It was the best of times, it was the worst of times: it was the time of breasts.
By now, you will surely have seen the video of actress Sydney Sweeney at the end of her Saturday Night Live hosting debut last month. She’s enthusiastically waving goodbye, her breasts barely contained by a dress that looks like it was designed to reveal as much of their surface area as possible, while also preventing them from floating away into space — which seems, in this case, a genuine risk. There was no reason why this moment should have been so remarkable, this being neither the first plunging neckline nor first set of boobs to grace the SNL stage, and yet, a consensus swiftly emerged that Sweeney’s physique was more than the sum of its perfectly spherical parts. Conservative writer Richard Hanania summed it up when he tweeted the video with a three-word caption: “Wokeness is dead.”
And here we are, weeks later, still deep in the double-D discourse. “Are Sydney Sweeney’s breasts double-D harbingers of the death of woke?” asked Canada’s National Post last month. “Why Is the Discourse Around Sydney Sweeney’s Breasts So Unhinged?” wondered Vogue a few weeks later; And, finally catching on, this weekend the Daily Mail published a deep dive into “Sydney Sweeney and her double-D breasts”, including the revelation that her father ran from the room to avoid seeing one of her many nude scenes in HBO’s Euphoria.
Virtually all commentary on the topic has come to the same conclusion: that for better or worse, Sweeney’s breasts are a locus for the power struggle between patriarchy and the feminists who want to smash it. Vogue‘s Kate Lloyd laments the history whereby “large breasts have been used as shorthand for sexual availability”, while the Post‘s Amy Hamm cheerfully suggests that noticing Sweeney’s rack is akin to an act of civil disobedience in a culture ruled by “diversity, equity, and inclusion fanatics” who would brainwash us into believing that every body (or boob) is equally beautiful. But the true driver of this breast obsession is, to me, at once deeper and more universal: if you want to understand the shape of a society, generally, the shape of the women most visible in it is a good place to start.
Women’s bodies have always existed in conversation with the zeitgeist — a living canvas onto which we project our hopes and fears, our fantasies and anxieties. Sometimes, the connection is straightforwardly reactionary; in the late 1890s, as society grew increasingly nervous about women’s liberation and greater freedom of movement, idealised femininity was embodied by the Gibson girl, a heavily corseted creature with a slender waist and vaguely sleepy expression. She existed in sharp contrast with the boogeyman of the suffragette, whose muscles had been thickened by wanton bicycling and who bore a permanent scowl. Sarah Baartman, a South African woman whose remarkably shapely rear earned her the moniker “the Hottentot Venus” and a starring role in a 19th-century London freak show, was an avatar for the culture’s growing fascination with far-flung places and peoples — and its assumption that the latter were a bunch of hypersexual savages.
More recently, a famous female body has been a harbinger of broader social change: 2014, the year the archetypal social justice warrior first found a tentative foothold in the cultural mainstream, was also the year the very white, very thin ideal of the previous decade was finally hip-checked out of the picture. The fully nude Kim Kardashian in Paper Magazine ushered in a golden age of butts that would endure for the next 10 years. To say that the rise of BLM was inexorably tied to the popularity of the BBL would be to misunderstand their relationship — these things are not causally linked; but the same culture gave us both, and their parallel trajectories are surely not a coincidence.
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SubscribeWhat a great pair.
She has them on display, and my biology demands I look at them. Anyone calling me a misogynist for looking is sexist. (- ‿ ◦)
Me too. Though Sidney Sweeney’s breasts are too big for me to admire much. At some point, big boobs look freakish. For me, double D is well past that point.
I agree that at a certain point breasts are too large to be attractive. I have seen Sidney’s fully exposed in a number of different bodies (sorry) of work she has done and hers are not that. They are perfect in my opinion.
It’s sexist not to look at them, no?
It’s both sexist to look at them and to not look at them.
Does that make them Schrödinger’s Boobs?
No, it just means you get smacked no matter what you do. Better to just leave the room.
I’ve only just caught this article. Great comment, Doug…made me chuckle!
Schroedinger’s porn.
I understand that human females are the only mammals whose breasts are permanently enlarged.
Now, I wonder why?
Some crackpot theory has it that it has to do with humans evolving to stand upright. Apparently, human males like the shape of female bottoms, and this is nature’s way of emulating that. Not sure I believe in this myself, but there could be a kernel of truth to it.
Trollops?
Possibly for the same reason human male balls are much smaller than other great apes. Chimps and Gorillas are a lot more promiscuous. There is a big evolutionary advantage to producing lots of swimmers and being able to reload quickly. With humans having much stronger pair bonds this is not as important. I speculate for female humans that enlarged breasts are a biological signal that the female is unavailable for reproduction. Move along fellow.
Well, I guess the most obvious comment –perhaps Kat didn’t say it because she felt she’d just be repeating others — is that these superb breasts and their unapologetically comely proud stance are completely the opposite of the crushed, emo, flattening-bra ethos of regime-compliant transgender girl fashion. So I suppose that’s where “end of wokeness” might be the meme label for them.
As an aside, Richard Hanania must be a bit incel with the “nah, she’s not *that* hot” comment — yeah right, that’s what guys not getting any say, to make it seem like they pick and choose. She’d eat him for breakfast.
Yeah, rich of him using the word ‘nasally’ to describe her voice, given his massively nasally voice. He obviously likes her, a lot.
Big tits are right-wing. Big nips are literally fascist. lol
At least I hope so.
Anyone that says “Sidney Sweeney is not hot” must be gay.
You mean ‘Free People’ Boho babes ?
One can like both figures ?
She could not dance ballet being so top heavy.
I’m encountering a lot of “End of Wokeness!” articles these days, and they’re all built on flimsy evidence. One woman’s willingness to show off her body does not mark the end, or beginning, of anything. So far as I can see, wokeness is alive and well in universities, government and the legacy media. It will take more than a nice pair of breasts to slay that dragon.
“Kardashian’s bared buttocks were the figurative bad moon rising.”
A genuinely good joke Kat!
It’s quite an education to look back at the terminally daft Carry On films and realise that Barbara Windsor was uncritically accepted as representing the pinnacle of male desire.
She was certainly the pinnacle of desire for our very own Sidney… James.
Phwoar
Ding; Dong
Oh come on. The Carry On films were a titillating joke, like seaside postcards. Marilyn Monroe was the ideal.
I had to skim quickly through the article (without taking too much on board) to the very last sentence to actually get an answer to the question that was the immediate response to the picture: “Are they real?”
You should have put that nugget in the first sentence; would have saved me a few precious seconds.
“Burying the lede”?
I do wish this change will quickly come to the game development studios. There it seems to be a policy to make the computer models much uglier than the voice actors or body actors cast in the role. Only in the case of women of course, so far male characters in games seem to be immune to this utterly negative attitude.
The deception and vitriol is reaching levels last seen with Gamergate in 2014. Fun if you like that sort of thing.
Used to be that nerdy pencil neck writers would give the regular guy hero a goddess for a girlfriend. Now, the female writers are giving fat little pudding girls their tall, handsome princes.
But everyone knows in real life the toads with the hot women got them by being super rich.
I forced myself to read right through all the feminist drivel, in order to convince myself that I didn’t just click on this article because of the boobs.
Haha I empathise with this
I have been waiting for a reaction to the excess of fantasy: for the elevation of the real. Sydney Sweeny’s breasts and the publication of the final Cass report are the start (I suspect). People do not value fake diamonds even if they cannot tell them apart from genuine diamonds and are generally extremely disappointed to discover a diamond believed to be genuine is man made. Fake breasts are so widespread now, they have lost the Baywatch novelty. The desire for something real is integral to human nature (as is the fear of facing up to reality). Facebook friends are not real friends. The lack of reality leaves many young people with nothing substantial, nothing solid, it’s not surprising so many feel mentally and emotionally unstable.
Bravo. I think you hit the nail on the head. Although some individuals, most notably the trans activists and the scientists who support them, seem to want to ignore or even transcend reality by denying the immutability of biology, the vast majority of us value what’s real. We desire something tangible, substantial, solid to keep us afloat in daily life. The real, because it is genuine, can also have aspirational value–and no, I don’t just mean money. Wishing for a happy family, a spouse and children, is just as tangible, and I personally derive much more satisfaction from my husband’s company and my daughter’s successes than I do from a financial bonus.
The reason woke will end is that all discrimination based on race, sexual and gender ideology fades into complete insignificance next to the discrimination based on physical attractiveness that we all practice every waking (and sleeping?) minute of our lives. There’s no antidote to pretty privilege.
What about battery acid?
Homer traveled the Greek countryside, regaling villagers with stories of Sydney Sweeney and her boobies that launched a thousand ships.
That America still yearns for a Marilyn M, doesn’t make their Left or Right any less decadent. But this year there is no presidential candidate young enough to capture the eye of this new Disney princess (see Britney). And that is an even worse condemnation of mainstream America’s loss of cultural virility.
My mate Paul has been saying for many months that the salvation of the comic movie industry is a Sydney Sweeney Power Girl movie. It would really bring an outstanding character credibly to the big screen, and I can guarantee no critics of the trend to pushing these movies all to female leads will object.
Those who know what I’m talking about will wholeheartedly agree. Those who don’t, do your research but probably not if your wife is peering over your screen.
Well, I learn something new every time I come to UnHerd…
You come to UnHeard? What sort of fetish is that?
The person who is most concerned about the incredible hotness of Sydney Sweeney and her tasteful tatas is the last Big Bo0bie Babe, Paige Spiranac. I certainly am guilty of an uplifted feeling when I saw pix of Paige. But she is yesterday’s tits. She’s past her LFD, and probably is thinking about that.
Sydney is 25. She has maybe 3 years to go when she is peachy perfect. Hot youngness is ever new. Every “it” girl has about 3 years. Kate Upton is a mom today, reserving her bounty for her hubs.
I will enjoy seeing Sydney for the moment, hopefully with as little interference as possible. I read that she is considering the lead in a “Barbarella” remake – that would be good by me.
Thank you for bringing them to my attention.
Surely the most woke word of the lot is boobs. I’ll wager that the vast majority of red-blooded straight males (or at least the ones born with dicks) would refer to her assets as tits, bangers, knockers, breasts, melons or a whole host of other words in between but rarely if ever as ‘boobs’.
Does UnHerd really need an Insufferable Drivel column? I mean they might, but …. Couldn’t we maybe do without it?
It certainly benefits from a bit of levity. And so would you.
“And in the uncanny valley of the current culture, yes, Sydney Sweeney’s breasts are spectacular. But they are also, more importantly, real.”
And like all things, they will eventually sag.
Party pooper.
Yes I probably sound like the judge who asked “who are the Beatles?” but…who is Sydney Sweeney?
Thanks for a journey through the male psyche, guys. Quite a few chuckles to start my day.
Kimberly
“Who or what is Sydney Sweeney?”
An Australian spin-off of a 70s British cop show?
Yeah, from the neck down, she is highly attractive. But incels or not, I would agree butterface. If you stuck Margot Robbie’s head on this woman’s body, she’d probably be considered one of the most attractive female stars of all time. As it is Sydney Sweeney (who also has a horrible name) has this weird dead-eyed expression which makes her look like she isn’t with it.
I do remember a group of male friends telling me they particularly liked girls like this as short term prospects because they felt the girl was hot and likely up for it, but also accessible, because she wasn’t super hot.
But, really, she’s just in the news for the same reason multiple other woman of pretty face and/or hot body who seem to wear little to nothing in public and on screen are in the news. Men like to look at visually appealing women. Next year, or sooner, it will be someone else.
I’m not so sure Sydney Sweeney won’t be in the spotlight for a few more years. She seems to have staying power. She already has a rather impressive body of work, both in acting and producing. She’s also very smart.
That said, I think you’re right that she’s at her peak and will not be rising any higher.
Woman with large natural boobs is attractive to men. Did I summarise this piece correctly? Could the several thousand other extraneous words be deleted please so that no-one else wastes five minutes of their life reading them.
That would be so helpful. Then you could return, in a great hurry, to the serious business of spending hours reading about the Thousand Harbingers of Impending Doom, before hastening to the comments section to dissect those speculations with other architects of despondent realism.
You are missing the point of the whole playful escapism of the piece. Let us have some fun lol!!
I’m not sure about this idea that Sydney Sweeney is not incredibly attractive. She clearly is, and that is a large part of her success. I have been to the American Midwest and there are not a million Sydneys swanning around. There are in fact very few people as attractive as Ms. Sweeney currently alive anywhere in the world. Hence, Sydney is a star.
I agree, she has that overall appeal and allure! For me she’s not as pretty as Margot or Gal, but she is hotter……She is also a really good actress that bears all on screen, both physically and emotionally. She appears to be comfortable with showing different sides. Doesn’t wear too much make up either it seems. She is a breath of fresh air in a polluted world!
Would anyone know of Sydney Sweeney if not for her breasts? Would she have a career without them? I don’t blame someone for cashing in on whatever assets they are gifted, but the people who turn boobs into various social statements merit some mockery.
Have we now reached peak woke? Or even twin peaks?
This is indeed the breast of times: pillowy; mesmerizing; offered up to sooth man and baby alike.
I love that Rosenfield lets herself have a little fun, in such a skillful way. And passes along some of that fun to an (un)herd that has grown increasingly cranky and dyspeptic.
Give us your milk, O generous author! Permit me to say that her husband is a lucky man.
I recognize that my words are both crass and “problematic”. Breast I can do y’all.
No husband (yet). Fiancé.
So you’re sayin there’s a chance? #DumbandDumber
I guess things like this really matter when the mob rules.
I got dizzy half way thru reading the article. Sometimes a pair of boobs is just a pair of boobs.
Agreed
Silly article.
Thank you for an amusing and enlightening article; I enjoyed all the puns and I learnt stuff about the role of breasts in the culture wars that had hitherto slipped under my radar. If Sweeney’s breasts really do augur the end of woke, I would like to give them a hand.
She looks a bit doped up to me
Pretty girl though
The article is not really about how lovely Sydney’s boobs are or how hot she is. It’s the fact that, as Kat puts it, she is real……an analogue delight in a digital world and unapologetically sexy and appealing. We are allowed to admire without being called sexist or bigots (she is white) or even pervy!! She represents the pendulum swinging back slightly to simpler times when men and women could admire beauty and voluptuity! (Probably not the neo feminists though)….
I don’t understand why boobs are not sexual in primitive cultures. How and why did they become such a thing in Western civilization? Did the Catholic church make them forbidden and therefore desirable?
They’re lovely, but surely nowhere near actual double-d. Everything gets inflated in the press.
She will want a reduction as she reaches her 60’s. Too much fat to carry along, women with large tits get back aches.
To quote Sigmund Freud, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
Not in Bill Clinton hands.
Amen!
The uncanny valley of our current culture. Perfect.