August 3, 2021 - 7:00am
When Alana Smith, who competed in the women’s street skateboarding event for Team USA at the Olympics last week, was referred to as ‘she’ by NBC and BBC commentators a number of people took to Twitter to complain that Smith had been ‘misgendered’. Smith identifies as non-binary and goes by the ‘they/them’ pronouns, and had painted them on the side of her skateboard. But Smith was a competitor in the women’s event. Perhaps the IOC should have given training to commentators, as has the BBC to its broadcast staff, on pronoun use?
The ever-increasing pressure to add pronouns (he/him; she/her; they/them; zir/zer) is as offensive as it is unnecessary.
I grew up being labelled a ‘tomboy’ because I hated feminine frippery such as skirts, tights and ribbons in my hair. I didn’t understand why girls were supposed to dress differently from boys. I would try my very best to inveigle my way into the boys’ rough and tumble games. As a result of my non-compliance with gender rules, I was constantly asked whether I was “a boy or a girl”.
Having grown noticeable breasts by the time I was 12 and being regularly sexually harassed as a result of it, it was clear that men well knew the answer to that question.
In adulthood, many of the same prejudices follow me around. Lesbians routinely experience harassment because we are not considered to be “real women”. Our ‘authenticity’ as women is often measured by superficial sexist indicators. A key role of feminism is to rid the world of gender stereotypes. I therefore refuse to use terminology that capitulates to the notion of individual gender identities. There are two sexes, male and female, and although I do not care in the slightest who might refer to themselves as non-binary or transgender or whatever, I will not have it imposed upon me. It would be like demanding that I believe in God.
I realise now that any time I have been asked which sex I am, often in an aggressive manner by men in gangs, the question is never genuine — rather, it is a form of hostile interrogation. How dare I shun make-up and heels? Why do I wear jeans and never dresses? I have broken the rules.
Despite decades of feminism, women have not yet achieved the right to be able to do away with sexist prefixes such as “ladies”, “Mrs” or “Miss”. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve witnessed ignorant individuals who have asked “who is the man?” when referring to lesbian couples. And yet much of the focus in the workplace about non-discriminatory language is the appeasement of those that pretend sex is a floating signifier.
To me, the creeping use of ‘preferred pronouns’ is ultimately a form of sexist bullying. My advice to anyone being asked to include pronouns in email sign-offs, meetings or wherever, is to politely refuse. The more of us that refuse to go along with this offensive doctrine, the better.
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Subscribe…and yet if you work in the public/NGO/charity sectors it is rapidly becoming an enforceable norm. I came across ‘fae/faer’ the other day. This is apparently a pagan or ‘fairygender’ usage. WTF?
Wish we had a ‘laugh’ button!
If i am ever required to do this, I am going to identify as a different gender every few days and change my pronouns every few days. And if anyone gets it wrong, I’ll take them to HR. If everyone did this, the ridiculousness would become apparent and maybe the “system” would crash.
I have a friend who has been approached for a job in local government. The application form asked for my friend’s “preferred pronouns”. My friend declined to apply for the job, as he realised then that he could not possibly work for such an organisation. The public sector is sick.
Good idea. HR/diversity & inclusion departments can then figure out what to do with the monster they have created. It is apparently perfectly reasonable to be gender fluid, so they must keep up.
Now you know where all those university gender studies graduates found employment.
Oh yes…. the Hardly Relevant departments that have to justify their existence.
In my part of the NHS we referred to Human Remains.
Good heavens! Well, the goof coming from a BBC pundit certainly made me chuckle.
haha…. wonder if I can have Sith as a pronoun…. or maybe tobe/nottobe
I have always been extra macho as far as enduring pain, discomfort, and danger – As a young man I set out on a hard path in life where I then had to always just out-tough everyone else in my line of vocation. I had to show I was tougher than you by refusing to show that I even cared about risk and discomfort. It was silly I suppose really – but then by forcing yourself to be hard, you did end up being pretty hard in the end – so it does work – and is I suppose that is why this is a masculine inclination, because long ago men had to be hard.
Anyway, My preferred pronoun will be ‘Alpha Man‘ from now on. Let it out, be what I am, let the hidden me out of the bag.
‘Sanford just managed to carry a 140 pound pressure treated 2 X 12 up 20 foot of ladder alone, Alpha Man (he/him) showing again what he (Alpha Man) can do.’
It’s the they/them pronoun that gets me. So you’re plural? You’re telling me that you have multiple personality disorder? I struggle to take the pronoun thing seriously, it feels like an attention seeking trend. The miss/ms/mrs thing never bothered me but this pronoun malarkey is getting ridiculous.
We are not amused by they/them.
I have had they same thought re: ‘they/them’. It’s as if it’s acknowledgement of a mental illness which it was not too long ago defined as such in medical texts.
LinkedIn sent a message recently urging me to update my profile by adding pronouns.
It’s not actually required but it was framed to make it seem like important information that would enhance one’s profile.
It makes me wonder how much of the apparent voluntary insistence on nonsensical pronouns is being led from above.
Perhaps it starts as voluntary…..
Think I’ll bin my account if I receive that. Don’t use it much anyway.
I am intrigued by the possibility that an old fat bloke pretending to be a woman has just taken the mickey out of the whole world at the Olympics and nobody was permitted to get the joke. Would my restore my faith in New Zealanders!
Thanks Unherd for a sensible and balanced article from a journalist who can see the issue from both sides of the divide.
Did Ms. Hubbard deliberately throw the barbells backwards over her head to the floor to cap the joke on the IOC?
She has easily lifted that weight beforehand…
I did wonder if the failed lift might be a way of exiting gracefully.
Still, the gutsy performance from Emily Campbell made for excellent viewing. Well done her!
Or the fact that she is 43, when 26 is the optimum age for a weight lifter.
Why sexist bullying? It is just bullying which seems to be largely the purpose of the whole LDPT+/- racket, giving a bunch of misanthropes licence to exercise power over and abuse the rest of us.
However the author is not blameless in all this. “Despite decades of feminism, women have not yet achieved the right to be able to do away with sexist prefixes such as “ladies”, “Mrs” or “Miss”” illustrates perfectly the source of this current nonsense.
Agreed. After a lifetime of politically bullying others, the author is now, for the first time, on the receiving end, and doesn’t like it a bit.
What’s next – eliminating first names as they clearly define you as male or female? Thank you ‘J’ for an excellent article. Yours, ‘R’
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All good scenario people do this. Truth is just way whackier.
I always bristly when some young punk calls me ‘Sanford’ instead of ‘Mr Artzen’.
I no longer correct them but just glare a bit, but when did the young become so ill mannered?
That must be down to English culture permeating into American sensibilities. I was well put out by young children ( my kids’friends) calling me by my first name and then by 16 year olds pupils I thought in an English state run sixth form. I had to get used to it and accept that respect is hard won rather than given .
Actually, I am less annoyed by the solipsists who are fixated upon being misgendered – I just assume that they are obsessives who suffer from a minor mental deficiency – than I am by the slack-arses who think that their contribution to the discussion is important, but couldn’t be bothered to proof-read the same for grammatical or logical errors before hitting the “send” button. I wasted half a minute trying to discern what this correspondent was actually driving at, before I realised it was just a typographical error, and that I could have it make sense by simply substituting the word “taught” for the word “thought”.
I refuse.
The trans movement has been very effective in their campaign to wipe out the distinction between sex and gender, and the media have gone along with it. No one is ‘misgendered at birth’. Birth certificates indicate sex, not gender (whatever that is).
Pronouns are about what sex you are, not what ‘gender’. If you can stand up to pee (whether you choose to do so or not), you’re a he, if you can’t, you’re a she. Simple.
The folks who demand alternative pronouns are just narcissists who want to call attention to themselves
So many questions…..for instance, how about I insist on a special pronoun for when people directly address me? “You” just doesn’t express my most authentic self. Please address me as “me.” Don’t say, “Would you like me to pour you a cup of coffee?” Say instead, “Would me like me to pour me a cup of coffee?” To refuse to use my personal preferred pronoun is to, like, literally erase my existence.
I object to being referred to by a pronoun at all since it detracts from my individuality. “Martin Smith was seated at Martin Smith’s desk doing Martin Smith’s work. After Martin Smith finished the work Martin Smith went home,”
A couple of years ago, my university department requested us to choose our personal pronouns for a departmental list. I wrote back that cataract surgery had suddenly endowed me with the ability to read Russian, and requested Мы и наши as my pronouns. Needless to say, a committee denounced me for this microaggression, and complaints about my existence were made to HR. I toyed with the idea of making an official complaint to the Equity Office, on behalf of the Russianx community, about this systemic Latin Alphabet Supremacism, but decided further joking might be hazardous.
Good grief ! An article by Julie that I actually agree with.
I think if I’m ever asked for my pronouns I will say they are “n*gg*r” / “n*gro”.
That should set the cat amongst the pigeons. What to do, what to do?
One could go for ‘Seine Durchlautigkeit/ Seiner Durchlautigkeit’, identifying as a German prince. On what grounds could it be refused? It would be hard to get the grammar right, though.
The American actress Gina Carano (The Mandolorian) joked on Twitter that her pronouns were ‘bip / bop’ and that got her tossed out of Hollywood. She’s landed on her feet with a production deal with media biz whiz Ben Shapiro.
Why is a Non-binary being allowed to compete in women’s street skateboarding?
If a competitor identifies as ‘they’ shouldn’t ‘they’ be competing as a team?
Very thought provoking.
Thanks.
How about “he/hers”?
Is that identifying as a donkey?
Very good. It would be a kind of ee(ither) orr…
Is the pronoun ‘fool’ acceptable for those who deny simply, basic, scientific facts? I don’t want to be cancelled so I need to be sure!
Agree, Julie, the autocracy of pronoun self-righteousness.
I’m trying to work out why Mrs and Miss could be unnecessary; do they have no value?
Is this a good faith question? Categorising women by their marital status (Mrs/Miss) but not men (only Mr) is, at least to me, obviously sexist.
Well, these days we have the omnipresent Ms.
I never understood why marital status should matter, especially when so few get (or stay) married.
A reasonable point. I do still see them used, including Mrs. If people wish to use them and indeed prefer to over simply stating your name, I wouldn’t wish for that choice to be taken away.
I love it when my housekeeper refers to me as ‘Miss Cathy’ – makes me giggle inside : ). I don’t correct her.
The ‘Mrs’ is a hangover from the old days and the Ms was introduced to correct that. I use Ms – I used it before and after marriage.
Once upon a time, whether a woman was married was the most important information you had about her place in society. Quite reasonably, address forms reflected this. As the world changed, the forms had to change – I cold not care less whether Christine Lagarde is married or not and could not be bothered to find out first if I had to address her.
In other languages, like German or Danish, the equivalent of ‘Mrs’ changed so it could be used as a respectful address to a woman whether married or not. In some ways that is a better option, but in English ‘Mrs’ was tied so strongly to married status that this could not be made to work. You can sort of see why – German ‘frau’ is also the word for woman and ‘die Frauenkirche’ is ‘The Church of our Lady’, not ‘The Church of our Missus’.
‘Ms’ was sexist bullying but Julie doesn’t mention that.
Hmm, I’d state my preferred pronoun to be we/us (as in the royal we)! Then again, I quite like the now rather outdated “one”.
Thank you. Brilliant.