How can a “women’s movement fit for the 21st century… work out what it means to defend women’s interests” if it and our political leaders and courts can’t define what a “woman” is? I write this not in a sarcastic or cynical way but with seriousness.
J Hop
2 years ago
My first baby would have died without formula after I got mastitis and my milk stopped coming in. I fed my second but it was the most excrutiating pain ever because she never latched right no matter how many Leche League visits or doctors and I started loathing my baby. She was just a source of pain for me. Cut my wrists and after a week in-patient there was no more milk. Did well after that and no problems. People told me I was a failure and my baby might as well be killed if I couldn’t breastfeed her. I didn’t want to fail again.
I get your point and I love being a parent but this whole breastfeed or die shite has to stop. Women should embrace motherhood, as I did, but the natural, stay at home thing can be just as festishized and made glamorous as the career cat lady stuff too.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and your baby. You’re not a failure.
An important part of planning for a future where our relationship with technology is bound to be different is to understand how undeniably beneficial in isolation particular technologies are, and that there’s no room for militant binaries without paying attention to the wider context.
Mary’s great at articulating the point without giving red meat to “breastfeed or die” people.
I agree. In particular, Mary’s remarks resonated with me about the hypocrisy of the American right towards the social safety net in a world with greater restrictions on abortion. We must do better.
The thing is that politics seems to have shifted from public policy and government to decisions about a person’s life and different dispositions. I don’t think the rise of social media and the narcissitic way in which many people increasingly feel their personal opinions and decisions are incredibly important is unrelated.
Unplugging yourself from the insanity is a very good in my opinion. Enjoy a book. Spent time with your family. Focus on your work and hobbies, whatever they are. Enjoy the food you enjoy and have learnt to cook without being screamed at by hordes of angry vegans.
One of things that annoys me about Mary Harrington pieces is that she preaches this kind of mental hygiene but her whole way of talking and writing betrays a very online millenial who is neurotically analysing every possible fad in ‘identity’ and lifestyle.
Last edited 2 years ago by Sam Sky
Sheila Dowling
2 years ago
In the USA the biggest problem is the lack of paid parental leave. Usually, maternity leave in the USA is about 12 weeks long — that is, if you’re eligible for it (and many people in the U.S. aren’t). Through the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), the federal government guarantees 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave for the birth of a newborn or adopting a child. If most mothers are only eligible for 12 weeks unpaid leave at best, babies are going to need formula. The formula shortage is a symptom of the demand caused by the lack of maternity leave. It is not really an argument about breastfeeding v. formula.
I think what Mary is saying is that the existence of technological solutions such as formula impacts the way we think about political policy and social attitudes to things like maternity leave and caring work in general. If we didn’t have reliable infant formulas the idea that so many women would be returning after 12 weeks to the workforce would be insupportable. Society would have to be adapted for most women to stay with their babies a lot longer, some women might even end up working as wet nurses.
Last edited 2 years ago by M. Jamieson
David Smith
2 years ago
This author’s reasonable points are lost in her ridiculous caricature of the “right wing” stance on abortion.
I am a pediatric specialist and I am surprised at the author’s willing mis-characterization of those speaking against abortion. I take a compassionate approach to anyone in a crisis pregnancy while avoiding the prevailing pro abortion narrative that this is the best and only option.
Pro-Lifers are often heavily involved in supporting women in crisis pregnancies and pushing for changes that support motherhood.
I suspect the author thinks that raising any concerns about responsible contraception, and avoiding high risk lifestyles isn’t supporting women.
The issue of formula vs breastfeeding is not a political left/right issue and pediatric specialists have long moved past moralizing about it
The author should just admit to her liberal bias and not pretend she can fairly represent a conservative viewpoint.
I wouldn’t consider myself as particularly left or right, but in America it does seem to be a more common set of opinions on the right that is anti abortion while also largely against state support in the form maternity leave, free healthcare etc. On one hand they want to force a pregnant woman to have a baby she might not want or have the means to raise, while also being against offering her any assistance to raise the baby once it’s here. From the outside it seems to be a rather contradictory set of opinions
That is a simplistic view of politics that one might expect to see in a college freshman class with students who have little life experience and think there are no down sides to over reaching government solutions to every problem.
Anyone with any nuance can see that one can hold a political world view that favours less government control and regulation (which actually harms families) while believing that individuals, families and local communities are more effective at recognizing needs and responding to them.
After working in medicine for 20 years, it is my impression that maternity leave is fairly widely available but sometimes the larger (ostensibly progressive) corporations apply pressure for mothers to return earlier than what is best for her and the baby.
The commenter has swallowed the left narrative while thinking he is neither left or right;
You haven’t actually replied to anything I’ve said, merely spouted off what appears to be a largely generic response to anybody who questions your worldview.
Do you not think it’s selfish politics to force a women to have a baby she neither wants or can afford, then offering little to no support once she does?
Also just because the companies in your field offer basic maternity leave doesn’t mean it’s widespread. Most of the developed world looks after new mothers with free healthcare and paid maternity leave written into law. Americans seem wholly reliant on the goodwill of their employers, which as you say can be abused by pressuring women to go back to work before they’re ready
Richard Gasson
2 years ago
Initially I was going to read this article, until I noticed the author. MH is always, always worth a read. No exception today.
Roberta Perkins
2 years ago
Loved this article. So intelligent. Thank you.
Sam Sky
2 years ago
“If the doomers are right” – I mean, for me this is doomer as poseur, picking social media friendly topics. I seem to recall a real doomer, W.D. Hamilton arguing anyone who had to have a caesarian section should be sterilized, on humanitarian grounds, because when civilization eventually collapsed (as he thought it inevitably would), the genes that prevented non-caesarian births would be so widespread as to cause untold suffering in populations who had reverted to more primitive tech. Try popularising that in social media!
Last edited 2 years ago by Sam Sky
Anne Humphreys
2 years ago
What this article (and some comments) miss is that breastfeeding requires a culture that knows how to breastfeed. In much of the West that has been lost. With the result that women frequently struggle alone and “fail” to breastfeed- that’s the word they often use. Yet this is not their failure; it happens because they were not given the practical support and skilled knowledge that it takes to breastfeed. As a result they (sensibly) stop breastfeeding, because other things have to be prioritised – mental health, physical wellbeing, bonding with the baby. It makes me bitterly sad that again and again women blame themselves instead of our culture and our generally ignorant health services.
I have worked for over 20 years supporting women with infant feeding. I have seen the pain, supported many many women on their feeding journeys. I have seen how much better supported women from other cultures often are. For them breastfeeding is much more possible, because of this.
As a society we are losing breastfeeding year by year, and with it the possibility of optimal health for future generations. Most women now mixed feed; in other countries (including in Europe) this is not the case. It would indeed be “an uphill battle to transform every other social factor” to change this so that British women who wished to breastfeed were actually able to do so.
Prashant Kotak
2 years ago
“…Much of the autonomy … women take for granted in the modern developed world is not delivered by feminism, so much as it’s rationalised by it. The freedom itself is an effect of technologies…”
It’s nice to find a humanities oriented writer who gets this. And it’s not just about autonomy for women; the whole of humanity is driven in a direction that is not determined (long term) by social, societal and humanist ideas, but by two other things: technological advance and human demographics. These two are also of course intertwined, in ways that are not fully clear. The ‘human’ ideas come and go, but only ‘grip’ when the technological backdrop allows.
The question though, that really interests me is, is if the direction that human discovered or created technology takes, has any element of choice, as in choice by the agent in place for the play-out by that pattern at this moment in time, viz, humanity. Note that humanity was not the agent via which the pattern played out for a very very long time – humanity has only just appeared on the scene. In evolutionary timescale terms, if we scale the timeline since life appeared to 24 hours, humanity has been around for less than 30 seconds. And the idea that any of the agents prior to humanity had a choice in the play-out is clearly ludicrous, so I’m asking why does humanity think we have choices?
There is only one mitigation to this that I can see: humanity appeared, and the pattern changed instantly, so perhaps this time *is* different after all.
“What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the World” – Albert Einstein
I mean, humans avoiding going extinct in the last ice age when other animals probably went extinct. The flexibility that large cognitive capacity gives can be useful for adapating to changing circumstances.
R Miller
2 years ago
I am really perturbed that nowhere in this article is there any reference to the fact that some babies in the US have already had to have operations to insert tubes into their stomachs so that they can be fed, because they are at serious risk of starving. I suspect that many new mothers in America aren’t particularly interested in reading pointless but oh-so-erudite screeds about feminism and women’s autonomy. They are too busy driving for hours to find a store that might still have the thing they need to keep their children alive.
Main Edition
US
FR
How can a “women’s movement fit for the 21st century… work out what it means to defend women’s interests” if it and our political leaders and courts can’t define what a “woman” is? I write this not in a sarcastic or cynical way but with seriousness.
My first baby would have died without formula after I got mastitis and my milk stopped coming in. I fed my second but it was the most excrutiating pain ever because she never latched right no matter how many Leche League visits or doctors and I started loathing my baby. She was just a source of pain for me. Cut my wrists and after a week in-patient there was no more milk. Did well after that and no problems. People told me I was a failure and my baby might as well be killed if I couldn’t breastfeed her. I didn’t want to fail again.
I get your point and I love being a parent but this whole breastfeed or die shite has to stop. Women should embrace motherhood, as I did, but the natural, stay at home thing can be just as festishized and made glamorous as the career cat lady stuff too.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and your baby. You’re not a failure.
An important part of planning for a future where our relationship with technology is bound to be different is to understand how undeniably beneficial in isolation particular technologies are, and that there’s no room for militant binaries without paying attention to the wider context.
Mary’s great at articulating the point without giving red meat to “breastfeed or die” people.
You are right, there are strong currents in society telling us what to do; not just offering suggestions but instructions.
Individuals and couples mostly figure out how to solve the challenges that they face, not least as parents.
My wife was initially distressed at not being able to breastfeed our daughter but what do you do?
Breastfed or not our daughter has been a delight to us throughout her life and is a splendid independent young woman.
It feels like I get my mind blown with new perspectives every time Harrington writes something. Brilliant and much appreciated!
I agree. In particular, Mary’s remarks resonated with me about the hypocrisy of the American right towards the social safety net in a world with greater restrictions on abortion. We must do better.
Ridiculous.
The “American right” is far less hypocritical than “American progressives”. And we have far more common sense than you.
Is it just me, or is associating a woman’s personal decision whether to breast-feed or use formula, with the politics of left or right sheer lunacy?
The thing is that politics seems to have shifted from public policy and government to decisions about a person’s life and different dispositions. I don’t think the rise of social media and the narcissitic way in which many people increasingly feel their personal opinions and decisions are incredibly important is unrelated.
Unplugging yourself from the insanity is a very good in my opinion. Enjoy a book. Spent time with your family. Focus on your work and hobbies, whatever they are. Enjoy the food you enjoy and have learnt to cook without being screamed at by hordes of angry vegans.
One of things that annoys me about Mary Harrington pieces is that she preaches this kind of mental hygiene but her whole way of talking and writing betrays a very online millenial who is neurotically analysing every possible fad in ‘identity’ and lifestyle.
In the USA the biggest problem is the lack of paid parental leave. Usually, maternity leave in the USA is about 12 weeks long — that is, if you’re eligible for it (and many people in the U.S. aren’t). Through the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), the federal government guarantees 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave for the birth of a newborn or adopting a child.
If most mothers are only eligible for 12 weeks unpaid leave at best, babies are going to need formula. The formula shortage is a symptom of the demand caused by the lack of maternity leave. It is not really an argument about breastfeeding v. formula.
Exactly. We don’t have much of a choice.
It is way too simplistic to say that formula use is based on mothers needing to return to work due to lack of maternity leave beyond 12 wks.
I think what Mary is saying is that the existence of technological solutions such as formula impacts the way we think about political policy and social attitudes to things like maternity leave and caring work in general. If we didn’t have reliable infant formulas the idea that so many women would be returning after 12 weeks to the workforce would be insupportable. Society would have to be adapted for most women to stay with their babies a lot longer, some women might even end up working as wet nurses.
This author’s reasonable points are lost in her ridiculous caricature of the “right wing” stance on abortion.
I am a pediatric specialist and I am surprised at the author’s willing mis-characterization of those speaking against abortion. I take a compassionate approach to anyone in a crisis pregnancy while avoiding the prevailing pro abortion narrative that this is the best and only option.
Pro-Lifers are often heavily involved in supporting women in crisis pregnancies and pushing for changes that support motherhood.
I suspect the author thinks that raising any concerns about responsible contraception, and avoiding high risk lifestyles isn’t supporting women.
The issue of formula vs breastfeeding is not a political left/right issue and pediatric specialists have long moved past moralizing about it
The author should just admit to her liberal bias and not pretend she can fairly represent a conservative viewpoint.
I wouldn’t consider myself as particularly left or right, but in America it does seem to be a more common set of opinions on the right that is anti abortion while also largely against state support in the form maternity leave, free healthcare etc. On one hand they want to force a pregnant woman to have a baby she might not want or have the means to raise, while also being against offering her any assistance to raise the baby once it’s here. From the outside it seems to be a rather contradictory set of opinions
That is a simplistic view of politics that one might expect to see in a college freshman class with students who have little life experience and think there are no down sides to over reaching government solutions to every problem.
Anyone with any nuance can see that one can hold a political world view that favours less government control and regulation (which actually harms families) while believing that individuals, families and local communities are more effective at recognizing needs and responding to them.
After working in medicine for 20 years, it is my impression that maternity leave is fairly widely available but sometimes the larger (ostensibly progressive) corporations apply pressure for mothers to return earlier than what is best for her and the baby.
The commenter has swallowed the left narrative while thinking he is neither left or right;
You haven’t actually replied to anything I’ve said, merely spouted off what appears to be a largely generic response to anybody who questions your worldview.
Do you not think it’s selfish politics to force a women to have a baby she neither wants or can afford, then offering little to no support once she does?
Also just because the companies in your field offer basic maternity leave doesn’t mean it’s widespread. Most of the developed world looks after new mothers with free healthcare and paid maternity leave written into law. Americans seem wholly reliant on the goodwill of their employers, which as you say can be abused by pressuring women to go back to work before they’re ready
Initially I was going to read this article, until I noticed the author. MH is always, always worth a read. No exception today.
Loved this article. So intelligent. Thank you.
“If the doomers are right” – I mean, for me this is doomer as poseur, picking social media friendly topics. I seem to recall a real doomer, W.D. Hamilton arguing anyone who had to have a caesarian section should be sterilized, on humanitarian grounds, because when civilization eventually collapsed (as he thought it inevitably would), the genes that prevented non-caesarian births would be so widespread as to cause untold suffering in populations who had reverted to more primitive tech. Try popularising that in social media!
What this article (and some comments) miss is that breastfeeding requires a culture that knows how to breastfeed. In much of the West that has been lost. With the result that women frequently struggle alone and “fail” to breastfeed- that’s the word they often use. Yet this is not their failure; it happens because they were not given the practical support and skilled knowledge that it takes to breastfeed. As a result they (sensibly) stop breastfeeding, because other things have to be prioritised – mental health, physical wellbeing, bonding with the baby. It makes me bitterly sad that again and again women blame themselves instead of our culture and our generally ignorant health services.
I have worked for over 20 years supporting women with infant feeding. I have seen the pain, supported many many women on their feeding journeys. I have seen how much better supported women from other cultures often are. For them breastfeeding is much more possible, because of this.
As a society we are losing breastfeeding year by year, and with it the possibility of optimal health for future generations. Most women now mixed feed; in other countries (including in Europe) this is not the case. It would indeed be “an uphill battle to transform every other social factor” to change this so that British women who wished to breastfeed were actually able to do so.
“…Much of the autonomy … women take for granted in the modern developed world is not delivered by feminism, so much as it’s rationalised by it. The freedom itself is an effect of technologies…”
It’s nice to find a humanities oriented writer who gets this. And it’s not just about autonomy for women; the whole of humanity is driven in a direction that is not determined (long term) by social, societal and humanist ideas, but by two other things: technological advance and human demographics. These two are also of course intertwined, in ways that are not fully clear. The ‘human’ ideas come and go, but only ‘grip’ when the technological backdrop allows.
The question though, that really interests me is, is if the direction that human discovered or created technology takes, has any element of choice, as in choice by the agent in place for the play-out by that pattern at this moment in time, viz, humanity. Note that humanity was not the agent via which the pattern played out for a very very long time – humanity has only just appeared on the scene. In evolutionary timescale terms, if we scale the timeline since life appeared to 24 hours, humanity has been around for less than 30 seconds. And the idea that any of the agents prior to humanity had a choice in the play-out is clearly ludicrous, so I’m asking why does humanity think we have choices?
There is only one mitigation to this that I can see: humanity appeared, and the pattern changed instantly, so perhaps this time *is* different after all.
“What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the World” – Albert Einstein
I mean, humans avoiding going extinct in the last ice age when other animals probably went extinct. The flexibility that large cognitive capacity gives can be useful for adapating to changing circumstances.
I am really perturbed that nowhere in this article is there any reference to the fact that some babies in the US have already had to have operations to insert tubes into their stomachs so that they can be fed, because they are at serious risk of starving. I suspect that many new mothers in America aren’t particularly interested in reading pointless but oh-so-erudite screeds about feminism and women’s autonomy. They are too busy driving for hours to find a store that might still have the thing they need to keep their children alive.