When I was a kid, my dad would walk away from the table after every meal and leave my mum to clear the dishes. In time, my brothers began to copy him. I thought it was unfair on Mum, but as the only daughter, it left me with a dilemma. Should I assert equal standing with my brothers and leave my dishes for Mum to clear up too? Or should I help her out of solidarity?
It’s perhaps unsurprising that I reached adolescence already angry about sexism, and was barely into my teens when I discovered Simone de Beauvoir. In The Second Sex, she argued that men systematically oppress women by characterising them as the Other — that is, as whatever men don’t want to be. “One is not born, but rather becomes a woman,” she claimed. That is, while male and female humans have different biology, what oppresses women is the way those differences have been exaggerated and turned into a way of denying us our full humanity.
As a teenager, seeing my mum defined as the Other (specifically, “the one whose job it is to do the washing up”), de Beauvoir’s writing spoke to me. I felt as though I and my mum should both have equal standing with my dad and brothers, that we weren’t really that different, but that a noxious set of assumptions and stereotypes had already started shoving me into a different box. And being in that box automatically made me second-best.
Growing older, I tried to make sense of the relationship of those stereotypes to actual people. Because there’s no denying that the stereotypes themselves have a basis in fact. Numerous well-replicated and cross-cultural studies have shown that, as Scientific American put it in a 2019 article:
“On average, males tend to be more dominant, assertive, risk-prone, thrill-seeking, tough-minded, emotionally stable, utilitarian, and open to abstract ideas. […] In contrast, females, on average, tend to be more sociable, sensitive, warm, compassionate, polite, anxious, self-doubting, and more open to aesthetics.”
Research in this area is generally careful to emphasise that these traits are descriptive, not prescriptive. There are lots of competitive, risk-taking, abstract-thinking women, just as there are cooperative, egalitarian and aesthetically-oriented men. But the evidence does suggest that “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” stereotypes are, on average, borne out. Does that mean, though, that de Beauvoir was wrong and this is all just biology? Are women just naturally better at washing dishes and looking after babies?
Team Nature invites us to believe that sex-linked personality differences evolved over the development of the human species for survival reasons. The field of evolutionary psychology itself is complex and full of live debates, but the pop-science version of this perspective is well understood. Men, we’re told, have evolved for fighting, hunting, and competing with one another to attract as many females as possible, so as to spread their genes around. In contrast, women are less aggressive, while the greater physical cost to women of gestation and child-rearing means we’ve evolved to place more emphasis on commitment in relationships.
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SubscribeThe reason why “we have it all backwards” is because it is women themselves who have viewed the male traits of being dominant, assertive, risk-prone, thrill-seeking, tough-minded, and emotionally stable as their pathway to economic success and independence.
How many women want to be labelled as submissive, non-assertive, overly cautious, timid, weak minded, and emotional. Not many I’m guessing. It’s hardly a recipe for success at work.
Male character traits are treated as the gold standard, especially by feminists (which is really ironic). So isn’t it obvious why women have been considered “other” and “less than?”
It’s because women themselves paint their sex as “less than.” The current focus on women’s sports and athletics illustrates this point. In arguing for separate events for women which exclude trans-women, women only confirm their “less than” status.
The reason why “we have it all backwards” is because it is women themselves who have viewed the male traits of being dominant, assertive, risk-prone, thrill-seeking, tough-minded, and emotionally stable as their pathway to economic success and independence.
How many women want to be labelled as submissive, non-assertive, overly cautious, timid, weak minded, and emotional. Not many I’m guessing. It’s hardly a recipe for success at work.
Male character traits are treated as the gold standard, especially by feminists (which is really ironic). So isn’t it obvious why women have been considered “other” and “less than?”
It’s because women themselves paint their sex as “less than.” The current focus on women’s sports and athletics illustrates this point. In arguing for separate events for women which exclude trans-women, women only confirm their “less than” status.