There’s always one — the workplace comedian who sees it as his role to keep his colleagues on their toes whether they like it or not. In Conservative Campaign Headquarters, that person used to be Oliver Dowden.
I’m not referring to his tenure as Party Chairman. Rather, I mean his earlier stint at CCHQ when, from 2004 to 2007, he was a desk officer in the Conservative Research Department. I was also working there at the time and remember his constant stream of impromptu skits and impersonations. That’s not to say the younger Dowden was the office clown — or, even worse, a David Brent type. No, he was both well-regarded and riotously funny.
Years later he became an MP and then, in rapid succession, a minister, a cabinet minister and, finally, party chairman. He’s a natural fit for any rallying-the-troops role, but I didn’t see much evidence of his earlier comic genius. Or, at least, not until this morning.
His resignation letter is a masterpiece of bone dry, pitch black humour. At first sight, it appears he’s quitting because of the by-election disasters in Wakefield and Tiverton and Honiton. However, the wording is exquisite:
“We cannot carry on with business as usual. Somebody must take responsibility and I have concluded that, in these circumstances, it would not be right for me to remain in office.”
Who is this “somebody”? Is it the writer of the letter — or the person to whom it is addressed, i.e. the Prime Minister? The phrasing is ambiguous. Note also that Dowden says it would not be right for him to remain “in office” — in other words he’s not just quitting as Party Chairman, but as a member of Boris Johnson’s government.
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SubscribeIt’s a fabulous letter:
As in, the person who ought to take responsibility is too craven to do so, so I don’t want anything to do with that person any more.
It’s really easy to pen such poisonous letters – but you still look like a numpty for firing arrows inside the tent. Smartass numpties are the worst kind.
I wondered about the timing of the no confidence vote. I thought at the time that if they wanted to get rid of Boris they would be better waiting until after the By Elections. They knew they were coming and knew they would probably do badly. So why did they push through the no confidence vote when they did?
It has been suggested that some gnome in the pay of central office pushed for the confidence vote early in order to spike it. Now some other gnome is attempting to prevent the 22 from changing the rules – again, to save Johnson’s bacon. Astonishing that a party can be so craven as to stick with a proven dud. It just goes to show that the “conservatives” are simply “non-Labour” these days, like the worst sort of Macmillanite fop.
I think Boris has been completely exposed for the lightweight he fundamentally is – BUT – you always need to consider the alternatives. And I can’t see any that inspires me in the Tory Party let alone outside it.
as the old joke says, Boris is a crossword clue ” Four letters, female, ends in nt, but not aunt….
If anybody still knows what female means!
Do you do jokes with words about racial characteristics too, or is it just women you like to demean?
Who arranged for the vote of no confidence in Johnson to be held before these by-elections? Did any of the Tory MPs submit their letters into the 1922 committee out of support for Johnson?
BTW Michael Gove’s big idea currently is to use the benefit system to inflate house prices even further.
Interesting theory! With hindsight that looks to be why the vote was held pre-elections.
This morning Boris is telling us we should focus on the policies (whatever they are), not his character. But isn’t his personality what most of us voted him in for?
OK, like others, I voted to ‘get Brexit done’. Boris has done that, so perhaps he should have gone when we left the EU. He could have said “my job is done”, had a chance to rest from catching Covid 2 years ago, and got back to what he enjoys, writing books and newspaper columns!
‘Somebody must take responsibility and I have concluded that, in these circumstances, it would not be right for me to remain in office.’
In other words, ‘I am taking responsibility, because I, Oliver, have failed’. That’s all, folks, however much you’d like to read something else into it.
To a point, but he’s suggesting that he’s only resigning because someone higher up won’t!