The gladdest sight of a lacklustre May was Charles Dance emerging naked and magnificent, like Botticelli’s Venus, from the sea on Formentera. The UK press pixelated the actor’s genitals as if that justified the intrusion, but prurient types (me) still got to gawp at his regal House-Lannister physique. A devotee of the Hampstead men’s swimming pond, the 77-year-old actor is a splendid advertisement for both wild swimming and naturism.
We Brits don’t usually lead the globe in terms of unrobing. For dedicated, meticulously organised nudity, the world traditionally looked to Germany’s Freikorperkultur, or “free body culture”, to show the way. This ethos grew out of the mid-19th century Lebensreform movement, which challenged the destruction wrought by the Industrial Revolution. Between 1871 and 1918, half of all Germans left their place of birth and moved to a city, creating a deep nostalgia for the simpler, purer existence left behind.
And yet all is not well in Germany’s Garden of Eden. The German Association for Free Body Culture (DFK) has just cancelled their August centenary celebrations, due to a pronounced falling off in support — membership numbers have slumped from 65,000 to 34,000 over the past 25 years. The President of the DFK, Alfred Sigloch, believes that younger members are put off by older naturists adhering to strict rules “such as specified afternoon nap or quiet times”, while others are anxious about being photographed naked via a smartphone — especially now peeping Toms can use drones to get sneaky shots. Sigloch also blames social media for “the rise of the cult of the perfect body”, engendering anxiety about cellulite, tummies and other imperfections.
I find it depressing that old-style, let-it-all-hang-out nudists have been sent fleeing back to their patios by a plague of influencers using personal trainers, butt implants, absurd poses and photo-shopped images to show how “brave” they are going naked. To this middle-aged voyeur’s eye, the honed results aren’t nearly as pleasing as the bumpy, droopy chestnut-hued nudists of old.
My appreciation of such aesthetics has been honed as a member of one of the UK’s oldest naturist clubs: the Newnham Riverbank Club, on the edge of Cambridge’s Grantchester Meadows. It’s unique among such establishments for allowing costumed members to swim alongside nudists. This happened organically after the traditional membership of male academics (the land is owned by Cambridge University) fell into decline in the Eighties. In that era, the intrepid wife of one of the club’s groundsmen asked if she could pop down for an occasional dip in her bikini. Where she led others followed until numbers of both sexes were boosted, costumed and naked. I cherish the fnarr-fnarr greeting older, British members habitually utter when they meet outside the basking-bodied lawns: “Excuse me! I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.”
I’ve long said the Riverbank Club is the most democratic place in our rarefied university city, which has one of the largest gaps between the wealthiest and poorest residents in the whole country. When you are stark-bollock naked there’s nothing much to separate a biotech entrepreneur from a postman. Everyone is in equal raptures when they spot the brilliant flash of blue on a diving kingfisher or greet a new batch of cygnets. Like the German clubs, we have our rules, but they are sensible ones such as a prohibition from getting in and out of the Cam naked while punts are going past — although the tourists are invariably disappointed by this. We are also bonded by the primal urge to immerse every inch of our skin in wild water and have our soul cleansed sub-aqueously. Like Tom, the sooty chimney sweep in Charles Kingsley’s The Water Babies, we long to be clean (although this urge has been tempered of late by sewage pollution, as is the case in so many parts of the UK). And no wonder: we humans are 60% water and come into existence floating in amniotic fluid; so the urge to return can feel overwhelming and the requirement to wear a swimming costume nonsensical.
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SubscribeCalifornia has surrendered its streets to a**holes
Britain’s weirdest constituency
Inside the nudist renaissance
I’ll let you craft your own jokes from this constellation of headlines.
Don’t forget “What nationalists could learn from Quebec”;
“….. “
Inside the nudist renaissance, Britain’s weirdest constituency, California, has surrendered its streets to a**holes
What? You want California? Great. Come and get it!
“To this middle-aged voyeur’s eye, the honed results aren’t nearly as pleasing as the bumpy, droopy chestnut-hued nudists of old.”
I have never “got” the point of naturism. I know that it’s supposed to be somehow liberating or whatever, but whenever I see these photos of flabby older people letting it all hang out, all I can think of is that this is why we invented clothes.
In France it’s only the 68ards who still insist on sunbathing topless. It’s generally not a pretty sight. Younger women prefer the full bikini.
the human body at its best is a thing of beauty. Sadly it’s rarely at its best.
After 25 years of summering in the Sud-Ouest, and occasionally the Riviera, this is not the case, plenty of young women do this as well as the middle aged and old.
I have always had the impression it was more to do with Peter Sarstedt’s “even sun-tan” than communing with nature. Tan lines are so British.
A very dear work friend of many years ago made a profound and truthful statement about her middle-aged husband’s body: “That’s a body that should always be fully clothed!”
Not so sure about naturism, but good to see something from Rowan Pelling on Unherd.
Wild swimming has taken off quite remarkably in the last few years, though it’s more Dryrobes than nakedness, and I would like to believe it’s a return to a more grounded attitude to life. Less sure about the Gaia hocus pocus, which just sounds like cod religiosity channelled into consumerism.
The British seem to have a fascination with social nudity. We are both prurient and terrified about it. Personally I find that having spent time on French beaches sans maillot made me realise that swimming costumes are a dreary inconvenience and should be abandoned whenever possible. Moreover, costumes seem designed to humiliate larger or older women, who have much more dignity bare under the sun.
My experience of France is that it’s the old timers who are keener on stripping off. A bit of a hangover from the 60s.
I find it rather hard to believe that larger women are in any way humiliated by anything that covers them up. They look terrible in direct proportion to how much of themselves are exposed. Same for men too of course, but that’s an aside.
What a cheerful summer piece, thank you! I am not sure I can ever disassociate nudity from sex but perhaps full naturalist immersion would change that.
Do you want it to change? For me habitual nudity just takes away all the erotic power of undressing.
I can understand wanting to bathe nude in order to enjoy the feeling of water directly on the skin, but not the urge to hang around nude all day surrounded by other nude people.
I enjoy wearing flattering clothes that enhance my better features and express my particular personality, and seeing other people wearing clothes that do the same.
Love not wearing a ‘cossie’ when swimming and sunbathing; it feels so nice. I do it in private though!
Amniotic surely, not abiotic?
Nice article, but unfortunately, there will be members of both sexes who are more equal than the rest!
It’s so much fun to just be naked.
I know that it’s pedantically petty to point it out, but London’s Great Stink was in 1858, not 1852.
Fun article… Why though the constant haranguing by naturists to remove non threatening desire / sexuality from adult nudity. I mean why…
Put some clothes on, people!
I’m with you! Never met an adult that can’t be improved by well chosen clothes…even Brigit Bardot wore an alluring top and Marilyn Monroe was fabulous in tailored silk.As for men….for heaven’s sake, cover yourself.
Swimming naked is much nicer than swimming with clothes on. And you dont have damp cloth clinging to you when you come out. I have never understood the British fear of nudity.
Once you have swum naked in a warm sea you never want to wear a bathing costume. We have just come back from Greece. Quite why folk wear the latest minuscule bikinis is unclear. Why not be nude ?