Most of us know toxic masculinity when we see it. It’s the bloke in the car park, ranting at his wife as she struggles to load the shopping. It’s the football fan, face contorted with rage as he yells (often racist) abuse at the opposing side’s star player. It crosses lines of wealth and class: in 2017, it took charge of the White House when a reality TV star who had been accused of rape by his first wife – who had boasted on videotape about sexually assaulting women – was inaugurated as President of the United States.
Toxic masculinity didn’t damage Donald Trump’s chances, showing that millions of people still respond positively – or at least indifferently – to the near-parodic version of masculinity on display at his rallies.
Such behaviour, which takes traditionally masculine traits and exaggerates them to disastrous effect, isn’t innate to men, and is rejected by a growing number of them. But when it’s sanctioned at such a high level, we shouldn’t be surprised if individuals further down the food chain copy it and make similar assumptions about how they are entitled to behave.
The UK, like many modern democracies, has a raft of laws that commit our society to sex equality. But the way people actually treat each other in private is another matter. Domestic abuse is widespread, suggesting that toxic masculinity taken to extremes continues to define and distort many intimate relationships.
At the same time, our understanding of the phenomenon has expanded: since 2015, the law has recognised non-physical forms of domestic abuse, such as keeping women short of money and ‘gaslighting’, a type of psychological manipulation that encourages self-doubt.
What’s gone underreported is the relationship between domestic violence and murder statistics. Men do become victims of domestic abuse, but they’re far more likely to be killed by strangers; fully half of female murder victims are killed by a current or former partner, compared to only 3% of male victims. Two women die at the hands of an intimate partner every week, according to official figures.
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SubscribeThe view expressed by this writer are beyond ridiculous.
The view expressed by this writer are beyond ridiculous.
Joan Smith is a decrepit misandrist.
Joan Smith is a decrepit misandrist.