I wondered if we would ever do this again. Sachin, Carlo, Kier and I watching a Manchester United game in my living room. The dog barking randomly, knocking things over with its tail. Pizza on its way. Not unexpectedly, Wolves have equalised in the 93rd minute. Before my injury, we gathered like this every week. I’m in a wheelchair now, my sons on the sofa beside me, their feet on the coffee table, and we’re threatening never to watch this crappy team again, which has become part of the ritual.
When I was a kid in the Sixties, it was more or less impossible to watch football unless you went to the ground. There was barely any football on television. We could watch the World Cup, the Cup Final and other glamour games, but it was impossible to follow your team’s progress week by week, like we do now. Recently, looking through my diary of that time, I notice that among the five or six books a week that I read, many were autobiographies or biographies of sport stars, mainly footballers and cricketers.
At home, we received The Daily Express and The Guardian every day, and on Sunday The Observer, and my grandfather’s favourite, The News of the World. I was a big fan of sports writing and would enjoy reading accounts of football matches. My father had been a sports journalist, and my uncle, Omar Kureishi, was a famous cricket commentator in Pakistan, who had been, briefly, manager of the Pakistan cricket team, making Imran Khan captain.
My maternal grandfather, Edward Buss, who ran a second-hand antique and junk shop on Chatterton Road, Bromley, had several televisions piled up on top of one another. Only one of them at a time seemed to work, and since he had obtained it from a fish and chip shop, when it warmed up, it gave off an awful smell of rancid oil. The picture was black and white and fuzzy, and to get it going would require considerable manipulation of the aerial and several bangs on the television’s side. Although we could vaguely make out the shape of the game, you couldn’t really see the ball or the footballer’s faces.
I left home in the mid-Seventies to attend university in London. I lost interest in sport for years, and became attracted by theatre, European cinema and psychoanalysis. Everything changed in 1991 when Sky began broadcasting live matches. At the time, I was living on Comeragh Road, Barons Court, and there was a pub at the end of the street, which is still there, called The Curtains Up, where I began to watch football. There was another pub close by on the North End Road, The Nashville, a rock venue — now the Three Kings — which also began to show soccer.
In 1992, the French footballer Eric Cantona left Leeds United and was transferred to Manchester United for a fee of one million pounds. I can remember reading somewhere that Cantona had been in Lacanian analysis, which he claimed had been essential to him. He compared it to “having an oil change”. I was already mesmerised by this astonishing man, who would take an easel and canvas out onto the pitch after training and paint the view, comparing football to a dance. This new knowledge accelerated my interest in him. After all, how many footballers have had psychoanalysis?
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SubscribeI first saw soccer in Australia in about 1974. We only got the one hour weekly package of English first division. Was it called The Big Match then? There was no science in why Australian kids would pick a team, but my friends mostly barracked for Liverpool, Arsenal, Spurs, Manchester United, etc, and those who followed big clubs here followed big clubs there. I picked Manchester City for absolutely no reason, and weirdly I always barracked against Manchester United; I say weirdly because I didn’t know what a derby was, I had no local exposure and therefore no animosity to United, I didn’t even know Brian Kidd had played for United, I just always barracked against them. Nor was I a hard core City fan, so that when I lived in London I instead followed the nearest team, which happened to be Wimbledon (the first time I wentto Plough Lane they beat United), I still follow them but since they are in L2 I mainly watch City, who have been a treat to watch. And I still barrack against United, but now I have reasons.
I’m English but don’t live anywhere near a major team. The nearest reasonably big teams were Leeds or the Sheffield clubs, but they were 60 odd miles away. Hull was nearer but it was still a place I had no connection with.
So when I was about 6 I picked a team somewhat arbitrarily – Arsenal – due to the 79 cup final. As the author of the article says there was little football on the TV so the cup final was perhaps the only opportunity to see a game. Arsenal were winning 2-0 with about 5 minutes left, and I did my usual trick of getting too excited to just watch, going out into the back garden to kick a ball about.
On going back inside my older sisters told me Man U had won 3-2. I didn’t believe them but subsequently overheard elsewhere that the game really did finish 3-2. I felt sorry for Arsenal and next season switched to supporting them (from Liverpool, which was the default team to support at that time). It was perhaps years later when I found out Arsenal had actually won that game 3-2, Man U having fought back to 2-2 before Arsenal scored the winner.
I’m still an Arsenal fan due to that mistake, even though there were no other Arsenal fans around as I grew up, and Arsenal were generally fairly poor in the early 80s.
That cup final was when I first discovered my aversion to United.
Ha. I remember the 1979 final. My father was for Arsenal, I was for United.
Never mind. We’ll always have that Champions League final against Bayern Munich.
Yes it probably was The Big Match – ITV’s highlights package.
I really enjoyed this gentle, rather whimsical essay.
It’s ok, United are now partly owned by a tax exile, who rather ironically believes that the British tax payer should fund the rebuilding of Old Trafford!
Don’t think nothing can be repaired. If not, why are people so angry? X
My wife reminded me that the latest iteration of Eric Cantona on our screens was last week, when he “sang” on Michael McIntyre’s Big Show. The unwelcome memory of Leonard Nimoy’s “singing” was unearthed in my consciousness by comparison. Since then, I speculated that I had successfully reburied that particular mental trauma, until reading this. Thanks Hanif.
Haha, your comment reminded me of this 1960s gem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7o4ZQ4v7pg
I moved to Aberdeen in 1974. The World Cup and the Dutch team sparked my interest.
“….my youngest son, Kier, has lost interest in football and become a vegan.”. Ha! Love it.
Corbyn is a vegetarian and is a big football fan. Have any recent leaders of any party been big into a team? Even Farage is more a cricket and rugger sort of chap.
Nice essay, thanks
Van Nistelrooy ‘brutal’? He threw himself to the ground, whenever someone else was in the penalty area.
Great essay. Enjoyed reading that.