"I will never, ever turn my back on women” Credit: buckangel/Instagram
“I used to be a woman, and I really am a feminist.” With his full beard, bald head and inked, muscular forearms, Buck Angel cuts a striking figure. The trans porn star is an unlikely feminist ally. We shouldn’t really get on.
I’ve been campaigning to end the porn industry all my adult life, while Buck has made his living in the porn industry. I don’t accept “transsexuality” as a diagnosis, while Buck is a walking, talking advertisement for it. But he has taken a liking to me, and the feeling is mutual.
The founder of Buck Angel Entertainment, winner of an array of porn awards, and the first transgender man to feature in an all-male porn film, Buck now uses his fame and platform to advocate for sexual freedom. He also speaks out against both the misogyny directed at women who dare critique trans ideology and the use of puberty blockers on children. Like me, he has been labelled a transphobe. And like me, people are constantly trying to silence him.
As you might expect, Buck, now 60, has lived an turbulent life: drug addict, porn star, prostitute. He marvels that he has made it this far. His childhood, though, was a “happy, really normal middle-class” one in LA. He was fortunate to have “incredible” parents who were completely accepting of his “ultra-masculine identity” as he was growing up. He looked like a boy, he dressed like a boy, he played tough and was always in fights. “My parents and pretty much all my family and friends called me the boy name, the name I felt close to. Not the girl name,” he remembers. “In the Seventies, a girl who wore boy clothes was really no big deal.”
But it was a big deal to be a lesbian. And things weren’t so easy at high school, where he presented as a very masculine woman who found refuge in sports. He knew “things just weren’t aligned for me and I just didn’t fit in. I knew I was attracted to women, but it was the Seventies, and we didn’t talk about that”. A straight-F student who liked to sleep in class, Buck focused on running, where he excelled — and would even beat the boys. He won sponsorship from Adidas and Nike, and there was even talk of training for the Olympics. “But in my private life I was struggling because I didn’t know how to be attracted to girls without being called a lesbian. And our coach said that if any of us ever became lesbians, he would never coach us again… We would do secret things [at] hotels. But… it was always like, don’t say anything because we’ll lose our sponsor”.
He was bullied and ostracised and struggled to deal with his sexuality and identity. The homophobia in the sports world was crushing, so he turned to drink and drugs. “This was 32 years ago, before [easy access to] the internet,” he says. Googling “sex change” wasn’t an option. “I just knew I felt like a man”, but he was unable to do anything about it.
But why not just live happily as a butch lesbian? “I wished I could,” he replies. To this day, I still think, “could I have done that?” In fact, I think of it more today than I ever have with all the new stuff that’s happening and the way they’re pushing kids to transition. But something inside of me said: ‘I have to be a man.’”
It was after he was spotted by a modelling agency that things started going massively downhill: it was an industry in which he was forced to be incredibly feminine, and was judged for what he looked like. He fell into prostitution, and the drug-taking spiralled. Hitting rock bottom, he had to finally admit he could not live as a woman and started to look around for someone who might be able to help him.
In 1990, Buck did find a willing therapist, and two years later took his first dose of testosterone. He was one of the earliest trans men to be prescribed hormonal treatment. He was, as his therapist said, a “guinea pig”. The technology wasn’t around for him to undergo genital surgery, however, so while he had his breasts removed, he chose to retain his vagina. “Back in the day they called transsexual porn “chicks with dicks”. I was like, oh dude, I can be a man with a pussy. I wanted to change attitudes, to show people what difference really was, and how we should celebrate and not hide from it.”
“I am proud that I have reclaimed the words ‘vagina’ and ‘pussy’ for transgender men’s use,” says Buck. “And I’m so grateful I don’t have the bottom surgery. I celebrate my vagina and I don’t feel any less male.”
But if he’s anti-misogyny, as he insists, how does he justify the fact that he made his name and a living from a business that commodifies and demeans females? This is an industry that causes direct harm to vulnerable women, as well as giving boys and men permission to act upon rape fantasies.
There is value in celebrating “diverse sexual experience”, he tells me. Though he does admit there can be “some sick, nasty stuff that happens and anyone who denies that it happens in our industry is not doing us a service”. Buck no longer makes porn, so perhaps it is easy for him to dodge responsibility, but I’m not exactly satisfied with his half-defence of his industry. Can a feminist really be a porn performer and defender given the harms it causes, which worsen by the day with the help of social media? “I will always admit there’s a very deep, dark side to porn,” he says.
He was often treated badly by mainstream pornographers, but says he pushed through until “I started to be on some level celebrated and people started writing to me, not only trans men: thank you for doing this”. And it was a message that could have resonance beyond the porn industry.
The trouble is, Buck is outspoken and unorthodox and many in the transgender community don’t like that. And he was hated for not having full surgery. He and I both acknowledge how things have changed when it comes to trans activism. The “trans men are men”, “trans women are women” mantras have led to a total denial in some quarters that there is any physical difference involved.
“Back in the day, we never denied our biology,” says Buck. “But I believe our community was hijacked by powerful, wealthy trans women. They have a lot of influence, and I think they’re envious of women. I know this will cause anger and hurt feelings, but I am not here to protect feelings or to hide the truth.” He’s right. In the US and the UK, it is the activists with the most clout, with the money and power, whose voices get elevated. Buck is wary of modern-day trans rights activists. “They’re making us look like fools. It’s disgusting. A lot of it is misogyny — writing out women.”
Then, in 2021, Buck was a signatory to a public statement “Trans Men Fight Back” outlining concerns that “autogynephilic trans women” were “controlling the narrative” on trans issues and had taken a “troubling turn”. The authors pointed to the framing of counselling for gender dysphoric children as “conversion therapy”. They also protested the “erasure of women’s spaces, and women’s language”.
The response was swift and brutal, and Buck was singled out for attack. The open letter in response to his statement was signed by 280 trans activists who cited “transmisogyny, transmedicalism, and mockery of nonbinary identities”. The trans community was urged to target him by “not selling his merchandise, not inviting him to speak at their conferences or on their podcasts, not collaborating with him on videos or essays, until such a time as he has made a full, public apology acknowledging the harm he has caused to trans people by repeatedly spreading false scientific claims”.
Shunned and maligned by the very community he helped to build, Buck struggled to cope. “It hurts,” says Buck, obviously still upset. “I have done a lot of work for the trans community for many years, as I did when I was in the lesbian community. It’s always been very dear to my heart. So, it hurts when a bunch of young people who probably aren’t even trans rake me over the coals.”
His business selling sex toys and clothing merchandise suffered, as did his advocacy, and the hostility took its toll. “But then I was like: ‘OK, you want to play that game with me?’ And it lit a fire under my ass. On some level that made me want to be here today with you, to try and build bridges. I knew [trans activists] were hijacking and appropriating our community.
“I’ve been a homeless crack addict, but today I got a roof over my head. I got a beautiful partner and a kid. I am not fearful of any of those people because they’re not part of this community. I will not capitulate.”
This is true. While he is deeply sympathetic with all trans people, he will not be deterred from supporting and engaging with those young people who are detransitioning even though this means he is constantly being labelled “anti-trans”. The attacks only stiffen his resolve. In particular, he is hated within a certain section of the community for, unusually, being against puberty blockers for children: “I believe it is dangerous,” he says. Buck didn’t take HRT until his late 20s. In return he’s been accused of causing serious harm to “trans kids” for being dead set against medical intervention for kids.
“Gender dysphoria is a mental disorder,” he explains to me. “It’s in your brain, not in your body. I don’t want these kids to transition unless they really, really need to do it.”
“Those kids who regretted transitioning got hurt because of our stupid community, and so I’m going to take responsibility for them,” he continues. “I am a part of the trans community, and I feel it is my duty to support them. Affirming a child’s trans identity without questioning it is ultimately harmful,” says Buck. “They need therapy way before they even think about going down this road.”
As far as Buck is concerned, there is a new movement inside a community he once felt such a part of. “An evil force is taking over a space that has saved lives for a very long time. I use this term evil force because it feels as though something has consumed the ability for a healthy dialogue among a diversity of voices, which make up our community.”
He agrees with me that the modern-day trans movement is motivated by misogyny. “It is so disturbing to see from my vantage point. The bully behaviour is to force women to shut up if they do not confirm that ‘a trans woman is a woman’. The actual physical violence at women’s events by TRAs has nothing to do with trans rights and everything to do with hate towards women.” As he sees it: “If they don’t want to be called men, they should stop acting like men. Since when do women act like insane weirdos punching women in the face?”
I like Buck, and appreciate both his frankness, and his support against the bullying and misogyny of extreme trans activism. But we are worlds apart when it comes to pornography and his firm belief in the notion of being “trapped in the wrong body”. Nevertheless, it is crying shame that someone as interesting as Buck Angel, and with so much of value to add to the debate has been cancelled by his own community.
He is, though, keener than ever to speak out against violent trans activists who target women for defending our rights.
“I live happily as a man,” Buck tells me as we say goodbye, “but I will never, ever turn my back on women.”
Julie Bindel is an investigative journalist, author, and feminist campaigner. Her latest book is Feminism for Women: The Real Route to Liberation. She also writes on Substack.
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SubscribeWoah, too weird. I searched Google Images for the photos. The effect of that level of Testosterone supplementation on a female body is staggering. How anyone (especially medics) can advocate this for young women and girls is incomprehensible.
I’m glad for him that he at least didn’t resort to genital mutilation; I’m guessing he will suffer fewer health complications as a result. And his objection to transitioning children should be applauded, not denounced.
But… as JB says, why could he not just have remained a butch lesbian? They will be a vanishing minority in the very near future. And God help trans men who have regrets; there’s no going back physically.
I think maybe the porn stuff is directly connected to the huge doses of T, and a type of over compensation. I would be interested to know where he is on the autism spectrum?
A huge percentage of girls (and boys) wanting to transition have ASDs. I think this is also likely to be true of adults, and this partly explains why they can be so black and white about the issue.
As with Caitlin Jenner and Debbie Hayton, we should be grateful for any transsexual who speaks up for women’s rights in the current climate.
You are right about the porn industry. Technologically savvy children have unbridled access to the most degrading kind of sexual material out there. It’s amazes me that Western governments are so loathe to tackle this problem.
Bread and circuses.
Bread and circuses.
Communist East German woman athletes were notorious for testosterone abuse during the Olympic Games, back in the 60’s & 70’s, particularly in events such as the ‘shot put’.
Had the games been performed naked (gymnos), as they originally were, this would NOT have happened.
However as it was, they “got away with it” thus depriving many ‘honest’ (Western) competitors of their rightful medals.
Sharron Davies being a prime example. Why she is so vocal on the issue. She should rightly be Sharron Davies, Olympic Gold Medalist.
Sharron Davies being a prime example. Why she is so vocal on the issue. She should rightly be Sharron Davies, Olympic Gold Medalist.
I googled Buck’s name and found some photos from decades ago: Buck wa beautiful which makes the effects of testosterone so striking. Like you I do wonder whether Buck would have been content to live as a butch lesbian if that had been accepted at the time. Ironically, being a butch lesbian seems to be as unacceptable now as then. Any sign of stereotypical male interests and young women and girls are labelled ‘trans’.
Very true – society is labeling ‘butch girls’ and ‘camp boys’ as trans. Must be easier to explain away the ‘traits’ too – if you’re told you act like the opposite sex, and now you can be..then you must be!
I think the older bunch do relate, but the biological facts remain and so does the dangerous Trans ideology that still distorts reality and harms the rights of women, children and lgb.
Thanks for sharing Buck with us JB, he’s not bad I suppose!x
Buck’s is a mainly ex Household Cavalry club….
Otherwise known, amongst other things as “The Piccadilly Cowboys”.
Otherwise known, amongst other things as “The Piccadilly Cowboys”.
Come on its like the Furies and Van Dykes never existed. The queer scene is as old as humanity itself. People didn’t suddenly go gay when the Russians lost the cold war and their useful idiot fellow travellers fled into the “eco”, queer and anti-racism movements.
It’s so backwards from the gender equality I grew up with. The archaic gender-roles were going away and most people were free to do what they wanted regardless of their sex. I was a tomboy growing up and I remember my male cousin playing dolls with my sister and I and nobody thought we were transgender.
I felt this way when the transgender stuff started brewing almost a decade ago and my intuition was right, TRAs are backwards, and the entire ideology is regressive.
What interests me is how the adopted trans gender is always very extreme – it always seems to be the extreme macho male beard and muscles and tats or the extreme feminine with the dresses and the long blond hair and the make up and the heels, like a caricature of what most men and women are actually like in real life. It’s redolent of learnt behaviour.
Exactly my own observations, Jeff.
Mine too.
Mine too.
Caricature is exactly the right word for what many transgender’s aspire to.
Exactly my own observations, Jeff.
Caricature is exactly the right word for what many transgender’s aspire to.
What interests me is how the adopted trans gender is always very extreme – it always seems to be the extreme macho male beard and muscles and tats or the extreme feminine with the dresses and the long blond hair and the make up and the heels, like a caricature of what most men and women are actually like in real life. It’s redolent of learnt behaviour.
Very true – society is labeling ‘butch girls’ and ‘camp boys’ as trans. Must be easier to explain away the ‘traits’ too – if you’re told you act like the opposite sex, and now you can be..then you must be!
I think the older bunch do relate, but the biological facts remain and so does the dangerous Trans ideology that still distorts reality and harms the rights of women, children and lgb.
Thanks for sharing Buck with us JB, he’s not bad I suppose!x
Buck’s is a mainly ex Household Cavalry club….
Come on its like the Furies and Van Dykes never existed. The queer scene is as old as humanity itself. People didn’t suddenly go gay when the Russians lost the cold war and their useful idiot fellow travellers fled into the “eco”, queer and anti-racism movements.
It’s so backwards from the gender equality I grew up with. The archaic gender-roles were going away and most people were free to do what they wanted regardless of their sex. I was a tomboy growing up and I remember my male cousin playing dolls with my sister and I and nobody thought we were transgender.
I felt this way when the transgender stuff started brewing almost a decade ago and my intuition was right, TRAs are backwards, and the entire ideology is regressive.
Was a big thing in the lesbian scene 90s + 00s – women taking treatments to bulk up muscles and grow facial hair…adopting almost 1%er biker fashion including body art etc. Not such a big thing now from what i can tell. You can tell how big it was though as “Queer-core” was a music genre close to that scene in both UK and USA.
Over 30 years ago, Johns Hopkins University Hospital in the USA shut down its transgender surgery section when it concluded that removing body parts did not ‘cure’ transgenders; It’s a mental illness that requires therapy. How comes we’re back to the Middle ages hacking off body parts?
Progress?
Progress?
I appreciate Buck’s life, history and situation are…. Challenging and agree with most of your comment BUT Buck, even looking so male, is still a ‘she’.
She is certainly not a stereotypical woman but she is still, and always will be, XX and so a ‘she’.
I know. I’m being polite, which I agree is part of the problem. But it is also true that women who take Testosterone make more convincing ‘men’ than men taking Oestrogen make ‘women’?
I know. I’m being polite, which I agree is part of the problem. But it is also true that women who take Testosterone make more convincing ‘men’ than men taking Oestrogen make ‘women’?
It was born with a vagina. It is female. Any other interpretation needs to be destroyed.
You are right about the porn industry. Technologically savvy children have unbridled access to the most degrading kind of sexual material out there. It’s amazes me that Western governments are so loathe to tackle this problem.
Communist East German woman athletes were notorious for testosterone abuse during the Olympic Games, back in the 60’s & 70’s, particularly in events such as the ‘shot put’.
Had the games been performed naked (gymnos), as they originally were, this would NOT have happened.
However as it was, they “got away with it” thus depriving many ‘honest’ (Western) competitors of their rightful medals.
I googled Buck’s name and found some photos from decades ago: Buck wa beautiful which makes the effects of testosterone so striking. Like you I do wonder whether Buck would have been content to live as a butch lesbian if that had been accepted at the time. Ironically, being a butch lesbian seems to be as unacceptable now as then. Any sign of stereotypical male interests and young women and girls are labelled ‘trans’.
Was a big thing in the lesbian scene 90s + 00s – women taking treatments to bulk up muscles and grow facial hair…adopting almost 1%er biker fashion including body art etc. Not such a big thing now from what i can tell. You can tell how big it was though as “Queer-core” was a music genre close to that scene in both UK and USA.
Over 30 years ago, Johns Hopkins University Hospital in the USA shut down its transgender surgery section when it concluded that removing body parts did not ‘cure’ transgenders; It’s a mental illness that requires therapy. How comes we’re back to the Middle ages hacking off body parts?
I appreciate Buck’s life, history and situation are…. Challenging and agree with most of your comment BUT Buck, even looking so male, is still a ‘she’.
She is certainly not a stereotypical woman but she is still, and always will be, XX and so a ‘she’.
It was born with a vagina. It is female. Any other interpretation needs to be destroyed.
Woah, too weird. I searched Google Images for the photos. The effect of that level of Testosterone supplementation on a female body is staggering. How anyone (especially medics) can advocate this for young women and girls is incomprehensible.
I’m glad for him that he at least didn’t resort to genital mutilation; I’m guessing he will suffer fewer health complications as a result. And his objection to transitioning children should be applauded, not denounced.
But… as JB says, why could he not just have remained a butch lesbian? They will be a vanishing minority in the very near future. And God help trans men who have regrets; there’s no going back physically.
I think maybe the porn stuff is directly connected to the huge doses of T, and a type of over compensation. I would be interested to know where he is on the autism spectrum?
A huge percentage of girls (and boys) wanting to transition have ASDs. I think this is also likely to be true of adults, and this partly explains why they can be so black and white about the issue.
As with Caitlin Jenner and Debbie Hayton, we should be grateful for any transsexual who speaks up for women’s rights in the current climate.
What a terribly depressing article – the utter incoherence is so thought-provoking. “I celebrate my vagina and I don’t feel any less male” is a string of words which has no discernible meaning in the English language, but which we as a society are working feverishly to give meaning to, simply because the mentally ill are so pitiable.
A similar level of intellectual double-speak and emotional self-deception is present all throughout this person’s comments. Pornography is “celebrating diverse sexual experience” but “there’s a very deep, dark side to porn.” This is akin to saying, ‘hey, heroin has its positives, you know.’
Just as now we look back with incredulity on the many discarded ideological movements of the past which hid their essential corrosive natures behind pleasant slogans, so too someday my descendants will look back on the sexual madness we are living through and wonder how millions could have been so gullible. There will be generational reckoning and survivor’s guilt and all the rest, as we wonder how societies so apparently functional as ours, could tell lies to itself and believe them so thoroughly… killing babies is just another choice… euthanasia of the sick is for their good not ours… children don’t need mothers two dads are just fine… commodifying our sexuality has no effect on our souls, etc. Utter insanity.
I tell my children we, like Augustine, are witnessing the brink of a new Dark Age. A sad time for society, but I take solace in the knowledge that a remnant always survives.
Well said. I suspect your seeming disapproval of killing babies (wrong-think) will call down mob fire on you …
Amen!
If you’d just broken your leg i expect you’d see the positive side of heroin or its near-derivatives. True Augustine the African saw the gender fluidity and sodomy of 4th century Rome as the beginning of the end. It certainly put off those Praetorian guards brought from North/Central European colonies to serve the Empire. However we may read it now, Rome’s failure was baked in to its structures whilst events – many random like livestock borne diseases, were changing. Took 600 + year but eventually fell over. I wonder what their successors – Huns, Goths, Franks, Hvars etc made of the trans brigade? (other than target practice of course)
There are many, many heroin addicts who live and work among us and we will never know it is their driug of choice. Just as there are many users of very strong prescription medication who behave like street junkies. So not a great comparison.
As JB says, Buck didn’t have an easy life outside his home. Outwardly he is a he, internally he is a she, but without the information you received in the article, you would never have guessed that he is a she.
There are transsexuals out there who pass as what they are presenting as but who are well aware they are not actually that person. It’s the ones who insist that transwomen are women and transmen are men who are the dangerous people, as they insist they are right and have the right to be in their chosen spaces even when they are not welcome.
If I may simplify your essay above — that is one messed-up chick, and the brainless sheep who are applauding her messed-up-ness are messed up too.
It’s moral relativism gone mad
Well said. I suspect your seeming disapproval of killing babies (wrong-think) will call down mob fire on you …
Amen!
If you’d just broken your leg i expect you’d see the positive side of heroin or its near-derivatives. True Augustine the African saw the gender fluidity and sodomy of 4th century Rome as the beginning of the end. It certainly put off those Praetorian guards brought from North/Central European colonies to serve the Empire. However we may read it now, Rome’s failure was baked in to its structures whilst events – many random like livestock borne diseases, were changing. Took 600 + year but eventually fell over. I wonder what their successors – Huns, Goths, Franks, Hvars etc made of the trans brigade? (other than target practice of course)
There are many, many heroin addicts who live and work among us and we will never know it is their driug of choice. Just as there are many users of very strong prescription medication who behave like street junkies. So not a great comparison.
As JB says, Buck didn’t have an easy life outside his home. Outwardly he is a he, internally he is a she, but without the information you received in the article, you would never have guessed that he is a she.
There are transsexuals out there who pass as what they are presenting as but who are well aware they are not actually that person. It’s the ones who insist that transwomen are women and transmen are men who are the dangerous people, as they insist they are right and have the right to be in their chosen spaces even when they are not welcome.
If I may simplify your essay above — that is one messed-up chick, and the brainless sheep who are applauding her messed-up-ness are messed up too.
It’s moral relativism gone mad
What a terribly depressing article – the utter incoherence is so thought-provoking. “I celebrate my vagina and I don’t feel any less male” is a string of words which has no discernible meaning in the English language, but which we as a society are working feverishly to give meaning to, simply because the mentally ill are so pitiable.
A similar level of intellectual double-speak and emotional self-deception is present all throughout this person’s comments. Pornography is “celebrating diverse sexual experience” but “there’s a very deep, dark side to porn.” This is akin to saying, ‘hey, heroin has its positives, you know.’
Just as now we look back with incredulity on the many discarded ideological movements of the past which hid their essential corrosive natures behind pleasant slogans, so too someday my descendants will look back on the sexual madness we are living through and wonder how millions could have been so gullible. There will be generational reckoning and survivor’s guilt and all the rest, as we wonder how societies so apparently functional as ours, could tell lies to itself and believe them so thoroughly… killing babies is just another choice… euthanasia of the sick is for their good not ours… children don’t need mothers two dads are just fine… commodifying our sexuality has no effect on our souls, etc. Utter insanity.
I tell my children we, like Augustine, are witnessing the brink of a new Dark Age. A sad time for society, but I take solace in the knowledge that a remnant always survives.
Really moving piece. Thank you. Reminds me of “Middlesex”, the novel by Jeffery Eugenides, which was my first introduction to issues faced by intersex people. Intersex people and people with gender dysmorphia need compassion and to be treated as individuals, not have their issues appropriated by a cult with obvious nefarious objectives. It is the weaponisation of language that opens the flood gates for children to be harmed. We have to defend correct language by using it at all times. The sterilisation and genital multinational of children is barbaric and must be outlawed by every civilised society. Misogynists are not women. We “identify as” when we are acting roles on a stage… in real life we “are”, and maintaining the difference is critical for psychological health.
I found that book in a cheap hotel in Ethiopia over 10 years ago. Wish I’d kept it to lend to people but it was very heavy!!
I found that book in a cheap hotel in Ethiopia over 10 years ago. Wish I’d kept it to lend to people but it was very heavy!!
Really moving piece. Thank you. Reminds me of “Middlesex”, the novel by Jeffery Eugenides, which was my first introduction to issues faced by intersex people. Intersex people and people with gender dysmorphia need compassion and to be treated as individuals, not have their issues appropriated by a cult with obvious nefarious objectives. It is the weaponisation of language that opens the flood gates for children to be harmed. We have to defend correct language by using it at all times. The sterilisation and genital multinational of children is barbaric and must be outlawed by every civilised society. Misogynists are not women. We “identify as” when we are acting roles on a stage… in real life we “are”, and maintaining the difference is critical for psychological health.
Sounds like a young lesbian girl in an oppressive culture, plagued by drug use and mental problems, who finally found a “way out” as one of the first victims of transgenderism, which they parlayed into a “career” as part of the great modern sexual freak show.
I feel for them, but putting their life forwards as an example of a “good trans man” (unlike the “bad trans men” the author usually belittles) is ridiculous.
Sounds like a young lesbian girl in an oppressive culture, plagued by drug use and mental problems, who finally found a “way out” as one of the first victims of transgenderism, which they parlayed into a “career” as part of the great modern sexual freak show.
I feel for them, but putting their life forwards as an example of a “good trans man” (unlike the “bad trans men” the author usually belittles) is ridiculous.
Very interesting piece. However, I feel that there was a missed opportunity to discuss Buck Angel’s role in the rather mad Wachowski Brothers transition saga in the 2000s covered by Rolling Stone and then mysteriously suppressed, as well as the world of AGP, identity and fetishism in Los Angeles.
If anyone wants to read that article it is preserved by Graham Linehan.
https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/from-the-memory-hole-rolling-stones
Thanks for the link. A parallel universe/Matrix of weirdness.
Thanks for the link. A parallel universe/Matrix of weirdness.
Very interesting piece. However, I feel that there was a missed opportunity to discuss Buck Angel’s role in the rather mad Wachowski Brothers transition saga in the 2000s covered by Rolling Stone and then mysteriously suppressed, as well as the world of AGP, identity and fetishism in Los Angeles.
If anyone wants to read that article it is preserved by Graham Linehan.
https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/from-the-memory-hole-rolling-stones
Really interesting and thought provoking. Thank you Julie, and Buck.
Really interesting and thought provoking. Thank you Julie, and Buck.
“So, it hurts when a bunch of young people who probably aren’t even trans rake me over the coals.”
This. Not even trans. Another agenda.
Yes, it’s the “true trans” mindset she’s pushing which imo remains delusional and harmful.
Yes, it’s the “true trans” mindset she’s pushing which imo remains delusional and harmful.
“So, it hurts when a bunch of young people who probably aren’t even trans rake me over the coals.”
This. Not even trans. Another agenda.
TBH i dont think many of the “trans” activists/haters are actually, well trans – as with white folks like Markle, Antifa and the BLMers these trouble causers are literally that. Their motivation is their hard left idealogy that justifies their hating folk for their sexual choices or their skin tone which is not a choice. One indication of this is their inchoate jabbering and violence against those weaker than them, a traditional leftist trait. Another more serious one is this: If you are gay or gender dysphoric, or a druggie, or very fat or very poor you will suffer for it. You will know what its like to be marginalised and even hated for who you are. Therefore real querr, gender dysphoric or other non mainstream lifestyle folks are way more likely to feel compassion for the marginalised underdog. Not something you associate with the rich white men that make up 99% of the trans lobby.
That’s an interesting point about people who are truly marginalised being eclipsed by the TRA lobby. Perhaps this is why they push the intersectional stuff so hard. They hide behind it. If you don’t agree with their ideology suddenly you are a racist, you hate disabled people, you’re against the poor etc. It’s rather disheartening they way they seem to colonise various categories of victimhood
That’s an interesting point about people who are truly marginalised being eclipsed by the TRA lobby. Perhaps this is why they push the intersectional stuff so hard. They hide behind it. If you don’t agree with their ideology suddenly you are a racist, you hate disabled people, you’re against the poor etc. It’s rather disheartening they way they seem to colonise various categories of victimhood
TBH i dont think many of the “trans” activists/haters are actually, well trans – as with white folks like Markle, Antifa and the BLMers these trouble causers are literally that. Their motivation is their hard left idealogy that justifies their hating folk for their sexual choices or their skin tone which is not a choice. One indication of this is their inchoate jabbering and violence against those weaker than them, a traditional leftist trait. Another more serious one is this: If you are gay or gender dysphoric, or a druggie, or very fat or very poor you will suffer for it. You will know what its like to be marginalised and even hated for who you are. Therefore real querr, gender dysphoric or other non mainstream lifestyle folks are way more likely to feel compassion for the marginalised underdog. Not something you associate with the rich white men that make up 99% of the trans lobby.
Can someone who is better at research than I am please provide proof of some of these incredible claims that tend to pop up in Buck’s writings about her past? She was a talented runner “sponsored by Adidas and Nike” and there was “even talk of training for the Olympics?” I want to see some receipts of these claims. Talk about the Olympics by whom and in what context? When was this? in high school? That indeed would have been a very big deal at the time. What was her experience with title IX in the 70’s? What events did Buck run? What were her times? How much were the sponsorships for?
Buck makes a similarly bold claim that she used to be an internationally successful model at elite agencies, but the only evidence I have ever found is that she modeled internationally. No idea for how long she modeled, how much she earned, was she a big deal in the scene?
Can someone please verify any of these claims?
“Was forced”
“Fell into”
“The drug taking spiraled”
“Hitting rock bottom, he had to finally admit he could not live as a woman” A lot of passing the buck here. Why the constant passive voice? She chose to model. She chose to try to seize control and ownership of her body via prostitution, which is a self-harm behavior. She chose to handle her mental illness with drugs- admitting the choice of one’s coping mechanisms is key to acknowledging our agency in both doing and stopping them. “I celebrate my vagina and I don’t feel any less male.” Oh, is atrophying your vagina with testosterone and then pretending to be a man in sexual encounters “celebrating” it? You’re not male.
And when is anyone going to bring up the fact that Buck made a whole career off of proselytizing transition to school kids? I find the fact that no one asks her this when they’re literally videos of her preaching to children on YouTube as a trans activist speaker so bizarre.
She seems a nice person and very charming and charismatic, but I witnessed a struggling detransitioner call her a woman on a livestream on YouTube and watched the entire facade of mental well health she projects crumble instantly. It’s was honestly shocking and changed the way I see her forever. I had always thought, “oh THIS person has a largely successful transition and is thriving” and that perception instantly evaporated as a watched her entire sense of self and self worth crumble at the hands of this immature young person. It’s the reason I now refer to her with correct-sex pronouns, bc buying into the fantasy by calling her he/him seems like enabling that fragility now.
“So, it hurts when a bunch of young people who probably aren’t even trans rake me over the coals.” She’s so immature. So no one gets to question her reasons for gender transition, but she can question theirs? The trans community treated her the exact way she treated the detransitioner who questioned her self-delusion of herself as a man. She bleats about “autogynephilic trans women” being misogynists who hijack women’s language and deny biology, but yet she talks about how hot it would be to be able to ejaculate and f**k with a p***s (I’ve witnessed this on her YouTube and it really turned me off- clearly being a man is heavily sexual to her) and sells sex toys, lube and “man-p***y” t-shirts, and has a tantrum when anyone points out being female means being a woman. You can’t have it both ways, which she sort of dances around at the end of this article. A complicated person. Screams autism to me, when I see adult women so unaware of their own clearly sexual motivations.
“I live happily as a man,”
In what way? She has no male body parts. She doesn’t have sex with male parts. She doesn’t go to the doctor to get her prostate checked. She doesn’t pee standing up. She doesn’t carry an old lady in a motor scooter down a flight of stairs bc the escalator is out. So in what way does she “live as a man.”
“but I will never, ever turn my back on women.”
But see there’s the issue. The only way she “lives as a man” is that since she mostly LOOKS like a man, people TREAT HER AS IF she were a man, and since she IS NOT male, in any material sense, she merely lives the SOCIAL expectations and behaviors we reserve for men that don’t impact the body: so gender stereotypes about behavior, personality, interests, etc. So she is literally living a gender role. How can she not see that’s in direct conflict with feminism and gay activism? I think she does see it but struggles to square it with her sense of self.
And she never had the final cut which she says was not available then. But it was. Ambivalence?
I asked the autism question too. I think ASDs are almost always a factor in transgenderism. These individuals feel they are not like other men or women; they don’t ‘fit in’, or ‘get’ the social cues/norms; they think ‘I’m different’ and (in the present climate) go down a rabbit hole online. They are radicalised by trans activists who present them with ‘the solution’. Because of their autism, they tend to obsess and focus narrowly, pursuing an idea doggedly and are often unable to see the big picture.
It’s particularly tragic for female to male transitioners if/when they decide ‘the solution’ was no such thing. The effects of Testosterone on the female body are permanent (and usually ugly).
And she never had the final cut which she says was not available then. But it was. Ambivalence?
I asked the autism question too. I think ASDs are almost always a factor in transgenderism. These individuals feel they are not like other men or women; they don’t ‘fit in’, or ‘get’ the social cues/norms; they think ‘I’m different’ and (in the present climate) go down a rabbit hole online. They are radicalised by trans activists who present them with ‘the solution’. Because of their autism, they tend to obsess and focus narrowly, pursuing an idea doggedly and are often unable to see the big picture.
It’s particularly tragic for female to male transitioners if/when they decide ‘the solution’ was no such thing. The effects of Testosterone on the female body are permanent (and usually ugly).
Can someone who is better at research than I am please provide proof of some of these incredible claims that tend to pop up in Buck’s writings about her past? She was a talented runner “sponsored by Adidas and Nike” and there was “even talk of training for the Olympics?” I want to see some receipts of these claims. Talk about the Olympics by whom and in what context? When was this? in high school? That indeed would have been a very big deal at the time. What was her experience with title IX in the 70’s? What events did Buck run? What were her times? How much were the sponsorships for?
Buck makes a similarly bold claim that she used to be an internationally successful model at elite agencies, but the only evidence I have ever found is that she modeled internationally. No idea for how long she modeled, how much she earned, was she a big deal in the scene?
Can someone please verify any of these claims?
“Was forced”
“Fell into”
“The drug taking spiraled”
“Hitting rock bottom, he had to finally admit he could not live as a woman” A lot of passing the buck here. Why the constant passive voice? She chose to model. She chose to try to seize control and ownership of her body via prostitution, which is a self-harm behavior. She chose to handle her mental illness with drugs- admitting the choice of one’s coping mechanisms is key to acknowledging our agency in both doing and stopping them. “I celebrate my vagina and I don’t feel any less male.” Oh, is atrophying your vagina with testosterone and then pretending to be a man in sexual encounters “celebrating” it? You’re not male.
And when is anyone going to bring up the fact that Buck made a whole career off of proselytizing transition to school kids? I find the fact that no one asks her this when they’re literally videos of her preaching to children on YouTube as a trans activist speaker so bizarre.
She seems a nice person and very charming and charismatic, but I witnessed a struggling detransitioner call her a woman on a livestream on YouTube and watched the entire facade of mental well health she projects crumble instantly. It’s was honestly shocking and changed the way I see her forever. I had always thought, “oh THIS person has a largely successful transition and is thriving” and that perception instantly evaporated as a watched her entire sense of self and self worth crumble at the hands of this immature young person. It’s the reason I now refer to her with correct-sex pronouns, bc buying into the fantasy by calling her he/him seems like enabling that fragility now.
“So, it hurts when a bunch of young people who probably aren’t even trans rake me over the coals.” She’s so immature. So no one gets to question her reasons for gender transition, but she can question theirs? The trans community treated her the exact way she treated the detransitioner who questioned her self-delusion of herself as a man. She bleats about “autogynephilic trans women” being misogynists who hijack women’s language and deny biology, but yet she talks about how hot it would be to be able to ejaculate and f**k with a p***s (I’ve witnessed this on her YouTube and it really turned me off- clearly being a man is heavily sexual to her) and sells sex toys, lube and “man-p***y” t-shirts, and has a tantrum when anyone points out being female means being a woman. You can’t have it both ways, which she sort of dances around at the end of this article. A complicated person. Screams autism to me, when I see adult women so unaware of their own clearly sexual motivations.
“I live happily as a man,”
In what way? She has no male body parts. She doesn’t have sex with male parts. She doesn’t go to the doctor to get her prostate checked. She doesn’t pee standing up. She doesn’t carry an old lady in a motor scooter down a flight of stairs bc the escalator is out. So in what way does she “live as a man.”
“but I will never, ever turn my back on women.”
But see there’s the issue. The only way she “lives as a man” is that since she mostly LOOKS like a man, people TREAT HER AS IF she were a man, and since she IS NOT male, in any material sense, she merely lives the SOCIAL expectations and behaviors we reserve for men that don’t impact the body: so gender stereotypes about behavior, personality, interests, etc. So she is literally living a gender role. How can she not see that’s in direct conflict with feminism and gay activism? I think she does see it but struggles to square it with her sense of self.
I found the story rather confusing at first, trying to sort out the cast of characters within one person, and the pronoun thing, but eventually I got the hang of it. One thing that still remains unclear to me is that Buck said the surgery wasn’t available back then, so it wasn’t a choice. But in the sixties I met April Ashley and was gob smacked by her beauty. I had no idea who she was. My biological male companion said he had been her lover, not knowing her history, and couldn’t tell the difference. So I wonder if the surgery was only available to men at that time, since medical research is always done for men first. It’s a less complicated procedure, for sure. I also wondered if Butch had birthed his chidren, as one presumes he still has a uterus.
Phalloplasty was invented in the 1940s by Dr. Harold Gillies, a British military surgeon, to repair soldiers with groin injuries. The first trans man to undergo phalloplasty was Dr. Michael Dillon (in the mid to late 1940s) and Dr. Gillies was his surgeon. Metoidioplasty was invented by Dr. Donald Laub, at Stanford University, in the 1980s or 1990s.
Many men, especially those in the US, went to Argentina for surgery. Guess where the surgeons came from? I have two friends who met in Buenos Aires following surgery paid for by Pastor fathers with German ancestry who knew people who knew the surgeons. They came to the UK in the 70s because it was more liberal than where they could afford to be in the US and never went back. Both pass as batty older women but do say that they are biological men presenting as women, who would have been gay men in a different time, different place and with different parents.
It’s refreshing to hear stores of old school transexuals who are sex realists and very aware that “trans” is a culture-bound syndrome only made possible by advancements in pharmacology and surgery.
My question was why Butch said the surgery wasn’t available at the time when it obviously was. I wonder if that’s his rational for not making the final cut?
‘Bottom surgery’ is dangerous and often leads to shocking health complications, constant bladder infections etc etc. Look up detransitioners to witness the horror stories. Anyway she/he is a lesbian, so why would she (or a lesbian partner) want a phallus (real or otherwise)?
‘Bottom surgery’ is dangerous and often leads to shocking health complications, constant bladder infections etc etc. Look up detransitioners to witness the horror stories. Anyway she/he is a lesbian, so why would she (or a lesbian partner) want a phallus (real or otherwise)?
It’s refreshing to hear stores of old school transexuals who are sex realists and very aware that “trans” is a culture-bound syndrome only made possible by advancements in pharmacology and surgery.
My question was why Butch said the surgery wasn’t available at the time when it obviously was. I wonder if that’s his rational for not making the final cut?
Phalloplasty was invented in the 1940s by Dr. Harold Gillies, a British military surgeon, to repair soldiers with groin injuries. The first trans man to undergo phalloplasty was Dr. Michael Dillon (in the mid to late 1940s) and Dr. Gillies was his surgeon. Metoidioplasty was invented by Dr. Donald Laub, at Stanford University, in the 1980s or 1990s.
Many men, especially those in the US, went to Argentina for surgery. Guess where the surgeons came from? I have two friends who met in Buenos Aires following surgery paid for by Pastor fathers with German ancestry who knew people who knew the surgeons. They came to the UK in the 70s because it was more liberal than where they could afford to be in the US and never went back. Both pass as batty older women but do say that they are biological men presenting as women, who would have been gay men in a different time, different place and with different parents.
I found the story rather confusing at first, trying to sort out the cast of characters within one person, and the pronoun thing, but eventually I got the hang of it. One thing that still remains unclear to me is that Buck said the surgery wasn’t available back then, so it wasn’t a choice. But in the sixties I met April Ashley and was gob smacked by her beauty. I had no idea who she was. My biological male companion said he had been her lover, not knowing her history, and couldn’t tell the difference. So I wonder if the surgery was only available to men at that time, since medical research is always done for men first. It’s a less complicated procedure, for sure. I also wondered if Butch had birthed his chidren, as one presumes he still has a uterus.
I’d be interested to know Buck’s thoughts on the huge and disproportionate recent rise in young girls and women identifying as trans. This issue isn’t given as much attention as the ‘biological men in women’s spaces’ issue, and might actually be the ticking time bomb.
There are a few theories but there are no authorities on the subject, perhaps there never will be, it’s all up for speculation, really.
There are a few theories but there are no authorities on the subject, perhaps there never will be, it’s all up for speculation, really.
I’d be interested to know Buck’s thoughts on the huge and disproportionate recent rise in young girls and women identifying as trans. This issue isn’t given as much attention as the ‘biological men in women’s spaces’ issue, and might actually be the ticking time bomb.
Sounds like someone it would be fascinating to have drinks with. Say what you like, that guy is not boring and and appears to have some set of principles.
BTW….looks like the kind of dude you want beside you in a bar fight. LOL
Sounds like someone it would be fascinating to have drinks with. Say what you like, that guy is not boring and and appears to have some set of principles.
BTW….looks like the kind of dude you want beside you in a bar fight. LOL
I rather feel sympathy for the kid. Most kids want normality, not this.
I rather feel sympathy for the kid. Most kids want normality, not this.
Not the sort of chap one would invite for luncheon at White’s or The Jockey Club….
Or indeed Buck’s…
Or indeed Buck’s…
Not the sort of chap one would invite for luncheon at White’s or The Jockey Club….
Who really cares?
Who really cares?