want,â a Redditor urged an online female-t0-male transgender community, in a post entirely typical of the genre. âIf you do not make a change, you will never know what could’ve happened. This is the core of deciding to transition.âÂ
This is also the core of any successful cult pitch: if you donât join, youâll never know what couldâve happened. Youâll miss out on your twin flame. Youâll pass on your true self.Â
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SubscribeWhen a cult pushes cult-delusionals into surgery, it’s crossed the line.
It would be socially beneficial to teach adolescents how cults ensnare people and hold onto them, but as ex-cult members attest, those same techniques are used against us in ‘normal’ society.
Abused children are very susceptible to cults and gangs. They crave ‘family’.
The Twin Flames Universe cult promised to unite members with their âtwin flamesâ, or soulmates.
That seems a little self-limiting. Why don’t they appeal to the many people seeking soulmates who are not flaming?
People seeking soulmates was their target audience, itâs just not many of that audience were desperate/stupid (or flaming) enough to sign up for a twin flame subscription. Letâs just say there isnât any other time in history that these two could be âcult leadersâ. It was mostly interesting and entertaining for that reason alone, until it began to bend over backwards to convince the viewer that the gender nonsense being forced upon its subjects was a vulgar misappropriation, and didnât in any way undermine trans ideology.
“Why donât they appeal to the many people seeking soulmates who are not flaming?”
There’s a possiiblity that they could be dangerous, wrong-thinking masculine chuds.
There is another (and better) documentary on Twin Flames on Prime. Itâs called Desperately Seeking Soulmate. Having watched both, I found the Prime offering to have fewer political âcatchesâ. This came from a Vanity Fair article by Alice Hines, who plays a central part in the Prime documentary. She goes into depth about the cult like environment and how Jeff and Shelaia are raking in tons of cash on what is essentially a multi level marketing scheme preying on lonely people.
If you look closely it is mental illness (PTSD caused by child abuse). They have the symptoms. Sexual deviance. Drug use. Permanently angry. We are losing because we treat them as at least somewhat rational. They are not rational. They are mentally ill.
If you refer to transgender people and produce actual evidence of that, you might even get a Nobel. Of course, you are in fact making up every bit of it concerning the article we are commenting on — which is trying to claim being transgender is such a cult.
https://ysph.yale.edu/news-article/transgender-individuals-at-greater-risk-of-mental-health-problems/
Itâs a sad fact, Talia. These people deserve our pity, but that doesnât mean we should be celebrating or affirming their delusions. Unfortunately many groups are happy to use children to affirm themselves.
“The filmmakers bend over backwards to disavow any parallels between gender transition within Twin Flames Universe and gender transition generally.” <- That is because there are not any. You won’t find anyone able to prescribe or recommend surgery who forces anyone into anything. Tik Tok and Instagaam are not real life, and just about everyone knows that.
” Cassius Adair, who suggests that some of these women may have come to an authentic self-realisation that they were trans” <– I have news for you. If those women did that and were happy with it, they almost certainly were transgender. The regret rate any chosen gender affirming surgery is very near zero. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33968550/ & https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamasurgery/article-abstract/2808129?guestAccessKey=43a62af8-3042-4678-b29d-3430c3ff98c1&utm_source=For_The_Media&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=ftm_links&utm_content=tfl&utm_term=080923
So, there’s that.
” The testimonials of cult members questioning and embracing their new transgender identifications sound all too familiar to those of us steeped in online trans communities.” <– The end of self denial of any type will sound a bit like that, and that is not itself evidence any given self-realization is fake.
“She describes a process of radicalisation that will sound familiar to many parents of trans-identified children and young adults” <– To those who told Littman how they “saw no signs” and who were found on transphobic websites describing how in years prior they had punished their children for gender non-conforming behavior, sure. Those kind of liars.
“If you do not make a change, you will never know what couldâve happened.” <– A pablum truism which really has nothing to do with it — the therapists involved will say don’t do this unless you are quite sure, and they will recommend quite a while of being sure between categories of actions taken, like HRT or surgery.
“This is also the core of any successful cult pitch: if you donât join, youâll never know what couldâve happened.” <– None of which has anything to do with it, because none of that is how transition per WPATH Standards of Care and the DSM5 is done, and that is how near all of it is done . . .
. . . And near any of the rest is an adult transitioning by informed consent, and that is all only on them.
What “cult” ? You have bent over backwards to draw parallels where there are none.
The cult that encourages children to seek unnecessary surgical procedures so that adults feel better about their own life choices. If you think thatâs ok, you may be engaged in cult-like thinking and not be even aware of it.