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July 20, 2023 - 2:30pm
Potential sex pests received a major setback this week with the unveiling of the latest round of posters in London Mayor Sadiq Khan’s #HaveAWord campaign, aimed at tackling “problematic behaviour” among men. The initiative has been running since March of last year, and in Khan’s own words is part of his determination to end an “epidemic of violence and misogyny that countless women face on a daily basis”.
Posters have already appeared in an effort to stamp out catcalling, inappropriate touching and staring. The campaign has now sought to harness the power of the “Mate, Mate” state, encouraging would-be friends of violent pyscho-sexual sociopaths to stop them in their path with a few choice words. “Say maate to a mate,” the poster (above) reads in block capitals. The “maaate” plea is also visually repurposed as a bulldozer, crushing sexist comments such as “She’s asking for it in that skirt,” and “Have you seen the new girl? I’d give her one.”
The “mate, mate” man is the modern British jobsworth. A man who came of age during the pandemic and flourished amidst a kaleidoscope of meaningless diktats and rules regarding how to “stay safe”. He is the sort of person of whom mandarins huddled in Government communications offices dream, possessing a hyper-conscious civic awareness that makes him unquestionably attuned to any instruction — from “See it. Say it. Sorted” to “Hands. Face. Space” — with authoritarian flair.
His deployment against the very serious problem of violence against women is something of an insult to both parties. As the campaign page rightly asserts, women are killed on average once every three days. But as anyone who has lived in Britain over the last decade knows, there is very little the “mate, mate” man and his ilk can do about this.
Firstly, the campaign curiously foregoes any understanding of the context in which women face the most serious instances of violence. For instance, 52% of women killed in the UK in 2020 died at the hands of a current or former partner, predominantly when in the process of separating. Of these murders, about three-quarters took place in the home.
Then there is the institutional failure to make women feel safe on the streets of London. While an average of 25 rapes a day are reported in the capital, nationally 40% of women who are attacked don’t report rape to the police, in the belief that they won’t receive help. Following the murder of Sarah Everard, as well as the prosecution of rapist officer David Carrick, half of women in London do not trust the Metropolitan Police.
Beyond the mass public awareness campaign, most of the serious crime against women which Khan intends to tackle is committed by a small minority of reoffenders. The Met Police recently acknowledged this, pledging to use a database of tens of thousands of reoffenders to target the 100 most dangerous men in London who prey on women and children.
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Subscribe“Awareness” campaigns are such tripe. Are there really any wife-beaters who are unaware that society frowns on them pummeling their spouses? Given that even the most belligerently egotistical violent misogynist takes some token steps to disguise his violence against women when confronted with it, I would suggest the answer is “no”. So these sorts of deeply condescending campaigns are both insulting and utterly useless, in that I doubt that even a single man who beats his wife will stop doing so because he saw a poster telling him it was wrong. And since like calls to like, I doubt his friends will suddenly find the impetus to object the next time he lumps his wife because they saw one of these posters on the Underground.
I do not think that is the aim. Rather the idea is to stamp out any sexually suggestive touch, look, action or comment by men, in part by creating group pressure, in part by making people worry about getting into trouble. Whether this will have any effect on violent husbands or partners seems doubtful, but it might make some men keep their mouth shut and their eyes firmly on the floor while in company.
This is all about enforcing the new social norms.
Behave a gentleman but the Left has been mocking manners since 1917 if not 1789.
But it does create a chilling environment for the rest of us.
Women are likely to become increasingly afraid of the perfectly safe men they pass every day, while men will feel the finger is being pointed at them as toxic and potentially dangerous (again).
Meanwhile on the manosphere the already fed up become more alienated.
Women are disturbed by the ‘don’t-you-dare-look-at-anyone’ signs on the Tube, even though they aren’t aimed at women, but men. We live in a country increasingly run by weird, gross neurotics.
Women are disturbed by the ‘don’t-you-dare-look-at-anyone’ signs on the Tube, even though they aren’t aimed at women, but men. We live in a country increasingly run by weird, gross neurotics.
Behave a gentleman but the Left has been mocking manners since 1917 if not 1789.
But it does create a chilling environment for the rest of us.
Women are likely to become increasingly afraid of the perfectly safe men they pass every day, while men will feel the finger is being pointed at them as toxic and potentially dangerous (again).
Meanwhile on the manosphere the already fed up become more alienated.
I’d be deeply concerned if Wayne Couzins was unaware of the illegality of r@pe and murder! What with home being a policeman and all.
I do not think that is the aim. Rather the idea is to stamp out any sexually suggestive touch, look, action or comment by men, in part by creating group pressure, in part by making people worry about getting into trouble. Whether this will have any effect on violent husbands or partners seems doubtful, but it might make some men keep their mouth shut and their eyes firmly on the floor while in company.
This is all about enforcing the new social norms.
I’d be deeply concerned if Wayne Couzins was unaware of the illegality of r@pe and murder! What with home being a policeman and all.
“Awareness” campaigns are such tripe. Are there really any wife-beaters who are unaware that society frowns on them pummeling their spouses? Given that even the most belligerently egotistical violent misogynist takes some token steps to disguise his violence against women when confronted with it, I would suggest the answer is “no”. So these sorts of deeply condescending campaigns are both insulting and utterly useless, in that I doubt that even a single man who beats his wife will stop doing so because he saw a poster telling him it was wrong. And since like calls to like, I doubt his friends will suddenly find the impetus to object the next time he lumps his wife because they saw one of these posters on the Underground.
In England and Wales for men (in 2022) the murer rate was 16.9 per million population, against that for females of 6.6 per million population. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/homicideinenglandandwales/march2022). All murders are obscene, why is the murder of men being made invisible?
Stop murdering your mates, maaate!
“Don’t murder your mate, murder a curry.”
“Don’t murder your mate, murder a curry.”
In a 2000 report, 98% of murders committed by men. So men are killing each other and women. I’d say it’s a problem for men to deal with…..
Imagine if you got the same stat for murders committed by Blacks, and then announced that Blacks are killing other Blacks and Whites (which they are disproportionately). Imagine how racist that would be. Then try to figure out how it would be different to what you just said. Over to you “Alison”.
Imagine if you got the same stat for murders committed by Blacks, and then announced that Blacks are killing other Blacks and Whites (which they are disproportionately). Imagine how racist that would be. Then try to figure out how it would be different to what you just said. Over to you “Alison”.
Stop murdering your mates, maaate!
In a 2000 report, 98% of murders committed by men. So men are killing each other and women. I’d say it’s a problem for men to deal with…..
In England and Wales for men (in 2022) the murer rate was 16.9 per million population, against that for females of 6.6 per million population. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/homicideinenglandandwales/march2022). All murders are obscene, why is the murder of men being made invisible?
The campaign is simply a bung to their mates in the advertising business. The old I’ll scratch your back you scratch mine routine. No one can seriously think a single woman will be saved from harassment or violence by this facile series of adverts. It is a substitute for real action. A signal that we care about women as they might vote for us. Never mind that men are killed at a greater rate than women.
The campaign is simply a bung to their mates in the advertising business. The old I’ll scratch your back you scratch mine routine. No one can seriously think a single woman will be saved from harassment or violence by this facile series of adverts. It is a substitute for real action. A signal that we care about women as they might vote for us. Never mind that men are killed at a greater rate than women.
I suggest that there is no such “epidemic of misogyny and male violence against women and girls”. I certainly haven’t seen any evidence to support this conjecture. There is an epidemic of people who are pushing this agenda though.
Indeed, the article says that the Met Police has a database to help them focus on the 100 most dangerous offenders. That’s not a “small minority”. In a city of 10 million people, it’s 1 in 100,000.
Meanwhile, nothing, absolutely nothing, is said about violence of women against men.
This is the worst sort of gesture politics. As expected from Sadiq Khan and TfL though.
Boo hoo all those poor blokes. Grow a pair ffs
May I suggest that you pay a visit to Everyone’s Invited https://www.everyonesinvited.uk/read
to get a flavour of what is going on. The reports are all dated.
Anecdotally my younger daughter and her friends have a catalogue of similar stories involving mainly boys from Dulwich College. These experiences date back almost 15 years. Interestingly, chatting to the 17 year old daughter of a pal of mine last week (who attends another south London private school) she indicated that in her experience, nothing much has altered.
Plus ca change.
As an addendum to all this there is an interesting book on the subject of domestic violence by Jane Monckton Smith – “In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder” explaining how catastrophes have small, almost invisible beginings, starting when the peer group rather than parents or family become the most important element in a young person’s life.
As for violence against men well the ONS has a reasonably up to date report on this (March 2022) :
“For the year ending March 2022, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that 1.7 million women and 699,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year. This is a prevalence rate of approximately 7 in 100 women and 3 in 100 men”
You might find Table 1 the most informative : ” Number of domestic homicide victims by type of relationship and sex, by sex of victim and suspect” Of the male murders during the defined time period 33 were carried out by women and 71 by men (65 by a male family member)
Thanks. I’ll try to catch up if I get some time.
I notice your reports all seem to be about domestic abuse and abuse related to relationships. It’s in this context that some of us are not convinced that a TfL advertising campaign which suggests this is a general male behavioural problem is the best way forward. If it’s a very specific and localised problem, go straight after that. Don’t try to make it something more general and end up not actually making it any better (which is where unfocused initiatives will get you).
Maybe part of the idea behind this campaign is to encourage male peer pressure. An effort to encourage the majority of non misogynistic males to call out their sadder “mates”.
This is a well proven technique for changing work place cultures. Probably the best example of this was in the airline industry – the pivot that occurred about 20 ? 30 ? years ago from “the captain’s word is law on this aeroplane” to “this is a collaborative, team enterprise. It is safer that way”
Not sure I see that. If this is a primarily domestic problem, it’s largely behind closed doors. Your mates aren’t likely to know.
Far more likely it’s just displacement activity by TfL/Sadiq Khan trying to talk about something other than the fact that they run the most overpriced metro transit system in Europe. And also one of the worst.
Not sure I see that. If this is a primarily domestic problem, it’s largely behind closed doors. Your mates aren’t likely to know.
Far more likely it’s just displacement activity by TfL/Sadiq Khan trying to talk about something other than the fact that they run the most overpriced metro transit system in Europe. And also one of the worst.
Maybe part of the idea behind this campaign is to encourage male peer pressure. An effort to encourage the majority of non misogynistic males to call out their sadder “mates”.
This is a well proven technique for changing work place cultures. Probably the best example of this was in the airline industry – the pivot that occurred about 20 ? 30 ? years ago from “the captain’s word is law on this aeroplane” to “this is a collaborative, team enterprise. It is safer that way”
Thanks. I’ll try to catch up if I get some time.
I notice your reports all seem to be about domestic abuse and abuse related to relationships. It’s in this context that some of us are not convinced that a TfL advertising campaign which suggests this is a general male behavioural problem is the best way forward. If it’s a very specific and localised problem, go straight after that. Don’t try to make it something more general and end up not actually making it any better (which is where unfocused initiatives will get you).
Boo hoo all those poor blokes. Grow a pair ffs
May I suggest that you pay a visit to Everyone’s Invited https://www.everyonesinvited.uk/read
to get a flavour of what is going on. The reports are all dated.
Anecdotally my younger daughter and her friends have a catalogue of similar stories involving mainly boys from Dulwich College. These experiences date back almost 15 years. Interestingly, chatting to the 17 year old daughter of a pal of mine last week (who attends another south London private school) she indicated that in her experience, nothing much has altered.
Plus ca change.
As an addendum to all this there is an interesting book on the subject of domestic violence by Jane Monckton Smith – “In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder” explaining how catastrophes have small, almost invisible beginings, starting when the peer group rather than parents or family become the most important element in a young person’s life.
As for violence against men well the ONS has a reasonably up to date report on this (March 2022) :
“For the year ending March 2022, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that 1.7 million women and 699,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year. This is a prevalence rate of approximately 7 in 100 women and 3 in 100 men”
You might find Table 1 the most informative : ” Number of domestic homicide victims by type of relationship and sex, by sex of victim and suspect” Of the male murders during the defined time period 33 were carried out by women and 71 by men (65 by a male family member)
I suggest that there is no such “epidemic of misogyny and male violence against women and girls”. I certainly haven’t seen any evidence to support this conjecture. There is an epidemic of people who are pushing this agenda though.
Indeed, the article says that the Met Police has a database to help them focus on the 100 most dangerous offenders. That’s not a “small minority”. In a city of 10 million people, it’s 1 in 100,000.
Meanwhile, nothing, absolutely nothing, is said about violence of women against men.
This is the worst sort of gesture politics. As expected from Sadiq Khan and TfL though.
Khan. What a useless, snivelling little virtue-signalling gït he is.
Khan. What a useless, snivelling little virtue-signalling gït he is.
I have a feeling this will backfire and “Maaate” will be used between a certain set of male friends when an attractive woman walks past in a completely opposite meaning to that of the ads. “Be a gentleman” would be a much better approach.
That’s exactly what will happen. Good observation!
That’s exactly what will happen. Good observation!
I have a feeling this will backfire and “Maaate” will be used between a certain set of male friends when an attractive woman walks past in a completely opposite meaning to that of the ads. “Be a gentleman” would be a much better approach.
It’s all so condescending, isn’t it?
It’s all so condescending, isn’t it?
A woman is killed every three days. Women are killed every three days could get kind of tiresome for them. Surely once would be enough.
“them” – jokes about women being murdred – just bantz innit mate
Well I laughed.
“them” – jokes about women being murdred – just bantz innit mate
Well I laughed.
A woman is killed every three days. Women are killed every three days could get kind of tiresome for them. Surely once would be enough.
The inevitable result of this campaign – if successful – will be a slew of articles in newspapers and magazines with titles like ‘I Miss Being Noticed On The Street – And That Is A Bad Thing To Admit’.
I don’t. Being harassed while waiting for a bus isn’t great, believe me, especially if there are very few people around. However, this campaign won’t change a thing anyway.
I don’t. Being harassed while waiting for a bus isn’t great, believe me, especially if there are very few people around. However, this campaign won’t change a thing anyway.
The inevitable result of this campaign – if successful – will be a slew of articles in newspapers and magazines with titles like ‘I Miss Being Noticed On The Street – And That Is A Bad Thing To Admit’.
Wouldn’t the funds from yet another “5 minute initiative” by our illustrious London mayor citizen khan be better spent on run away knife crime?
You know the hard stuff that doesn’t get you some superficial inches in the local London rag but actually does something?
The borough I live in is like a war zone.
Yet another kid knifed at our tube station by another kid. This is everyday stuff here.
Another bit of fluff from Khan.
Virtue signalling – Bread and circuses.
They can do both tbh. Although I don’t know why ‘knife crime’ is the phrase used. If someone holds a knife to my throat and demands my wallet, that’s a knife crime. What we’re talking about here is an epidemic of violence against, mostly, young men and boys. Murder should be called what it is.
They can do both tbh. Although I don’t know why ‘knife crime’ is the phrase used. If someone holds a knife to my throat and demands my wallet, that’s a knife crime. What we’re talking about here is an epidemic of violence against, mostly, young men and boys. Murder should be called what it is.
Wouldn’t the funds from yet another “5 minute initiative” by our illustrious London mayor citizen khan be better spent on run away knife crime?
You know the hard stuff that doesn’t get you some superficial inches in the local London rag but actually does something?
The borough I live in is like a war zone.
Yet another kid knifed at our tube station by another kid. This is everyday stuff here.
Another bit of fluff from Khan.
Virtue signalling – Bread and circuses.
More empty gestures from the mayor, a man who lies to stand with misogynists in skirts.
More empty gestures from the mayor, a man who lies to stand with misogynists in skirts.
I don’t believe that there is an “epidemic of misogyny”. And after one more, highly visible, patronising and rather insulting, “awareness campaign”, aimed against men, there still won’t be one. There’ll just be a few more men feeling rather sad that there is so much nasty, toxic discriminatory prejudice against them.
Of course the tiny minority of men who do behave in this distasteful way will revel in the campaign. And when they are in groups, they’ll probably enjoy using the slogans as a joke.
I don’t believe that there is an “epidemic of misogyny”. And after one more, highly visible, patronising and rather insulting, “awareness campaign”, aimed against men, there still won’t be one. There’ll just be a few more men feeling rather sad that there is so much nasty, toxic discriminatory prejudice against them.
Of course the tiny minority of men who do behave in this distasteful way will revel in the campaign. And when they are in groups, they’ll probably enjoy using the slogans as a joke.
This is a bit crude, but its hardly indicative of a endemic misogyny is it?
And if it’s said between men (rather than to the woman herself) it’s a hell of a lot milder than what now passes between women on men they find “f—-ckable”.
I would interpret it as indicative of an underlying contempt – girl as object.
Words that come out of your mouth matter because :
1.When you speak you engage a different part of your brain (over and above the bit that generates the original thought or image). In a more useful context it is used to assist embedding of a psychomotor skill in surgical training – the trainee tells the trainer what they are going to do before they do it. It is a very efficient way of cementing an action into memory. In this context new girl = f**k
2.Other people hear what you say.
It is not possible to regard someone without objectifying. Anyone who fancies another person must by definition treat them as an object. If it isn’t the crude language that’s the problem but the act of objectification itself, are we to surmise that simply to be sexually attracted on a physical level is immoral? Is base sexual attraction necessarily dehumanising or degrading to the object of the attraction?
It is not possible to regard someone without objectifying. Anyone who fancies another person must by definition treat them as an object. If it isn’t the crude language that’s the problem but the act of objectification itself, are we to surmise that simply to be sexually attracted on a physical level is immoral? Is base sexual attraction necessarily dehumanising or degrading to the object of the attraction?
And if it’s said between men (rather than to the woman herself) it’s a hell of a lot milder than what now passes between women on men they find “f—-ckable”.
I would interpret it as indicative of an underlying contempt – girl as object.
Words that come out of your mouth matter because :
1.When you speak you engage a different part of your brain (over and above the bit that generates the original thought or image). In a more useful context it is used to assist embedding of a psychomotor skill in surgical training – the trainee tells the trainer what they are going to do before they do it. It is a very efficient way of cementing an action into memory. In this context new girl = f**k
2.Other people hear what you say.
This is a bit crude, but its hardly indicative of a endemic misogyny is it?
No abusive man will be deterred by this.
If someone in your friendship group adopts this idea of going ‘maaaate’ when you note an attractive female, stop inviting him to the pub and don’t return his texts because he’s an annoying twerp. That’s why moronic ideas like this won’t achieve anything. Hectoring people who are not the perpetrators does not deter the perpetrators.
No abusive man will be deterred by this.
If someone in your friendship group adopts this idea of going ‘maaaate’ when you note an attractive female, stop inviting him to the pub and don’t return his texts because he’s an annoying twerp. That’s why moronic ideas like this won’t achieve anything. Hectoring people who are not the perpetrators does not deter the perpetrators.
mate mate
you can’t write articles like this, yeah?
you need to do better mate, innit
it’s about protecting women and girls mate
ta ra then, have a great day ok
Yeh, traffic backed up ‘ rahnd yer ‘yde park… ‘ave to go via Kilmarnock….
Yeh, traffic backed up ‘ rahnd yer ‘yde park… ‘ave to go via Kilmarnock….
mate mate
you can’t write articles like this, yeah?
you need to do better mate, innit
it’s about protecting women and girls mate
ta ra then, have a great day ok
I am profoundly grateful for this instruction, just as I was piecing together a belt of 7.62 mm rounds for my GPMG, about to go out and mow down a few hundred people at My local bus station, but instead will muse staying at home and watch the test match, as there is no racing on….
I am profoundly grateful for this instruction, just as I was piecing together a belt of 7.62 mm rounds for my GPMG, about to go out and mow down a few hundred people at My local bus station, but instead will muse staying at home and watch the test match, as there is no racing on….
could be some cheap flasher macs, cudgels and daggers on e bay then?
could be some cheap flasher macs, cudgels and daggers on e bay then?