Italy’s longest-serving post-war premier already had a vision, two decades ago, of how he wished to be memorialised. The cruise-ship-crooner-turned-property-and-media-mogul changed Italian planning law to permit the construction, in the grounds of his mansion, of a giant marble mausoleum. Decorated by sculptor Pietro Cascella, it was adorned with things he might need in the afterlife, like fruit, keys, mobile phone.
Outside Italy, meanwhile, the Romeo who told one biographer “Think of how many women there are out there who would like to go to bed with me, but don’t know it”, and reportedly called Angela Merkel “an unfuckable lard-arse”, is immortalised in Bunga-Bunga, a Covent Garden restaurant serving metre-long pizzas.
It is an achievement, I suppose, to have been the epicentre of a sex scandal so epoch-defining and internationally notorious as to have provided the name for a restaurant that isn’t even in your own country. The term “bunga bunga” was reportedly introduced to the world by Ruby Ruacori, real name Karima El Mahroug. Berlusconi was accused of paying El Mahroug for sex in 2010, when she was just 17; El Mahroug claimed it was a lap-dancing game, in which the winner got to have sex with Berlusconi.
The events mesmerised the press, nationally and internationally. The details were juicy, the settings opulent, the men powerful, and the girls pretty. The tabloids feasted. But could this larger-than-life figure reach such prominence today? Though Peak Bunga was barely more than a decade ago, the stories feel sepia-toned, as though they belong to a different age.
We’ve been through the looking-glass at least twice since then: first, the Great Populist Earthquake of 2016, then Covid, and all their respective derangement syndromes. Along the way, we seemingly abandoned the sinking ship of tolerance and shared values altogether, in a flotilla of quarrelsome social-media lifeboats.
Somewhere in there was #MeToo. There was Epstein. We swapped headlines for clickbait. Politics now comes pre-marinaded in competitive victimhood. An out-of-context video clip can trigger international social media meltdown. And in this dyspeptic climate, there probably is less political bandwidth for uncritically lionising the priapic, piratical, rule-bending alpha-male mafioso type than there was in the Age of Bunga.
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Subscribe“…if you attract the attention of men with big appetites…”
Wise advice, but how many women deliberately seek out such men? Nobody should excuse non-consensual relationships, but there are enough predatory ‘pretty young things’ out there to supply the scarce supply of willing rich and powerful men. Toxic masculinity meet toxic femininity.
I wish I could have articulated my thoughts as eloquently
Absolutely true! What really shocks though is the cold blooded exploitation of very vulnerable young girls and boys – in some cases not really adult at all – by men like Epstein.
It is sickening to think how many men of wealth and power were more than happy to board the Lolita Express because Epstein provided sex not just with pretty teenagers but with pre-pubescent girls and boys – children.
And that this has been going on for well over a thousand years.
There are even passages in the Old Testament condoning the taking of very young girls – again pre-pubescent – as war booty to train up as concubines – sex slaves.
There have been far worse than Berlusconi throughout history.
If that is the case, point to the location of just one of these Old Testament passages,
If that is the case, point to the location of just one of these Old Testament passages,
I wish I could have articulated my thoughts as eloquently
Absolutely true! What really shocks though is the cold blooded exploitation of very vulnerable young girls and boys – in some cases not really adult at all – by men like Epstein.
It is sickening to think how many men of wealth and power were more than happy to board the Lolita Express because Epstein provided sex not just with pretty teenagers but with pre-pubescent girls and boys – children.
And that this has been going on for well over a thousand years.
There are even passages in the Old Testament condoning the taking of very young girls – again pre-pubescent – as war booty to train up as concubines – sex slaves.
There have been far worse than Berlusconi throughout history.
“…if you attract the attention of men with big appetites…”
Wise advice, but how many women deliberately seek out such men? Nobody should excuse non-consensual relationships, but there are enough predatory ‘pretty young things’ out there to supply the scarce supply of willing rich and powerful men. Toxic masculinity meet toxic femininity.
I’m a fully paid-up member of the Mary Harrington Fan Club, but I disagree with her conclusion: “I wish I had a more upbeat message, the cold truth is this: if you attract the attention of men with big appetites and bigger bank balances, and you don’t want to be used either as a sex toy or political weapon, heed the medieval proverb. “She who sups with the devil should use a long spoon.”
This is wrong. There is a very upbeat message here for beautiful young women, a truth that will warm their hearts in the long run. If you don’t want to be used a sex toy or political weapon… don’t have sex with him. Contrary to what you read in Cosmo, you don’t attract a man by having sex with him; you attract a man by the prospect of having sex with him.
Or to put it differently, there is a simple, timeless truth that explains, diagnoses and cures most of the contemporary hand-wringing by women about the state of male-female relationships: “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Anne Boleyn is the finest example.
Closely followed by Katherine Howard.
She was very much the victim of her very ambitious pimp of a father and had little say in the matter. Likewise Katherine Howard. These young girls were used as political pawns by their male relatives.
Even though I don’t know enough about the two particular families that you mention, Alice, I do know that almost everyone in aristocratic circles was a political pawn. (Even Henry’s behavior was motivated at least partly by dynastic considerations.) Both girls and boys grew up with the familial expectation of attaining social and political mobility, or at least increasing influence, through marriage (although a few did so by making some remarkable personal contribution to the crown).
Even though I don’t know enough about the two particular families that you mention, Alice, I do know that almost everyone in aristocratic circles was a political pawn. (Even Henry’s behavior was motivated at least partly by dynastic considerations.) Both girls and boys grew up with the familial expectation of attaining social and political mobility, or at least increasing influence, through marriage (although a few did so by making some remarkable personal contribution to the crown).
Closely followed by Katherine Howard.
She was very much the victim of her very ambitious pimp of a father and had little say in the matter. Likewise Katherine Howard. These young girls were used as political pawns by their male relatives.
I disagree. Predators like Berlusconi and Bill Clinton would have moved on if a pretty young thing didn’t submit to sex with them. The women know it’s wrong and sup with the devil nonetheless. Neither side is interested in a long-term transaction. It’s all about bragging rights.
“Neither side is interested in a long-term transaction” Women who are not interested in marriage don’t complain about being used (except, of course, pretextually) and hence are not the subjects of this article. That said, even in this day and age, relatively few women are happy with uncommitted sex. (Very few men are either, in the long run, but that’s a different article.)
“Kiss it,” Bill Clinton said, drawing his curved p***s from his trouser front with its easily identifiable freckle. The woman had been brought to him by an Arkansas state trooper. Many had before he went on to greater things in D.C.
“Neither side is interested in a long-term transaction” Women who are not interested in marriage don’t complain about being used (except, of course, pretextually) and hence are not the subjects of this article. That said, even in this day and age, relatively few women are happy with uncommitted sex. (Very few men are either, in the long run, but that’s a different article.)
“Kiss it,” Bill Clinton said, drawing his curved p***s from his trouser front with its easily identifiable freckle. The woman had been brought to him by an Arkansas state trooper. Many had before he went on to greater things in D.C.
The concept of choice, as in you as a young woman decide whether or not to have sex, is important here. Of course, as you point out, your own conduct determines your status.
But what is disturbing is how the very concept of sexual assault is degraded. Any typical male would get disgusted by the conventional definition of such crimes – which involves physical force, threats, date drugs….
But this new fangled definition emphasises “victims” who knowingly, voluntarily approach rich and powerful men, sleep with them willingly and often for extended periods, and usually do so with ulterior motive (monetary gains, career benefits, bragging rights) and full awareness that these men have no interest in them beyond sex. They go out in public with them, willingly continue to communicate, even (as was the case in one of the trials) get them to meet their mothers!
That itself, in my rather old fashioned mind, is rather low behaviour (and those men are also utter scumbags). But then to pretend that you were somehow “victimised” or “assaulted”, is just despicable and contemptible. It speaks volumes about feminism and the culture of modern women, and makes me dread the kind of influences my daughter will have as she grows up – a total lack of responsibility, accountability and self respect seems to be the norm, and would obviously extend to other parts of their life.
Anne Boleyn is the finest example.
I disagree. Predators like Berlusconi and Bill Clinton would have moved on if a pretty young thing didn’t submit to sex with them. The women know it’s wrong and sup with the devil nonetheless. Neither side is interested in a long-term transaction. It’s all about bragging rights.
The concept of choice, as in you as a young woman decide whether or not to have sex, is important here. Of course, as you point out, your own conduct determines your status.
But what is disturbing is how the very concept of sexual assault is degraded. Any typical male would get disgusted by the conventional definition of such crimes – which involves physical force, threats, date drugs….
But this new fangled definition emphasises “victims” who knowingly, voluntarily approach rich and powerful men, sleep with them willingly and often for extended periods, and usually do so with ulterior motive (monetary gains, career benefits, bragging rights) and full awareness that these men have no interest in them beyond sex. They go out in public with them, willingly continue to communicate, even (as was the case in one of the trials) get them to meet their mothers!
That itself, in my rather old fashioned mind, is rather low behaviour (and those men are also utter scumbags). But then to pretend that you were somehow “victimised” or “assaulted”, is just despicable and contemptible. It speaks volumes about feminism and the culture of modern women, and makes me dread the kind of influences my daughter will have as she grows up – a total lack of responsibility, accountability and self respect seems to be the norm, and would obviously extend to other parts of their life.
I’m a fully paid-up member of the Mary Harrington Fan Club, but I disagree with her conclusion: “I wish I had a more upbeat message, the cold truth is this: if you attract the attention of men with big appetites and bigger bank balances, and you don’t want to be used either as a sex toy or political weapon, heed the medieval proverb. “She who sups with the devil should use a long spoon.”
This is wrong. There is a very upbeat message here for beautiful young women, a truth that will warm their hearts in the long run. If you don’t want to be used a sex toy or political weapon… don’t have sex with him. Contrary to what you read in Cosmo, you don’t attract a man by having sex with him; you attract a man by the prospect of having sex with him.
Or to put it differently, there is a simple, timeless truth that explains, diagnoses and cures most of the contemporary hand-wringing by women about the state of male-female relationships: “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Older men are attracted to younger women for biological reasons. Younger women are often attracted to older men for the consequences of greater maturity and security e.g. elevated conversation and sexual skills, interesting and/or important professional and friendship network, mentoring in social mores, more affluent lifestyle, travel, pampering etc. In short, accelerated personal development.
The mix of attractive/intelligent/ambitious young women and powerful, high status or relatively wealthy men is always going to have the same result. This is never going to change, ever, and in fact the greater the clucking and s**t-shaming, the greater the thrill of transgression.
It’s futile and IMHO sour-faced to bemoan the fact. It’s also false to consider sexual relations to be primarily for the benefit of men; that the only successful/worthwhile relationships are ones that end in together-foreverness; and that a woman, post-relationship, has necessarily given away something precious without due recompense.
Well said. It is as ancient as David and Bathsheba.
What a strange comment… you start by defending the (shall we say) ‘evolutionary’ coherence of old, rich men coupling with young, fertile women.
But then in an abrupt shift, you reject all the ‘evolutionary’ facts which support that conclusion – that men in general seek more sexual activity and variety, that women in general seek the emotional stability that marriage can give to sex, that loose women would be less desirable to old rich men.
The bits you support and the bits you reject all spring from the same underlying analysis – men are producing lots and lots of sperm every day, women are producing one ovum per month, and their respective minds and bodies (and desires and outlooks and so forth) are built to accommodate the reproductive demands of those basic facts.
The real question is how we should shape our social relations in light of these basic facts. As you say, men will always want to couple with young women, women will always want to couple with successful men. So how does that affect old women? And unsuccessful men?
Well said. It is as ancient as David and Bathsheba.
What a strange comment… you start by defending the (shall we say) ‘evolutionary’ coherence of old, rich men coupling with young, fertile women.
But then in an abrupt shift, you reject all the ‘evolutionary’ facts which support that conclusion – that men in general seek more sexual activity and variety, that women in general seek the emotional stability that marriage can give to sex, that loose women would be less desirable to old rich men.
The bits you support and the bits you reject all spring from the same underlying analysis – men are producing lots and lots of sperm every day, women are producing one ovum per month, and their respective minds and bodies (and desires and outlooks and so forth) are built to accommodate the reproductive demands of those basic facts.
The real question is how we should shape our social relations in light of these basic facts. As you say, men will always want to couple with young women, women will always want to couple with successful men. So how does that affect old women? And unsuccessful men?
Older men are attracted to younger women for biological reasons. Younger women are often attracted to older men for the consequences of greater maturity and security e.g. elevated conversation and sexual skills, interesting and/or important professional and friendship network, mentoring in social mores, more affluent lifestyle, travel, pampering etc. In short, accelerated personal development.
The mix of attractive/intelligent/ambitious young women and powerful, high status or relatively wealthy men is always going to have the same result. This is never going to change, ever, and in fact the greater the clucking and s**t-shaming, the greater the thrill of transgression.
It’s futile and IMHO sour-faced to bemoan the fact. It’s also false to consider sexual relations to be primarily for the benefit of men; that the only successful/worthwhile relationships are ones that end in together-foreverness; and that a woman, post-relationship, has necessarily given away something precious without due recompense.
Bravo!! This superb piece of writing may finally drag me into the Mary Harrington fan club. I now see what the fuss is about! A laser-sharp and unforgiving critical analysis of the toxic soup of politics, sex and power.
“So whatever we may wish to tell ourselves about how #MeToo changed everything on this front, the reality is: #MeToo changed very little.” This struck a particular chord with me as I am witness to too much first- and second- hand experience. But it’s far worse than people realise. In reality, as monstrous as Harvey Weinstein was, he was only thrown under the bus to ensure worse crimes didn’t come to light. And this observation is particularly poignant: “If a lower status woman accuses a higher status man of sexual impropriety, few will pay much attention – except that man’s political enemies.” Sadly, yes. And the waters get further muddied by honey traps, like the one set for notorious sexual predator, Dominique Strauss-Khan (Harrington could have included that case as a poignant example of the political power games in this piece!) Real victims rarely see the light of day.
One of the lessons to learn from all of this is, when a particular scandal is getting attention, it’s probably by design, to hide a far worse scandal that’s being swept under the carpet.
On a more hopeful note, I’ve recently found myself speaking to a variety of teenagers at various events. Their robust, no-nonsense dismissal of sexual politics and gender identity madness is stark. Nor are they obsessed with digital technology, favouring reality over unreality. The pendulum has swung far from the social-media captured Millennial snowflakes. The next chapter, as these kids hit the workplace, will be fascinating to watch.
Can but hope the teenagers you have been meeting are of a common kind. Not sure they are, sadly.
So was DSK a honey trap, then, rather a notorious sexual predator doing his normal thing in a place where he did not have the contacts to quash the problem? Not unthinkable by any means, but what is your actual proof?
“lower status woman accuses a higher status man of sexual impropriety, few will pay much attention”
Even higher status women don’t care about rampant sexual assaults as long as it’s “other”, lower status women – as the me-too gangs, Guardian writers, and female social proved when it came to lower class, underage victims at Rochdale, Rotherham,cetc (though very vociferous when it comes to imaginary “rape culture” in offices and universities).
Real victims rarely see the light of day.
Very true.
Can but hope the teenagers you have been meeting are of a common kind. Not sure they are, sadly.
So was DSK a honey trap, then, rather a notorious sexual predator doing his normal thing in a place where he did not have the contacts to quash the problem? Not unthinkable by any means, but what is your actual proof?
“lower status woman accuses a higher status man of sexual impropriety, few will pay much attention”
Even higher status women don’t care about rampant sexual assaults as long as it’s “other”, lower status women – as the me-too gangs, Guardian writers, and female social proved when it came to lower class, underage victims at Rochdale, Rotherham,cetc (though very vociferous when it comes to imaginary “rape culture” in offices and universities).
Real victims rarely see the light of day.
Very true.
Bravo!! This superb piece of writing may finally drag me into the Mary Harrington fan club. I now see what the fuss is about! A laser-sharp and unforgiving critical analysis of the toxic soup of politics, sex and power.
“So whatever we may wish to tell ourselves about how #MeToo changed everything on this front, the reality is: #MeToo changed very little.” This struck a particular chord with me as I am witness to too much first- and second- hand experience. But it’s far worse than people realise. In reality, as monstrous as Harvey Weinstein was, he was only thrown under the bus to ensure worse crimes didn’t come to light. And this observation is particularly poignant: “If a lower status woman accuses a higher status man of sexual impropriety, few will pay much attention – except that man’s political enemies.” Sadly, yes. And the waters get further muddied by honey traps, like the one set for notorious sexual predator, Dominique Strauss-Khan (Harrington could have included that case as a poignant example of the political power games in this piece!) Real victims rarely see the light of day.
One of the lessons to learn from all of this is, when a particular scandal is getting attention, it’s probably by design, to hide a far worse scandal that’s being swept under the carpet.
On a more hopeful note, I’ve recently found myself speaking to a variety of teenagers at various events. Their robust, no-nonsense dismissal of sexual politics and gender identity madness is stark. Nor are they obsessed with digital technology, favouring reality over unreality. The pendulum has swung far from the social-media captured Millennial snowflakes. The next chapter, as these kids hit the workplace, will be fascinating to watch.
So young attractive women never exploit foolish older men to get advantages over other women and men?
Of course they do, but the men who Mary Harrington is discussing are not foolish older men.Quite the opposite.
A well worn path.
Nah…
Indeed, all men can be foolish, young or old, rich or poor. I’ve never met one who wasn’t, at one time or another. And equally women can be foolish. Perhaps in different ways, but foolish nonetheless.
We immortalize this salient truth quite regularly:
The lights are on, but you’re not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another kiss is what it takes
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep
Your throat is tight, you can’t breathe
Another kiss is all you need
… Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love
… You see the signs, but you can’t read
You’re running at a different speed
Your heart beats in double time
Another kiss and you’ll be mine
A one-track mind, you can’t be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there’s some left for you
You don’t mind if you do
Foolish, indeed. It’s what we do.
A well worn path.
Nah…
Indeed, all men can be foolish, young or old, rich or poor. I’ve never met one who wasn’t, at one time or another. And equally women can be foolish. Perhaps in different ways, but foolish nonetheless.
We immortalize this salient truth quite regularly:
The lights are on, but you’re not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another kiss is what it takes
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep
Your throat is tight, you can’t breathe
Another kiss is all you need
… Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love
… You see the signs, but you can’t read
You’re running at a different speed
Your heart beats in double time
Another kiss and you’ll be mine
A one-track mind, you can’t be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there’s some left for you
You don’t mind if you do
Foolish, indeed. It’s what we do.
Of course they do, but the men who Mary Harrington is discussing are not foolish older men.Quite the opposite.
So young attractive women never exploit foolish older men to get advantages over other women and men?
That’s not particularly rampant, not oversexed. That’s a biologically normal male who has had the opportunity.
Cesare Borgia* left behind twelve children and died at only 31!
(*1475-1507.)
Indeed. I also have two ex-wives (or had, until one of them died) and three children, and if there were a way for me to have had more sex with more women while evading the consequences thereof, there certainly would have been the will. And I’m in no way exceptional. All that sentence tells us is that Berlusconi had sex at least five times, and had two failed marriages. People’s appetites are constrained by socio-economic pressures, and a rich man will pay to remove those constraints.
Indeed. I also have two ex-wives (or had, until one of them died) and three children, and if there were a way for me to have had more sex with more women while evading the consequences thereof, there certainly would have been the will. And I’m in no way exceptional. All that sentence tells us is that Berlusconi had sex at least five times, and had two failed marriages. People’s appetites are constrained by socio-economic pressures, and a rich man will pay to remove those constraints.
Er, the ‘oversexed’ epithet may perhaps have been in reference to the various other women not comprised in the foregoing.
I’m sure it was, but we know nothing about the man’s sexual appetites or performance to suggest that it is any different from the average. Let’s not pretend that he was biologically or psychologically an outlier in such matters. Socially and economically, he had the ability to do what most men are capable of.
I’m sure it was, but we know nothing about the man’s sexual appetites or performance to suggest that it is any different from the average. Let’s not pretend that he was biologically or psychologically an outlier in such matters. Socially and economically, he had the ability to do what most men are capable of.
So we are to be full of pride if one fancies the same sex, or have fantasies of becoming a woman, yet be disgraced by a healthy appetite for nubile, wanting young women? Strange times indeed.
Exactly right. What Mary describes as “rampantly oversexed” is no more than ‘normal’ male behavior given opportunity & time (and a very loose sense of right & wrong). That this truth about the male sexual appetite still comes as a surprise, more than half a century after the ‘Summer of Love’….”love the one you’re with”….”afternoon delight”…”let’s get it on”…’sexual healing”…”If it feels this good getting used you just keep on using me… Until you use me up!”….is always a bit shocking.
Consider the study conducted back in 1982: male college students were approached by an ‘average looking’ female who said, “I’ve been noticing you around campus lately and find you very attractive. Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?” 75% of all men provided an enthusiastic YES. 0% of all women answered equivalently when asked by an ‘average looking male.
It is, as they say, our nature!
True. That’s not oversexed.
In the gay scene, where bed posts have thousands of notches. he would have been considered very conservative.
Cesare Borgia* left behind twelve children and died at only 31!
(*1475-1507.)
Er, the ‘oversexed’ epithet may perhaps have been in reference to the various other women not comprised in the foregoing.
So we are to be full of pride if one fancies the same sex, or have fantasies of becoming a woman, yet be disgraced by a healthy appetite for nubile, wanting young women? Strange times indeed.
Exactly right. What Mary describes as “rampantly oversexed” is no more than ‘normal’ male behavior given opportunity & time (and a very loose sense of right & wrong). That this truth about the male sexual appetite still comes as a surprise, more than half a century after the ‘Summer of Love’….”love the one you’re with”….”afternoon delight”…”let’s get it on”…’sexual healing”…”If it feels this good getting used you just keep on using me… Until you use me up!”….is always a bit shocking.
Consider the study conducted back in 1982: male college students were approached by an ‘average looking’ female who said, “I’ve been noticing you around campus lately and find you very attractive. Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?” 75% of all men provided an enthusiastic YES. 0% of all women answered equivalently when asked by an ‘average looking male.
It is, as they say, our nature!
True. That’s not oversexed.
In the gay scene, where bed posts have thousands of notches. he would have been considered very conservative.
That’s not particularly rampant, not oversexed. That’s a biologically normal male who has had the opportunity.
If Clinton had been a Republican, he’d have never survived the Gennifer Flowers affair and we would have been spared his criminal presidency and his wholly loathsome wife.
If Clinton had been a Republican, he’d have never survived the Gennifer Flowers affair and we would have been spared his criminal presidency and his wholly loathsome wife.
I was sufficiently interested in Pip Fallow’s article in Unherd https://unherd.com/author/pip-fallow/ to buy his book. He was a bad boy in his youth and, it seems, very attractive to women. My brother-in- law was a scally of the first order and the ladies fawned over him. (If you detect envy you are correct).
Whether Berlusconi or Tommy Shelby, should women that are attracted to the type take some responsibility for the results?
Also worth noting that the uber-rich and uber-powerful don’t get there by operating to the same moral codes broadly in place for most of the rest of us. Whilst the dynamics may not be sexual, there are often many wrecked men in the wake of these people.
Fallow’s book, by the way, is very much more nuanced and interesting than the article suggested.
I agree; especially with the assessment of Fallow’s book – it i excellent and deserves far more attention than I think that it has received.
Interesting observations. As someone who probably once fell for the charms of people like your brother I would argue that women who are easily captivated by these types of men usually suffer from very low self-esteem, were possibly bullied extensively by other women, and might have come from a broken home. They are yearning for attention. Don’t be fooled by the sculpted bodies and perfect make-up. The more manicured on the outside, the more of a mess on the inside. That’s how it usually goes. Narcissistic men have a well-attuned radar for such women, and prey on them. So, in a way, yes… women can take responsibility and break the cycle by fixing their self-worth and inner confidence.
It’s hard for me to believe that the young women (eye candy) who prance around in slinky bikinis on the bow of yachts worldwide for the pleasure of the owners suffer from low self esteem.
Horse hockey. The gorgeous, intelligent, slinky bikini-wearing young nubile women, who prance about on the bows of super yachts worldwide, know exactly what they are doing. Both are getting precisely what they want.
Are you suggesting, Amy, that “these types of men” must have had healthy, happy childhoods? That they experience no ambivalence? That their behavior reveals no signs of neuroticism? In other words, are you suggesting that we should excuse women for their foolish or selfish behavior, but that we should not excuse men for foolish or selfish behavior? That sounds like a double standard to me.
It’s hard for me to believe that the young women (eye candy) who prance around in slinky bikinis on the bow of yachts worldwide for the pleasure of the owners suffer from low self esteem.
Horse hockey. The gorgeous, intelligent, slinky bikini-wearing young nubile women, who prance about on the bows of super yachts worldwide, know exactly what they are doing. Both are getting precisely what they want.
Are you suggesting, Amy, that “these types of men” must have had healthy, happy childhoods? That they experience no ambivalence? That their behavior reveals no signs of neuroticism? In other words, are you suggesting that we should excuse women for their foolish or selfish behavior, but that we should not excuse men for foolish or selfish behavior? That sounds like a double standard to me.
Women take responsibility for their actions? That’s just misogyny.
I agree; especially with the assessment of Fallow’s book – it i excellent and deserves far more attention than I think that it has received.
Interesting observations. As someone who probably once fell for the charms of people like your brother I would argue that women who are easily captivated by these types of men usually suffer from very low self-esteem, were possibly bullied extensively by other women, and might have come from a broken home. They are yearning for attention. Don’t be fooled by the sculpted bodies and perfect make-up. The more manicured on the outside, the more of a mess on the inside. That’s how it usually goes. Narcissistic men have a well-attuned radar for such women, and prey on them. So, in a way, yes… women can take responsibility and break the cycle by fixing their self-worth and inner confidence.
Women take responsibility for their actions? That’s just misogyny.
I was sufficiently interested in Pip Fallow’s article in Unherd https://unherd.com/author/pip-fallow/ to buy his book. He was a bad boy in his youth and, it seems, very attractive to women. My brother-in- law was a scally of the first order and the ladies fawned over him. (If you detect envy you are correct).
Whether Berlusconi or Tommy Shelby, should women that are attracted to the type take some responsibility for the results?
Also worth noting that the uber-rich and uber-powerful don’t get there by operating to the same moral codes broadly in place for most of the rest of us. Whilst the dynamics may not be sexual, there are often many wrecked men in the wake of these people.
Fallow’s book, by the way, is very much more nuanced and interesting than the article suggested.
Will men ever be safe from young women abusing their power to extract money and favours from wealthy men?
Will men ever be safe from young women abusing their power to extract money and favours from wealthy men?
“But it doesn’t follow from this that young, pretty women are any safer today.”
Neither does it follow that “eligible” men with healthy bank balances are ny safer today from pretty young women
“But it doesn’t follow from this that young, pretty women are any safer today.”
Neither does it follow that “eligible” men with healthy bank balances are ny safer today from pretty young women
How refreshing to read an article in which women are assumed to have agency. As against the usual assumption “I just helplessly fall into the beds of anyone ‘more powerful'”
How refreshing to read an article in which women are assumed to have agency. As against the usual assumption “I just helplessly fall into the beds of anyone ‘more powerful'”
Wow, using Ghislaine Maxwell, the pimp and groomer as a women used and victimised. Bold move!
With an obscene amount of inherited wealth!
The article is, quite obviously, an analysis of power –not a morality play.
With an obscene amount of inherited wealth!
The article is, quite obviously, an analysis of power –not a morality play.
Wow, using Ghislaine Maxwell, the pimp and groomer as a women used and victimised. Bold move!
“But it doesn’t follow from this that young, pretty women are any safer today.”
Safer from what?
Human beings use human beings. It’s what we do. We objectify the Other always, even when we insist we are not. You are all bit players in MY drama….just as much as I am a bit player in YOURS. We can’t be anything else, actually. Neither of us can see the world through the Other’s eyes, no matter how much we may want to. And so we use each other as we see each other. Most times with benign indifference; sometimes with a clear and direct intent. Sometimes kindly; sometimes with love; sometimes cruelly and with malice.
All of that is the adult world. It’s always been the adult world. We each act, most typically in our own best interests (buyer & seller beware!)
And in this selfish world filled with selfish people there exists Desire, and Desire drives markets, and markets welcome transactions which allow that Desire — in all its various forms — to be satisfied. Fundamental to all this is the fact, the biologically essential fact, that men lust for women, and in particular for beautiful women. Equally women lust for men, and in particular for powerful men.
“Moonlight and love songs… Never out of date….Hearts full of passion… Jealousy and hate. Woman needs man, and man must have his mate. That no one can deny. As time goes by.”
And so, yes, powerful men will leverage their wealth & power to attract beautiful women….and beautiful women will leverage their beauty to attract powerful men. Quid pro quo. Each, ideally, gets what each wants,
And that, too, is life.
We all trade in that market. Sometimes both players win. Sometimes not.
Ms. Harrington tells us, “the inevitable resulting confluence between high-status men and young, nubile women (has not) grown any less asymmetrical in terms of raw power.” But we would ask, who exactly holds which power in this ‘asymmetry’?
Dietrich’s Lola Lola, a poor cabaret singer wraps the distinguished Professor Rath around her finger. “Men cluster to me… Like moths around a flame…And if their wings burn…I know I’m not to blame.” The story ends with his death & destruction. A power asymmetry, true, but not in the direction indicated by socio-economic power & status. No name actresses brought down Weinstein. A 22 yr. old intern caused the President to be impeached. A children’s governess ‘entraps’ Captain von Trapp. Wallis Simpson brings down a king. Raw power, it seems, is sometimes not what it seems. And the truth is every sexual relationship contains an innate power imbalance, a power dynamic which is remarkably, and sometimes surprisingly fluid.
In the end, young pretty women remain young pretty women: the objects of a sexual desire expressed by men both young & old, rich & poor. What happens next is life…and life, always, is risk.
That’s a brilliant comment, B. I could have written something very similar, and I probably would have if I had read this article a few days ago. By now, hardly anyone will read my comment, including you. For the record, though, I thank you (and several other commenters).
There’s surely no need to cite dubious statistics or ideological theories to make this particular point when you can quote enduringly popular movies such as The Blue Angel and Casablanca. The former was a cynical commentary, the latter a naive or sentimental one, but both became classics because they relied on what everyone knew about sex and what everyone always had known about it–until a few years ago.
That’s a brilliant comment, B. I could have written something very similar, and I probably would have if I had read this article a few days ago. By now, hardly anyone will read my comment, including you. For the record, though, I thank you (and several other commenters).
There’s surely no need to cite dubious statistics or ideological theories to make this particular point when you can quote enduringly popular movies such as The Blue Angel and Casablanca. The former was a cynical commentary, the latter a naive or sentimental one, but both became classics because they relied on what everyone knew about sex and what everyone always had known about it–until a few years ago.
“But it doesn’t follow from this that young, pretty women are any safer today.”
Safer from what?
Human beings use human beings. It’s what we do. We objectify the Other always, even when we insist we are not. You are all bit players in MY drama….just as much as I am a bit player in YOURS. We can’t be anything else, actually. Neither of us can see the world through the Other’s eyes, no matter how much we may want to. And so we use each other as we see each other. Most times with benign indifference; sometimes with a clear and direct intent. Sometimes kindly; sometimes with love; sometimes cruelly and with malice.
All of that is the adult world. It’s always been the adult world. We each act, most typically in our own best interests (buyer & seller beware!)
And in this selfish world filled with selfish people there exists Desire, and Desire drives markets, and markets welcome transactions which allow that Desire — in all its various forms — to be satisfied. Fundamental to all this is the fact, the biologically essential fact, that men lust for women, and in particular for beautiful women. Equally women lust for men, and in particular for powerful men.
“Moonlight and love songs… Never out of date….Hearts full of passion… Jealousy and hate. Woman needs man, and man must have his mate. That no one can deny. As time goes by.”
And so, yes, powerful men will leverage their wealth & power to attract beautiful women….and beautiful women will leverage their beauty to attract powerful men. Quid pro quo. Each, ideally, gets what each wants,
And that, too, is life.
We all trade in that market. Sometimes both players win. Sometimes not.
Ms. Harrington tells us, “the inevitable resulting confluence between high-status men and young, nubile women (has not) grown any less asymmetrical in terms of raw power.” But we would ask, who exactly holds which power in this ‘asymmetry’?
Dietrich’s Lola Lola, a poor cabaret singer wraps the distinguished Professor Rath around her finger. “Men cluster to me… Like moths around a flame…And if their wings burn…I know I’m not to blame.” The story ends with his death & destruction. A power asymmetry, true, but not in the direction indicated by socio-economic power & status. No name actresses brought down Weinstein. A 22 yr. old intern caused the President to be impeached. A children’s governess ‘entraps’ Captain von Trapp. Wallis Simpson brings down a king. Raw power, it seems, is sometimes not what it seems. And the truth is every sexual relationship contains an innate power imbalance, a power dynamic which is remarkably, and sometimes surprisingly fluid.
In the end, young pretty women remain young pretty women: the objects of a sexual desire expressed by men both young & old, rich & poor. What happens next is life…and life, always, is risk.
You should always distrust anyone with charisma.
I wondered why no one trusts me
I wondered why no one trusts me
You should always distrust anyone with charisma.
Not that it matters, but it’s Ruby Rubacuori (the heart-stealer).
Much more serious is the ommission of geriatric paedophilic sex pest Joe Biden from the list of Berlusconi, Clinton et al.
Or do you fear the censor’s mouse too much to mention the hair sniffing and the inappropriate touching?
Not that it matters, but it’s Ruby Rubacuori (the heart-stealer).
Much more serious is the ommission of geriatric paedophilic sex pest Joe Biden from the list of Berlusconi, Clinton et al.
Or do you fear the censor’s mouse too much to mention the hair sniffing and the inappropriate touching?
Another superb piece of writing, Mary. Your grown-up, no-nonsense take on this fundamental aspect of human nature is so refreshing. Some things will never change.
Another superb piece of writing, Mary. Your grown-up, no-nonsense take on this fundamental aspect of human nature is so refreshing. Some things will never change.
Another great MH article. Her writing is nearly as entertaining as Julie Burchill’s and much more interesting, learned and important.
Yeah – Burchill soon turned into a caricature- “”say something controversial Julie”.
Yeah – Burchill soon turned into a caricature- “”say something controversial Julie”.
Another great MH article. Her writing is nearly as entertaining as Julie Burchill’s and much more interesting, learned and important.
Frankly, who cares? Berlusconi was the best PM Italy had, possibly ever, and built up both a financial and media empire, with entrepreneurial skill and brainpower. Boris is a jumped up journalist, possibly the worst ever PM.. No comparison, and as has been eluded, women used Berlusconi for their own means and ends.
… and with a little help from the brothers in P2
One wonders how different the Anglosphere might be if our leaders were overwhelmingly heterosexual. RIP Silvio.
… and with a little help from the brothers in P2
One wonders how different the Anglosphere might be if our leaders were overwhelmingly heterosexual. RIP Silvio.
Frankly, who cares? Berlusconi was the best PM Italy had, possibly ever, and built up both a financial and media empire, with entrepreneurial skill and brainpower. Boris is a jumped up journalist, possibly the worst ever PM.. No comparison, and as has been eluded, women used Berlusconi for their own means and ends.
“Hypergamy is the art of marrying, or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior socialogical or educational background.” I know it is sexist but I am 69 and if I won a huge sum on the lottery I would find myself very attractive to women much younger than me. Would I be flattered? Yes. Would I like it? No. I already have a superior educational background (i.e. knowledge) compared to around 90% of the population of females or males, but it hasn’t found me a permanent partner afer16 years as a single dad. Because I have no money.
Powerful people tend to be corrupt, they also have that ‘aura’ that wealth bestows. That ‘aura’ is permanent when you are wealthy. Imagine when you are utterly skint, brassic, broke, potless. Your head is down. You feel like a fugitive. You desperately buy a scratch card, or put a bet on a horse. You win. Suddenly you have £20-30 in your pocket. Your head lifts and suddenly you are now part of the world again.
As for Ghislaine Maxwell she spent her childhood and life in thrall to revolting obnoxious men, including Dad. Defending her is like saying child bausers should be excused because they were abused!!!!???? If you were abused as a child then the horror suffered should not be a ‘reason’ to become an abuser, or to be forgiven for it.
One thing NOTICEABLE: MsHarrington completely ignores ANY accusations regarding Trump. Who, of course, has NO HISTORY of behaving badly to women.
Do writers on here ever take into account any opposite argumernts?
“Hypergamy is the art of marrying, or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior socialogical or educational background.” I know it is sexist but I am 69 and if I won a huge sum on the lottery I would find myself very attractive to women much younger than me. Would I be flattered? Yes. Would I like it? No. I already have a superior educational background (i.e. knowledge) compared to around 90% of the population of females or males, but it hasn’t found me a permanent partner afer16 years as a single dad. Because I have no money.
Powerful people tend to be corrupt, they also have that ‘aura’ that wealth bestows. That ‘aura’ is permanent when you are wealthy. Imagine when you are utterly skint, brassic, broke, potless. Your head is down. You feel like a fugitive. You desperately buy a scratch card, or put a bet on a horse. You win. Suddenly you have £20-30 in your pocket. Your head lifts and suddenly you are now part of the world again.
As for Ghislaine Maxwell she spent her childhood and life in thrall to revolting obnoxious men, including Dad. Defending her is like saying child bausers should be excused because they were abused!!!!???? If you were abused as a child then the horror suffered should not be a ‘reason’ to become an abuser, or to be forgiven for it.
One thing NOTICEABLE: MsHarrington completely ignores ANY accusations regarding Trump. Who, of course, has NO HISTORY of behaving badly to women.
Do writers on here ever take into account any opposite argumernts?
Interesting comments. Lots of men going on about what women really want.
So I’ll add my two cents. From a different angle.
Putting aside, for the moment, Mary’s concerns about the political and sociological concerns, what horrifies and amazes me is the thought that some women just like bad boys (“…priaptic, piratical…”) and don’t at all mind getting knocked around a bit, figuratively (or sometimes even …) in the pursuit thereof. Large piles of money seem to help, but aren’t always required.
It’s a crazy world, inhabited by all kinds of strange people, male and female. Some behave in ways I understand, others (most, really) do not. Shaking my fist at them (figuratively) just makes me seem like an idiot. I try to put my efforts into pretending that I’m not horrified or amazed.
P.S. Ya gotta love Berlusconi’s schpiel about conflicts of interest! If we’re ever to defeat this digital currency/social credit rating scheme it’ll be that kind of attitude that does it.
Interesting comments. Lots of men going on about what women really want.
So I’ll add my two cents. From a different angle.
Putting aside, for the moment, Mary’s concerns about the political and sociological concerns, what horrifies and amazes me is the thought that some women just like bad boys (“…priaptic, piratical…”) and don’t at all mind getting knocked around a bit, figuratively (or sometimes even …) in the pursuit thereof. Large piles of money seem to help, but aren’t always required.
It’s a crazy world, inhabited by all kinds of strange people, male and female. Some behave in ways I understand, others (most, really) do not. Shaking my fist at them (figuratively) just makes me seem like an idiot. I try to put my efforts into pretending that I’m not horrified or amazed.
P.S. Ya gotta love Berlusconi’s schpiel about conflicts of interest! If we’re ever to defeat this digital currency/social credit rating scheme it’ll be that kind of attitude that does it.
Bunga-bunga was actually the punch line in a very funny joke about three white explorers taken captive by an African tribe. They are condemned to death. “But first, the bunga-bunga,” each is told. Let your imagination run free.
Bunga-bunga was actually the punch line in a very funny joke about three white explorers taken captive by an African tribe. They are condemned to death. “But first, the bunga-bunga,” each is told. Let your imagination run free.
A really thought provoking article. Thanks.
A really thought provoking article. Thanks.
“The term “bunga bunga” was reportedly introduced to the world by Ruby Ruacori”
I believe Ruacori should read Rubacuori ie Ruba-cuori “stealer of hearts¨.
“The term “bunga bunga” was reportedly introduced to the world by Ruby Ruacori”
I believe Ruacori should read Rubacuori ie Ruba-cuori “stealer of hearts¨.
Even more terrifying in the States – amidst current social and “information” chaos – is that we know what we don’t know. Within this penumbra hides the extent of failure of civil society, institutional and economic injustice, corruption of power and horrors of human trafficking. The justice sought by #metoo seems to have been displaced, with a magical wave of hand, categorically obscured by … well, what does one call it ? … this infinitely mutable cipher ? We are told it’s a social movement.
The horrors of human trafficking is the real issue. Not to mention grooming gangs. Some women fraudulently present themselves as victims when they really had full agency thus taking attention away from others who are genuine victims. And many of those are just children.
The horrors of human trafficking is the real issue. Not to mention grooming gangs. Some women fraudulently present themselves as victims when they really had full agency thus taking attention away from others who are genuine victims. And many of those are just children.
Even more terrifying in the States – amidst current social and “information” chaos – is that we know what we don’t know. Within this penumbra hides the extent of failure of civil society, institutional and economic injustice, corruption of power and horrors of human trafficking. The justice sought by #metoo seems to have been displaced, with a magical wave of hand, categorically obscured by … well, what does one call it ? … this infinitely mutable cipher ? We are told it’s a social movement.
Do attractive young women have no agency? Did some mysterious power deprive them of circumspection and caution? Or are they always and everywhere unwilling victims of their own sexuality?
Do attractive young women have no agency? Did some mysterious power deprive them of circumspection and caution? Or are they always and everywhere unwilling victims of their own sexuality?
I find it odd that someone as insightful as Harrington could write an article on MeToo without even mentioning its chief contribution: a recrudescence of vigilantism. No wonder that more recent ideological movements have undermined due process even within the legal system.
Men are programmed through their DNA to be attracted to women (usually) whereby health and certain physical attributes are fundamentally linked to a woman’s likelihood of being able to physically carry a child and be able to look after it. Women (usually) are programmed through their DNA to seek out the strongest male to ensure any offspring will have a better chance of being healthy and provided for. It doesn’t matter how those criteria are presented in the modern lives of human beings, these fundamental principles still apply no matter what level of intellectual sophistication we may believe we’ve achieved. Those extremely powerful programs have been locked in since the dawn of time for most creatures, including humans. It’s the power source of procreation and always will be.