When recent allegations emerged about Graham Platner’s behavior towards women, much of the discussion turned reflexively to the psychology of male dominance. Commentators searched for clues in his life story. Alcohol abuse and PTSD arising from his military experiences in Iraq and Afghanistan were widely assumed to explain his alleged aggression. Misogyny was wheeled out as a reliable old favorite.

We instinctively search for explanations in childhood experiences, trauma, and social conditioning. As a psychotherapist, this instinct feels familiar to me because it mirrors the way I was trained.

In my training, we learned all about the impact of insecure attachment, emotional immaturity, childhood trauma, family dynamics, defense mechanisms, unconscious conflict, cognitive distortions, personality disorders, and learned patterns of behavior. We spent a small but respectable amount of time considering insights from neuroscience, where we learned about the structure and function of the brain, the impact of stress on the nervous system, neuroplasticity, the role of neurotransmitters, and the growing evidence linking brain processes to emotion, cognition, and behavior.

However hormones — despite their profound effects on mood, libido, motivation, social interaction, competitiveness, risk-taking, assertiveness, and aggression — were given remarkably little attention. As I recall, premenstrual tension was mentioned as a significant burden for some women, and that was more or less the extent of our education on hormones.

Yet, since 2019, through my work with people who have medically transitioned and detransitioned, I have come to regard hormones as one of the great blind spots of contemporary psychology. Although I was resistant at first, years spent listening to people describe major changes in energy, libido, emotional responsiveness, and social interaction have convinced me that hormones are among the most powerful influences on human personality and behavior.

Over the past seven years, I have heard hundreds of detransitioners describe the effects of testosterone and estrogen on their emotions, relationships, motivations, and sense of self as part of Genspect’s Beyond Trans group support program. To my knowledge, this constitutes one of the largest bodies of clinical experience with detransitioners anywhere in the world. It has left me in little doubt that hormones tend to be the forgotten variable in our understanding of human behavior.

Perhaps we have become so accustomed to psychologizing human behavior that we sometimes overlook the obvious? Men have around 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women and are, on average, substantially stronger. Most men know this from adolescence onwards. They move through the world with a physical capacity that most women simply do not possess, and that physical reality shapes behavior more than contemporary culture likes to admit. Graham Platner is an extreme manifestation of this biological reality.

None of this makes aggression inevitable or excuses bad behavior. Most men never harm anyone. But physical asymmetry creates possibilities that do not exist in the reverse direction. During moments of anger or conflict, the knowledge that one person is larger, stronger, and capable of overpowering the other inevitably affects the dynamics of a relationship, whether anyone acknowledges it or not.

My work with both transmen and detransitioned women has become an unexpected masterclass in the effects of testosterone. Many speak of suddenly finding themselves silently leering at strangers they were attracted to in the street. Their sex drive often felt unmanageable, and many described having risky sex with inappropriate partners. The rage they describe, once on testosterone, feels overwhelming. Many feel a sense of relief when they stop taking it.

At the same time, many women mourn the loss of the libido, drive, and decisiveness that fade when they stop testosterone. As estrogen reasserts itself, they often describe becoming more emotionally responsive. Many speak of being unable to cry while on testosterone and feeling relieved when tears return. Female hormones are no less powerful than testosterone; their effects are different, and our understanding of them remains comparatively rudimentary.

These ideas are not new, and they are certainly not fringe. Yet, for reasons that are as much ideological as scientific, this body of knowledge is often treated like a slightly tipsy guest at a dinner party. Everyone knows it’s the truth, but nobody quite wants to acknowledge it. Human beings are embodied creatures, and any serious attempt to understand our behavior must begin with that reality.

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Stella O’Malley is a psychotherapist and bestselling author. She is Founder-Director of Genspect, an international organisation that advocates for a healthy approach to sex and gender.

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