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Have we stopped speaking to the dead? For hundreds of years, today was the day we marked our relationship with the departed

A typical scene from Poland. Photo: Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images

A typical scene from Poland. Photo: Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images


November 2, 2020   6 mins

This year has been a bad year to die, and a very hard time to lose a loved one. The experience of dying and grieving has become particularly abnormal in the midst of the pandemic; the fear of infection forces us to act in ways which run counter to our deepest instincts. Imagine telling someone, last Christmas, that in 2020 many people would have to face the prospect of dying alone, or surrounded by masked strangers, even while their family were desperately longing to be with them.

A year ago, it would have been unthinkable that we might be prevented, by law, from visiting the dying or comforting the grieving. Who would have ever thought there would be national rules restricting who you can hug at a funeral? A year ago, you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to imagine it; it would have been too grim to contemplate.

There’s a particular horror in the idea of dying alone, and the fear of a lonely death haunts many of us. But in one or way another, death is always lonely. The grave is a solitary place, and death is a journey you have to undertake alone. Different cultures develop their own ways of lessening the loneliness of the grave, providing those who are grieving with some continuing connection to the dead. In the Christian Church, for the past thousand years, an important season for bridging the gap between the living and the dead has been the twin feasts of All Saints’ and All Souls’, on 1 and 2 November.

As the names suggest, both feasts offer the very opposite of solitude: they are opportunities to connect with multitudes, communities, vast companies of the dead. The first day celebrates the saints in heaven, the “cloud of witnesses” and the “great multitude which no man could number”, as they are described in Biblical texts read at this feast; the second day is for everyone else, all the “faithful departed” — an even greater crowd of souls.

The two feasts, now entwined, have separate histories, and weren’t always kept so close together. They have their origins in a diversity of local feasts which emerged in different parts of the Church during the first millennium, some commemorating all the saints, others all the departed. In different regions these were observed on various dates, in the spring and summer as well as in the winter. By the ninth century, however, 1 November had become the predominant date for the feast of All Saints’, and over the course of the next few centuries it was gradually supplemented by a second commemoration the following day.

By the later Middle Ages, these days formed a coherent and widely observed season of remembrance, known in medieval England as “Hallowtide”. The two days had distinct but related aims: All Saints’ was intended to celebrate the glorious dead and to ask for their prayers, but the purpose of All Souls’ was to pray for the dead, for those in Purgatory who needed the prayers of the living to help them in their passage to heaven. It was a time not only to remember the dead but to look after them, to give them assistance and comfort. On the nights of Hallowtide, church bells rang out to reassure the souls in Purgatory that the living had not forgotten them. It must have been profoundly comforting to the grieving, too, to feel that they could still do something to help those they had lost.

Caring for the dead wasn’t just for Hallowtide, though. In the Middle Ages, looking after the dead was a duty incumbent on believers all year round. Prayer for the dead, known and unknown, was a regular feature of medieval devotion, and was seen as an important act of charity. Believers were encouraged to pray for the souls of those they had known in life — their family, godparents, or benefactors — but also for those whom they had not personally known, but with whom they shared some connection: deceased members of their professional guild, or all the dead buried in their parish church. And they were asked to pray too, as many still do today, for those who had no one else to pray for them. No one was to be left alone in death.

It was important to care for the bodies of the dead as well as their souls. To bury the dead was one of the seven Works of Mercy, a set of charitable deeds medieval Christians were encouraged to perform. To modern eyes it can be surprising: we understand feeding the hungry and clothing the poor as impulses of charity, but why burying the dead? It was not just a response to a social need — assisting those who had no family to bury them — but another manifestation of the idea that the dead needed the help of the living; the need for community and mutual aid did not end with death.

Medieval ghost stories tell of corpses who can’t rest until they’ve had a decent burial, and have to wander the earth asking the living for their help and prayers. In other stories, a person who buries a penniless stranger out of charity is then rewarded in some fabulous way by the ghost of the deceased (a story-type known to folklorists as “the Grateful Dead”).

At the Reformation, many of these practices by which people had sustained a relationship with the dead were banned. All Saints’ Day survived in a circumscribed form, but All Souls’ Day was suppressed; it was no longer permitted to pray for the dead or say masses for their souls. This was a huge cultural shift, and some historians have seen it as the most significant and painful rupture of the Reformation, violently severing the links between the living and the dead. It meant, in the words of the historian Greg Walker, “an end to those spiritual continuities that had hitherto bound the generations of the living and the dead together in mutually supportive collaboration, and tied both to the mediation of the saints in heaven”.

For centuries, people had believed that there were practical things they could do to communicate with their dead, both to help them and to ask for their help. They could have masses said for them, light candles, go on pilgrimage; they could ask saints for assistance and they could seek comfort for their departed loved ones, all in the hope that one day they would be helped in their turn. People in the Middle Ages were constantly speaking to and for the dead. And then, suddenly, all those channels of communication were closed.

The suppression of All Souls Day meant that Britain doesn’t today have the kinds of widespread customs which are still common in Catholic countries, such as visiting churchyards to bring flowers or light candles on the graves of loved ones. But the longing to feel a connection with the dead is a deep-seated desire, and it wasn’t so easily rooted out. Even after prayers on All Souls’ Day were officially prevented within churches, the desire lingered in unofficial, private rituals of commemoration. Children still went door-to-door begging for “soul cakes”, originally cakes given in exchange for prayers to help the dead out of Purgatory. Long after such prayers had been forbidden, the custom of “souling” continued, and survived well into the 20th century in some parts of Britain.

In pockets of rural England, All Souls’ Day also lingered in local traditions of going out to fields or hilltops at midnight and lighting fires to pray for departed family and friends. These were called “tindles” or “teen-lay” fires (“tind” is an old word for kindling a fire). One witness of such a custom in 19th-century Lancashire memorably described how each family would go to the highest hill near their home and set fire to a large bunch of straw, praying for the dead until the fire burned down; he recalled seeing the bright fires burning in the darkness in every direction, forming a circle all round the horizon.

In the past century the British festival calendar has changed rapidly, and today’s All Souls’ Day doesn’t look much like it would have done in the Middle Ages. It might seem strange to say it, but the modern version of this early-November season actually offers a much more intense focus on death than the medieval Hallowtide did. For one thing, it’s now heralded by a much bigger version of Halloween than was at all common in the Middle Ages. Even a few decades ago Halloween, though popular in some parts of Britain, was far from ubiquitous — but now its grinning skeletons and ghosts are everywhere, and gaining more ground by the year.

On top of that, the modern All Souls’ Day has also been influenced by the fact that — by sheer coincidence — it now falls close to Remembrance Day. That relatively new commemoration, scarcely a century old, means that for several weeks at the beginning of November we’re constantly surrounded by bright-red reminders of mortality: the poppy, one of the most ancient symbols of death, invested with new meaning in modern times.

So from late October to mid-November, images of death are impossible to avoid, whether it’s shops full of Halloween costumes or poppies on coats and war memorials. Everywhere you look, you see a memento mori. In effect, we’ve created a modern fortnight of Remembrance — a longer and more intensive season for encountering mortality, whether to laugh or to mourn, than the medieval Hallowtide ever was.

Both Halloween and Remembrance Day have had to be severely curtailed this year; All Souls’ Day will once again be focused on private, family rituals, as in the days of tindle fires. In the thousand-year history of its rise, suppression and revival, All Souls has had to be a mutable commemoration. It was only in the 20th century that the Church of England began tentatively to accept All Souls Day, but it was careful to develop its own version: officially, its purpose is to remember the dead, not to pray for their souls.

This year the Church of England is offering people who can’t get to a church the opportunity to light candles virtually. That’s only a new step in the ongoing evolution of the day, which seems more important than ever after this difficult year for the dying and the grieving. The longing for a connection with the dead is a need which never goes away.


Eleanor Parker is a historian and medievalist. She is a columnist at History Today.

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Sean Arthur Joyce
Sean Arthur Joyce
4 years ago

Thank you for this article. The fact that our technocratic elites, governments and health authorities are prohibiting people from properly laying their dead to rest marks our civilization, in historical context, as outright barbarians. (With apologies to those nations we now know from recent studies of the early Middle Ages were in fact highly developed in their own right.) Even during the 1665 bubonic plague of London, while the “plague pits” (mass graves) were being dug, a priest was required to be present to bless the dead. It wasn’t by any means a full and proper memorial service, but it was more than we’re being allowed today, thanks to exaggerated, unscientific fears about COVID. This is a travesty, an obscenity. John Ralston Saul, author of Voltaire’s Bastards: The Dictatorship of Reason in the West (a must-read), wrote nearly 30 years ago of our technocratic elites: “The technocrats of our day make the old aristocratic leaders seem profound and civilized by comparison. …by any standard comprehensible within the tradition of Western civilization, (they are) virtually illiterate. One of the reasons that (they are) unable to recognize the necessary relationship between power and morality is that moral traditions are the product of civilization and (they have) little knowledge of (their) own civilization.”

Judy Englander
Judy Englander
4 years ago

This article has opened my eyes to the significance of the days from late October to mid November. I hadn’t made the connection between Remembrance Sunday and All Saints’ and All Souls’ (Halloween). There’s also the natural backdrop you didn’t mention: most foliage is visibly dying around us as we head into the dead – or ‘sleeping’ – season of winter. Almost certainly there are more ancient memories of festivals that commemorate the annual round of nature. Fire-lighting for the dead could be a fag-end of this, as is Bonfire Night.

robert scheetz
robert scheetz
4 years ago

Secularization has deeply impoverished Western Culture. The disenchantment and displacement or trivialization of the canon by science & tech has bereft us of our rich trove of symbol. The resultant inability to read metaphoric and symbolic expression has left us with an inability to address otherwise ineffable meanings such as death.

Kester John
Kester John
4 years ago

Years ago I attended a Samhain (Halloween) outdoor pagan ceremony where the priestess talked about the veil between the worlds being thing and our being close to those who had gone before. The next morning,. November 1 I attended a C of E service where the priest said the same words. This time of year always has this “vibe” however you clothe it. The old “Bonfire Nights” of my youth before the resurgence of Halloween had the same energy. Penny for the Guy used to go door to door; now – trick or treat. And with the strong growth of neo paganism we have explicit ceremonies for the dead and the ancestors. Dumb Feasts are increasingly popular (where you set a table place for a departed one and put out some food or drink that was their favourite.) The Dia De Los Muertos has never been stronger in South America. And of course this period ends with Remebrance Day. So of course all the energies of death are connected with now before the light returns at yule tide and we celebrate Christmas. As for this time of year – Yeats said it best:

” A ghost may come;
For it is a ghost’s right,
His element is so fine
Being sharpened by his death,
To drink from the wine-breath
While our gross palates drink from the whole wine.”

Edward Seymour
Edward Seymour
4 years ago

This is the most thought provoking piece I have read in some time. Thank you. Growing up in the suburbs of west London in the late 1940s and early 50s, I never heard of Hallow’een. Even as late as the 1960s as a teenager I never knew of it. When I discovered it I thought it was an American money making import, which perhaps in its present style it is. But nonetheless having read this piece, at least we can see that in its iconography it rekindles aspects of the original content. It is fascinating to hear that it was banned during the Reformation and yet still existed in pockets in the UK. It seems that all ceremonies we have are simply additions to or bolted on to the most elemental and primeval myths and that most of those originated as markers and pauses between the seasons. It makes sense to celebrate the dead when the leaves are falling, and it makes sense that when a branch of Christianity banned that we were able to simply take November the fifth and still keep our bonfires. The additional ritual we are blessed with now is Remembrance Day which fits in with the same autumnal passage. I have also been reading Burke (“Reflections on the Revolution in France”) where he speaks of our lives and culture being a fusion of the dead, the living and the unborn. These ideas and this knowledge of where we fit in to the movement of life has never been more important given the cultural morass in which large numbers of intellectuals and intelligent people would prefer to tear the fabric of our world asunder and start, as it were from year zero: to start as though nothing had gone before and as though the dead had bequeathed us nothing and that we had nothing to bequeath those as yet unborn.

namelsss me
namelsss me
4 years ago

I was a little surprised at the alleged disappearance of All Souls’ commemoration having attended a sung requiem for the souls of the dead in our C of E church last night (All Souls’ Eve). We had of course celebrated All Saints in the morning.
I think it a pity, though, in these days of both foreign terrorism and disparagement of parliament by the current Ottoman-Mogul regime, that people no longer celebrate the foiling of the Gunpowder Treason.

Sarah H
Sarah H
4 years ago

Strangely ‘bonfire night’ on the 5th is missed here. Guy Fawkes was a later addition. It is all part of the same turn of the year pagan solar year grouping predating Christianity. I am sure that the communication with the departed is ancient too.

Martin Price
Martin Price
4 years ago

I would take issue with the statement that “Britain doesn’t today have the kinds of widespread customs which are still common in Catholic countries, such as visiting churchyards to bring flowers or light candles on the graves of loved ones. “

It may be true in England, but in non-conformist and now secular Wales, the day for honouring the Dead and visiting cemeteries with flowers is Palm Sunday. You will find cemeteries in Wales bright with daffodils, celebrating Spring and eternal life.

As one of a small Catholic community when I was growing up in West Wales, we marked All Saints and All Souls with candles and Masses for the Dead , but the flowers were for Palm Sunday with everybody else.

Karen Lindquist
Karen Lindquist
4 years ago

Thank you for this much needed essay on the importance of connecting with those who came before us and offering gratitude. I also feel this is a very important time of year to reflect and connect, and the pagan rituals mean a lot to me as we mark time and try to find meaning in our lives.
These ceremonies are truly beautiful and I’m committed to holding on and reviving them since our modern holidays mean very little to me, and in fact often seem like nothing more than opportunities to promote capitalism and controlling attitudes about politics and religion.

robert scheetz
robert scheetz
4 years ago

Thomas Jefferson considered one of his greatest achievement the defeat and removal of the entail from Virginia law. The Feast of All Hallows, as Ms Parker indicates, entailed obligations as well as devotion to ancestors. Contrary to modernism, it recognized the continuum of human being; that we are each obligated to pay their debts and to preserve and perpetuate their gifts. The rejection of that ‘entail’, it’s impossible to miss in these times, is become comprehensively catastrophic. A contemporary Dante would find Locke & Knox and their epigone, Jefferson & Hamilton, in the ninth circle.

Stephen Morris
Stephen Morris
4 years ago

Fascinating, thank you. Chimes with the shortened days and loss of foliage.

Michael Whittock
Michael Whittock
4 years ago

It’s good to encounter the Clerk of Oxford in a different setting.
Medieval people lived with death very close at hand. Loved ones generally died at home under the care of an extended family who were also involved in preparing the body for burial. Death was a constant companion and people feared it, held it in awe and learnt its lessons.
We are shielded from death. Today it is dealt with by doctor, hospital,hospice, the police and funeral director. It has been said that the Victorians were obsessed with death and refused to talk about sex. We however are obsessed with sex and refuse to talk about death. In fact we try to ignore it or minimise it. We surround it with sentimentality and presumptious beliefs and refuse to learn its lessons.
As a parish priest I took many funerals and witnessed a gradual sentimentalisation of death. Princess Diana’s funeral was a game changer in this regard. It accelerated the trend to want “personal” funerals with an emphasis on the loved one’s life which often ended up making them sound like saints. There was sometimes an attempt to downplay the reality and challenge of death and to marginalise God. Incredibly at Diana’s funeral He was mentioned 3times and Jesus once. The Resurrection was mentioned once and neither God the Father nor His Son were mentioned in the 3 hymns, nor in the Reading. The rest of the service was centred in Diana.
We have also surrounded death with presumptious beliefs which have no basis in the Christian Faith. Basically it is asserted that when everyone dies they will go straight to Heaven. There isn’t even the very questionable belief in a purgatorial interlude in which we are made fit to stand before the holy God.
Of course everyone has the right to believe what they want, but it is presumptious in the extreme to call it Christian unless it adheres to the body of Christian doctrine which has its roots in the Bible, our final authority.
Basically the Christian belief is that our eternal destiny depends on our response to Jesus Christ. Do we believe in Him or not? Do we have a relationship with Him through faith,prayer and worship believing that He died for our sins that we could have eternal life. This relationship is open to everyone. It’s a wonderful,transforming experience in this life and gives great assurance for the next. When death comes the Christian believer will go straight to be with Christ in spirit. When Jesus returns at the end of time all will be raised to life, believer and unbeliever. There will then be the Judgement at which the eternal destiny of each person will be settled. There is no second chance, no purgatory. This is the most important lesson death can teach us.
As far as our relationship with the dead are concerned I believe the Church of England has got it right. We should commend everyone to the love and mercy of God realising at the same time that there is no point in praying for them in any long term way because for them the die is cast. As a society we should learn once again to hold death in awe and not sentimentalise it. We should certainly hear what it is saying to us about our mortality and vulnerability, judgement, repentance and faith in Jesus Christ and the possibility of Eternal Life.