Winter now. All the old sounds again. Mist beading on the bough and tap tap tapping to the ground. The Velcro scratch of dead leaves. Bleurgh, says the sodden bird. Wind lurches off the Atlantic and trips on this little island, a lonely drunk scattering roof slates and rolling dustbins, bawling in the night.
Around Christmastime, from mid-December on, there may be another sound. The mummers out doing their rounds. Cries in the lane and a knock at the door. The knocking is part of it. No one knocks normally: they come straight in. “Hello hello and how’s the form?” Knocking is strange, a sign that something out of the normal run will follow. A good knock sets the stage.
In comes a costumed man with a face of straw. He asks permission first. That’s important, too. He must be invited in, like a vampire or a tax official. No harm will come to a householder who refuses entry. Nothing will be broken, no hard words said. The straw man will simply go away and take his lurking friends with him. They will be disappointed, of course. But to take rebuffs well is part of the performance. Such courtliness distinguishes the mummer from other masked men abroad in the dark.
And if he is welcomed in? Then you get a good look at him in the lamplight. This is the Captain or Jester. In England they might call him Marshall or Tom Fool or Arthur Abland or Father Christmas or even Mother Christmas, depending where you are and when you are. But we are in Ulster, and so we’ll call him the Captain. He comes right into the kitchen with his head veiled by a cone of straw. This is the crucial time. He must take control of his audience and do it quick, before the strange and true can wither into the ridiculous. “Room room brave gallant boys, come give us room to Rhime…”
Now it starts in earnest. In comes the troupe. There could be five of them, there could be 15. It varies from place to place. The Captain introduces some boastful wag. In Ireland, this is usually Prince George. After going on about his triumphs for a while, he is challenged by a third man. This could be Saint Patrick in West Tyrone, or a Turkish Champion in Belfast. They draw swords and lay about one another until the loser lies bleeding. The outcome is cut to local taste. Prince George might triumph in Belfast, but get pancaked in West Tyrone.
The cry goes up for a doctor. One appears, outfitted in a broad hat and a black coat, the very image of a medical man. “I can cure the plague within, the plague without, the palsy and the gout…” Yes, there’s a cure to be had, but it will come dear. Money changes hands. Ten pounds, a wonderful sum. The doctor gets to work and up springs the fallen man, restored to brawn and vigour.
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SubscribeBrilliant Article Thanks
Thanks for a fascinating insight. I live in Ireland and I’ve never once spotted or heard of Mummers being something that happened here, and assumed it was a tradition long lost to history.
The Philadelphia mummers parade….
This kind of thing is why we boarded leaky wooden ships and decamped to America, you see.