June 6, 2023 - 7:00am
Holly Willoughby wants to know, “Are you okay?” Not about the cost of living crisis, or the massive counterattack in Ukraine, or the pressure on mortgages. No, Holly wants to know if you are feeling “shaken, troubled, let down” by “someone who you gave your love and support”, and if you feel a “desire to heal” and “process”. She is, of course, talking about Philip Schofield’s resignation after he admitted to having an “unwise but not illegal” affair with a younger colleague.
Her address on Monday morning was a sermon of schmaltzy spin-doctor sorcery. Dressed in an angelic white dress with glacial poise, Willoughby delivered empty, predictable platitudes with the infantalising tone of a children’s TV presenter having to explain a devastating natural disaster. I’m surprised she didn’t ask everyone if they would like to hug it out. The BBC described her as “emotional”, when in reality she vacantly read from an autocued PR-perfect script like a modern Nurse Ratched: cold, clinical, and regurgitating pseudoscientific psychobabble.
The fact that Holly addressed the audience as if they were PTSD survivors — rather than viewers motivated by morbid curiosity, schadenfreude, and a voyeuristic desire to see a celebrity crash and burn — shows how common therapy-speak has become. You don’t need to spend long on Twitter or TikTok to find discussions about setting boundaries, healing your inner child, codependent relationships, different attachment styles, and being “triggered”. For every make-up tutorial there is now a video asking if you are an ‘empath’; for every cooking demonstration there is a clip of someone listing the “red flags” of “toxic” relationships. On Monday, walking home from working at a school, I even heard someone say, “Their behaviour… it’s giving bipolar disorder.”
Applying the endemic language of trauma isn’t self-care: it’s selfish. It pathologises quite ordinary behaviours or experiences: for example, not all disagreement is gaslighting, and not all conflict is abuse. It can make it difficult to discern what is mainstream and what is medical. How can I explain to my students that feeling sad, or worried, or angry can be perfectly normal, when everyone online is telling them that their sadness is depression, their worry is anxiety, and their anger is hysteria? The obvious rebuttal is that therapy-speak has always infiltrated everyday language eventually — think Freud’s death wish, slip of the tongue, denial or repression — but the scale and speed with which mental health terminology has defined our current zeitgeist is unprecedented.
The other problem with decontextualising clinical terminology is that it does the opposite of what therapy actually intends to do. It shuts down honest discussions; it implies moral superiority; it can be used to excuse self-serving behaviours (for example, I’m going to be a bad friend because I need to “hold my space”); and, most dangerously, it can feed into these absolutist narratives in which everyone is either a hero or a villain, a victim or a sociopathic narcissist.
Take Prince Harry, for example, who has often spoken about his “generational pain”, and focusing on “awareness”, “compassion”, “lived experience” and “listening to his body” so that he can “break the cycle”. Harry said: “to me it’s always so fascinating to hear about someone’s struggles and then being able to trace it back to not what’s wrong with you, but what happened to you?”
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SubscribeIt’s not just Holly. The entire British state does this. Every time I go back to England I’m always amazed and disheartened by the amount of scolding and proselytizing I see on TV and big billboards. It’s quite pervasive, but I wonder if the general public is either affected by it or just ignores it. A lot of it is overly sentimental and maudlin in a way that is peculiar to Britain.
Yep. It seems as if, ever since the “wrong” vote was made by so many (obviously uninformed) people, we have been bombarded with infantilising messages. Turbo-charged by the pandemic response (where to stand, which way to walk, how to wash your hands, how to sneeze safely, etc), the public is given no credit for being able to think, rationalise and respond. We are treated, as the author says, “as a passive vessel, a lump of clay moulded and shaped by everything that has happened to you”. Personally, I like to think I have a little more conscious control over my life.
Consider yourself fortunate that you apparently don’t have the BBC on your doorstep. Non-stop WokeWashing, anti-Brexit propaganda and decolonising agenda inserted into every possible subject area.
Yep. It seems as if, ever since the “wrong” vote was made by so many (obviously uninformed) people, we have been bombarded with infantilising messages. Turbo-charged by the pandemic response (where to stand, which way to walk, how to wash your hands, how to sneeze safely, etc), the public is given no credit for being able to think, rationalise and respond. We are treated, as the author says, “as a passive vessel, a lump of clay moulded and shaped by everything that has happened to you”. Personally, I like to think I have a little more conscious control over my life.
Consider yourself fortunate that you apparently don’t have the BBC on your doorstep. Non-stop WokeWashing, anti-Brexit propaganda and decolonising agenda inserted into every possible subject area.
It’s not just Holly. The entire British state does this. Every time I go back to England I’m always amazed and disheartened by the amount of scolding and proselytizing I see on TV and big billboards. It’s quite pervasive, but I wonder if the general public is either affected by it or just ignores it. A lot of it is overly sentimental and maudlin in a way that is peculiar to Britain.
I’ve actually had PTSD, having suddenly been left trapped and surrounded, out of the blue, by wreckage and dead people – I was the only one left alive.
It does put this sort of rubbish into its correct perspective (which is trivial and self-indulgent). But it can be slightly irritating to read. It also inclines me towards a somewhat acerbic response to these pathetic milquetoasts, I’m afraid.
I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you and hope you are now fully recovered.
milquetoasts
Never heard of it and have looked it up. When we were sick as kids we got a thing called Goody – warm milk with torn up pieces of white bread and sugar. Yummy!
I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you and hope you are now fully recovered.
milquetoasts
Never heard of it and have looked it up. When we were sick as kids we got a thing called Goody – warm milk with torn up pieces of white bread and sugar. Yummy!
I’ve actually had PTSD, having suddenly been left trapped and surrounded, out of the blue, by wreckage and dead people – I was the only one left alive.
It does put this sort of rubbish into its correct perspective (which is trivial and self-indulgent). But it can be slightly irritating to read. It also inclines me towards a somewhat acerbic response to these pathetic milquetoasts, I’m afraid.
She’s not trying to be your – or anyone else’s – therapist. She is pretending to care about stuff that nobody in their right mind would really bother about. And she’s doing that because the general public seem to like that sort of thing, and will therefore increase her company’s viewing figures. She acts as if she is hurt because viewers prefer emotion more than dispassionate analysis. She’s there because women want to see a woman of a certain age who brushes up nice, and men can develop a mild sexual fantasy around her. From what I can see of it (and that’s all from BBC and other outlets reporting from the sidelines) it’s nothing more than a big soap-opera story.
She’s not trying to be your – or anyone else’s – therapist. She is pretending to care about stuff that nobody in their right mind would really bother about. And she’s doing that because the general public seem to like that sort of thing, and will therefore increase her company’s viewing figures. She acts as if she is hurt because viewers prefer emotion more than dispassionate analysis. She’s there because women want to see a woman of a certain age who brushes up nice, and men can develop a mild sexual fantasy around her. From what I can see of it (and that’s all from BBC and other outlets reporting from the sidelines) it’s nothing more than a big soap-opera story.
I cannot read about this story. Headlines and questions and discussions for weeks. Can the UK please move on.
I know what you mean – the gut reaction is “frankly, who cares ?”.
But the article is really quite good. And hopefully enough to conclude reporting on this sideshow. But we all know it won’t be. Talking endlessly about stuff like this is so much easier than actually solving real problems. We might start talking about “displacement activity” – but then we’d be going full-on amateur therapy speak and lining ourselves up to replace Schofield on the sofa.
Exactly. In Shakespearean terms, “Much ado about Nothing”.
I know what you mean – the gut reaction is “frankly, who cares ?”.
But the article is really quite good. And hopefully enough to conclude reporting on this sideshow. But we all know it won’t be. Talking endlessly about stuff like this is so much easier than actually solving real problems. We might start talking about “displacement activity” – but then we’d be going full-on amateur therapy speak and lining ourselves up to replace Schofield on the sofa.
Exactly. In Shakespearean terms, “Much ado about Nothing”.
I cannot read about this story. Headlines and questions and discussions for weeks. Can the UK please move on.
Rather than “Why is Holly Willoughby trying to be my therapist?”, may I suggest the more pertinent question of “Why are you all still talking about Holly Willoughby?”
Watching this whole drama from the outside has been nothing short of bizarre. For days, this non-issue has been all over the news. As if there’s nothing else going on – like a war, inflation, a housing crisis, a collapsed health service…I’m guessing that the reporting is not a reflection of how the majority of people feel (I’m guessing most are as uninterested as I am), but it is very odd to watch.
(And, before you ask, I will not be needing counselling for PTSD due to this. I just would like news that contains actual NEWS.)
It’s another reveal of how we got into such ridiculous hysterics over covid. What everyone needs is a universal “ignore this story” button that simply removes it from your view permanently,
Think of the quiet you’d have enjoyed from 2020 not hearing about a certain low-threat, flu-adjacent bug that was knocking off a few olds; the joy of not hearing about the troubles of countries you can’t even identify on a map.
After a week you’d open a newspaper and see absolutely nothing on the page, which would end up saving you a few bob in subscriptions…
An “ignore this story” button would be great. I’d also love an “Accept/reject all cookies, FOREVER” button. Those banners annoy me so badly.
reject all non-essential cookies forever and get rid of the banners
for Chrome: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ninja-cookie/jifeafcpcjjgnlcnkffmeegehmnmkefl
for Firefox: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ninja-cookie/
You’re welcome.
Do these features also mean you have to log in every time to sites like Unherd?
I don’t.
I don’t.
Or use Brave browser which is, so I hear, the most secure and privacy focused browser.
https://brave.com/
Can it block all articles on Schofield and Willoughby?
They are actually working on something like that. Figuring out ‘is this an article on Schofield’ rather than something that just mentions the name Schofield (and possibly is about a completely different person, or the resting metabolic rate of human beings (the Schofield equation) or a brand of revolver) is something that could be done in the same way that spam has been detected. But I don’t know anything that is accomplishing this now.
They are actually working on something like that. Figuring out ‘is this an article on Schofield’ rather than something that just mentions the name Schofield (and possibly is about a completely different person, or the resting metabolic rate of human beings (the Schofield equation) or a brand of revolver) is something that could be done in the same way that spam has been detected. But I don’t know anything that is accomplishing this now.
But doesn’t deal with this automatically, (at least it didn’t last time I looked which was more than a year ago) unless you installed an addon. Brave works with most chrome addons, so the cookie-ninja addon should work — but I have not tested this.
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/search/cookie%20ninja
Can it block all articles on Schofield and Willoughby?
But doesn’t deal with this automatically, (at least it didn’t last time I looked which was more than a year ago) unless you installed an addon. Brave works with most chrome addons, so the cookie-ninja addon should work — but I have not tested this.
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/search/cookie%20ninja
Do these features also mean you have to log in every time to sites like Unherd?
Or use Brave browser which is, so I hear, the most secure and privacy focused browser.
https://brave.com/
reject all non-essential cookies forever and get rid of the banners
for Chrome: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ninja-cookie/jifeafcpcjjgnlcnkffmeegehmnmkefl
for Firefox: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ninja-cookie/
You’re welcome.
Knocking off a few olds?
You are not a nice person.
An “ignore this story” button would be great. I’d also love an “Accept/reject all cookies, FOREVER” button. Those banners annoy me so badly.
Knocking off a few olds?
You are not a nice person.
It’s another reveal of how we got into such ridiculous hysterics over covid. What everyone needs is a universal “ignore this story” button that simply removes it from your view permanently,
Think of the quiet you’d have enjoyed from 2020 not hearing about a certain low-threat, flu-adjacent bug that was knocking off a few olds; the joy of not hearing about the troubles of countries you can’t even identify on a map.
After a week you’d open a newspaper and see absolutely nothing on the page, which would end up saving you a few bob in subscriptions…
Rather than “Why is Holly Willoughby trying to be my therapist?”, may I suggest the more pertinent question of “Why are you all still talking about Holly Willoughby?”
Watching this whole drama from the outside has been nothing short of bizarre. For days, this non-issue has been all over the news. As if there’s nothing else going on – like a war, inflation, a housing crisis, a collapsed health service…I’m guessing that the reporting is not a reflection of how the majority of people feel (I’m guessing most are as uninterested as I am), but it is very odd to watch.
(And, before you ask, I will not be needing counselling for PTSD due to this. I just would like news that contains actual NEWS.)
Theodore Dalrymple has been writing along similar lines for years: “I am not responsible for my actions and so cannot be held accountable for them”. It has become a popular line of defence as it works.
“the knife went in”
“the knife went in”
Theodore Dalrymple has been writing along similar lines for years: “I am not responsible for my actions and so cannot be held accountable for them”. It has become a popular line of defence as it works.
What is actually the issue anyway? PS had apparently an affair with a consenting adult. Haven’t we got past that?
Actually a number of things, including the fact that the consenting adult was promoted within an organisation in which Philip Schofield had enormous power and influence which suggests at least the possibility of nepotism (and who would possibly have suspected that about the media ?). I’m fairly sure that an organisation of ITV’s size and ethical standards (at least the ones they claim to have) had guidelines and employment rules which were not followed.
A lot of the – entirely justified – schadenfreude here is due to the fact that these media organisations have been preaching to us for years about how we should be behaving and why we’ve all been doing it wrong all our lives. It’s the hypocrisy and double standards.
So it runs much wider than Schofield’s relationships.
Note also how all participants are currently claiming to be “victims”.
TBH I heard Phillip Schofield being interviewed last weekend and he sounded pretty devastated by the whole thing.
I am aware of workplace relationships elsewhere between staff members of very different seniority levels which have gone more or less unremarked.
TBH I heard Phillip Schofield being interviewed last weekend and he sounded pretty devastated by the whole thing.
I am aware of workplace relationships elsewhere between staff members of very different seniority levels which have gone more or less unremarked.
He had an affair with a ‘consenting adult’ if you believe that the fiftysomething Schofield did actually wait until the 18th birthday of the boy he’d known since he was 14/15, and got him his job at ITV. Arguably he was in a ‘trusted position’ over him.
Mainly, though, I think it’s to do with the brother being convicted of paedophilia, and then the long-kept secret about Schofield’s affair coming to light and prompting the settling of scores and vendettas.
Actually a number of things, including the fact that the consenting adult was promoted within an organisation in which Philip Schofield had enormous power and influence which suggests at least the possibility of nepotism (and who would possibly have suspected that about the media ?). I’m fairly sure that an organisation of ITV’s size and ethical standards (at least the ones they claim to have) had guidelines and employment rules which were not followed.
A lot of the – entirely justified – schadenfreude here is due to the fact that these media organisations have been preaching to us for years about how we should be behaving and why we’ve all been doing it wrong all our lives. It’s the hypocrisy and double standards.
So it runs much wider than Schofield’s relationships.
Note also how all participants are currently claiming to be “victims”.
He had an affair with a ‘consenting adult’ if you believe that the fiftysomething Schofield did actually wait until the 18th birthday of the boy he’d known since he was 14/15, and got him his job at ITV. Arguably he was in a ‘trusted position’ over him.
Mainly, though, I think it’s to do with the brother being convicted of paedophilia, and then the long-kept secret about Schofield’s affair coming to light and prompting the settling of scores and vendettas.
What is actually the issue anyway? PS had apparently an affair with a consenting adult. Haven’t we got past that?
Her and the other creature now binned , po faced, tedious, patronising, dull, central casting heome ceounties woke middle class from some Waitrose in Surrey: God help nu britn hew kay if this is what the ” ooh look at my new Tesla” social meountaineers aspire to being… They all need a night out in working man’s pub in The North to really put them in their place…
Her and the other creature now binned , po faced, tedious, patronising, dull, central casting heome ceounties woke middle class from some Waitrose in Surrey: God help nu britn hew kay if this is what the ” ooh look at my new Tesla” social meountaineers aspire to being… They all need a night out in working man’s pub in The North to really put them in their place…
Is that it then? Is that the storm in a tv tea cup done? Can we now return to things that really matter. Climate Ukraine. American China relationship. Energy resources. Housing. The NHS. Immigration. Inflation. education. unwoking woke etc PLEASE?
Is that it then? Is that the storm in a tv tea cup done? Can we now return to things that really matter. Climate Ukraine. American China relationship. Energy resources. Housing. The NHS. Immigration. Inflation. education. unwoking woke etc PLEASE?
But still we read, and then we comment.
But still we read, and then we comment.
I never watched This Morning, had only the vaguest idea what it was (I thought the ;presenters were married to each other, but I was thinking of another programme), and am, like some of the other commentators, utterly baffled by the amount of attention paid to these totally insignificant and uninteresting people. But do note it’s Phillip Schofield, not Philip!
I never watched This Morning, had only the vaguest idea what it was (I thought the ;presenters were married to each other, but I was thinking of another programme), and am, like some of the other commentators, utterly baffled by the amount of attention paid to these totally insignificant and uninteresting people. But do note it’s Phillip Schofield, not Philip!
Thanks Kristina.
Words of sanity.
I’m reasonably intelligent but I still don’t understand why the PS story has been ramped up so much.’ Man has affair at work’. OK. I suspect if he wasn’t gay it would be viewed rather differently, and this appalls me.
I don’t watch daytime TV and never will after this.
Ukrainians are suffering, migrants in boats and stranded in hell are suffering, Iranians and Afghans are suffering………a long list: just a start.
And HW sits there in white, prissy and self-obsessed, as if this is a major traumatising event. It really isn’t.
Thanks Kristina.
Words of sanity.
I’m reasonably intelligent but I still don’t understand why the PS story has been ramped up so much.’ Man has affair at work’. OK. I suspect if he wasn’t gay it would be viewed rather differently, and this appalls me.
I don’t watch daytime TV and never will after this.
Ukrainians are suffering, migrants in boats and stranded in hell are suffering, Iranians and Afghans are suffering………a long list: just a start.
And HW sits there in white, prissy and self-obsessed, as if this is a major traumatising event. It really isn’t.
Excellent!
Excellent!