aiglasgowKate Middletonoompa loompaScotlandWilly Wonkawonka

The internet is awash with clips about “Willy’s Chocolate Experience,” a £35 event in Glasgow billed as an “immersive experience” which in reality was a sad tour of a sparsely decorated warehouse which made children cry and prompted calls to the police. Posters, apparently AI-generated, advertised the event as an “encherining” experience replete with “cartchy tuns” — a veritable “pasadise of sweet teats”. Children were reportedly given a mere two jelly beans each and half a cup of lemonade.

The event starred a lethargic female oompa loompa running what many spectators have described as a meth lab, as well as “The Unknown,” a terrifying cloaked character in a silver mask with no relationship to the classic book that inspired the Glasgow show.

One Twitter user shrewdly observed that the event took place near an art school, and might be an art project skewering AI. “They chose willy wonka because that story itself is about people going somewhere they think will be wonderful and their expectations not meeting reality.” Behind the scenes: A missing Princess Kate is rumoured to have resurfaced in Glasgow.