Some lines from The Wokeiad, by Richard Craven:-
……….
They celebrate the Games with a woke feast.
Abundant kale and artificial yeast. 770
Macrobiotic yoghurt, Quorn, wheatgerm,
The fruit fly larvae and the writhing worm.
Surplus of rhubarb wine not sold to Krupp,
Warmed for an epoch in a plastic cup;
Vomit-resembling orange lentil dal,
The virtue-signalling beyond banal,
Rye loaf convincing as a concrete slab,
Halloumi gibbeted on the kebab,
Ice cream of hippies boycotting Israel,
All gluten-free is the organic ale. 780
You claim to write poetry. So paste some of your own right here and let’s see if it’s any good.
And while you’re at it, perhaps you’d like to define the meter which my verse is written in.
I will find out more about Vogon Constructor poetry. Thank you for telling me about it, it does sound interesting and I obviously missed the satirical aspect.
Sorry, didn’t realise it was your own verse otherwise I would not have made the comment. I don’t say it isn’t well written anyway. I just meant that using anger at society as source material for writing poetry has been popular for so, so long.
I do like satire. I just don’t like at as a practice – a regular go to way of engaging with reality. I find it destructive in the way that ‘grievance studies’ is destructive. My rejection of the latter does not mean I have no interest in social justice. We have so many ways to intellectually, emotionaly and spiritually engage with reality. Reality is huge, vast, always new… Exploring our relationship with it should be never be reduced to just satire. To do so makes us lose perspective, in my opinion. But then I am a lover of red lentil dhal – although I also enjoy a good crispy bit of dry cured bacon on a slice of white framhouse loaf and dollup of ketchup. Time for breakfast I think.
According to ‘The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy’
“Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings[1 was a poet who wrote the worst poetry in the universe. In fact, her poetry is still considered to be the worst in the Galaxy, closely followed by that of the Azgoths of Kira and the Vogons, in that order.
She lived at 37 Wasp Villas, Greenbridge, Essex, GB10 1LL.
Here is an excerpt of her poetry: The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool. They lay. They rotted. They turned Around occasionally. Bits of flesh dropped off them from Time to time.:And sank into the pool’s mire. They also smelt a great deal.”
Nevarc, I see you are challenging this claim
J Bryant
2 years ago
Great article. It had never occurred to me to search Instagram for emerging poets, but I’m willing to try. This article introduced me to Elizabeth Jennings (thanks for that). If you have an idle moment and an interest in poetry, I recommend scrolling through some of the poets listed on The Poetry Foundation website. Lots of famous and not-so-famous names there, plus selections of their work and a short biography.
Modern poetry really has conspired in its own irrelevance, but good poetry is immediate and breathtaking in a way prose can only hope to be.
V Solar
2 years ago
I write poetry and this article has come just at the right moment for me. I will have more confidence from now on. Thank you!
Last edited 2 years ago by V Solar
LCarey Rowland
2 years ago
Hark! what light
through yonder worldweb breaks?
It is the web, and Poetry is what’s bright.
Wrap’d in obscurity yon Poet awaits!
Poet! Poet! burning bright!
in the world web day and night,
What fearful phone or eye
could frame thy existential symmetry?
I forget which poet said that poetry is “a momentary stay against the confusion.” Or was. Now poetry is supposed to leave you “excited, charged and changed.” Apparently like most internet culture! Yo! Up the internet!
A pop song such as ‘I Will Survive’’ (by Gloria Gaynor in 1979) is a very cleverly written, well-written song. Like David Bowie’s ‘Golden Years’, I’d say. Both sound excellent, too. But have plain lyrics been put down as well in the last twenty years? In 99.9% of pop songs, I have to say no. I can’t make most of them out anyway. Enough of the pop. This is poetry. That we’re talking about. Maybe some poems today are crying out for a backing tune, to carry them like pop videos for the song constantly do in this our visual age. We can now watch modern-day poets in the palm of ze hand. No wonder folk are geared up to be excited, charged and changed. That’s the aim of a good old song like I Will Survive, I guess. So is it poetry? This poetry today? Is modern poetry “a momentary stay against the confusion”? Well, only if pop music can be described so. Imagine that!
“Pop music, I’m sorry dear, does not make me feel excited, charged and changed. Rather, when I was at the supermarket down the road, and the music was blasting away, it was, I felt, a momentary stay against all the confusion.”
Some lines from The Wokeiad, by Richard Craven:-
……….
They celebrate the Games with a woke feast.
Abundant kale and artificial yeast. 770
Macrobiotic yoghurt, Quorn, wheatgerm,
The fruit fly larvae and the writhing worm.
Surplus of rhubarb wine not sold to Krupp,
Warmed for an epoch in a plastic cup;
Vomit-resembling orange lentil dal,
The virtue-signalling beyond banal,
Rye loaf convincing as a concrete slab,
Halloumi gibbeted on the kebab,
Ice cream of hippies boycotting Israel,
All gluten-free is the organic ale. 780
To me this is just the same old, same old, gotta make a social comment type of poetry that I can’t stand. There’s more to life, surely?
You claim to write poetry. So paste some of your own right here and let’s see if it’s any good.
And while you’re at it, perhaps you’d like to define the meter which my verse is written in.
I actually quite liked the poem you posted, but staying on the theme I began above: (from Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’)
“”Vogon and other PoetryCreated Aug 28, 1999 | Updated Jul 14, 2003
Frettled Gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gobbleblotchits on a lurgid lee
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiosly drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles
Lest I rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurgle-cruncheon
See if I don’t.
(Sorry to but in with this silliness)
What I like about Vogon Constructor Poetry is that it’s deliberately bad writing by a good writer. There’s often something to appreciate in that.
I will find out more about Vogon Constructor poetry. Thank you for telling me about it, it does sound interesting and I obviously missed the satirical aspect.
Sorry, didn’t realise it was your own verse otherwise I would not have made the comment. I don’t say it isn’t well written anyway. I just meant that using anger at society as source material for writing poetry has been popular for so, so long.
It’s ok not to like satire, but I don’t really see what purpose poetry serves if it doesn’t engage with reality.
I do like satire. I just don’t like at as a practice – a regular go to way of engaging with reality. I find it destructive in the way that ‘grievance studies’ is destructive. My rejection of the latter does not mean I have no interest in social justice. We have so many ways to intellectually, emotionaly and spiritually engage with reality. Reality is huge, vast, always new… Exploring our relationship with it should be never be reduced to just satire. To do so makes us lose perspective, in my opinion. But then I am a lover of red lentil dhal – although I also enjoy a good crispy bit of dry cured bacon on a slice of white framhouse loaf and dollup of ketchup. Time for breakfast I think.
According to ‘The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy’
“Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings[1 was a poet who wrote the worst poetry in the universe. In fact, her poetry is still considered to be the worst in the Galaxy, closely followed by that of the Azgoths of Kira and the Vogons, in that order.
She lived at 37 Wasp Villas, Greenbridge, Essex, GB10 1LL.
Here is an excerpt of her poetry:
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.:And sank into the pool’s mire.
They also smelt a great deal.”
Nevarc, I see you are challenging this claim
Great article. It had never occurred to me to search Instagram for emerging poets, but I’m willing to try.
This article introduced me to Elizabeth Jennings (thanks for that). If you have an idle moment and an interest in poetry, I recommend scrolling through some of the poets listed on The Poetry Foundation website. Lots of famous and not-so-famous names there, plus selections of their work and a short biography.
Modern poetry really has conspired in its own irrelevance, but good poetry is immediate and breathtaking in a way prose can only hope to be.
I write poetry and this article has come just at the right moment for me. I will have more confidence from now on. Thank you!
Hark! what light
through yonder worldweb breaks?
It is the web, and Poetry is what’s bright.
Wrap’d in obscurity yon Poet awaits!
Poet! Poet! burning bright!
in the world web day and night,
What fearful phone or eye
could frame thy existential symmetry?
Love it!
Haha!
Echoes the thoughts I have had for a long time. Here’s one I prepared (much) earlier (excuse dots but otherwise it gets spaced out):
A dead art?
The Shakespearean rhyme scheme is good, but it needs a bit more work to shift it in the direction of iambic pentameter.
Is Shakespeare classed as a poet?
Yes
Haven’t you read any of his sonnets?
I forget which poet said that poetry is “a momentary stay against the confusion.” Or was. Now poetry is supposed to leave you “excited, charged and changed.” Apparently like most internet culture! Yo! Up the internet!
A pop song such as ‘I Will Survive’’ (by Gloria Gaynor in 1979) is a very cleverly written, well-written song. Like David Bowie’s ‘Golden Years’, I’d say. Both sound excellent, too. But have plain lyrics been put down as well in the last twenty years? In 99.9% of pop songs, I have to say no. I can’t make most of them out anyway. Enough of the pop. This is poetry. That we’re talking about. Maybe some poems today are crying out for a backing tune, to carry them like pop videos for the song constantly do in this our visual age. We can now watch modern-day poets in the palm of ze hand. No wonder folk are geared up to be excited, charged and changed. That’s the aim of a good old song like I Will Survive, I guess. So is it poetry? This poetry today? Is modern poetry “a momentary stay against the confusion”? Well, only if pop music can be described so. Imagine that!
“Pop music, I’m sorry dear, does not make me feel excited, charged and changed. Rather, when I was at the supermarket down the road, and the music was blasting away, it was, I felt, a momentary stay against all the confusion.”
Robert Frost, it was.
Great article – v relevant to English/Creative Writing students