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Incels could become the new Vikings Our culture is creating a flotsam of sexual no-hopers — with disastrous consequences

Although the chap in the middle probably didn't struggle to get a girlfriend

Although the chap in the middle probably didn't struggle to get a girlfriend


June 25, 2020   6 mins

Last week, World War 3 nearly started in Ladakh. A dry, high-altitude region of Indian Kashmir on the Himalayan border with China, it’s been the site of escalating tensions and military buildup for some time. On June 15, the first physical confrontation between the Indian and Chinese militaries for 45 years erupted, killing at least 20 Indian and 45 Chinese soldiers.

There are all sorts of geopolitical reasons cited for the escalating tension between the world’s two most populous countries, but there is one more central and timeless problem that is going to drive both countries towards violence and instability — women. Or a lack of them.

In his History of the Normans, written circa 1015, Dudo of St Quentin argued that the reason the Vikings went raiding was because they couldn’t find wives, an idea echoed by the Tudor antiquarian William Camden in his 1610 book Britannia. ‘Wikings’, Camden suggested, were what you got when there weren’t enough women to go round, resulting in an excess of young men hanging around full of machismo but without any prospect of finding a nice girl and settling down. (Viking literally means raider.)

So, whenever these spare males “multiply’d themselves to a burdensom community”, Camden reports that an area would draw lots. Those of the young troublemakers chosen in the lottery would be sent off on a ship to make a nuisance of themselves overseas. Which they did.

In evolutionary biology, the ‘operational sex ratio’ is a term used to count the proportion of males and females in a given species that are seeking a reproductive mate. As soon as the ratio tilts away from 50:50, the sex that’s over-represented will have to compete to secure a mate from among the less-plentiful potential partners of the opposite sex.

Though they wouldn’t have used that phrase, both Dudo of St Quentin and William Camden were both describing this phenomenon in human males. Where potential wives are scarce and the ‘burdensom community’ of spare men multiplies, the result is more violence and crime. One 2019 study showed that where polygyny — that is, multiple wives — is a social norm for higher-status men, attacks on neighbouring ethnic groups skyrocket. With a few men monopolising eligible women, the rest are forced to seek status and resources by attacking other tribes.

India and China both have an extremely ‘burdensom community’ of spare males. The normal ratio of newborn boys to girls is around 105:100. But as Mara Hvistendahl documents in Unnatural Selection, thanks to prenatal ultrasound and sex-selective abortion the ratio in China is around 118:100, and 108:100 in India. In some regions of India, the ratio rises as high as 150 males to 100 females. Though sex-selective technology is now banned in India, it’s still widespread, and the country now has some 37 million more men than women. Studies estimate that China has around 30 million excess men.

A naïve view of ‘mate competition’ might imagine this would play to women’s advantage. Females in sexually dimorphic species don’t choose mates at random but select for traits that will give their offspring an advantage of some kind. In bird terms, that might translate into choosing the male who can build the most splendid nest. Humans, being evolved creatures, do this too: ‘hypergamy’, or more colloquially ‘marrying up’, in practice means that the wealthier a man is, more women will consider him a desirable partner.

Certainly, some women benefit: hypergamy in China is brutal. Young Chinese men in some areas pay a deposit to a woman’s family even for the right to date her, non-refundable if the match doesn’t work out. Women refuse anyone who doesn’t have a car, a house and money for a ‘bride price’ running to tens of thousands of pounds.

But other women pay the cost. Human rights organisations have reported the ugly side-effects of the woman shortage, which include skyrocketing sexual harassment in India, and bride trafficking in China. There, women are tricked into migrating from countries such as Cambodia or Vietnam before being locked in a room and repeatedly raped until they are pregnant. Sometimes these women are allowed to escape but must leave their child behind.

Along with a hidden cost in abused and trafficked women, Chinese history suggests that bachelors with no prospect of marriage are associated with banditry, violence and even civil war. The Nien rebellion of 1863 was driven by ‘bare branches’, as men with no prospect of marriage are called in China. Meanwhile, in India, social scientist Prem Choudhry expects the woman shortage to make politics more extreme, as a man with no family is considered worthless and will need to prove himself somehow: “If they remain single, they will be declared not men at all.”

Historically a common solution to the problem of ‘bare branches’ has been to divert them from domestic trouble-making to foreign expansionist warfare. The Viking raids on Britain were one result of this; so was the conquest of Ceuta. Joao I of Portugal, the illegitimate son of King Peter I, came to power with the help of their own variety of ‘bare branches’ in 1385. But when he realised that their piracy and robbery posed risks to his own rule, he sent them off to seek status and resources by invading North Africa instead, kicking off a long and ugly history of European colonialism on that continent, the repercussions of which still echo today.

I’m not suggesting all the tensions between India and China can be attributed to spare men. Ladakh is close to the headwaters of the Ganges: not a location India wants to see under Chinese control. But unlike Dark Ages Scandinavia or medieval Portugal, modern nations can’t just send their spare men off on expansionist wars — although there are reports that China is using Uighur women like Viking men would have used captured Saxons.

And men who cannot demonstrate their masculine worth by forming and supporting a family will look for other opportunities to prove themselves. The prospect of two nuclear-armed superpowers squaring up within a political climate shaped by angry young men should worry us.

Angry incels closer to home should worry us too. Tempting though it may be to imagine that in the West progressive values have somehow abolished our evolved tendencies to intrasexual and inter-sexual competition for the best mates, evidence suggests otherwise.

Although the sex ratio in the liberated West is the normal 105:100, today this isn’t translating straightforwardly into family formation. As women have become more educated and economically independent, researchers hoped hypergamy would fade away, with women becoming more willing to ‘marry down’. It would make sense: after all, a woman doing well in a demanding career might in theory have an easier life if she married a self-employed plasterer whose flexible schedule would let him deal with school runs and appointments.

But after hundreds of thousands of years of evolving to prioritise mates with resources and status, it seems that many women still prefer to seek the ‘best’ potential partner. One recent US study showed that even where women are more educated than their partners, they’ll still show a preference for men who earn more than them. That is, high-flying women will disregard the plasterer and pursue an equally high-earning husband.

To compound the problem, social norms in favour of monogamous marriage have loosened over the decades since the 1960s — but this hasn’t made women less choosy about their partners. The number of American men under 30 who have never had sex tripled between 2008 and 2018 — but hasn’t risen nearly as rapidly for women. The only plausible explanation is that women are still having sex, but they’re competing for a smaller pool of desirable men and leaving the rest on the shelf.

You only have to look at online dating advice for American men to see this at work: “Show her you aren’t the average video game playing, cheap beer drinking, couch potato loser she wants to avoid,” advises one article on cultivating the ‘Alpha male persona’.

So even with normal sex ratios, our culture is creating a sort of flotsam of sexual no-hopers, composed of those males who simply aren’t impressive enough to attract anyone even for a fling, let alone a committed relationship. The grievances of this sexual underclass are creeping into our politics, as Angela Nagle argued in Kill All Normies: “Sexual patterns that have emerged because of the decline of monogamy have seen a greater level of sexual choice for an elite of men and a growing celibacy among a large male population at the bottom of the pecking order. Their own anxiety and anger about their low-ranking status in this hierarchy is precisely what has produced their hardline rhetoric about asserting hierarchy in the world politically when it comes to women and non-whites.”

In case anyone is tempted to dismiss this as harmless losers posting misogynistic memes, remember incels go on actual killing sprees. And there’s considerable overlap between the ‘redpilled’ community of sexually frustrated anti-feminists and the far-right more generally. As in the Nien uprising, ‘bare branches’ make for ugly politics.

Bare branches also make for enthusiastic terrorists. ISIS used sexual slavery as a key plank in its recruiting pitch for foreign fighters. Like the ‘Wikings’, men who don’t have many prospects at home will take considerable risks if they think it’ll get them laid, and (again like the actual Vikings) never mind whether the girls are willing or not. Conversely, settling down de-radicalises: according to research by the Institute of Family Studies, people with children are less likely to express views consistent with white identity politics. Likewise the Saudi Arabian deradicalisation programme essentially involved getting extremists married, and has proved very effective.

It’s difficult to tackle this subject without yourself getting accused of being ‘redpilled’ or a men’s rights activist. But it’s surely possible to discuss the political and social problem of spare men without believing that the solution is to force unwilling women to have kids with them.

And addressing this problem should absolutely be seen as a feminist project. Being consigned to a life of hopeless, low-status singledom makes men more violent, sexually dangerous and politically disruptive. This is not an excuse, but it is a reality. It’s straightforwardly in women’s interests to improve the lot of our own burgeoning plague of Wikings.


Mary Harrington is a contributing editor at UnHerd.

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David George
David George
3 years ago

Jordan Peterson was saying exactly this; that socially enforced monogamy has an important role in social stability. The usual suspects went nuts (of course) but couldn’t offer a counter.
There was a Guardian essay decrying the fact that women were “still” attracted to tall, successful men and how that needed to change.
No accounting for millions of years of evolved female sexual selection; suddenly little Soyboy McSnowflake is supposed to get the juices flowing. Idiots!

Fraser Bailey
Fraser Bailey
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

‘There was a Guardian essay decrying the fact that women were “still” attracted to tall, successful men and how that needed to change.’

Presumably we could introduce whichever form of socialism the Guardian currently seeks. That way, more or less everyone would be poor. Problem solved. (Just think how much sex you’d get if you were a man with more than one cabbage!)

Rob Jones
Rob Jones
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

“Soyboy McSnowflake”… did you make that up. Fabulous, I must use that.

David George
David George
3 years ago
Reply to  Rob Jones

Thanks Rob, all credit to Lushington D. Brady over at BFD for that one.

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

Agreed, but why insult the low status men? They are unfortunate and deserving of compassion. Social rejection from all sides doesn’t help.

David George
David George
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

Yes it is a bit harsh but not in comparison to the reality they are forced to confront; the suffering of rejection by women; the real reason for the rise of the incel. These feminised, failed or faux men have never been shown, or have absorbed the societal depreciation of the masculine: The courageous, forthright, strong, loving protector and provider.

There is a crisis of masculinity in the west, not helped by the corrosive accusations of “toxic masculinity”, a label that is being attached to even the positive aspects of masculinity. Any “toxicity”, such as it is, is really psychopathy and not common.

Despite the words of some wet wokelet at the Guardian most women genuinely want proper men, not someone that even they can bully. It’s no surprise to see, in the UK, the number of native women choosing partners from ethnicities that are more proudly masculine. No doubt that it will lead to resentment with all the attendant danger that that toxic sentiment causes.

Teach and encourage your boys to become honest, competent, courageous, proud and responsible young men or watch your society fall apart.

Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

Ah yes, that bastion of wisdom.

David George
David George
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

Thank you for your reply Leti.
Recognising the societal and personal value of marriage is not some sort of an emotional defect. Every statistic you look at confirms it, particularly in the raising of well adjusted children.
This is a borrowed comment (from Geary Johansen on Quillette) but well worth repeating here;

“The biggest mistake that feminism ever made was to think that women could raise boys without men, or that these boys might be better than those who had gone before. Because whatever mild chauvinism that might have previously been passed from fathers to sons, it is infinitely preferable to what happens in the absence of male supervision. Forget what you’ve heard about prisons, dropping out of high school and all the other stats which give boys without fathers no chance at all. Twice as likely to rape a woman and eight times as likely to kill a man.”

swampwiz
swampwiz
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

I tend to think that such boys are failed because the type of woman who can’t keep a husband around is the type of woman that is bad for raising kids period.

Brian Dorsley
Brian Dorsley
3 years ago
Reply to  swampwiz

Somewhat. I’m a boy that was raised by a single mother. I feel it’s more to do with no one ever standing in your corner or teaching you to be a man. I had to learn all ‘manly’ things from scratch. Also because we were living on welfare benefits I grew up in some of the worst council estates in Britain. While the experience left me somewhat traumatized I wouldn’t change it for the world. Hanging out with gangs and making out with tough council estate girls developed a resilience within me that I don’t think I would have got living in a comfortable middle-class family.

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

Um, go talk to the cultures where that actually happens, where it really is a serious issue. It is not practiced or approved in any shape or form by any Western developed culture.

Ann G
Ann G
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

That only happens in some societies, not all.

It does not happen in modern, western, developed societies, for example.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

If it’s the soyboy who’s having trouble attracting a mate, why is it rightwing assholes who complain about it at length on the internet? Believe me, there are plenty of women who don’t care about the brand of sunglasses or number of pull-ups are offering. In fact, they find it superficial and offputting. Why anyone would rely on a puffed-up fable-maker like “evolutionary psychologist”s is a real mystery to many of us, because they’re so far off-base from our lived experience of what we find desirable. (Note: No one normal is hung up on what kind of milk a man prefers.)

swampwiz
swampwiz
3 years ago
Reply to  David George

The ironic thing is that today’s society considers the Nordic man – of which is the Viking’s genetic heritage – as the most attractive, for his beautiful facial features, his height, and of course his light skin & iris.

Richard Hooper
Richard Hooper
3 years ago

Good article but a bit unkind citing the plasterer as the archetypal low status male. A skilled and quite well payed job – will not be replaced by AI robots any time soon!

Stephen Crossley
Stephen Crossley
3 years ago

A very interesting article joining the dots between the current Incel phenomenon, Vikings and young jihadis. One could further extend the at-risk group to include not just young, sexually or financially unattractive males but also the majority of men who may be seen as increasingly superfluous to financially independent, educated women as Formula One quality spermatozoa is now available at the click of a mouse.

Wisely the author doesn’t even attempt to suggest a solution to this problem because there isn’t an obvious one. Humankind does not have great form in heading off crises so we will just have to deal with the violence and misery coming our way. Even the possibility of a social media fuelled campaign to address the issue is unlikely as there is no “ahhh” factor here.

shadesofmeaning
shadesofmeaning
3 years ago

Speaking as a man who was never rich and could never have been mistaken for a movie star, I’m quite sure that the real problem with Incels is their attitude.

If I could say one thing to them it would be “Stop trying to find a sexual partner and instead start making friends with women” The one thing will likely lead to another in time and if it doesn’t then you still have female companionship so it’s win/win

Making websites where you whine that you can’t get the woman you want (typically based on some supermodel) gets you nowhere. If there were a shortage of men then women still wouldn’t want you.
Yes women might (sensibly) prefer a man with resources, but for most a man who can be a real partner will trump that.

cbfrmcardiff
cbfrmcardiff
3 years ago

The whole thing is never simple, and an “Incel” is only a subset of virgin male no-hopers. Probably a tiny subset.

One of the complications is the fact that the men are also making decisions about avoiding the women they themselves deem to be less desirable. Yet, is pursuing someone who is unattractive going to solve your personal problems (well, optimistically, it *might* do)?

Another complication is that “making friends with women” isn’t necessarily so easy. There are multiple practical and theoretical problems with that. Theoretically, is it ethical to befriend someone to whom you are secretly attracted? Practically, the men who are undesirable as sexual partners are likely to overlap with the men who find it difficult to make friends with anyone (let alone the opposite sex). Also, practically, overtures at friendship are so similar to overtures of romance that people are actively wary of befriending the “wrong” members of the opposite sex. I myself have mistakenly thought I was befriending a woman who actually assumed I was going to provide her with a sexual experience. Furthermore, during the most crucial period in development – youth – many men are effectively terrified of women, and unable to casually interact with them.

Basically I’m all doom and gloom on this subject. I don’t believe that large numbers of useless males mean anything for societal stability (look at hyper-stable Japan) but I do believe that this phenomenon will only get worse. The people in power – the top men and the top women – won’t care, as this is hardly to their disinterest, and the disaffected will not mobilise because they have only themselves to blame and because these disadvantages take a lifetime to live through.

Eric
Eric
3 years ago
Reply to  cbfrmcardiff

I think you’re really close to the real problem here. And it’s not necessarily a problem at all (in the West). A certain number of people are just incapable of following through with a relationship at all. 75 years ago these people would be forced together by intense cultural pressure to marry and stay married no matter what. The baby boom has that constraint lifted and this led to an explosion of divorces. Their kids wised up and stayed out of marriages with partners they don’t want. That inevitably means some people will just never get married or committed…the males have no choice but a single life (call it incel or whatever. The female version has the option of having kids anyway as a single mom, so they inherently “settle down” if that’s what they want.

Philip Rendina
Philip Rendina
3 years ago

I asked the for this comment and my account to be deleted but I have no idea how to reach the moderator. So I’m trying it this way. Delete this! Thank you!

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago

Exactly! Even a cursory glance at happy couples shows what the numbers would predict — plenty of average men making homes with plenty of average women. Incels have problematic egos and bizarre expectations of women. What they don’t have is women rejecting them because they’re not cut, nor gallant, nor wealthy. Maybe if they didn’t listen to PUAs who tell them women are to use and lose?

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago

This issue really should not be seen as a ‘feminist’ project. Because as the writer reveals, as a feminist project, it is in ‘women’s interest’ only, with no thought of what is good for both men and women, or more properly, society’s interest. As is typical and expected in the media these days, men are depicted as the problem. I mean, what about the incel men themselves? We only get a comical caricature of how dangerous they are or might be (red-pill, men’s rights, Isis, far right all lumped together in a ball of evil) not any understanding or compassion for how they might be suffering, the desperation and pain they no doubt experience. Did the writer even wonder whether the current rise in male suicide is perhaps related? Probably not, because that would be in men’s interest. It’s standard stuff. Low status men are either ridiculed (basement couch potato video gamer) or feared, shown nothing but contempt, never understanding. But when I think about why this is, why the easy and automatic demonizing of a whole class of unfortunate people, I don’t blame women. I blame both the myopic feminist lens that only sees men as perpetrators (patriarchal oppressors), AND the competitive men who are only too happy to see fewer rivals in the sexual marketplace, and who fear the fate of becoming ‘incel’ themselves. It’s all very sad.

tmazllc
tmazllc
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

Strong leaders like Trump appeal to disaffected males. Maybe that’s why we see more populist risings around the world.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

How nice to hear someone concerned about society’s interests! Do you prefer surgical masks, or cloth?

Pete Kreff
Pete Kreff
3 years ago

Likewise the Saudi Arabian deradicalisation programme essentially involved getting extremists married, and has proved very effective.

I’m intrigued. How does that work? Do the women have a say?

Jenn Usher
Jenn Usher
3 years ago
Reply to  Pete Kreff

I think it will bump up against centuries of their culture that, interwoven with religious support, allows and encourages high status men to have more than one wife. It probably involves “importing” women from other countries.

M Blanc
M Blanc
3 years ago

Women thought that they could do without men. More precisely, white women thought that they could do without white men. I imagine that the more perceptive of them knew that they’d still want men around to do the nasty, dirty, dangerous jobs that women don’t want to do. But there would be men of color to do those jobs; white women wouldn’t even have to “see” those men, any more than they “see” the Mexican men who cut their lawns (if they have lawns). Apparently, however, the ladies did not have the foresight to consider what the superfluous men (_pace_ Turgenev) would do once they were banished from society. Hide out in the mothers’ basements and play video games? Yep, some of them will do that. But others will do what single men have always done: raise hell and smash things. Be careful what you wish for, ladies.

Brian Dorsley
Brian Dorsley
3 years ago
Reply to  M Blanc

I think you’re on to something. Could the rise of men wanting to be women be linked to this?

M Blanc
M Blanc
3 years ago
Reply to  Brian Dorsley

Possibly.

Jordan Flower
Jordan Flower
3 years ago

Let’s add to the problem that the females coming out of the universities are ideological automatons. Like this: https://twitter.com/phil_johnson_/status/1276019343252262913 .

But then isn’t it funny how the 50 Shades trilogy is the all time best seller, second only to the bible?

There is clearly a palpable tension between the manufactured sociocultural prescription being given to us by useless, resentful college professors, and the natural desires of humans. Females (especially white) profess their woke religious dogmas from street corners and instagrams, but then as the studies show, continue to desire traditional, “nature-prescribed” mating structures.

Such is the unspoken mantra of modern wokeness: “do as i say, not as i do”. In other words, “everyone else must obey my lecture hall-distributed social dictums, regardless of the harm they cause, and regardless of the fact that i disobey them when i get home and close my doors.”

A recipe for disaster indeed. Females are made to feel guilty for desiring a “tall, handsome, established” man, yet most go for this alpha anyway. But at the same time, men are told not to try, and to be less competitive.

So you get a bunch of doughy losers with no drive, thinking they’re impressing women by obeying their ideological demands to “stop reinforcing the patriarchy”, but then these same women won’t touch these simps with a ten foot pole.

We live in an upside down time.

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  Jordan Flower

Yes. Feminism decided biology didn’t exist. It gave them the freedom to just make things up.

noelepace
noelepace
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

That is 100% false. Feminism did no such thing.

Andre Lower
Andre Lower
3 years ago
Reply to  noelepace

That is actually the only thing it ever did.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  Jordan Flower

Do all of your fantasies conform to the way you choose to live? Or do you consume, say, gruesome porn because that’s what you have in mind? At least one of your fantasies — that “men are told not to try” is straight-up hilarious. Who’s telling them that? Charlie Sheen? Caitlin Jenner? Who do you know who’s been told that, and who told him?

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  Joanna Caped

Men are told that by modern culture. ‘Competitiveness’ is considered a masculine trait, but has been cast as ‘toxic’. Men are literally being asked to step aside in their positions and careers for women. They are told women make better leaders, that the world will be a better place without men in charge, that men have made all the problems, it’s women’s turn now. No one in this culture gets more disrespect than an ‘old white male’. There is zero encouragement for men and boys to achieve and be successful, they apparently don’t need it, born as they are into power and privilege, but women and girls get avalanches of encouragement and incentives all the time. Look around and tell me that’s not true.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

First, men aren’t asked to step aside from their careers so much as they’re losing out on positions because other candidates are more qualified, or because the company values diversity and wants to nurture that workforce. If there’s a mismatch between your ethos and that of your employer, you might feel kicked aside or blamed but that’s normal for groups who haven’t had to compete with the full spectrum of humanity before, and are now up against women and people of color. There’s nothing innately superior about maleness or whiteness. That doesn’t mean they can’t still be successful.

I see what I think you mean about girls and women being more encouraged or uplifted these days. I think that’s a necessary stage when you’re trying to achieve real equality, because women and POC have inhabited second (or third, fourth) place forever. However, I’ve spent a lot of time in K-12 public and private schools. In southern Christian “academies,” boys’ worth in the wider world is reinforced, while girls are gently directed to stick with the domestic arts. In modern school districts, teachers and admins at all levels are concerned about boys not doing as well as girls, and are devoted to finding the best ways to encourage them. It’s impossible now to assemble a college freshman class that naturally includes as many boys as girls, because girls are more qualified. Now colleges, knowing young women don’t want to outnumber young men by too large a margin, offer quiet affirmative action to young men of all races and ethnicities. Encouragement and support comes in different forms.

Judy Johnson
Judy Johnson
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

What country are you in Alan?

Jordan Flower
Jordan Flower
3 years ago
Reply to  Joanna Caped

Of course fantasies don’t describe or prescribe how you live your life. I can fantasize about skiing in the Alps without ever having done it, and without ever doing it in the future. You don’t have to be well versed in the psych literature on sexual fantasizing to know that generally, people don’t waste energy imagining scenarios they’re not interested in participating in.

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” “•Gloria Steinem

re: “men told not to try” – how about APA’s first ever Guidelines for Practice on Males: “The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity”marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression”is, on the whole, harmful.”

“Men told not to try” was my hyperbolic paraphrasing of this well established tenet of toxic masculinity grievance, now codified as APA guidelines for psychologists. The argument is that male aggression and competitiveness is “learned”, and the much higher rates of male violent crime is a result of socialization as opposed to anything biological”despite zero evidence presented, and despite the piles of literature that show the contrary. But you see the incentive: if these things are socialized, then they can be “unsocialized” by force.

But how is it that all higher rates of antisocial, violent, criminal behavior are observed in males from fatherless homes? (source) Why is it that more fatherly male presence in childhood contributes to less violence, and not the other way around?

To put it simply, competitiveness and aggression in males is biological (source, source), and the social/developmental role of [fatherly] masculinity in these traits is not contributory”as the APA and the wokest among us purport”but is actually to restrain it and integrate it into a well adjusted male.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  Jordan Flower

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

You sound defensive, or maybe beleaguered is a better word. I would add that the APA’s recommendations around “harmful” masculinity is aimed at the men who suffer from it — trying to conform to stereotypes that don’t fit them, or attempting to stop using maladaptive coping habits that were probably very useful at one time, but are no longer needed. It’s not some sort of woke, make men behave against their own nature campaign. Lots of men chafe at the John Wayne or Top Gun model, and psychotherapy can be useful in teasing out which parts, if any, of that kind of masculinity they want to retain. Therapy also helps unconventional men learn more about themselves, what they love and value, and how to protect any nonconforming features from getting beaten out of them. In other words, the APA recs are intended to help men, not label or shame them.

Having read a fair bit of psych lit about fathers’ role in children’s development, a play style characteristic of men — roughhousing — is known to be effective in helping both boys and girls modulate their “bigger” emotions. A child will learn that competition is healthy, but there’s a limit before you alienate your buddies. Aggression, ditto. These are lessons both sexes need to learn. Some kids will require more repetition than others to learn.

Brian Dorsley
Brian Dorsley
3 years ago
Reply to  Joanna Caped

It’s pretty well-established that men are bombarded by negative media messaging. They’re also told to share their emotions but when they do, five minutes later they are told to man up and not play the victim.

Conversely women are constantly celebrated.

I’m pretty immune to this because I’m older and know my worth, but there are whole generations of boys out there who have been told their masculinity is a defect.

John Jones
John Jones
3 years ago

All of this is fine as far as it goes, but really
only covers half the problem.

The other half is the growing population of childless women in the late thirties and forties who discover that after prioritizing their careers over marriage while satisfying their sexual needs with a string of alpha males in their twenties, they belatedly realize in their thirties that there are no good men to marry, and so end up as the female version of the incel: childless, lonely women freezing their eggs while complaining that there aren’t any good men.

Cheap Sex, a book by Mark Regnerus, a sociologist, argues that whereas women used to control both the dating and marriage markets, men now control the marriage market. This is a result of cheap sex, a consequence of the pill, porn, and feminism.

Whereas sex used to be a scarce resource, it has now become easily available, loosening female control of marriage, as it can no longer be used as a lever to force men to surrender their freedom and get a job to support a wife and child.

The result, as Harrington argues, is the creation of a few male incels. But there are also hundreds of thousands of young men who refuse to even play the mating game: the marriage strike movement is a growing phenomena, as is the MGTOW movement. The 30% figure of men not having sex is often driven by choice, not inability to find a partner.

But the prospect that female liberation has led to this outcome, disastrous for both genders, must never be examined too closely, as it would cast much feminist dogma into doubt, something the media will not touch, and feminists would never accept.

And that’s why this will never be a “feminist project”.

L H
L H
3 years ago

The mainstreaming of the pill to unmarried female populations unleashed a tidal wave of pent up masculine sexual ambition – the misogyny and sexual anger of ‘repressed’ men is palpable in many 70s films (in my view lol).
This sexual revolution of the male perhaps reached a peak with gen x with many women of that era left playing musical chairs to the absolute last fertile minute in terms of finding a life partner for a traditional family. Marriage has been comprehensively gutted in terms of its inner values, but the external form (and -importantly – the traditional female household labour expectations) continue, largely because women seem unable to negotiate any other system that allows them to reproduce comfortably and with meaning in their lives. A large cultural mass of men seem to have comprehensively rejected marriage and almost everything that it stands for.
Is it any surprise then,?that the reshuffling of sexual values continues? Women have had to negotiate a huge cultural shift and are still in the process of finding their way. Withdrawing from sex is one of the few cards they have to play in this new cultural regimen unfortunately.

swampwiz
swampwiz
3 years ago
Reply to  L H

Men have rejected marriage because of the overwhelming power of the Divorce-Industrial Complex.

Fraser Bailey
Fraser Bailey
3 years ago

Interesting stuff – I didn’t know that about the Vikings. Perhaps today’s young men would be more appealing to women if they dressed as Vikings.

valleydawnltd
valleydawnltd
3 years ago
Reply to  Fraser Bailey

Because it was the opinion of medieval historians. Nothing like that is mentioned in the sagas, you will note.

Fraser Bailey
Fraser Bailey
3 years ago
Reply to  valleydawnltd

Yes, now you mention I don’t recall any of this Viking Incel stuff from my (admittedly not extensive) reading of the sagas and histories. I must be more aware and sceptical when it comes to this writer’s articles.

Douglas McNeish
Douglas McNeish
3 years ago

“It is difficult to tackle this subject without yourself getting accused of being a …men’s rights activist.” Is this now an offense? An illegal or immoral act? Will one face prosecution for admitting to it?

John Jones
John Jones
3 years ago

Quite probably. Feminists are already arguing that taking a position against feminism is “violence”.

Sadeq Hedayat
Sadeq Hedayat
3 years ago

Naturally. Any wokester knows that men have no rights. Similarly, daring to declare that “All Lives Matter” will get you targeted as a “racist.”

michaelkll56
michaelkll56
3 years ago

Good article and something… dare i say… that Jordan Peterson discussed a few years ago. One problem though, the author’s wokeness blinds her to the equal number of incels on the left. Look at the violent protestors, usually low status males, competing to raise their status with young feminist women on the left.

valleydawnltd
valleydawnltd
3 years ago

And yet here we are, bringing in lots of young men from other countries with a somewhat less progressive view of gender equality than the West has come to consider the norm. Incels,really?

dougmailw
dougmailw
3 years ago

This also explains the problem with many male feminists: They are hoping that their ally-ship will provide them with access. Sadly, though the fact that they are rarely considered as attractive mates means that many of these men also become frustrated and all too often turn to violence.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  dougmailw

You don’t know much about feminists. There are lots and lots of them, and they prefer partners who share their values, an important one being that women are fully human.

Isn’t the larger problem that incels have unrealistic ideas about women, and reject the majority of us for not being beautiful / demure / virginal / unopinionated enough for them?

Brian Dorsley
Brian Dorsley
3 years ago
Reply to  Joanna Caped

I could never marry a feminist. I rather like beautiful, demure, unopinionated women.

Daniel Hake
Daniel Hake
3 years ago
Reply to  Brian Dorsley

How boring.

Martin Shepherd
Martin Shepherd
3 years ago

Interesting article. This is a pattern I’ve noticed emerging as well. How to solve it is beyond my grasp. It’s not like the government can issue a state provided sexual partner.

nazar.artykula
nazar.artykula
3 years ago

Probably education? Cultural shift?

garyharris477
garyharris477
3 years ago
Reply to  nazar.artykula

The only solution that will work is for women to change dating habits, but that is unpalatable to suggest and impossible to actually make happen, so nobody says it.

If education, salary and status are to be equal between men and women, a dating market where women will only select men with higher education, salary and status is mathematically doomed to lead to this situation.

Anna Tanneberger
Anna Tanneberger
3 years ago
Reply to  nazar.artykula

Exactly Nazar. Sad that it does not even occur to anyone? And this article does a discredit to men and I am speaking on behalf of my male friends. Educated men do not assume they are entitled to sex; or that “being friends” is a “meme” for rejection. It has nothing to do with income or status, but if a man is not prepared to take the time to get to know you, he’s not worth knowing either, not even for a brief encounter, and would certainly not make a marriage partner; is not good for breeding purposes. An incel in search of a mate, who has half a brain and some personality, would be happy to be “just friends” because including him in your circle of friends means he can get in contact with other women, one of whom might be happy to be more than friends.

Stu White
Stu White
3 years ago

For Christ’s sake don’t give them ideas

Jonathan Nash
Jonathan Nash
3 years ago

Well that of course was what happened in Brave New World, which is looking increasingly more likely to have been the better forecast of our future rather than 1984.

John Jones
John Jones
3 years ago
Reply to  Jonathan Nash

I suspect both will come true, a future of state surveillance combined with sex control.

Ian Anderson
Ian Anderson
3 years ago
Reply to  Jonathan Nash

On that front, if you haven’t already, you should have a look at one of the inspirations for both books you cite; namely, Yevgeny Zamyatin’s We. I promise you that it will not disappoint, it’s arguably the best of the three (and that’s saying something).

A Geezer
A Geezer
3 years ago
Reply to  Ian Anderson

A quick glance at We suggests it may have inspired Ayn Rand’s Anthem

Scott Carson
Scott Carson
3 years ago

Fear not. A few generations from now, so few people will “identify” as simply male or female that nobody will even know what the ratio is any more.

James Suarez
James Suarez
3 years ago

My two-penneth, maybe regulation like:
– Preventing sperm donation for single mothers.
– Reducing child benefit to make raising children a two person affair. The latter should probably be accompanied by giving the Child Maintenance Service more teeth.
– Free / subsidized gym memberships to hopefully raise men up slightly.

But these probably only solve fringe cases. I too cant imagine the government somehow influencing women’s sexual preferences, and Im not really a fan of them trying.

Susie E
Susie E
3 years ago
Reply to  James Suarez

I’m not sure reducing child benefit from £13.70 a week (£20.70 for the first child) will do anything other than put even more young people off having children, which I don’t think is what you’re trying to achieve? If your referring to universal credit or tax credits, then I believe you can only claim for two children anyway… regardless, I don’t think a lack or abundance of benefits has anything to do with whether parenting is a “two person affair”. Your first suggestion might help a bit, but I’m sure people will find a way around that (mail order from Denmark – more Vikings!)? Rather than make gym membership free, how about causing all game consoles/gaming PCs to self destruct? Perhaps then all these young men might actually get off their arses and go to the gym? I suggest this after many years of frustration with my younger brother’s lack of enthusiasm for anything other than his computer. I think he only knows what a girl is due to having a sister…

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  James Suarez

Your idea is that making life harder for women will lead to them running into your arms? How long do you reckon it would take them to learn what a controlling creep you are?

Fraser Bailey
Fraser Bailey
3 years ago

Well the state could provide a sexual partner if they wanted to. And I could certainly see the Chinese doing something like that. Here in the UK it could take the form of a new type of National Lottery i.e. partners would be selected randomly. This would be very entertaining.

Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson
3 years ago
Reply to  Fraser Bailey

Not without making rape and sexual slavery legal.

Mark Corby
Mark Corby
3 years ago
Reply to  Fraser Bailey

Surely the top prize must go to the demented Dr Strangelove?
When discussing the ten to one ratio of woman required in the post nuclear mine shaft utopia, he states from his wheelchair “the women will
have to be selected for their sexual characteristics, which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature”.

swampwiz
swampwiz
3 years ago
Reply to  Fraser Bailey

I’m sure that the guy who gets via the lottery his 400 pound queen will not be so happy.

Andre Lower
Andre Lower
3 years ago

Ever heard of AI?

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago

You know what the essence of being ‘red-pilled’ is for a man? It means he sees himself not as a human ‘doing’ but as a human ‘being’. He is a success ‘subject’, not a success ‘object’. His value is in his personal freedom, not his social utility. He goes his own way, with or without a partner. He will not be diminished, not be judged, not be ‘accused’, not be shamed. He will not apologize.

David Probert
David Probert
3 years ago

A pity Frau Doctor Merkel didn’t have access to this research before her spontaneous ‘humanitarian’ gesture and very personal response to the immigration/’refugee’ crisis, which hit Europe in 2015 – as I recall over one million young, Muslim ( mostly) males entered Germany looking for ….well, we never did find out exactly. I wonder how they are getting along?

mike otter
mike otter
3 years ago

I think the analysis should include the large number of younger UK men – highly visible on the beaches and in South London this week, who get the sex but either do not stick around or are not wanted in the partnering/child rearing. I expect this makes them feel every bit as angry and rejected as the “bare branches”. Futher i think the incels are a sort of mental illness like the Amoks. An amok is typically a young male rejected in life and love who goes to a crowded place and randomly attacks with a bladed or even improvised weapon. The word comes from Malaya but the practice exists throughout the Muslim world and recently in Europe too. I expect the Libyan chap in Reading last week was more amok than religious fanatic. Hard to be devout Mulsim if you’re pissed and stoned all the time.
His teacher victim’s colleagues said: “He was determined that our students would develop a critical awareness
of global issues and in doing so, become active citizens and have a
voice,” Well his murderer certainly developed a critical awareness and spoke via his knife, probably because he had no other voice.

garyharris477
garyharris477
3 years ago

The only logical solution to this is for women to change their dating habits, in an equal society it is not possible for every woman to ‘Date up’. Good luck with that.

Lucy Smex
Lucy Smex
3 years ago
Reply to  garyharris477

Wouldn’t make a difference, bar allowing bigamy for women. Not sure how many men would go for that. Or women either…

Herbert MD
Herbert MD
3 years ago
Reply to  garyharris477

The logical solution is for incels to stop binging on self-pity and misogyny. It’s completely understandable to feel despondent and depressed if you can’t get a date. But turning that into an outwards rage against people who you feel aren’t giving you what you’re ‘entitled’ to is a terrible response.

Susie E
Susie E
3 years ago
Reply to  Herbert MD

Totally agree

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  Herbert MD

Of course, it is. But why the assumption that’s what they are doing? To me that’s a manufactured media narrative that creates sensation, like the writer linking to Eliot Roger’s case as proof incels are in danger of going on killing sprees. It’s a Hollywood movie level of analysis, mostly nonsense and part and parcel with the misandry of our culture that sees men as merely toxic.

noelepace
noelepace
3 years ago
Reply to  garyharris477

Women aren’t looking to date up. We are looking for a man who is our equal.

Jeremy Van Dyke
Jeremy Van Dyke
3 years ago
Reply to  noelepace

https://www.seeking.com/ says otherwise. 😁

A Geezer
A Geezer
3 years ago
Reply to  noelepace

Not all of you are. read about the short, fat woman who won’t accept any man less than 6 feet tall: https://faceupfacethefront….

Andre Lower
Andre Lower
3 years ago
Reply to  noelepace

Sure, sure, Noelepace. And the person deciding your own rating is yourself, right?

Last edited 3 years ago by Andre Lower
Julian Townsend
Julian Townsend
3 years ago
Reply to  garyharris477

Or for society to become less heteronormative.

Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson
3 years ago
Reply to  garyharris477

The only logical solution is for male incels to stop being creepy entitled rapists.

John Jones
John Jones
3 years ago

This is only half the story. In Cheap Sex, Dr. Mark Regnerus argues that the confluence of the pill, pornography and female liberation has created a disconnect between the dating and marriage markets. Previously, both were controlled by females, but now females control the dating market, while men now control the marriage market. The result is incels on the one hand, and women in their thirties freezing their eggs in desperation as marriage rates fall on the other.

What Ms Harrington has confused here is the differences between ancient Vikings and modern America. In the western world, unlike either the Vikings or modern day India and China, there is no great surplus of men. Instead, females, freed from the need for men’s financial support, are free to date as many men as they like, because the pill has given them control over their sexuality. Without the pill, feminism is biologically impractical. With it, women can ignore marriage, and date only alpha males.

But that only means that some have stopped competing for the best mates because marriage is an impediment to sleeping around, while other women will wisely choose to marry quickly, taking those alpha males willing to marry out of the dating pool.

But then the rest of the alpha males learn that they, too, can ignore marriage. So they remain free. By the time women reach their mid-thirties, the only men left unmarried are less marriageable, leading women to complain about the lack of good marriage partners.

Compound that with the MGTOW trend of men choosing not to be involved at all with females, and those men who have joined the marriage strike movement, and the prospects for women who desire marriage and children fade. The thirty percent of men not having sex aren’t all, or even mostly, incels, but men who are no longer willing to follow the traditional path, choosing freedom and celibacy instead.

It is not just male incels who suffer: female incels over 40 are a growing phenomena, possibly fuelling much of feminist discontent, as well as the proliferation of pornography designed for females, and romantic movies to fill the emotional gap.

This is the unintended consequence of feminism: everyone is now equally miserable.

Martin Terrell
Martin Terrell
3 years ago

Interesting article. You have though missed another trend or consequence, which is that of extended adolescence. Not so long ago most people in their mid 20s were getting married, buying homes, having babies and generally focusing on their lives. The period of disaffection and radicalism was a short one. No longer.

Brian Dorsley
Brian Dorsley
3 years ago
Reply to  Martin Terrell

Interesting point. Not sure if it’s relevant but I heard somewhere that extended adolescence is also a marker of societal decay.

markscotthorne80
markscotthorne80
3 years ago

Not bad write up, fairly blackpill and based apart from the female centric optimism suggesting “well it affects women too” Sure i mean you’re almost talking about a nuclear war at one point and those are not limited they usually mean we all get vaporised no matter what genitals you have.But i’m a doomer so take my pessimism with salt .

There isn’t much of a solution as nobody cares about incels or single people for whatever reason they are that way either due to something as simple as social anxiety , serious mental health or physical disabilities. If you are ugly (like actual ugly being below average not just think you are) then you are outcast by biology it’s natures way of saying “sorry we don’t want you to reproduce” and you can’t force people to, nobody is owed anyone elses body.
More investment into sexrobots would be a good idea, i mean the whole reason the sexdolls are booming is the source look at where they come from.
But the sexdolls and advanced robots are going to be out of the reach of the poor, they are and will likely remain a middle class level luxury product.
Also for the most part incels are not interested in the dolls because it’s not primarily about sex, they can and do go to escorts and use dolls,but for most incels the label is a bad description …it’s more like involuntarily single and it’s the being single part they have the biggest beef with (i don’t have a problem with being single as a schizoid doomer) .
I wasn’t there back in viking times but isn’t the way they are portrayed as big burly masculine men and chads kind of betray what an incel generally is? I mean they was more like “lets go pillage, take land and women” the modern ‘incel’ might fight in a war dedicated to that purpose but only on command of the powers that be not by their own decision making and grouping.

Adam Huntley
Adam Huntley
3 years ago

I used to think the Vikings went on the rampage to get away from their wives not to find one!

Lucy Smex
Lucy Smex
3 years ago

This problem was recognised several years ago:

https://m.youtube.com/watch
Black Pigeon Speaks: INCELS Spark CIVIL WAR in EUROPE
Published on 27 Sep 2018

It’s taken a long time for anyone else to catch up and recognise the inevitable problems, not only in countries such as China and India, but across Europe as well, with the sudden influx of over a million and more “refugees” into Europe, 90% of which were military age men. Some of these men were already single, but many more had deserted their wives and children, leaving them behind in war torn countries,and preyed on local women and children with impunity. The authorities across Europe ignored the resulting assaults and rapes because that would have severely undermined the narrative that these were true refugees, with women and children, and they would enrich the stagnant European countries.
Yeah. Not so much.

James Watson
James Watson
3 years ago

Not only did Jordon Peterson identify the problem, I believe he provides a solution. Pull adolescent boys out of the toxic school system and educate them using his 12 Rules as a curriculum guide.

Clara B
Clara B
3 years ago

Fascinating article. Many thanks Mary. I first came across the idea of unbalanced sex ratios (and the consequences of these) many years ago when I read Marcia Guttentag and Paul Secord’s ‘Too many women’. If I remember correctly, the authors argue that one of the reasons for the low marriage rates in African American communities is the excess of women (many of the men are, for one reason or another, not available and, where they are available, unwilling to settle down since they can have their pick of women)

Son of Sven Son of Sven
Son of Sven Son of Sven
3 years ago

Viking does not literally mean raider. It means bay, inlet, or creek dweller. I’m pretty sure that opinions about Vikings written in 1015 and 1610 are not good evidence for the argument here. I think the old argument about population pressure and relative shortage of arable land as an explanation for Viking raids and, equally important, permanent settlements elsewhere makes better sense, and has evidence to back it up. There were other factors possibly related to climate change at the time. Vikings as incels? Nah.

Derek M
Derek M
3 years ago

ISIS had a ready made ideology to attract it’s followers, it’s one followed by a large number of people and the policy on sexual slavery of captives and underage sex is a fundamental part of that centuries old ideology whose name cannot be spoken

Mark Beal
Mark Beal
3 years ago

It’s also the case that in the west many women opt to have a child/children but choose not to have a husband/partner. This is yet one more area where feminism has created problems it neither wants to see, and in any case can’t possibly solve, because it’s too wedded to the ideological premise that families are wicked patriarchal structures that are best dispensed with altogether.

Miguelito
Miguelito
3 years ago

I’ve written about the topic from a different perspective. We’ve entered a new ecology when we left the tribal world for the farms and cities of civilization. We are still in transition to a new ecology that will not only require new genetic and behavioral strategies but ones that are very different than the simple ones that nature provides everyone with. The thing is that the new ecology, civilization, doesn’t exist in nature. It must be created and is susceptible to damage especially from violence. Violence was a pretty good strategy in the last 180 K years or so of the tribal ecology but is dangerous now because it can damage our our ecology which is our life support system.
To make it short, civilization is a very good environment for women in many ways. My niece stated that she hated that men would say she should smile. I told her that that is what it takes to make men feel they are enfranchised in the society. If women want to maintain civilization, they should treat men nicer than the hostility they so often display. It would be to their benefit.
Probably both masturbation and legal, safe prostitution should be encouraged.
On the other hand, an interesting thing is that women have commonly forgotten their greatest power, how to give love. It was the power of Mata Hari and Marilyn Monroe. They knew how to do it but since emotions are hard to understand in words.. and it sort of got called witchcraft at times, it seems to have been forgotten. Still, you should know that a man will do anything for love, even build a home or a civilization.
If you want to see how humanity can make a future after the tribal ecology is gone, glance at Transition To A New Human Ecology

Alan Osband
Alan Osband
3 years ago

Women in their youth ,when they are most sexually desirable, find it easy to sleep with whoever they want ,simply because men are infinitely promiscuous. However the men they manage to achieve congress with ,for a short while, aren’t likely to be either loyal or especially grateful.

The author doesn’t seem able to distinguish between young women’s ability to get exciting sex ,easy for a reasonably attractive girl/woman, and her ability to find a life partner to look after her children

d.tjarlz
d.tjarlz
3 years ago

Not a reality if you, “Cut their goolies off.” Apologies to those who miss the reference.

Leti Bermejo
Leti Bermejo
3 years ago
Reply to  d.tjarlz

hahaha I was going to write the same thing!

A Spetzari
A Spetzari
3 years ago

I’ll be honest – usually like Mary’s articles but this one is half baked.

Lots of generalisations, inference and suggestion with nothing concrete that joins the dots. Essentially; “World War 3. India, china…lots of men in these nations…lonely men are racist, sexist and even right wing! Isis had lots of men; would World War 3 be bad yeah?”

Though it’s an interesting point reference the Vikings, we see this throughout history. A lot of colonialism/empire was driven by 2nd or 3rd sons, with limited inheritance prospects forging a new life elsewhere in the world, or joining the army/navy and getting about.

But the probability of total war between china and india has absolutely nothing to do with their domestic sex ratio, and the behaviour traits of a very specific community of mostly american males that has been reported on a lot.

repper
repper
3 years ago

Incels, get yourself a Ford Capri – it worked for me.

swampwiz
swampwiz
3 years ago
Reply to  repper

Of course, the Capri is a Mercury make.

ripsawridge
ripsawridge
3 years ago

It’s possible to turn initial frustration at the difficulty of finding a female companion into positive energy facing a future in which sex is no longer a constant, exhausting driver of your psyche. There is a movement called “men going their own way” which reminds men that it’s not so bad to have lost the dating game. There are other things to do in the world. Of course, today’s media world being what it is, nuance is enthusiastically papered over, and the movement is branded as misogynist. Not that it’s members are listening all that closely by this point.

Clay Bertram
Clay Bertram
3 years ago

Anti-male feminist rhetoric. Strange how these kinds of articles purport to reveal some deep truth about the state of modern men, yet they’re never actually written by men. In modern parlance the term is ‘lived experience’. Without stating the obvious, this article is not written from lived experience…

Alan Osband
Alan Osband
3 years ago
Reply to  Clay Bertram

Tsk it’s from the lived experience of having watched ‘game of thrones’

Robert Forde
Robert Forde
3 years ago

Very interesting, but I feel this attempts to join up too many of the dots. (Another commenter has pointed out that the border incident has another explanation). Still, a very important fact has been left out: there have always been incels – probably far more of them before women’s ability to control their fertility was enhanced in modern times, reducing THEIR attachment to celibacy. If indeed, their number is growing, and if this has the consequences stated, we should expect that sex offences against women (and disorderly crimes generally) should have risen enormously over the last 30 years. But, along with other crimes, they have fallen over that period.

Yes, incels do “go postal”, though very rarely indeed, but so do many other personality-disordered misfits. Part of that problem is the advent of modern communications, which enable isolates to reinforce each other’s paranoia instead of nudging it in a better direction. One reason for young men becoming terrorists is that it gives them a status and purpose in life.

I’m not at all surprised if young men with a stake in society (and therefore something to lose) calm down and try to keep it. The same thing happens with very many young criminals. What people need is to have that stake: perhaps the prospect of a better job than hamburger-flipping, perhaps a better place to live than mum and dad’s spare room.

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  Robert Forde

Nice, balanced assessment. The effect of social media is that whereas before, the so-called ‘incels’ were mostly isolated in their misery, now they can find each other. While they may reinforce each other’s paranoia as you say, they can also commiserate and support each other, so they don’t feel so alone, just as any other social media group of people with a common affliction do, which can be a healthy thing. But as this article makes plain to me, this mere fact is creating paranoia in the general population. Some even call it a ‘movement’, which I find ridiculous. What is needed is an understanding that feeling trapped in perpetual rejection can easily make any person feel bitter and angry, and that this is no reason to heap opprobrium on them. Rather, it is a good reason to reach out to see what can help them in their plight.

markscotthorne80
markscotthorne80
3 years ago
Reply to  Robert Forde

According to stats 30% of men under 30 are virgins and it is rising (although that was a poll based study i think), so millions of men are technically incel while the incel forum has a few thousand people (not all US) .

The saying goes “people with an axe to grind make the most noise” so the reality is most incels are not even on message boards venting frustration, they might not even know what it means.

However if people keep referring to their predicament as if they are all the same, that’s very dangerous because if they feel wider society isn’t listening but the fringe are and have the answers then more people get ‘radicalized’

It’s not much different from attacking muslims over terrorism , if you refer to incels the same way racists refer to muslims then you’ll get the same result…more moving to the extreme.

N A
N A
3 years ago

Interestingly this is also behind the rise of video gaming. I read an article a while back that made a similar point but was saying we’d so far not experienced too many negative effects as many men were placated by video games as an alternative form of achievement.

I do wonder if there will be an opposite effect in future where people seek to have more daughters.

David Morley
David Morley
3 years ago

Going back further one could surmise that the invasion from the steppe by the yamnaya was also an “incel” invasion. The invaders were mostly Male, and in the generations that followed, the children were mostly descended from the yamnaya on the Male side.

To succeed, of course, you have to be physically better equipped, more attractive, be better armed, or simply be more ferocious than your neighbours. Canadians might become nervous at this point.

swampwiz
swampwiz
3 years ago
Reply to  David Morley

Strength & ferocity were all that mattered. Being a “Brad Pitt” did not confer an advantage.

Tristan Gwythian
Tristan Gwythian
3 years ago

I thought this was a fascinating article bordering on the brilliant right up to where the author spoiled it by invoking the terms ‘far right’ and ‘white identity politics’, plus the rather nasty Nagle quote. I agree demographics has a huge impact on politics, and had considered this with Islamofascist terrorism but not with Vikings and Ceuta ! Was the English colony at Tangiers in Pepys’ day founded similarly, or as a way of keeping up with the Iberians ?

cbfrmcardiff
cbfrmcardiff
3 years ago

The colony at Tangiers was part of a dowry received when Mary of Modena married into the UK Royal Family. Tangiers was a Portugese possession, won as part of their long series of wars against the Moors, which evidently began with that aforementioned expedition to Ceuta. The main reasons for these wars was Portugese desire for the West African gold which formerly travelled overland from what is now called “the Gold Coast” through the deserts and Timbuktoo to the ports of North-West Africa, and an Iberian “Crusade culture” which was shared by both Spain and Portugal – for each of these states, the “Reconquista” never stopped.

Tangiers didn’t make any money for the English Crown and was of limited strategic use, so it didn’t last long. The regiments of soldiers posted to Tangiers were supposed to have been led by their situation into becoming pretty tyrannical and unpleasant in their behaviour, and to have exhibited these traits when subsequently repressing rebellion in England in 1685. Whether that had anything to do with them being “incels” I have no idea.

But the colony at Tangiers wasn’t founded or populated by the English themselves.

panthony
panthony
3 years ago

The development of the long ship allowed Vikings to make hitherto impossible journeys and allowed them to sail up shallow rivers after crossing difficult seas to conduct lightening raids on soft targets like churches, monasteries, and unprotected villages. The goal of these raids was to gain portable wealth in gold, silver or valuable slaves. Scarcity of farming land in mountainous Scandinavia and a growing population was a main driver for these raids. Raiding was often followed eventually by settling and farming. Another main driver was Primogeniture = the elder son inheriting the entire estate/wealth of the deceased father. This led to many dispossessed males having to raid to gain wealth, land and status. Sex was not a driver as slaves were plentiful and had no rights. The very word slave comes from the Slavs of Eastern Europe who were particularly preyed upon by the Vikings for slaves. In the west Dublin was an important slave trading market the victims here being the Irish and British Celts and English Saxons.

Andre Lower
Andre Lower
3 years ago

Mary, you are skirting the horrendous double standard of sexual rejection. If a woman verbalizes frustration with sexual rejection, she gets instant and automatic sympathy. If a man verbalizes it, he gets instant aggression and vilification (he must be an incel, he dares feeling entitled to sex, etc.). For a woman, being desired is a sacred right. For a man, it is forbidden.
Ask yourself this question: Why is everyone so keen on hurting sexualy rejected men, and so keen on offering sympathy and support to sexually rejected women? Why are these opposite reactions so universal?

Last edited 3 years ago by Andre Lower
William Shaw
William Shaw
2 years ago

The simple solution is to legalise prostitution.
Even the least wealthy could afford to participate.
Nothing is more expensive than a wife and family.

Last edited 2 years ago by William Shaw
John Mynard
John Mynard
1 year ago

Speaking as a peripheral “incel”, that is to say, a single, physically unattractive, 44-year-old virgin with no casual friends(much less more intimate confidants), a dead-end job, practically no money in the bank, and little chance of this changing in the future.

I will say that I find the vitriol, misunderstanding, and outright hatred my kind elicits to be…perplexing. In a society that goes out of its way to embrace damaged and broken people, that a group of the most broken & damaged is despised as we bachelors and “incels” are is saddening.

brianlyn
brianlyn
3 years ago

Interesting to see how many women have commented, or will comment, on what Mary Harrington says.

Allyson Doherty
Allyson Doherty
3 years ago

And I can’t help but think of Fight Club

weber
weber
3 years ago

I think that italian women would be quick to point out the high number of women being regularly murdered by their husbands, or more or less formal partners (2020 ytd is something like 29 cases already). That sad count does not include the less visible number of cases of non-lethal violence.
How does this stack up with the article’s assumptions about incels / single men…?

Ann G
Ann G
3 years ago

I’m not so sure that the hypergamy effect is all about money and status these days, unlike in traditional societies where money, power, status, were crucial to survival, and status and power depended on having lots of children.

My impression is that in more egalitarian and individualistic societies, what hypergamy translates as for most to women is a partner they can respect and even more, admire. That is harder to do with someone lower on the social ladder.

But also, women want the kind of partner who offers the prospect of living the kind of life they desire, and today, in developed societies, that means women have the luxury of wanting someone who shares similar values and interests.

That depends a lot on education level these days. That is why the plasterer may be a great guy, but does he have the kind of interests and values that will provide the highly educated woman with the kind of shared life she wants? Pretty unlikely.

Will he have read the same books, be interested in the same kind of movies, want to go to art galleries and cook gourmet, foodie food, will they want to travel to the same kind of places, will she be able to have interesting discussions about social issues, etc.? Again, pretty unlikely. She has a better chance of that with someone of her own educational level or higher.

But even that is no guarantee, which is why many women have difficulty finding a suitable match, unless they are willing to “settle” for just a good guy ready to share housework and child-raising, forget the shared interests.

As for evidence, there was a study that showed women who made more than their husbands explained that they made more money, but their husband’s work was more important, e.g. he was a doctor, she was in marketing.

Among my friends and acquaintances, I know quite a few women married to men who are of lower socio-economic status, but they share common values and interests, as the men are highly educated despite their lower status.

Andre Lower
Andre Lower
3 years ago
Reply to  Ann G

That was a long-winded “justification” of your desired scenario: the woman gets it all – she makes more money, and also gets to select the interests and personality traits of the man that will be bestowed the right to share her life. In short, he has to provide her everything she aspires, as that is only natural…

You would of course hate to be in this man’s place, right? Oh wait, yeah, this is all about equality. Ahem.

Bob Green
Bob Green
3 years ago

.
The writer appears to have no idea how much a skilled plaster earns.
.

Drahcir Nevarc
Drahcir Nevarc
3 years ago

Plasterers earn quite good money.

Rev Web
Rev Web
3 years ago

It is, of course a good article and worthy of reflection.

It seems that gender relations are always a case of taking two to tango.

The article could go further and consider whether those prime but chemically arid 20-30s females, who share access to the small pool of best-fit men for bio-evolutionary wish projection; and then become gerontofertile or perimenopausal females, trying to attract a small pool of best-fit men for bio-evolutionary fulfilment, are happy, maximising their wellbeing and being at all feminist; if to be feminist is to consider the health and wellbeing of children, families and society.

I have coined the phrase for this new sociological group. It is Involuntary Nullipara;

or, for short and social media polarising rhetoric – should anyone wish to engage in it – they will be called

InNulli …

Feel free to use this term but I, respectfully, ask that you attribute the original source; unless someone else has used it previously! 🙂

if6065
if6065
3 years ago

A third of women in Singapore, Seoul and Bangkok have become celibate. That does not appear to have had negative knock-on effects – yet. In Asia, we’re used to taking things as they come. Only a violent external shock can shake us out of our tranquility. Celibacy doesn’t seem to fit that category.

Rev Web
Rev Web
3 years ago

The problem of ‘spare men’ in the UK, as in men who are not required as Fathers or Providers, is not simply demographic and can be traced back to welfare policies that facilitated a decline in the traditional household unit and the decimation of manufacturing industry caused by neoliberal policies, monetarism and the power handed to banks.

Another way of considering the issue is that both men and women face a situation of spare men and spare women. If it is the case that western women are sharing a pool of men in their 20s, during a period in life when both spare men and spare women are voluntarily chemical eunuchs, and that this pool is not as large as the actual number of men available for the fulfilment of their bio-evolutionary fecundity, then this has social consequences that may be advantageous, such as more women being available to create and construct, productively, in the public economy. As the author states, there may be a disadvantage, in that spare men may not be able to form families during their most energetic and creative time of life.

A further point is that women in their 30s and 40s continue to look for the traditional man, being 4-5 years older and of a similar or higher educational or income-earning potential. This, again, is a smaller group than the actual number of men available.

Jordan Peterson, in fact, most men and women, ask the point if these women are happy. Of course, some may be and some may not be. He suggests, from his clinical practice that they are not happy and that they (his clients) often suffer stress, grief, loss and intense anxiety.

So, how can men and women get together in a way that allows room for each other to be themselves and promotes healthy families and transgenerational values?

It is a good question. I am not sure that focusing on, what I must say, as a man, seems like a derogatory term of Incels (involuntary celibate – a ‘sexual no-hoper’) is that helpful. It suggests that sex is just a gender game, leftover from a redundant bio-evolutionary phase of human development.

The corollary seems to be a demographic increase in what could be termed InNulli (involuntary nullipara – a ‘childless no-hoper’). These are women in their 40s and 50s who regret either the lack of a child or a stable conjugal co-parent who will help along the way of monogamy and a two parent household unit.

As a House Husband / Dad I think we can find good ways forward. However, it could be that feminism has proved counter-productive, in that it has allowed capitalism to reduce the instances where a primary income earner (whether female or male) can give that time to raising children, which, forgive the lack of citation, psychological and sociological research suggests is helpful.

As for spare men, our comparative advantage is in the Armed Forces, so this may not be a bad way forward for women who wonder what the bare branches may be up to in society. However, on a less Freudian notion of sexual drives and instincts, perhaps we could invest in the skills development where young men have attributes and interests, whilst encouraging those with interests and attributes in nurturing and caring to feel more rewarded by child raising, structuring the Labour market and Welfare system to facilitate stay-at-home parenting, whoever is taking the role.

One thing is for: self-interest and a gender battle will mean that no one will be able to have their cake and eat it.

Alan Osband
Alan Osband
3 years ago
Reply to  Rev Web

Can I sign up as pending

William Shaw
William Shaw
2 years ago

Easily solved… legalise prostitution.

Silke David
Silke David
3 years ago

Very interesting. I believe after ww1 there were more males born to make up for the ones lost. Somehow nature knows this. I guess one advantage of there being less women in China and India is that there will be less children so our rapid population growth will slow down. But of course reducing population growth artificially, like the one child policy in China, caused them to be selective and produce more males.

Rob Jones
Rob Jones
3 years ago

This is nice piece, but also rather obvious. Expansionism and conquest is always about resources, it may be framed in ethnic, cultural, ideological or religious terms, but non of those truly pack the punch that economics (in the most general sense) packs. We are, once again, in the arena of competing liberties and freedoms… it’s always impossible for everyone to have every freedom, so somewhere there has to be compromise. Historically that ‘compromise’ has been women’s freedom to choose (they didn’t have much), as that changes the compromise is men’s freedom (to, how shall we say, express themselves). These two are, and have always been, incompatible. From which it follows that any and every solution is unpaletable to someone, so one chooses one’s tribe.

prasad.deshpande10
prasad.deshpande10
3 years ago

Interesting article but the example of the Indian Army fighting with the Chinese because of machismo or somehow implying that a highly professional army is ‘burdonsom community of spare males’ is far fetched. Lack of women is not a cause of this tension at all as you have mentioned a little later.

Bill Gaffney
Bill Gaffney
3 years ago

You ran out of things to write about….

Neil John
Neil John
3 years ago

War was the usual way of thinning out the surplus males, nothing changes.

Sergio Uribe
Sergio Uribe
3 years ago

this is very interesting, and it would explain the global rise in protests. Very interesting, thank you for sharing.

ripsawridge
ripsawridge
3 years ago

I’m offended that you removed my innocuous comment. Could you explain why?

Hari Seldon
Hari Seldon
3 years ago

A modest proposal for peace in India/China plus removing the rapists from both countries:

Forcibly gather all the rapists in both countries, and allow any incel/single males to volunteer to participate in the Olympic Games of Gladiatorial combat in the Himalayas. Armed with melee weapons they can hack each other to death to compete in a hunger-games style fight to the death for cash prizes. The country that amasses the most medals gets territorial concessions in Ladakh. In addition, the TV rights can be sold for pay-per-view, and the profits can be given to orphanages or what-not.

danagroupbd
danagroupbd
3 years ago

l***o, what incels and online misogynists have to do with India-China border conflict? The conflict is there since the 1950s. Is this lady crazy or what? Lol. Most of those soldiers/border-guards are already married with kids. What is she smoking? 😂😂😂😂

laurence scaduto
laurence scaduto
1 year ago

Major problem! Harrington’s essays are not long enough! There are realistic, defensible reasons that she’s one of my favorite writers! Just when it starts really rolling and her way with words starts really popping…BAM! The whole thing’s over and all that’s left is the comments.
Dang!

J Brad
J Brad
3 years ago

interesting but the source of the Ganges is bloody miles away from where the tension on the border is. completely different state

Nick Faulks
Nick Faulks
3 years ago
Reply to  J Brad

It is of course the other branch, the equally huge Brahmaputra. I expect you knew that!

Michael Richardson
Michael Richardson
3 years ago

Is this really as big an issue as people make out? In my experience most young people, male and female, want to partner up sooner or later and as nature delivers roughly equal numbers of men and women surely by (for example) 35 most are willing to settle pairing with someone of around their own level of status and attractiveness

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago

Sounds reasonable. The only problem is the contradiction women are in due to their advancement. The achievement of equality means they have the opportunity to get an education and become financially independent. The way many are doing that is by going after the best jobs, the highest status and highest paying jobs. Naturally. The result, though, is they are in the process shrinking the pool of partners that they would find attractive. Men that were once perfectly fine catches, in working class jobs, lower status jobs, are no longer desirable mates. They, being women, want equal or higher status mates. Nothing less will do. It’s biological, or evolutionary. In this new ‘equal’ world, men are the same, doing a wide range of jobs, high and low status, while women have decided on a narrow band, at the higher end. This, it turns out, often requires the sacrifice of love and family for career, and a huge swath of men are left out of the picture. The ‘successful’ women don’t want them. It’s a sticky place for both sexes.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago
Reply to  Alan Girling

Yes, the problem is obviously that all women work in top tier professions and make as much or more than their male counterparts.

/s

Alan Girling
Alan Girling
3 years ago
Reply to  Joanna Caped

So you deny that women have greatly advanced in education and professionally? And that they are NOT as a rule choosing traditional working class jobs that men still do? And that their rise in social status puts them out of reach for many of those men? And that is therefore skewing the old match-making ratio that allowed most working OR non-working women to be happy with most working men, no matter what their station? Do you think women are happy? Every study shows women are NOT happy. Perhaps when they do reach the top, they will look around and see what the hell they missed.

Rev Web
Rev Web
3 years ago

I am not quite sure how to avoid the censor. But yes, this is what Jordan Peterson has been saying – reflecting a comment below.

I may be wrong but one point being made here seems to be that western women are sharing a pool of men in their 20s that is not as large as the actual number of men available. This is a benefit of the pharmacological revolution of the sixties and, as the author says, the availability of employment, particularly for middle class women.

A further point is that women in their 30s and 40s continue to look for the traditional man, being 4-5 years older and of a similar or higher educational or income-earning potential. This, again, is a smaller group than the actual number of men available.

Jordan Peterson, in fact, most men and women, ask the point if these women are happy. He suggests, from his clinical practice that they are not happy and that they (his clients) often suffer stress, grief, loss and intense anxiety.

So, how can men and women get together in a way that allows room for each other to be themselves and promotes healthy families and transgenerational values?

It is a good question. I am not sure that focusing on, what I must say, as a man, seems like a derogatory term of Incels (involuntary celibate – a ‘sexual no-hoper’) is that helpful.

The corollary seems to be an increase what could be termed InNulli (involuntary nullipara – a ‘childless no-hoper’)

As a House Husband / Dad I think we can find good ways forward. However, it could be that feminism has proved counter-productive, in that it has allowed capitalism to reduce the instances where a primary income earner (whether female or male) can give that time to raising children, which, forgive the lack of citation, psychological research suggests is helpful.

Wulvis Perveravsson
Wulvis Perveravsson
3 years ago

I have observed that, as the years go on, more and more women seem eventually to plump for Mr. Nice Boring who has a ‘safe’ career. Not necessarily particularly good looking, intelligent, or fun, but steady. It is a tendency reinforced primarily by the precarious economic conditions we live in, and I don’t think it bodes well for the quality of the gene pool into the future.

Joanna Caped
Joanna Caped
3 years ago

What I notice about men who whinge and rail about not having access to women is two thing: 1) what they want access to is p***y, not a complete person; and 2) how much they loathe women. I think these are sufficiently explanatory as to why they can’t find a female partner.

Alan Osband
Alan Osband
3 years ago

If young middle class women want to prove their virtue and social awareness they could stop attending ludicrous BLM protests and instead have sex with 10 incels a year (if they could be trusted to behave in a properly zestful manner and not like they’re loaning their body parts to the desperate)

Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson
3 years ago

People advocating for a Gilead-style system of enforced rape and sexual slavery. A better solution is for world governments to put real action in place to combat the very serious problem of male entitlement and the fact some men see women as property and objects to possess, and see sex as their ‘right.’ Most incels and MRA types complain that they are overlooked for “Chads” despite being “nice guys” but in fact they are not “nice guys” at all, they are misogynist rapists who objectify women and who have massive entitlement complexes. That’s the reason incels can’t get a date. Because women think incels are woman-hating rapists. Not because they are “nice guys.” Incels are NOT “nice guys.”

My suggestion: chop the penises off any man convicted of rape or who believes they have a “right” to sex with a woman who does not consent. If we remove every rapist from the pool of potential sex partners, that will even the gender ratio out and leave more women for the decent non-rapey, non-entitled men.

I have a large pair of secatours and am happy to volunteer.

(Oh and wiping out female infanticide and sex-selective abortion would be a good start, too. Too many men grow up in a world with no female peers, because their society murdered all the girls.)

Brian Dorsley
Brian Dorsley
3 years ago
Reply to  Bart Simpson

You might be on to something. One female author I read years ago wrote that society would benefit greatly if the global population of men was cut down by 90%. She mentioned physically emasculating all men from birth except for those with desirable traits. According to her this would also greatly reduce the risk, not only of sexual crime, but also of global warfare.